imperfectly--flawless-blog
Imperfectly Flawless
Hello! I am a 21-year-old college student. To be more specific, a prospective nursing student. I am creating this blog to freely express myself as well as to potentially help others to heal and connect through similar stories. In my short lifespan, I have gone through many rough situations. Being the child of divorced parents, I have gone through the yelling, screaming and derogatory comments my parents have thrown to each other and to myself, leading to a feeling of worthlessness. While the time passed by and my parents attempted to get their lives together, I suffered through physical, sexual and emotional abuse.
Suddenly, all the things started to pile up, and I struggled with anxiety and depression. Anxious over becoming my parents. Anxious of being hurt. Anxious to speak. The world was frightening. Despite the feeling of suffocation, I fought to stay invested in school, to pursue a degree and to not fall under the temptations of drugs or alcohol. I’m fighting to live.
Now, I am married with my wonderful husband. I became acquainted with him at 14, and he undoubtfully has been a support system for me ever since. As a young couple, we face with immigration, and some financial obstacles. Yet, we keep moving forward.
Overall, my past and my present have accumulated causing me to take a temporary break from pursuing my career. In fact, I only have a year to finish, but the pressure on my shoulders was not lessening, and I needed to invest some time on me. This blog is made so that I can share my experiences. Finally, I’m trying to be vulnerable and freely express myself with the purpose to heal. I hope to encourage others to share their experiences as well!
4 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
depressedleonardmccoy
Untitled
amna369-blog
Amna
captainpotassium
Spaaace!!! ETC
insomniacinserts
Mmm Pretty Anime Boys😍
honeymilkmedley
h o n e y m i l k !
Photo
Gonna keep saying this till I graduate #graduation
Little steps every day add up.
102K notes
·
View notes
Text
My love is never ending.
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Lost.
This past month I received exciting news. I was going to become a mom. After a year of trying, my husband and I managed to conceive. We were beyond ecstatic.
On a personal note, I have always been struggling with my physical health. I have always had a hard time with weight management, and I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes last march. Recently, I lost 22 pounds and my sugar control was better than it’s ever been. These changes allowed me to become pregnant. Yet, because I was still considered overweight and I have diabetes, my pregnancy was considered high risk.
Immediately, my husband and I went to a specialist. On the first doctor visit, the physician was able to see a gestational sac but the embryo, which will turn into the baby, was not formed yet. I was told it was just too early to see anything. I was instructed to make another appointment the following week. While I waited for my next appointment, I had to check my sugar levels six times a day. I pricked my finger a total of 42 times or more a week.
A week went by and the ultrasound still did not show an embryo. Again, I rescheduled for the week after.
“Its just too early.”
Instantly, I thought, “did I mess this up?” I tried so hard to do everything I was instructed. My sugar intake was extremely low. I was taking my prescribed medications as well as my prenatal and a baby aspirin. I exercised the recommended amount. I did not want to mess this up. 42 pokes later, and it was time for my next appointment.
Again, the third ultrasound revealed nothing. However, the gestational sac seemed a bit deformed. I was told that things did not seem good. Its possible that a miscarriage could occur. I was terrified and distraught. Prior to the appointment, I was having back pains and I did spot. The physician ordered a lab test to see how my hormone levels were doing. This test would show if I will be able to sustain the pregnancy. This lab work was done a week ago.
Today, I got a call. My levels are low. I have bled some more. It seems like a miscarriage will occur. All I was instructed to do now is wait.
Waiting for the one thing I managed to love the most in such a short period of time to disappear is agonizing. I know these things happen, but I can’t help but to feel at fault.
1 note
·
View note