in--nagas--name

[in--nagas--name]

plotting call!

come thread with libra!

mission board (libra is unaffiliated!)

i'm interested in trying the +faith prompt! libra was a street kid, and no stranger to poverty and exploitation. let's see how far his pacifism goes when faced with the ill-gotten excess of pearl shoals!

non-mission tasks

libra is interested in tasting the perpetual stew... maybe he can try out a similar concept to feed the people of abyss? (is that sanitary?)

i think it would be REALLY funny to test libra's mettle against the Clingy Lover. let's see how stern and priestly he can get!

other ideas!

libra tends the pagan altar in abyss, and always welcomes adherents of faiths beyond the church of seiros.

if your muse gets roughed up at all, during training or otherwise, libra will patch them up happily.

libra is interested in--and a little intimidated by--fodlan's illustrious tea culture. have a simple little tea party with him! can you score a perfect teatime? (can he score a perfect teatime?)

[in--nagas--name]

Fiora handles Libra's sudden slump firmly--gently, the way a potter might hold clay. She is a stranger, nigh-completely... and yet Libra feels a kindred spirit in her, that warmth just edging at the nascent winter's chill.

Perhaps it is her manner, perhaps it is simply the sheer weight of Libra's lostness, but... he cannot help but confide his heart in her.

"There is a man I love," he murmurs, careful with the words. As though the syllables themselves are wounded, as though he lays them in a clean white bed. "And he told me--he told me that he loves me as well."

"All is well, now, and the wars we fought are over... but I could not requite him. What stands between us now is only my own cowardice... and my own--m-my own licentiousness."

He half-wails it, hides the motion of his lips in his high collar. Hunches over himself. Becomes small, despite the broadness of his frame.

"Because I--there is someone else, I--I've recently met him... I am falling in love with him, too."

Worship and Weeds

[in--nagas--name]

Soren's slender cold hand does not shy away. The touch remains, there, like a pale green shoot through cracks in cobbles--it is so fragile, so new, so eager to draw itself into the light.

Libra shivers with it. With the plain sensation and... with what it means.

But he, himself, will not quail either. Not even when Soren confesses--not the secret itself, but its existence. That a weight ballasts his slight body, but not the shape of it.

Things I can't tell you.

Libra could say the same. It brings a weak, wan little smile to his face--and brighter, when Soren confesses that he... is fond of Libra's company.

He could cry. But he doesn't. Mustn't, he doesn't know what it might do to Soren.

"I find myself becoming fond of you as well," he murmurs. "And your secrets--whether you disclose them or not--will not change that. I am not always acting as Father Confessor, you know."

He speaks it with a tender little laugh--though perhaps it is not very funny.

It is the best he can offer, and he--

He finds himself striving, all the time, to offer the best of himself to Soren.

what it cost you to be whole

cont from. -> 💤

[in--nagas--name]

activity check - apr and may 25

passed and passed!

+2 skill points!

gauntlet e -> gauntlet d!

boyfriends acquired:

gaius

[in--nagas--name]

Gently, Gaius hangs the tiny charm from Libra's bracelet... gently, his clever fingers brush at Libra's wrist. It's an infinitesimal touch, but he's warm...

It frightens Libra, the way it feels. The things it does to the inside of his chest, the way it wrings love from his sodden, dripping heart. He'll make a mess, he thinks.

He already has. At the confessional, and with the letter that he wrote--and here, sobbing on his knees amidst a crowd of people, Libra has made more mess than he'd ever intended in his life, and--!

And Gaius kisses him back. Gently, with two fingertips against the thin skin of his lips.

Gaius loves him anyway. Libra chokes on it, and smiles; flushes red and murmurs "yes, it was."

He unfastens a pearl charm from his wrist, and passes it gently. Just so Gaius will touch him again, just incidentally.

My first kiss. And now it's yours.

Now I'm yours.

how lucky are we, to have so much to lose

gaius and libra III - 🌅Ethereal Ball 2025, continued from here

[in--nagas--name]

It's a gentle, gossamer touch. Scarcely even there, but Libra feels it so immensely.

It feels so good, to be touched like this. Tenderly, by the hand of the man who loves him, who cannot--will not!--be dissuaded.

Gaius, who came back for him. Who loves him, who says, for the first time, that Libra is good.

That Libra is enough.

He cannot but whimper, tremble on his knees. Unfurl his white-knuckled fist, the desperation draining from him like spent adrenaline.

Tenderly, he kisses the pads of his two fingers.

Tenderly, he presses them to the corner of Gaius' mouth. A loving kiss by proxy, it is pitiable, it is the best that he can do.

It is, perhaps, enough.

Libra blinks away his burgeoning tears. Sniffles. Smiles, in spite of everything. Because of everything.

His voice is bleeding, broken when he speaks.

"I-if you are certain that you'll have me, and if you'll forgive me for... for doubting you... Gaius, oh, my Gaius..."

He sighs, and sobs, and almost laughs. He tells the truth.

