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imtootiredforthisnonsense · 2 years ago

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STARS FADING BUT I LINGER ON, DEAR

PAIRING. dan heng x gn!reader; dan feng x gn!reader

CONTENT WARNINGS. torture and imprisonment but nothing graphic or in detail!!

WORD COUNT. 5,332

SUMMARY. dan heng has been having dreams about you. they started off good—like a fairytale even. but soon he’s been getting the feeling something is wrong. you’re trapped and alone and can’t escape. dan heng wonders if his dreams are telling him something. and if they are…what is there for him to do?

SOF’S NOTE. *shoves this fic in everyone’s face* LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT MY BABY!! PLS LOVE IT AND TREASURE IT!!! CRADLE IT GENTLE IN UR HANDS!!!! okay on a more serious note ahdjkdkd thank u anon for this amazing request i absolutely adored writing this 🥺🫶 idk where all the flower symbolism and dreams came from bc ik its not the in req but yk what it spoke to me for this story so i rolled w it HDJSKD i hope y’all enjoy!! :>

“What are all those flowers for?” you giggled, watching as Dan Feng entered the room with a cart full of peonies in tow.

It looked a little ridiculous; the elegant and renowned Imbibitor Lunae wheeling around an absurd amount of white, pink, and red flowers. But Dan Feng never cared about pretenses when he was with you. He always felt comfortable enough to be himself, no matter how ridiculous it appeared.

As he approached, he held a small, blooming red peony out between his fingertips. “They’re for you, naturally.”

He brushed your hair aside and gently tucked the stem of the flower behind your ear, admiring how the deep red of the flower complimented your complexion.

“Beautiful.”

You looked down at your feet with a small chuckle before meeting his gaze again. “Thank you. You’re beautiful as well.”

“Thank you, my love,” said Dan Feng, his hand resting on your waist as he planted a kiss on your forehead. “Do you like the flowers?”

You nodded, feeling the soft petals of the flower in your hair between your fingers as you stared at the bundles of peonies in the cart he brought in. Dan Feng walked over when he saw you staring and led you to each section of colors.

“These are pink—to show my affection for you.” He picked a flower and kissed the petals before bringing it to your mouth to reciprocate. You obliged with a giggle and he smiled and hid the scandalous flower in his sleeves. “These are white peonies, to let you know I’m always thinking of you.”

You placed your hand on his chest, feeling the careful embroidery on the silken fabrics. “You’re always on my mind, too.”

“Good,” he jested. “As I should be.”

Without warning, he brought your body flush against his chest and captured your mouth with his own, softly tugging at your lower lip. You chased after his touch to give him a kiss of your own, but he soon pulled away with a teasing grin on his face.

You pouted. “Hey!”

“Patience, beloved,” said Dan Feng. “I still haven’t gotten to the last color.”

“Oh, my sincere apologies,” you said sarcastically, knowing he was the very reason he hadn’t finished his own speech. “Please, carry on.”

“Since you asked nicely.” He cupped your face and stroked the petals on the flower behind your ear. The sensation of his light fingers brushing against the soft flower petals tickled the skin around your ear and you felt your breath catch in your throat. “This flower is a red peony, to symbolize just how passionate I am for you.” Dan Heng stared into your eyes before he spoke. “I hope you know how much I love you, truly.”

“I know,” you said, gaze not once meeting his. Your stomach tightened and your heart started beating faster as you placed his warm hand on your chest. “I love you, Dan Feng. Every part of my being is yours.”

“And mine, yours.”

Dan Feng took your hand in his, leading you into your bed chambers. You had never felt more loved and wanted than in this moment. But when you entered the room and looked up, the hand you were holding was no longer Dan Feng’s.

Instead, your hand was clutching an iron bar instead of your lover’s hand, shackled in chains on your wrists and ankles. Dan Feng was gone and you were stuck in here for eternity.

You cried out, body racking with helpless sobs. Every fiber of your being—mind, body, spirit—missed him so much. The worst part wasn’t the torture, the solitary confinement, the lack of access to basic human needs.

No, that was nothing.

Nothing compared to knowing you would never see Dan Feng again.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

Dan Heng woke with a start, hair plastered to us forehead with sweat. His pillow and blanket were both strewn across the floor of the Archives and he found himself on his bed alone, a heavy pounding coming from the place where his heart should be. His heart hurt so much he wondered if it was even his.

He squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to take a deep breath to calm himself down.

That was the third time this week Dan Heng had a dream like that.

Before, it wasn’t terribly uncommon for him to dream about your experiences with his past reincarnation. Dan Heng thought it was strange at first— Why is he dreaming of your memories rather than Dan Feng’s? But the Archives had no answer, so he was forced to accept the fact with mild curiosity as he grew accustomed to the untraditional visions that manifested as dreams that he has been having.

Still, the strange part wasn’t that he had dreams of you, the strange part was that recently, since the Astral Express left Luofu, Dan Heng has been getting bad dreams of you. Or, to be precise, he’s been experiencing bad memories you have gone through.

Dan Heng thought the torture was the worst of it. As cold blades cut against your warm skin, Dan Heng felt each push. Each puncture. Each drop of blood they drew from your veins. He woke up constantly in pain, checking his own body to be sure it wasn’t happening to him.

