impiwimp

[impiwimp]

ok ignore that im five days late, this is done w/ the shortcuts app on ios

heres the settings

make a file folder with all your mp3’s in it, link it to this script (replace “LANCER” with the folder), and set the shortcut as an icon on your home screen

got my mp3’s w/ a youtube to mp3 converter, and edited down the queen’s mixtape one to be 4 seconds long. i recommend putting a lot of copies of the splat sound if you want your other sounds to be rarer to get lol

made a lancer button

[impiwimp]

made a lancer button

[impiwimp]

apply, rejected. apply, rejected. apply, ghosted. apply, interviewed, rejected. apply, ghosted. apply, interviewed, rejected. apply, ghosted. apply, interviewed, rejected.

[impiwimp]

[impiwimp]

mouse girl commercial airline pilot who gets on the intercom and says "this is your captain squeaking... we've just ahhh, reached our maximum cruising altitude of 32,000 feet, which is very high and scary for me because I'm a mouse"

[impiwimp]

Abacadabra! I've conjured another Good Morning out of thin air!!!

[impiwimp]

The science behind THC + alcohol as a combination is literally soo interesting because it basically causes the crimson red duckling in your body to confront the serpent in the bronze vessel of your heart. Basically you feel good because the duckling is able to eat the harmonious seeds stored within the vessel and transfer these positive energies into your body. You can have bad highs when this happens if the duckling awakens the serpent and bites the duckling. The interesting part is when you ingest alcohol after THC because it floods the vessel and causes the serpent to fall into a deep sleep. The duckling never gets attacked by the serpent when this happens because it is unconscious and the duckling is actually able to get fat from the harmonious seed, which causes an enjoyable sensation.

[impiwimp]

Art by: crunchyduckling

[impiwimp]

i put off posting this one for a while cus im a little embarrassed hehehe but i looove drawing unhinged expressions so much and shes the most fun subject for it.

[impiwimp]

biden prostate cancer

[impiwimp]

the full schedule for summer games done quick 2025, benefitting doctors without borders, was just posted! it looks like the finale this year will be deltarune!

games done quick is an organization that hosts charity events showcasing video games played with top-level skill. speedruns, challenge runs, randomizers, and knocking people's socks off by playing video games wrong for some fantastic causes. to date, GDQ has raised tens of MILLIONS of dollars (USD) for charity.

there are a bunch of great video game-themed prizes to win. summer games done quick raises money for a group called doctors without borders.

Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) cares for people affected by conflict, disease outbreaks, natural and human-made disasters, and exclusion from health care in more than 70 countries.

from the doctors without borders website. money raised watching video games goes directly towards saving lives all over the world. SGDQ is their top fundraiser!

this is a really fun way to do a TON of good. summer games done quick 2025 will be held july 6 through july 13, with awesome stuff happening 24 hours a day, both in person in minneapolis and streaming online. literally 24/7!

in addition to the two main events of awesome games done quick (in the winter!) and summer games done quick (in the summer!) games done quick also has awesome programming alongside other smaller charity events year-round! if you like video games, check them out!

games done quick kicks ass! who else is fucking hype for SGDQ!!! which runs are you looking forward to?

[impiwimp]

just FYI!

[impiwimp]

Job listings be like:

People harasser (0.4$/hour)

5000$ salary work now remote job! (scam)

Food industry (0.3$/hour)

Online scammer (0.3$/hour)

Help a Danish farmer put on his socks (4000$/hour)

Job that requires a degree (0.4$/hour)

Pick up dog shit (1.2$/hour)

Online remote job (scam)

Remote job (scam)

Job (scam)

[impiwimp]

just found out that there is a sudanfunds website! like gazafunds, it is a compilation of funds for people facing genocide

[impiwimp]

haha thank god tomorrow is not monday. if tomorrow were monday i would surely lose it haha. i would go crazy haha. i would murder people lol. murderrr. crazyyy. i would commit homicide. haha. thank god it isn't right. haha

[impiwimp]