"I will walk with you for all my life."

how lucky are we, to have so much to lose

gaius and libra III - 🌅Ethereal Ball 2025, continued from here

[in--nagas--name]

Oh, Gaius is near him, and--and warm, and desperate, he lays out all the little pieces of his soul. And Libra loves him, implacably, and the fetters, they begin to corrode away...

He sobs, tearless, from a dry throat. It has been a long while since he's been able to cry.

He wishes he could, now. For Gaius.

"Nobody told me that," he murmurs, and even to say it feels like benediction.

But there is more, there's always more.

"But I know, myself, that I am... incapable, of more physical expressions of love, and... that is unfair to you."

He sighs, ragged and pathetic, the gutter-thing he's always been underneath.

"And my... m-my affections are... I love you no less, Gaius, I love you endlessly, but I am... growing to love another alongside you, and that is a sin, and--!"

Here it is, sloughing away from Libra's body like a scab. Here it falls, revealing the wet wound underneath.

"My sins, Gaius. To have... killed in the war, to have prayed for the death and destruction of my fellow man... You deserve better than the love of a sinner, frigid and licentious all at once!"

You deserve the love of someone whole, and I have never been that.

Libra's panting breaths come heavy from his throat. He wants, he yearns to hold Gaius' hand in his, to be tethered to him. To be held fast to the earth.

But he cannot allow it.

how lucky are we, to have so much to lose

gaius and libra III - 🌅Ethereal Ball 2025, continued from here

[in--nagas--name]

Heavens, but look at him. Look at the strain of his jaw, the way he works for each and every word. Look at the way he holds his hands, the way they're shaking--and still, he does not reach out to Libra. Because he understands, he honors Libra's defect.

Look at him; he is beautiful. He is beloved, so badly that it hurts. It corrodes the stalwart bones in Libra's chest.

And look at Libra, now, so weak of will... To think that he might reach out to Gaius, to be beside him, be a part of him... knowing that he can never be what Gaius needs.

Knowing that he's got no right to ask for this at all.

He steels himself, and speaks.

"Gaius," he murmurs. "How can I help you understand?"

He falters--but he must press on.

"L-love you as I may... oh, oh, oh Gods--!"

Again, he falters, and covers his face with his hands. His ankles give, and he goes to his knees in the sand.

"I love you," he sobs, "I love you, you do not understand, I can't be..."

He cowers. His hair trails in the dust.

"I cannot be your partner."

how lucky are we, to have so much to lose

gaius and libra III - 🌅Ethereal Ball 2025, continued from here

[in--nagas--name]

Tears well in Gaius' eyes. Even at this distance, Libra sees that.

It is a wretched thing, to have caused his beloved such pain. And yet... Libra has done many wretched things, when they were necessary. Necessary for survival, necessary for his faith. Necessary, now, to preserve himself and Gaius both.

It doesn't feel right. Still, it must be done.

And then--and then Gaius raises his voice. You're not a coward!!

It cuts cleanly, like one of Gaius' fine-honed knives. Libra doesn't notice the pain in his chest 'til he's bleeding. A breath breaks in his throat.

"Gaius," he murmurs, in utter astonishment. But--what else would he say? Let's find a quiet place? Let's not make a scene?

No. He has denied Gaius so much--so much that he wanted to give him!

He will not deny his beloved the chance to speak his heart.

"Go on," he breathes. "I-I am here. I will listen."

how lucky are we, to have so much to lose

gaius and libra III - 🌅Ethereal Ball 2025, continued from here

[in--nagas--name]

Gaius has all but given up the notion of finding him here. He's gonna let loose and have fun. He's gonna eat lots of cake and dance badly and have himself a fun night.

There's a taller figure on the fringes, their back turned. Blond, robed in white. Gaius rolls his eyes at himself, at his dumb mind playing dumb tricks on him. But....

Even in the crowd, thick like molasses, in the clamor and the splendor begging his attention...Gaius sees him. Libra is here.

Gaius approaches like he's in a haze, heedless of the surrounding couples dancing, and he gets some inadvertent elbows to his ribs for the trouble. He doesn't feel them at all. Like happenstance, like the fate they have both made a living of defying, Libra turns around, catches his gaze.

"Libra!"

The sound of Libra's own name overtakes him, breaks him like a glacier calves into the northern sea. Somewhere far from here, somewhere cold.

Libra feels cold, a short sharp frigid shock, at the rasp of that familiar, beloved voice. The desperation, there.

The desperation Libra caused.

Despite himself, Libra turns--feet fumbling in the shifting sand. And there he is. Gaius, his dear, dear Gaius, staggering toward him, looking for all the world as though he's been gutshot.

If he has been, then it was Libra that loosed the arrow.

The guilt is intractable. The affection that he feels... is even worse. He ought to have known that Gaius would pursue him. That Gaius would not forsake him, after all that they've been through.

Libra wishes, for a bitter instant, that he could go to him. That he could be the lover that Gaius desires, the companion that Gaius deserves.

But this is an honor to which Libra is unequal. He knows this, and... and he will not be dissuaded.