But he learned a new form of torture that came from the heart. The solitude and loneliness. The knowledge that the one you loved most has perished— Was forced to reincarnate and never see you again.

The pain on his body was temporary. But Dan Heng felt the ache in your soul every minute of every day.

He just doubted there was anything he could do to stop it.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“Y/N,” came a quiet voice from outside the cell. “I came to check on you again.”

You looked up from your thin futon to meet Jing Yuan’s remorseful eyes. Your living conditions have been upgraded from those you’ve experienced for decades now. No longer were you in chains— You had access to a bath, and they even offered you books and enough food to sustain you. All while confined in a cell, of course.

Perhaps they no longer viewed you as a threat. Not that they should have ever viewed you as such in the first place. You didn’t understand why you were punished solely for being Dan Feng’s lover. You weren’t a warrior. You didn’t hold any position of power. You were a scholar and lover of books and plants. But you’re an accomplice, the Preceptors said as they mercilessly chained you up.

If you weren’t knocked into unconsciousness moments after, you would’ve spit at their faces as they took you away.

“Y/N…”

You snapped out of your thoughts, dragging your gaze to the man in front of your cell. Placing your book to the side, you smiled up at Jing Yuan. “Sorry about that. I was a little out of it there.”

Jing Yuan frowned and your heart moved, feeling the depth of his sadness. “No need to apologize. Tell me, how have you been?”

“Good, I have to say,” you said, sitting up straight on your bed. “I’m almost finished with the book you gave me last time.”

He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m glad.”

“Is something the matter?” you asked as you stood and walked over to him, offering a hand of comfort through the iron bars.

Jing Yuan took it, giving you a gentle squeeze before dropped your hand. The rush of human contact, despite how brief it was, coursed through you. It’s been so long since you felt the touch of another person.

“Dan Heng and his friends left the Xianzhou Luofu,” he said solemnly.

Your eyes shut as you let your forehead press against the cool metal of your cell. A tear fell down your cheek but a smile remained on your face. “That’s… That is good. He should be free from this place. Dan Heng is happiest that way, correct?”

“That is how it seems,” Jing Yuan sighed. He held back his words for a moment, hesitant. But as he looked at you, he could not longer keep it in. “Do you still think it was the right decision to not inform Dan Heng that you are here?”

You let out a quiet laugh, taking a seat on the floor and Jing Yuan soon followed suit. “What would he do with that information? What if he felt guilty—? That could hold him back.”

“Are you certain that is a choice for you to make?”

Sighing, you shook your head. It wasn’t your choice to make; it was Dan Heng’s. You knew that deep down inside. But what could you do when you were aware of Dan Heng’s aversion to his past—to any potential connection to Dan Feng? And thus, any connection to you?

You felt it, you dreamed about it. Dan Heng’s hatred for his past reincarnation. You mourned for them. Both Dan Feng and Dan Heng. For the former, you knew it must be hard having no connection to your reincarnation. Was his soul no longer tethered to this world? Perhaps he felt lost, even in the afterlife. For the latter, you did not blame any resentment that came from him. You knew all too well that being judged and punished based off the actions of another person was unjust. You wouldn’t wish it upon anybody.

And so, it made sense to you that Dan Heng wanted to accept his past for what it was, and then be free from it. You did not want to interfere with that. Especially not when he was so close to healing and making a good, happy life for himself.

And now, after Jing Yuan told you Dan Heng and his friends finished their adventures in the Xianzhou Luofu, excited to take on the rest of the galaxies, you thought that maybe you made the right choice. You would be happy enough here, alone in this prison, if you knew your beloved was free.

It was a decision you made yourself, for Dan Heng.

And it was one you hoped you wouldn’t regret.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“Foolish! No!” Dan Heng thrashed in his sleep, wanting to reach out and shake you to your senses. He’s had terrible dream after terrible dream, but this was one he couldn’t simply let go of.

This one seemed more recent than any of the others. That was not a dream of a distant memory from long ago— No, the Astral Express that Jing Yuan spoke of in Dan Heng’s dream had only departed Xianzhou Luofu a few days ago now. That meant you were there, locked up right under his nose, for the entirety of his stay at the Luofu. And no one told him a thing.

Dan Heng had to control his fury. He felt hurt and betrayed, despite not having a true, personal connection with you himself. He wasn’t Dan Feng and, deep down, he recognized he didn’t have a claim to your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. But the pain he felt from knowing you were there, and that maybe, just maybe, he could’ve done something to help you sooner, was something Dan Heng couldn’t shake.

He knew what he had to do.

Perhaps it was bold, impulsive, and maybe dismissive of their current plans, but he had to do it. Dan Heng took a deep breath, not waiting for the night to turn into day. He was going to ask Pom-Pom to please turn this damn train around.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“Where are they?”

Much to no one’s surprise, Jing Yuan seemed to know exactly what Dan Heng was talking about. What else could be important enough for Dan Heng to barge into the Seat of Divine Foresight without a word of warning?

Jing Yuan quickly excused the meeting he was holding, biding a quick apology and saying they would reconvene shortly. Despite the newfound privacy, he still didn’t reveal anything to Dan Heng.

