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ryan_hoeslinger

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Poisonous Love

It's always the same, over and over again, you give someone everything you have, you support them, care for them, sympathize with them, love them with every ounce in your body. And what do you get in the end? A broken heart with a half assed explanation of why they hurt you, lies that are so deeply rooted inside your brain, they sound true. I love you, these three words are so powerfully evil, by letting these words slowly infiltrate your heart, your brain, you're entire life. You're lead to believe that everything was meant to lead to that moment, that exact moment to hear these words. I'm done caring for other people, it made me happy once, it made me happy to help people, pull them out of their darkest holes, but it only leads to me being hurt. For as long as i can remember, I never had someone be there for me in my darkest moments, and here i am again, in a hole so fucking deep, a hole i dug to perfection, all the roses, the flowers that once gave that hole a beautiful mirage, turned into thorns, which makes it even harder to climb up. Here i am again, alone, fragile, weak, lost, with no idea of who i am anymore, or the next step i need to take. I gave everything i could, to this so called (love of my life), it made sense back then. But now, now that i found out that everything was a lie, an exquisite lie, cooked to perfection. For anyone who's still wondering what love feels like, love is like hypnosis, you can be miserable today, and in 24 hours you're a completely different person because of it. What's fucked up about this, is when the master of hypnosis snaps his fingers to wake you up, you just wish he didn't. You wish you were left clueless, because even though you were lied to, you felt alive, you felt happy, you felt like belonging. So when it's all over, it hits you so hard, that you become lost in your thoughts, looking for logical explanations of an emotional decision based on a sweet lie told to you in a perfectly timed moment to make you feel what you feel. I am completely lost, regretting every breath, every action taken in the direction of pleasuring my masked partner, every good morning and good night message. I regret sharing my essence with someone who didn't care about having it in the first place. There's a special place in hell for these kind of people, but since i won't be there to witness it, all i can do is forget about the me that was shared with them, and strive for a new self, a much more cautious self, a self that doesn't bend to the need to anyone else but it, that doesn't believe in a world where words are used in such a poisonous manner, a self that will achieve it's goals first and no one else's. Easier said than done, it will be hard, there will be conflict within. But what matters the most, is that there will come a day, when you'll wake up in the morning, and you'll find that you have completely healed, with only minuscule fragments of the once broke you who, once again, got through some of the hardest periods in your life's history, and fought hard to climb out of that stenchy and deep hole, where light can't reach. That morning is when you'll realize that in the end, you only have yourself and that the only one who can make you happy, accomplished, proud, loved and cherished, is yourself. With that in mind, you start your new journey, with much more confidence and understanding of what's surrounding you, and most importantly what's inside of you.

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Reblog if you're bored and want random anons.

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When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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Is this Relationship Working for You?

Not every friendship is helpful and worthwhile … and sometime we need to ask ourselves the following:

1. What am I getting from the relationship? Is this person there for me when I need them most? Do they build me up, and bring out the best in me?

2. Is this friendship draining, or is it mainly negative? Do I feel I’m just being used?

3. Can I be genuine and real – and just myself - with this person? Or are they likely to react if I share my honest thoughts?

4. Do they care about my feelings, my views and my opinions? Or do they treat me like an object, whose feelings never count?

5. Am I putting up with things because it’s started to feel normal? Am I scared that no-one else would really want to be my friend?

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8 Tips for Having a Low Stress Life

1. Simplify – your time, your stuff, your social life.

2. Live in the moment.

3. Practice gratitude.

4. Take control of the thoughts that pull you back into the past.

5. Stop the anxious thoughts about “what next”, and of your future.

6. Practice getting comfortable with saying “no”.

7. Don’t worry about others, and what they think of you.

8. Do your best, then relax, and avoid perfectionism.

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no nature without freedom

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A lot of you have been asking how I go about making my graphics, i.e. how I do graphic design, so I thought I’d make a guide - or perhaps a series of guides if you would like - on how to design graphics! First off, I’d like to introduce you to the fundamental elements of graphic design, and hopefully this will help you gain a new perspective. and improve your own design skills.

Lines are structures that connect two points. They make up everything that we see, even the letters and characters we read every day. But more often than not, we take them for granted. In reality, lines are one of the most rudimentary components of graphic design, and they serve to channel ideas and emotion.

Lines can:

Organize pieces of information or elements on a page

Serve as guidelines to lead the viewer’s eye

Provide movement such as using wavy lines to represent moving water

Emphasize certain parts of the page

Set a mood, such as how straight lines evoke order and neatness while zig-zags convey excitement and tension

A shape is any two-dimensional area with a recognizable boundary. They can add interest to designs (such as in backgrounds), organize visual content, and be used to make illustrations.

