imqueerandadeer

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an old picture i took of the countryside on my iphone 2011

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Sometimes I’m tired of being nice. One day your femur will be mine

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I know that some British people take umbridge at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

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tumblr, i've been neglecting you :( here are some TOA solangelo doodles

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you heard my friend go read it

if you've seen me promote my newest fic to hell and back it's because I put three months of work into it and I'm anxious It's flopping and I'll be damned if it flops

Heres the link it's a timeloop AU, please read the tags

[imqueerandadeer]

I will be in the faggot brackets next year mark my words

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[imqueerandadeer]

Every time someone complains about poc pjo hcs (and also Leah as Annabeth) I turn another one of your favorites into a poc

"i hope they don't mess up the nico casting" Nico and Bianca are half Japanese now sorry not sorry

"I hope the don't cast selina wrong" too late Selina is Burmese and Clarisse is Hispanic

"I'm so scared for the Jason casting" Percy's Thai now and Will is also Filipino

I can keep going

[imqueerandadeer]

we've GOTTA collectively start writing Will as freakier i'm sorry. he willingly chose to not only date a Hades kid but to date the CREEPIER Hades kid. the one he watched killed multiple people. the one who has a habit of stalking people. the one everyone is fully convinced is cursed and/or evil. Will CHOSE THAT LIFE. Will is INTO THAT.

if you're not writing Will as daydreaming about a Morticia & Gomez Addams romance where they flirt in the camp morgue and Nico is actively trying to sacrifice him to dark spirits while in actuality Nico the magic the gathering nerd is mildly concerned why Will is so enthusiastic about showing off his bones and specimens collection to Nico (not that he's grossed out, it's just weird for somebody who's not him to be doing that) then you are missing out!!!!! make Will weirder!!!!

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alr so I'm going to sleep away camp for 9 days starting today so I won't have access to electronics until the end so yeah, feel free to still tag me in stuff though. This is also gonna be my longest break from tumblr since last year when I also went to camp

[imqueerandadeer]

A rookie mistake is getting out of things by claiming a grandparent died. You can do that a maximum of four times per person, and that's assuming maximum social atomization, where nobody you know is likely to talk to each other and compare notes and realize that five of your grandmothers have died of carbon monoxide poisoning in the last three months. The winning play? Dead Uncles. You can have any number of dead uncles, because who knows how many siblings your parents have? You don't even need to keep the stories straight because if you slip up you can claim it was two separate uncle deaths. You can repeat names, even, one on each side of your family. Uncles often die in memorable ways so you can get flamboyant with the specifics. Motorcycle accidents, firework explosions, prostate cancer, rottweiler training mishap. It won't be that weird that you aren't particularly torn up about it. Maybe you didn't like your Uncle

[imqueerandadeer]

if you've seen me promote my newest fic to hell and back it's because I put three months of work into it and I'm anxious It's flopping and I'll be damned if it flops

Heres the link it's a timeloop AU, please read the tags

[imqueerandadeer]

Important question: how did you get your lil lad Ollie??

These are things I must know

My little brother KNOWS I love black cats and grapple with mental health and get lonely living alone. So when he happened across someone whose cat just had kittens, and there was only one teensy little black boy with his 3 big sisters, he sent me a picture.

I think the first thing I said was “i can’t”

followed almost immediately by “his name is Ollie I just ordered a name tag and a collar they will be here in two weeks”

I might still have the text on my other phone actually, I’ll see if I can find it

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Nicknames Will and Nico call each other

Will

Darling (with a heavy southern accent to make Nico blush)

Sweetheart (same southern accent)

I like the idea of him calling Nico bug short for lovebug or cuddle bug

Sunshine (for obvious reasons)

Honey or Hun (when he's trying to help him or calm him down)

Baby or babe (same as the last one)

Neeks

Shortie (just to annoy Nico)

Angel (because of his last name and the fact he seems like an angel)

Princess (when Nico get to princely ir he feels like teasing him)

And last but not least Doll because Nico reminds him of a doll a little creepy but pretty

I think he just likes to tease Nico but he uses a lot of pet names and just cheesey Names

Nicos turn

Amore (love)

Zucchero (italian for Sugar

Tesoro (Italian for treasure or sweet heart)

Babe

Bambola ( italian for Doll)

Miele (Italian for honey)

Nightlight

Carebear

Sunshine

Nicos pet names are more Italian and less cheesey but still super sweet except when he wants to get on wills nerves he'll call him the last few

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⋆｡°✩┊More webcore pngs <3

Source: Pintrest & Picsart

[imqueerandadeer]

Y'all don't know SHIT about doomed Yaoi