“Well, good afternoon to you as well, Dan Heng—”

“Stop. There’s no time for formalities right now.” Dan Heng folded his arms, hands clutched into tight fists by his sides. “Where are the Preceptors keeping them? And why the hell haven’t you done anything to help Y/N?”

With a heavy sigh, Jing Yuan took a seat in his chair, gesturing Dan Heng to sit across from him. A gesture Dan Heng pointedly ignored. He wasn’t here to sit down and take his time. He wanted to know where you were now so he could get you out of there. The torture, the poor treatment, the punishment for something you didn’t do... It wasn’t fair. He could hardly put up with it in his dreams. He wondered how it was possible for you to even be surviving all this time.

“It may surprise to you here,” Jing Yuan stated, voice low, “but as much influence I have over Xianzhou, the Preceptors unfortunately remain untouched by that.”

Dan Heng’s grip loosened, momentarily feeling guilty for assuming Jing Yuan did not try to help you in any way. From what his dreams could see, Jing Yuan was one of the only people who frequently visited you— Which was already more than he could say for himself.

His face hardened but he relented. “I’m sorry for suggesting such a thing.”

Jing Yuan gave him a half-smile through hooded eyes. “If you hold any recollection of Dan Feng’s time with them, I don’t blame you for having such a severe reaction. Y/N was—is…remarkable.”

“I shouldn’t know that myself,” said Dan Heng quietly. “Yet somehow, I know you’re right.”

He looked at the ground solemnly, suddenly frightened that he wouldn’t be able to do anything to help you after all. If the Cloud Knight General Jing Yuan couldn’t influence the Preceptors, what could he do?

He shook the negative thoughts out of his head. Sure, Dan Heng wasn’t Jing Yuan, but he was the reincarnation of Dan Feng, the previous High Elder and Imbibitor Lunae. Dan Heng was the friend and ally of current High Elder Bailu. Dan Heng had the General backing him with a token of alliance. And Dan Heng would stop at nothing to free you from your shackles.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

The process was more painstaking than Dan Heng had originally thought. After informing Jing Yuan of his plan to speak to Bailu, Dan Heng soon realized that conversing with her would be the easiest part.

The Dragon Lady was kind and had a good heart. She cared for other people and didn’t want to see anyone in pain. The difficult part came from feeling the lack of respect the Preceptors had for her. They treated her as more of a child than a High Elder, even withholding her title of Imbibitor Lunae until they deemed she was “of age.” But Dan Heng thought she had more sense and knowledge than all of the Preceptors combined.

It took negotiations, possible acts of coercion that broke many Vidyadhara laws, and even the threat of Dan Heng to follow in his past life’s footsteps and destroy the seal at Scalegorge Waterscape and many more places… But Dan Heng, along with the assistance and backing of Bailu and Jing Yuan, finally got the Preceptors to agree to release you without forcing a reincarnation.

You had suffered decades for a crime you had no hand in committing. The Preceptors were simply scared your love for Dan Feng would influence you to be a main headpiece in carrying out the rebellion against the Xianzhou Luofu—hence why those in charge had originally agreed to keep you here. But Jing Yuan was the residing general now, and with his army at his side, he was able to voice that he no longer viewed imprisonment on this land to be befitting of you as a solid conclusion. Bailu stated, as a complete bluff that anyone could have seen right through, that if you were not released immediately and given the opportunity to be reconnected with Dan Heng, she would no longer be as willing to repair any seals, should they be harmed in the future.

Somehow, instead of all three of them getting locked up for treason or whatever Vidyadhara laws they horribly crossed, they managed to succeed in their goal of winning your freedom. The Preceptors wrote in their official records the release date of prisoner Y/N and agreed to escort one of them to your cell.

Jing Yuan and Bailu, of course, both opted for Dan Heng to be the person who sees you first. But only after making him promise they would get to see you once you settled into your new life.

Dan Heng smiled, thanking them for their part in this operation. And when night came, he spoke his vow to you under the endless stars.

He would see you soon. And this time, he would never let anything bad happen to you again.

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

“More peonies?” you asked with a laugh, staring in awe at the field of flowers that were newly planted on the grounds of your estate. The bright colors of the petals flushed against the dark green of the leaves lined the gardens of your grand quarters.

Dan Feng nodded, the trimmings on his sleeves detailed with the faint embroidery of petals dancing around the wind. Your heart warmed when you saw it. It was fitting for him, such a beautiful and caring soul.

“I had them planted for you,” he said, gesturing at the arrangement around you. He smiled, his eyes glinting. “Because one cartful just wasn’t enough.”

You shook your head as you went around the rows of peonies, touching the petals in awe of the spring bloom in the air. The smell was sweet and the wind was cool, providing the right amount of breeze to offset the heat of the sun. First, you went to the patch of white peonies, then pink, then red. Then, you noticed a shade Dan Feng hadn’t given to you before.

“Yellow peonies?” you said curiously, Dan Feng following along as you explored the gardens fit for royalty. Because, he had said before, to him, you were.

“Indeed.” He plucked one from the bush, careful not to ruin the stem of the plant itself. Slowly, he brought it up against the light in the sky. “Yellow. As radiant as the sun.”