Shapes exist in three categories:

Geometric shapes are regular shapes like circles and squares

Organic shapes are more freeform, such as a blob or a leaf

Abstract shapes have a recognizable form but are not exactly natural shapes, such as alphabet glyphs, spirals, and stick figures

When brought together, these shapes can form helpful illustrations that will help convey meaning to your work or add some decoration to it.

The effects achieved by the shapes are determined by its form, color, size, and other characteristics. For example, triangles often show excitement and risk, while circles are seen as eternal and often feminine.

In the example illustration below, which is one of my January wallpapers, I use triangles to convey a feeling of vivacity and excitement.

Different shapes may also be used to structure content or create a layout, making it easier for the user’s eyes to find information. This is often the case in blogs and websites.

Color can be used to make an image stand out, convey information, enhance meaning, or group things together, but how do you know what colors ‘fit’ together? When you’re starting out, you might find it easier to look for color schemes from pinterest or wherever you can find inspiration. It also helps to look for images or photographs that evoke the same vibe you’re going for, and then using a similar color scheme.

But what if you want to make a palette yourself? Learn color theory!

Before I elaborate, here’s some terminology for you:

Hue is the color itself

Value is how dark or light the color is

Saturation is the intensity of the color

Now, how do you go about making a color scheme? Here are some types of color schemes you should know about:

Monochromatic color schemes only use one hue but vary in value and saturation.

Analogous color schemes use colors adjacent to each other on the color wheel, such as red, orange, and yellow, or blues and greens.

Complementary color schemes use colors opposite each other on the color wheel. To add complexity, play with the value and saturation of these colors.

Split complementary color schemes use colors on either side of the complement.

Triadic color schemes use three colors that form an equilateral triangle on the color wheel. These are often very stark and in-your-face, so you might want to use this type of color scheme in moderation.

Tetradic color schemes use four colors that form a rectangle on the color wheel. These are more effective if one color serves as the main color and the other three colors are just accents.

When choosing a color scheme, the main thing you should keep in mind is balance. Using fewer colors means it’ll be easier to balance and thus it is less likely that the piece will appear messy and discordant.

Color has the power of evoking emotions and moods, and each hue and shade has certain connotations associated with it.

In the illustration below - which is part of my April wallpaper set - I use the color green to convey the safety and familiarity of the comfort zone. The color red, on the other hand, shows risk and danger, but it also represents the courage required to get out of the comfort zone.

So the next time you’re thinking of what colors to use in your project, think of what kind of message you want the audience to receive.

Like the other elements we’ve discussed so far, type conveys meaning beyond what is written. Type can communicate a mood, style, vibe, or feeling. A curly or script font might appear fancy and extravagant, while a handwritten font may seem raw and playful.

Different types of fonts are also suitable for different contexts. For example, sans-serif fonts are more readable on screen while serif fonts are more readable in print. Display fonts, on the other hand, tend to be fancy and decorative, and thus should only be used for small amounts of text, like titles.

Audience and purpose also serve a role in deciding what fonts to use. Large, bubbly text is suitable for a children’s birthday party invitation but probably not for a business card.

In graphic design, different fonts are often used in tandem with each other. The main principle or rule behind this is that you should choose fonts that complement each other. Large, bold fonts should be paired with small, subtle fonts. Oftentimes, you’ll have to rely on your instincts, and that’s okay.

Remember, though, that you wouldn’t want to overwhelm your readers by using too many fonts. Stick to one or two per project. To add variation, change the weight or style of the existing fonts.

Finally, your text would be more effective if you establish some sort of visual hierarchy. This essentially means sorting out your text in order of importance, using different typefaces and fonts. This includes adding a certain weight (or boldness) or increasing the size of texts that are more significant.

In the title graphic below, the word “podcasts” is handwritten and larger than the rest of the title because that’s what I want to draw attention to, so that readers know what the post is about. My name, on the other hand, is smaller than the other texts.

Texture adds tactility and depth and can also be used to evoke a certain feel. In this graphic from my March desktop wallpaper, I used a tape texture and a paint texture to achieve a scrapbook-y vibe.

Some other common textures used in designs are foil, watercolor, and paper textures. Although there are many textures to experiment with and choose from, you should also be careful not to overwhelm your viewers with too many textures in one piece.

Lines, shapes, color, text, and texture are the five basic elements of graphic design, and by understanding how these elements work together, you’ll be able to make more effective designs.

Now, the question is, do I think deeply about all of this when I make my designs? To be honest, not really. A lot of my designs are instinctual, but knowing the theory behind what I’m doing has helped me improve those instincts, and you can do the same!

That’s all for now. Hope this helps, and let me know if you would like me to continue the series or if this brief blog post is enough. Happy designing :)

Disclaimer: I’m not a graphic designer, just a stressed-out senior who sometimes likes to design and stuff.

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Do you Want to Enjoy your Life?

