my teacher told me to go home, make a blog&complain about everything. so, im not here to spare any feelings. im here to hurt them → about → ask → links → gallery -------------------------------------------------------------
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You are definitely worth people's time if you give up yours.
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t’s been awhile since i’ve had a night filled with fun, laughs and games. I wasn’t sure what to expect at first since it was my first time to one of these group gatherings. I thought I’d be treated differentently. I imagined myself unable to fit in and connect with everyone. I was never good at conversing with people, even if they were friends. But I suppose thats what friends do, they make you feel incredibly comfortable. The night took off and whatever happened at jjjis, stays at jjjis. But what was really important started after I left. I was the first one to leave. Which was no surprise, I’m the party pooper type. It was nearly midnight, and my parents had called me a gazillion times while we sat in the kitchen spilling out our secrets. Everytime they called, the room fell silent. Everyone could hear how loud my parents were on the phone. It didn’t matter, I was feeling closer to everyone anyways. So I left . I didn’t bother tying my shoelaces because it was just a eight minute walk back home. As I crossed the street the wind blew and my coat swayed back but I didn’t feel cold at all. Did those talks heat me up? I stopped, waiting for the van to turn into the streets when suddenly I heard someone call my name. I turned around to see the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the past 2 years. I didn’t feel anything. At the time I told myself he shouldn’t have followed, he should just let me get attacked or something. I didn’t care if I did. I never would’ve. I was a big girl of almost sixteen and a half. I could walk myself home. I told him to just go back, that I didn’t need him to walk me, but he didn’t budge. I was surprised, he walked pretty fast. In my head I wished he didn’t, but did not have enough nerves to ask him to slow down. As we talked I looked up to him and told myself, wow, he’s a real person, I can actually have a conversation with him without awkwardness. We talked about school and how I was moving soon. He had forgotten I had math class with him and kept apologizing. We were at my street. Earlier I told him to just leave me here but our conversation didn’t let us. We were pretty loud, the whole street must’ve heard us but it didn’t matter at the moment. We had arrived at my house I looked straight at it not making eye contact with him which I didn’t know I’d later regret. I thanked him and he headed back the same way we came. I crossed the street and closed my fence door knowing my younger sister never liked the sound of it banging. I looked to see if he would turn around. He never did. I opened the front door and quietly closed it thinking wow what a surprise. Little did I know, it was a set up
Ok so last night was a long night filled of laughs then some serious stuff. Idk it was my first time to one of those group gatherings…. It’s like Vegas, whatever happens at jjjis, stays at jjjis. But that’s not what I wanted to vent about, anyways I would not be able to bcuz I’m not allowed to talk about it ahah… It’s what happened afterwards. Honesty when it happened it felt like nothing.. but if I think about it now .. well that’s the thing I’m thinking about it now… So anyways.. I was the first one to leave, no surprise that I’m the party pooper, it was nearly midnight, and my parents had called me a gazillion times while I was there, everytime they did the room fell silent so everyone could hear them on the phone, oh well I was feeling closer to everyone anyways.. so I left . I didn’t bother tying my shoelaces bcuz it was just a 8 minute walk.. as I crossed the street the wind blew, my coat swayed back but I didn’t feel cold at all, did those talks heat me up? As I walked behind the van trying to turn into the streets I heard someone call my name. I turned around to see the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the past 2 years. I didn’t feel anything. At the time I told myself he shouldn’t have followed, he should just let me get attacked or something. I didn’t care if I did. I never would’ve. I was a big girl of almost 16 and a half, I could walk myself home. But when I asked him he just couldn’t let me walk home alone. I was surprised, he walked pretty fast. In my head I wished he didn’t, but did not have enough nerves to ask him to slow down. As we talked I looked up to him and told myself, wow, he’s a real person, I can actually have a conversation with him without awkwardness. We talked about school and how I was moving soon.. he had forgotten I had math class with him and kept apologizing. We were at my street, earlier I told him to just leave me here but our conversation didn’t let us. We were pretty loud, the whole street must’ve heard us but it didn’t matter at the moment. We had arrived at my house I looked straight at it not making eye contact with him which I didn’t know I’d later regret. I thanked him and he headed back the same way we came. I crossed the street and closed my fence door knowing my younger sister never liked the sound of it banging. I looked to see if he would turn around. He never did. I opened the front door and quietly closed it thinking woow what a surprise.
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i’m the type of person who will miss you to death but won’t do anything about it because i don’t want to seem like the desperate one
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That loud clapping I heard better be from you.. if you were even there bcuz I couldn't look
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#Happy Valentines Day#valentine#valentines day#forever alone#b&w#black and white#window#rain#depressing#mine
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