You stared up, shading your eyes as to not get blinded by the brightness. “It shines almost as brightly as you.”

Dan Feng made a noise of amusement at your words. “I should be the one saying that to you.”

“Perhaps you should speak faster,” you teased.

You walked over to him, placing your hand in his and leading him to a field of grass. When you got to an area you liked, you sat down on the floor, gesturing for him to follow suit. Dan Feng brushed at the fabric of his clothes once before happily obliging. As you sat there, you looked over at Dan Feng and studied the look of serenity on his face. His expression was calm, his eyes were soft and the corners of his mouth tilted ever so slightly into a smile. In the hand that was not holding yours, he held the yellow peony still in hand.

“Does it symbolize anything? Like the others?”

He nodded. “Yellow peonies are rare to come by. Only the most renowned of breeders can craft one to the perfect shade.”

At his words, you looked back at the abundant row of yellow peonies dressing your land. You wondered how much effort he went through in searching for the perfect shade to gift you.

“They’re to symbolize my wishes for you,” stated Dan Feng, toying with the edge of a petal with his thumb. “I wish to bestow upon you luck and prosperity, for the rest of your life.”

“I think I’ve used all the luck I possibly could, finding someone like you,” you giggled, bumping your shoulder against his before leaning your head on it. Dan Feng breathed deeply, resting his head on top of yours. “And the only prosperity I wish for is to be prosperous in love. With you.”

He laughed, a deep rumble vibrating against your body. “So, all your wishes of luck and prosperity have already come true? What need was there for me to gift you these flowers, then?”

You held your palm out, waiting for Dan Feng to place the yellow peony at its center. He gently laid it there, letting his fingers linger against your skin.

“I’m glad you gifted me these,” you reassured him. “Now, when I walk by, they will always serve as a reminder of the radiant peony right in front of me.”

˖⁺‧₊˚❀˚₊‧⁺˖

The next morning, Dan Heng entered the dark corridor with a flower tucked into a hidden pocket of his outer garments.

While he was nervous about how you might react to him going against your wishes that you expressed to Jing Yuan, his determination to assure your freedom was more than enough to counteract that. If Dan Heng truly wanted to be freed of his past and atone for the wrongdoings of Dan Feng, he would need to make sure no one else was being punished for his actions.

He had helped repair the Ambrosial Arbor’s seal at Scalegeorge Waterscape, to atone for Dan Feng’s acts against the current High Elder and all of the Luofu Vidyadhara. Now, he would release you from decades of unjust punishment you suffered simply for being associated with him.

“Y/N, you have a visitor,” one of the Preceptors said dryly, unlocking a cell. The hooded man could hardly hide the look of distaste on his face a before he rolled his eyes and walked away. “I’m sure you two must have plenty to catch up on. Leave here quickly before we change our minds.”

Dan Heng peered into the entrance, his gaze meeting your confused and alarmed face in an instant.

You looked between Dan Heng and the open cell, not a Preceptor in sight. “Is this a test?”

He shook his head, showing you the official pardon signed by Bailu, Jing Yuan, and a representative of the Preceptors. You held the document in your hands, reading its contents and feeling the seal to believe it’s legitimacy, before giving it back to him. He felt your hands tremble as you made brief contact with his and he was overcome with the urge to comfort you.

“This isn’t a test,” he promised, looking into your eyes in hopes you would see the truth in them. “You really are free from here.”

You let out an amused noise of disbelief, shaking your head. “Oh, Dan Heng… What did you do?”

He startled at the sound of his name coming from your lips. He was so accustomed to you only repeating Dan Feng over and over in his dreams that this felt almost refreshing.

“Rather, what did Jing Yuan do?” you corrected, laughing quietly as you stood up from your seated position. Your robes, once beautifully crafted, were worn and tattered. But the light in your eyes never waned. “I told him not to tell you.”

“He didn’t,” said Dan Heng. He considered his statement before adding, “I suppose eventually he did confirm it, but I was the one who confronted him about it.”

You raised a curious brow. “And how, pray tell, did you know about this…situation?”

“From my dreams.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. For once, you were speechless.

“I know it’s more normal to have dreams about your past reincarnation,” he stated, neatly folding the document in his hands before sliding it away into his pocket. “But, while I occasionally had dreams of Dan Feng’s life—bad ones normally, might I add—it’s been more common to have dreams of you.”

With a slow and shaky breath, you shut your eyes to think. “You’d had dreams of Dan Feng’s memories of me, do you mean?”

He shook his head. “No. They’re dreams of your memories. Some included your moments with Dan Feng from long ago, yes. Others were you in this prison. A recent one was of Jing Yuan visiting you and in it you said not to tell me about this.”

You chuckled helplessly. “What good did that do, after all?”

“Why didn’t you want me to know? Why didn’t you want me to help you?”

“It wasn’t that!” you protested, your eyes telling stories your words could not keep up with. You sighed. “Okay, it was.”

Dan Heng let out a sharp breath.

“However, it’s not for the reasons you might be thinking,” you corrected, arms folded over your chest. “I’ve come to accept my life being imprisoned here. It’s given me a lot of time to think and reflect. And, similar to you, I’ve occasionally had dreams of you, Dan Heng.”