1. Don’t keep doing things you hate.

2. Stop terrorizing yourself with your negative thoughts.

3. Choose to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

4. Watch what you say; don’t put yourself or others down.

5. Take care of your body, and love and care for it.

6. Develop a life-style that helps develop self-esteem.

7. Don’t compare yourself with others; note where you have grown and changed.

8. Stop trying to change others; keep the focus on yourself.

9. Laugh a lot; enjoy yourself; and don’t take life too seriously.

10. Accept compliments, and value everything you are.

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Things that can Destroy your Motivation

1. Not having goals. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t know what they are.

2. Choosing goals that don’t inspire you. You won’t be able to keep on going if the prize at the end doesn’t really matter to you.

3. Expecting immediate results. Anything worthwhile is a battle and a struggle. It takes times and effort to bring about a change.

4. Lack of support. We all need someone to believe in us and to be our cheerleader when we start to feel discouraged.

5. Not believing in yourself. As Henry Ford so wisely said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

6. Feeling bored. Most success involves a lot of humdrum work, and repeatedly doing the same kind of stuff. But each day brings you closer to achieving what you want.

7. Inaction and laziness. You have to work the plan before the plan will work … and dreams are only dream till you turn your thoughts to actions. Also, it’s crucially important that you manage your time well, and you don’t get distracted or procrastinate.

8. Being around negative people. There are plenty of people who only see the flaws, and whose eyes are on the problems, and the absence of solutions. If you hang out with them, you will lose your zest and passion, and your positive outlook will soon be undermined.

9. Comparing yourself to others. We each are individuals, and we start from different places; we all face our challenges, and work at different rates. Remember “it’s your journey”. Be patient with yourself.

10. Encountering setbacks. No matter how great your plans, or your level of commitment, you’re bound to face some setbacks and encounter obstacles. That’s a normal part of growth – just keep going when life’s tough.

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The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action.

Deepak Chopra (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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10 Types of Emotional Manipulator

1. The Constant Victim - This kind of individual will always finds a way to end up as a victim in their relationships.

2. One-Upmanship Expert – This person uses put downs, snide remarks and criticisms, to show that they’re superior, and know much more than you.

3. Powerful Dependents – They hide behind the mask of being weak and powerless – then use their helplessness to dominate relationships. That is, they send the subtle message “you must not let me down.”

4. Triangulators – This person tries to get other people on their side. They’re quick to put you down, and to say some nasty things. They separate good friends or drive a wedge in families.

5. The Blasters – They blast you with their anger or they blow up suddenly. That stops you asking questions - in case there’s a showdown.

6. The Projector – This person thinks they’re perfect and others have the flaws. They take no ownership – because they’re never, ever wrong.

7. The Deliberate Mis-Interpreter – They seem like a nice person – but they twist and use your words. They spread misinformation and misinterpret you. Thus, they deliberately present you in a false, negative way.

8. The Flirt – This person uses flirting to get their way in life. They want to be admired and to have an audience. However, your feelings and your needs are of no concern to them.

9. The Iron Fist – They use intimidation and throw their weight around, to use you for their ends, and to get their way in life.

10. The Multiple Offender – This person uses several of the techniques we’ve described – and they’ll often switch between them if it suits their purposes.

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😋

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The majority of us as kids probably played some version of the car-ride imagination game where we controlled some whip or sword that cut down telephone poles and signs as we rode by.

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Emotional Wellness

If you want to boost your emotional health then build the following into your life:

1. Develop a good group of friends. If possible, try and have quite a wide group of friends. That then means if someone moves away, or you change your school, your hobbies and so on, you’ll still a healthy support system in place.

2. Learn to appreciate solitude. Isolation isn’t the same as solitude. Isolation is being cut off from others for negative reasons; solitude is enjoying space and time for yourself – so you can recharge your batteries, and enjoy just being “you”.

3. Invest time in getting fit. People who are fit and healthy generally feel better about themselves. Also, exercise releases feel good hormones so we feel happier, more optimistic and relaxed.

4. Allow yourself to goof off and have a laugh – as too much work will drain your energy.

5. Discover your passion and invest time in that. We all have something that brings us alive, and seems to resonate with who we are inside … So investing in your passion is extremely satisfying!

6. Plan for difficulties and problems. We all encounter problems and hard times in this life. Expecting that to happen helps us feel more in control - as we understand it’s normal - so we don’t just fall apart.

7. Work on increasing your self-awareness. As above, we all have blind spots and idiosyncrasies. If we can learn about ourselves, and our natural tendencies, we can learn to master weaknesses, and work to change and grow.

8. Be willing to take risks. Though it’s hard to step out into unknown territory, you’ll find it’s more rewarding to stretch yourself and grow.

9. Watch out for energy vampires. There are plenty of people who will drain your energy so learn how to say “no”, and to set some boundaries.

10. Ask for help when you need it. We all need support and encouragement at times … And offer help to others when things are tough for them.

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You’re a different person to everyone. You’re the hero, the villain, the sidekick, the unrequited love, and and an “extra” in other people’s life story