Libra's face contorts into a sympathetic smile. "Gaius," he murmurs, almost gravely. Almost lovingly.

"I hope... that you are enjoying the festivities tonight."

Please, let these fragile little words be enough. Please, do not drag my deficiency into the light.

[in--nagas--name]

Libra hangs back, watching as the partygoers wade into their reverie. They are beautiful, he thinks, and for a moment he wishes he'd had the forethought, the wherewithal to wear anything other than his plain cassock.

But this is the sin of vanity. The pearl charm that adorns his wrist is more than enough finery for him.

It is more than enough, that Libra is here, and able to join the celebration in his own small way.

charm tracker:

seashell:

starfish:

anchor:

turtle:

pearl:

[in--nagas--name]

Libra holds his silence, for a moment, as Fiora holds her memories. Like herbs between her pale fingers, she studies them. He wonders what she's seeing, now, but even in his own mind, he will not pry.

He'd like... to be a friend to her. And whether or not that is something she wants, whether or not he is worthy, he will regard her with care.

And then she speaks, and Libra understands. Loneliness... can gnaw at a person, even when they are not alone.

He's known that, among the ragged children in the street. Leading a congregation, or among the Shepherds in the war...

Still, he sighs, he sweeps the memory away. Fiora has asked him a question.

It's... not something he'd have considered, on his own. In all honesty, it's liable to make him blush. Is the chill enough to redden his cheeks, to hide the reaction? Or will Fiora notice?

Softly, Libra shakes his head. The answer falls, reticently, from his mouth.

"I... suppose I have. I've met... people that I'm fond of, here."

He thinks of Soren, in the dim library lamplight.

And then... his eyes flicker shut, and his face casts rueful. "And... somebody that I knew before is here, as well."

The timbre of Gaius' voice comes unbidden to him, the way that it echoed in the cramped confessional. The things that he said, and the things Libra said in return.

It hurts, ringing like a funeral bell.

"Although," he murmurs, downcast, "I rather think I've fouled it up."

Worship and Weeds

[in--nagas--name]

Mauvier accepts the tabard with reticent hands, but there is no such hesitation in his bow. Reverence, only--for what?

Libra does not know. He cannot see the shape of Mauvier, underneath the Church's armor. But he can...

He can trust that it is good. Mauvier is a devout man, and he bears the rare ability to question his own world-view.

(Libra wonders what his life would have been like, had he himself developed that grace earlier...)

Yes, Mauvier is trustworthy, to a point... but even Libra does not expect what falls from his lips next.

It's an offer of aid. Of charity, freely given in a soft voice.

Libra considers it. There are many things a man in Mauvier's position might do, to aid the people of Abyss. To petition the church for clemency, for supplies... even to sabotage the patrols that come and tear Abyss apart...

Still, he shakes his head. These are things he cannot ask.

He sighs, softly, and speaks. "Simply... Think on us kindly. That is all."

With every passing second, Libra's anxiety swells. They could be seen, or worse...

It is time for Mauvier to leave. But somehow, Libra cannot say it.

the better angels

mauvier & libra

[in--nagas--name]

Soren lays his hand palm-down on the table, he arranges the fragile, crystalline words of his testimony around it. He presents himself for judgment, as if Libra is...

Libra has been an arbiter of souls. In the war, he had no other choice. A frightfully simple heuristic; you stand against my Goddess, thus you are damnable. Thus you are damned.

But to cut a person down is to judge them in place of the Goddess. It is an unforgivable blasphemy. Libra judges souls no more.

And even if he did, he would find nothing wanting in Soren's.

He struggles to speak this. He keeps his eyes downcast; he studies the grain of the table-top. He watches Soren's still fingers from the corner of his eye.

At length, Libra shakes his head. His gaze fixes on Soren's penitent face.

"I cannot say... that I am a good person, either. But this is not for us to decide. All we must do is... be kind."

Gossamer-gentle, he smiles. "And you have been kind to me."

His own hand twitches at the wrist, he coaxes it across the empty table-top.

Steadily, he touches Soren's hand. Just slightly, just softly. Just the barest brush of little fingers.

"Please," he murmurs, "you are allowed... to look more kindly on yourself."

what it cost you to be whole

cont from. -> 💤

[in--nagas--name]

♡

send a <3 to see what our muses' kid would be like!

this is zinaida, libra and zelkov's daughter!

growing up alongside the children at her fathers' orphanage, zinaida has seen firsthand the effect that violence can have on the smallest members of society. this drove her to spend the long elusian winters studying statecraft, though she is herself of common birth. she aims to gain political influence not through military prowess, as a knight might, but on her own merits. she uses peaceful means to advocate for a peaceful world.

plus she's cute.

[in--nagas--name]

send me a ♡ and i’ll describe what i think our muses’ child would be like

[ can be in terms of appearance, personality, or both! ]

[in--nagas--name]

Send ' 🌌 + a universe / au ' and I’ll make an AU verse based off of it.

multimuses, please specify a muse.