He tilted his head to the side.

“They weren’t long nor were they frequent. But what I have gathered from them, scarce as they were, is you resent Dan Feng. You don’t want any ties to your past. And you’ve accomplished so much growth and closure, finally freeing yourself from all that burdened you. What good would it be to drag you back here and make you relive this?”

“You sound ridiculous.”

His words were harsh and it stopped you right in your tracks. You stared at him, eyes wide as they peered into his, but he couldn’t let that stop the words of logic from coming out of his mouth.

“You’re not a saint nor are you a martyr. You don’t have to try to be one. You’re a person, and for that you should be free in your own right. You’re a Vidyadhara, trapped and punished for actions that were not your own. I understand what you’ve been through— I’ve been there, too.” Dan Heng held his hand out to you from outside your prison cell, waiting for you to walk out and accept it. “Furthermore, you are a kind and loving soul, and you don’t deserve to spend a single moment in this place. Please, accept my help.”

Your cheeks were wet as you nodded your head. Slowly, you placed your cold, shaky hand in his. He felt your cool skin against his warm one and he enveloped your hands gently, brushing your knuckles with his thumb to share the heat in his body.

“I’ve wanted to get out of here so badly,” you admitted through silent tears. “I hated being confined and alone. I felt helpless. Pathetic.” He watched with a heavy heart as you wiped your own tears away. Could he reach out and do it for you instead? He chastised himself. As much as he wanted to, he had no right. “But you suffered so much in your past life—in this life even. I didn’t want to cause you any more pain.”

Dan Heng shook his head. “What brings me the most pain is knowing you were suffering for so long, and I didn’t help you.”

“How could you help when you didn’t know?” you reasoned with a sad smile. “I’m sorry for making Jing Yuan promise to never let you know.”

His eyes squeezed shut as a sharp pang ran through his heart. “Please. Please promise me you won’t do something like that again. If you need me, I want to be there for you. Always.”

You gaze widened at his words before you recollected yourself.

Dan Heng winced as he understood what he said. His mind and soul were confused. He knew he wasn’t Dan Feng, that this was the first moment he has ever had with you. But why does he feel like he’s known you forever?

After a few moments of silence, as if you were giving him time to amend what he said, you finally spoke. “Okay. I promise.”

He felt every muscle in his body relax at those words. He knew the promise you spoke was true to your heart. Dan Heng believed it with all his being and he let that console him.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

With one of your hands still in his, he slowly led you out of the corridor and up the stairs, away from your cold and dark prison.

“What are you going to do now that you’re free?” Dan Heng asked, hating himself for hoping your future plans would somehow include keeping in touch with him. “Will you…stay on the Luofu?”

Your body tensed as a shiver went down your spine. You shook your head fervently as your expression twisted into one of grief. Dan Heng’s heart stirred at the sight. He knew that feeling all too well, and it pained him knowing you had similar conflicts to go through. “No, that’s the last thing I want to do. I won’t stay here. At least not now.”

“I understand.”

You gave him a weak, but hopeful smile as he squeezed your hand softly.

“And you?” you wondered, looking at him with thoughtful and eyes as you awaited his response.

“I’m going to the Astral Express to continue on with our adventures,” he said with his lips upturned. “It’s a great place to call home, especially when you’ve lost the only place you had once called home.” He stared at you for a moment. “If you would like to join us—join me—I think you would very much enjoy it.”

You teared up at his offer. “Can you really just invite people like that?”

Dan Heng briefly thought of the girl they picked us as an icicle and the boy who they found with no knowledge of the past. He considered your situation. “Yes, we really can.”

The sunlight from outside finally started shining through the walkway, signaling that you were almost out as a freed person.

“Also,” he said, before he could forget, “I, myself, would want you to come join our crew, even if it’s only for a little while. You can stay for as long as you want, and leave whenever you want as well.”

Your ears perked up at that. “I like the sound of that. If the Astral Express will have me, then I would love to join.”

Dan Heng smiled as he patted the top of your head. Your body relaxed at his touch as you leaned into him, and he continued to hold onto you as you approached the exit. “No one will threaten your freedom ever again. That is my oath to you.”

You started at him, brows furrowed in determination. “And I vow the same to you. These new beginnings will bring only freedom and prosperity.”

At that word, Dan Heng suddenly remembered the small gift he brought for you. He blushed as he felt the soft petals of the peony in his large pocket.

“I have something for you,” he said, slowly stopping in his tracks. He turned towards you and you followed suit, tilting your head to the side in question. “It’s nothing big. But it’s a token. A reminder.”

He held out the peony in one hand, watching as your eyes lit up at the sight of it. Your mouth widened as you let out a noise of laughter, accepting his gift and holding it close to your chest.

“Thank you, Dan Heng,” you said, tears of happiness filling your eyes. “I love it.”

It wasn’t yellow— He wasn’t the bright and radiant Dan Feng you knew and loved. It wasn’t red or pink, even. While he felt traces of love and attraction for you from his past memories, he knew in his heart that wasn’t really him developing those feelings for you.

Instead, it was a white peony.

You were always in his thoughts. It was both a blank slate, and a gentle reminder. He would never forget you, and as he got to experience life with you, who knew what dashes of color would be mixed in next with this pearly white.

#i have been WANTING THIS FOR SO LONG YES THANK YOU MWAH BEAUTIFUL

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imtootiredforthisnonsense · 2 years ago

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Mr baptiste potionomics i am in love with you

#me fr #baptiste potionomics #give me one (1) chance

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imtootiredforthisnonsense · 2 years ago

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as you can see watching OHSHC as a kid has done some irreversible damage to me bonus doodle by my bf inspired by our convo while i was drawing :3

Image description under the cut

[ID: A fully shaded halfbody digital drawing of Baptiste and Sylvia from Potionomics embracing lovingly looking into each other's eyes. They're both blushing and smiling as they do so. Sylvia is a light skinned woman with green eyes and a small upturned nose. Her medium length vibrant red hair is tied into a high ponytail. She is dressed in her usual work attire, which includes a white sleeveless shirt with yellow hemming and red buttons, a brown waist corset overlaid on top, a pair of brown gloves and some accessories like a coin pouch attached to her belt and a laced bracelet on her bicep. She's holding her hands on Baptiste's hips. Baptiste is a tall man with a slightly more tan skintone. He's about a head taller than Sylvia. His hair is dark blue, and his eyes are a similar but lighter shade of blue. He has slightly Asian facial features, most notably monolid eyes, but his nose is fairly large and straight. He's dressed in a dark purple shirt with a gold hem and linked golden buttons. Over that, he's wearing a white sleeveless coat with dark teal lapels. He has a wide burgundy belt on his waist that is adorned with a bronze symbol of the Hero Guild on the buckle. His arms are resting on Sylvia's shoulders, with his palms loosely hanging behind her back. There's a pink sparkly background behind them. The image is framed by large moist roses covered in dew, reminiscent of the imagery present in Ouran High School Host Club.

The bonus is a digital colored sketch of Owl and Sylvia from Potionomics. The background is beige, and there's a brown shop counter. Sylvia stands behind the counter while Owl is standing on the countertop. Owl is a large brown and white owl with yellow eyes. The feathers on his face are forming a shape resembling bushy eyebrows and curled up moustache. He's wearing a crystal tied to a string as a necklace and a witch hat with holes made for his feather eyebrows. He's gesturing with his wings at Sylvia and saying "Sylvia why do you call the guildmaster babygirl?". Sylvia is looking very uncomfortable and gripping her arm with the other one. She's blushing and there are a few beads of sweat forming on her face. She's looking in the opposite direction from Owl and saying "let's stop talking for a while".] Image description written by @desersko

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imtootiredforthisnonsense · 2 years ago

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Baptiste’s POV every time I enter the guildhall

#Baptiste my beloved

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imtootiredforthisnonsense · 2 years ago

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My other Baxter shitposts:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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imtootiredforthisnonsense · 2 years ago

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Baxter after being forced to wear khaki

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imtootiredforthisnonsense · 2 years ago

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#baxter my beloved

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imtootiredforthisnonsense · 2 years ago

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"allow me to comfort you?"

zhongli x gn!reader

genre: fluff/reverse comfort

word count: 1.1k

tags: zhongli is SO SAD. IM SORRY. uhhhhh cuddles, lots of em, kith kith, nightmares, zhongli is dragon boi

tw/cw: ig zhongli has some sort of what i guess could be called anxiety but that's kinda it

a/n: decided to double post this week because i have exams and this is my way to destress, enjoy :)

ps... this is not very well proofread

opening your eyes in the morning is normally quite a peaceful feeling, especially when your boyfriend is with you, as he would normally have his arms wrapped around you, lovingly awakening you from your slumber. however, today seemed different, or rather, tonight.

you were awakened to the feeling of movement, and a rather dragonic looking man stirring next to you in bed.

was he having a dream? a bad one? you could’ve sworn this was the first time this had happened, and you weren’t sure what to do.

after a moment, you sat up, and decided to awaken him, as you could see the golden patterns on his arms glowing every few seconds, which after knowing him for a while, you came to figure meant he was in some sort of distress.

you grabbed his arm and started to move your hand up and down gently, as to not startle the man too much. some people might think its a risk not worth taking, to awaken a literal sleeping dragon, and even you knew the man had the potential to hurt you, but he never would. you trusted him, more than anything.

after turning on the lamp at the bedside, you began making more effort to awaken the man.

“zhong. my love, wake up”

after about thirty seconds of attempting to awaken him, the man suddenly sprung upwards, breathing heavily, and catching hold of his surroundings. he scanned around him, before grabbing onto your hand and looking down, closing his eyes.

shortly after you began to hear gentle sobs from the man. surely this can't be right. rex lapis, crying…?

“hey, what happened? you okay?”

you quickly realised however, that these questions were pointless, and that he was not going to respond. instead, you opted for pulling him closer to you, wrapping one of your arms around his broad shoulders, and holding his hand with the other, gently stroking his thumb.

his gentle sobs continued for a few minutes, before you moved your hand from his and used it to pull his head to your chest, where you presumed he could perhaps find some solace as you ran your fingers through his hair.

when his sobs finally slowed down, it took him a moment to pipe up.

“surely this position is uncomfortable for you, aren’t my horns hurting you, or digging into you somewhere? i can make them g-”

“shh, i’m okay. promise.”

“v-very well”

after another moment of silence, he spoke again…

“i am... sorry for awakening you. i cannot remember the last time this happened, but it was truly long ago”

“my love, you have nothing to apologise for. do you want to talk about it?”

“i suppose it would be improper of me not to offer up an explanation after so crudely awakening you like this… i dreamt that… they left me”

“they left you…? who?”

“the liyuean people. i dreamt that they abandoned everything here, that their archon was no longer worthy and-”

was he crying? again?

“hey, you’re okay. it was only a dream”

“i’m sorry, i do not have these experiences often, which means that they only feel more real to me”

you wipe the tears from beneath his eyes, and lean up to place a gentle kiss to the top of his forehead.

it was still an odd sight to see zhongli crying.

"i know, darling, i know”

“may i talk to you about something? If you wouldn’t mind lending an ear?”

“that's exactly what i'm here for, ‘li��

“very well. truthfully i sometimes feel as though a lot of my person is a façade. of course i am required to believe that i am powerful, otherwise i would not hold my position amongst the seven, but honestly i sometimes feel that i am not enough for the people here in liyue. i have given them everything i have, but what if that is not enough? what if one day, liyue, rex lapis, morax and zhongli are all left in the dust. what if it is all forgotten? if my efforts are put to waste?”

“zhong. when was the last time you interacted with a liyuean? they all know that you care for them more than anything, do not let your own self doubt get in the way of that, or you will become blinded by your insecurities. you are doing a good job, take it slowly. after all, fate awaits us all, and there is very little that can be done about it. i promise you, the people of liyue love you. i love you”

“i love you as well, dear. sometimes i just worry.”

“i know. i cannot even begin to imagine the amount of pressure you are under.”

you used your hand to tilt his face towards yours, before easing his worries with a kiss.

“shall we lay down dear? i still feel apologetic for waking you up”

“sure, but just this once, allow me to comfort you?”

“very well”

you moved to lie flat on your back, as zhongli moved himself closer to you, resting his head upon your chest.

“is this okay?”

he asked, wondering if the position was comfortable for you. after all the man did have literal horns poking out of his head.

“mhm! can i play with your hair?”

“please, do. that sounds ever so pleasant at this moment in time.”

and so you moved your fingers to entangle in his hair, gently massaging his scalp as he let out a large yawn, wrapping himself tighter around you.

“i love you, y/n”

“love you too, ‘li”

after a few moments of pleasant silence, you piped up again, with intentions to ask the man if he had calmed down any.

“zhong?”

“zhong~?”

ah. he was sleeping.

“sleep well, prince”

and all of a sudden, began a low, rumbling, purring noise, from somewhere in the mans chest. an ability you were completely unaware he had, but for some reason the sound soothed you, and let you know he was calm, and happy in your presence.

you placed a gentle kiss to his head once again, before drifting off into your own slumber.

you awakened to the feeling of gentle kisses being placed upon your shoulder, by none other than zhongli himself, who was obviously very impatiently waiting for you to wake up.

“ah, you're awake. good morning, dear”

“mmm, morning zhong”

“did you rest well?”

“i did. you?”

“me too”

“why of course, i'm not sure why i asked”

“what is that supposed to mean…?”

“you started purring in your sleep last night”

“i did WHAT?!"

#zhongli my beloved

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imtootiredforthisnonsense · 2 years ago

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Chronically

Spat this out in half an hour but I wanted the soft shit because being a chronic migraine sufferer myself (the joys of one eye doing the job of 2 ig) sometimes all u want is some comfort and people who understand.

Zhongli x Reader

sfw, comfort, fluff, implied age gap, Zhongli being a good boyfriend thats it thats the fic, modern setting.

When you had first started dating, the one thing that hung onto the back of your mind was how he would handle the migraines.

Trying to explain to previous partners that these were more than just common stock-standard headaches was like trying to pull teeth. You expected Zhongli to be no different, despite him having a good fifteen years on you, and your previous partners.

Oh how wrong you were.

The first time you’d woken up with that familiar haze around the edges of your vision, the stiffness in your neck and the thudding behind your eyes, you had been so afraid. Blame previous partners and flings, trying to call a bluff that wasn’t. Blame them calling you loudly, ripping open the blinds to let natural light in, of just telling you that you needed some ibuprofen and more water and you’d be fine because they just didn't understand.

For you, Migraines were an all-day thing…sometimes even multiple days.

Multiple days of pain, light sensitivity, nausea and misery.

When you text Zhongli that morning that you probably wouldn’t be able to meet up today because of the aforementioned migraine, you expected that to be that.

You’re not expecting your phone to buzz when he got off of work, informing you that he was outside, but didn’t want to knock. That alone almost made you cry as you stumble towards the door.

You can't help but feel a little self conscious, clad in nothing but pyjamas that desperately needed a wash, and sunglasses so you could at least move around without your eyes feeling like they’re about to fall out of your skull.

And yet there Zhongli is, handsome and put together as ever when you open the door for him, his gaze is soft, and concerned as he quietly steps in, shutting the door in near silence before he turns to press a gentle kiss to your temple. He smells of sandalwood and tea, amplified by your over-sensitive senses today.

“Back to bed with you, love. Come now.” he coos, walking you back to your room like a mother hen. He must have noted you hadn’t really left your room that day, as he breaks away to close all the curtains and blinds, dimming the light and turning on the air-conditioning…how sweet of him.

Only when you’re situated back in bed does he set his work-bag on the floor and pull a few items from it.

“I was unsure what to get you but…I hope these help? The lady at the pharmacy was very helpful.”

Pain medication, chocolate, and a pack of one-time use ice-packs…

“Ah- D-did I do something wrong?” he asks when you sniffle and break into tears. “I can run out and get something else if you need it-”

“N-no no it’s not that li…” you sob, feeling dumb and emotional “s’just that…no one has ever really done this…”

At that, his face hardens, lips pressing into a thin line as anger flashes across his face.

“You are unwell… I could never just…leave you like this..come now, lie back…”

You continue to sob like an idiot, between sips of water as you get some pain meds into you, through him gently massaging at your shoulders and neck, easing some of the tension off, and even through a few nibbles of chocolate that only make you realise that you haven’t eaten anything substantial at all that day.

“No need to fret, darling. I’ll make us some dinner, you just do whatever you need, okay?” the entire time, he’s only spoken in hushed tones, hyper-aware of his volume, and the volume of other items around him, leaving the room to find the scissors to cut open the box of ice packs opposed to tearing them open right there.

For once in your life you feel heard.

Under his attentive care, you even manage to doze while he makes dinner. His bamboo shoot soup was always a favourite, especially now when you didn’t want to work too hard at getting nutrients into your body. You wake with his fingers gently stroking over your hair, to a bowl of soup on the bedside table and a soothing tea, brewed and stored in a travel mug to keep it warmer for longer.

Hell, he’s not even willing to sit on the bed, lest his extra weight jostle you too much, opting to sit on the floor beside your bed with a warm smile that made everything feel just that little bit more ok.

He asks if you’d like him to spend the night and you hesitate. Knowing the last few times you’d had a partner with you on what was most definitely a longer-form bout. He must have seen the trepidation in your eyes because he gently kisses your knuckles and reiterates that it’s up to you.

When you explain to him, slurry and tired, why you’re worried, that look of fury is back, disbelief written across his features.

“But these are not your fault…” he murmurs, you sniffle and nod.

Finally, someone who understood.

You see him pull out his phone, covering the screen with his gloved hand for a moment as he turns the brightness down before he types something out.

“W-watcha doin…?” you ask, taking a sip of the tea he’d made, the herbal blend feels like a warm wave of comfort that helps relax your shoulders.

“Texting Hu Tao, I’m taking tomorrow off to keep an eye on you.” he responds simply.

“Oh li…you don’t have to take work off for me-”

“I want to.” he responds, looking up to you with a smile that makes your heart flutter “I don’t think I could even work comfortably knowing you’re laying here in misery… besides, even the director seemed concerned when I told her you were I’ll today.”

Case in point, not three seconds later, his phone buzzes and he chuckles.

“She says it’s fine, and to get well soon.”

“Awwh…she’s such a sweetie.” you croon, knowing your boyfriends general faux annoyance at his boss, who was atleast a decade younger than him.

“She can be at times I suppose.” he sighs, finally rising from the floor. “So, my offer still stands…did you wish for me to stay? Or I can come back in the morning…”

You blink slowly up at him and smile, you’re sure you must look dopey and zooted to crap, but that warm affectionate look on his face never fades.

“There’sm big t-shirts in my wardrobe that should fit you…” you mumble, cheeks flushing as you’re treated to the sight of Zhongli undressing most of his top layers. Coat, vest and gloves all being neatly folded and placed into his bag before he vanishes into the other room, returning in- ah, he’d even managed to find a pair of pyjama pants that weren’t filthy and fit him, a double win.

Your night is spent in silence, you simply resting against his broad, warm chest, listening to his gentle heartbeat and the occasional turning of a page as he reads. He doesn't hesitate or question when you whine up at him, quietly whimpering about wanting back rubs, and you fade off for the night with a warm hand rubbing soothing circles up and down your spine.

–

“My love…it’s time to wake up..” a gentle crooning slowly pulls you back from slumber. As your body wakes, you can still feel the residual thudding in your temples, as expected, but not nearly as bad as it could be. You slowly crack an eye to see what the world is looking like…and it’s looking exceptionally dark.

A blanket, you realise, has been draped over your curtains, blocking out whatever sunlight they could not and descending your bedroom into cool darkness.

A smell next, warm and savoury wafting to your nose as your eyes finally focus on your boyfriend, still handsome, even with bed-head and wearing some pink cutesy japanese mascot T-shirt. He’s holding some breakfast as he asks if you think you can stomach something more substantial than soup, that he had coffee and water and some more pain medication waiting for you, and you cry all over again.

You remind yourself to give him the spare key to your apartment, but that could wait until after breakfast.

Taglist: @stygianoir @meimeimeirin @ainescribe @dustofthedailylife @theheartshaker @rjssierjrie

#bro i cant im soft ;;;;;;#as local migraine sufferer this is what the doctor ordered

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