inbeautifulruins

[inbeautifulruins]

𝑻𝒉𝒆  𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂  𝒐𝒇  𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏���  𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅  𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆  𝒔𝒉𝒆'𝒔  𝒂  𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒎  𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒍  𝒖𝒑  𝒇𝒐𝒓  𝒂  𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒃𝒐𝒏  𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒈𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒔  𝒉𝒆𝒓,  but  she  can't  very  well  say  no  to  it,  not  when  she  is  being  hosted  here  this  season  in  hopes  of  finding  her  a  husband.  Though  under  the  watchful  eye  of  her  brother  she  doesn't  realize  that  someone  else  has  their  eyes  on  her  as  well.

Colin  Bridgerton,  the  first  person  she  met  when  she  arrived  thanks  to  a  fateful  thunderstorm.  Charming,  smart,  intellectual,  a  beautifully  spoken  man  who  can  wield  and  write  his  words  with  such  beauty  that  he  has  without  a  doubt  captivated  many  women's  attention.  So  why  would  his  fall  solely  on  her?  That  is  far  too  much  to  consider,  but  even  a  young  woman  can  hope,  can  dream.  But  she  keeps  all  of  those  to  herself  as  she  stands  here  dressed  in  soft  blues  and  her  hair  done  up  neater  than  what  she  often  wears  it  as.  Giggles  escape  her  as  this  man  speaks  to  her  ,  telling  her  stories  of  his  adventures,  though  none  of  them  seem  to  go  beyond  the  walls  of  his  own  home.

The  giggles  are  more  for  the  absurdity  of  it,  than  genuine  amusement.  She  looks  among  the  crowd  as  though  she's  nearly  pleading  for  a  rescue,  and  her  eyes  fall  on  Colin.

The  look  in  his  eyes  are  hard  to  read  from  where  she  stands.  When  the  man  begins  another  story,  Madeliene  excuses  herself  with  a  gentle  word  as  she  brushes  the  mans  hand  carefully  and  then  she  walks  calmly  but  with  a  hint  of  a  rush  over  to  Colin.

❝  Colin!  ❞  she  tries  to  not  call  out  too  loud.  ❝  Sauve-moi  !  ❞  she  lets  out  a  faint  giggle  as  she  hesitates  to  take  him  by  the  arm  as  she  has  to  appear  to  be  a  lady  among  the  masses.

❝  I  cannot  bare  another  tale  of  how  he  was  unable  to  decide  where  to  put  a  piece  of  furniture.  Are  Englishmen  always  so  indecisive  on  where  to  place  an  ottoman?  ❞  she  asks  him,  her  voice  low  but  taunting.

⊹ · ⸻ @inbeautifulruins ; answered dream letter :

😠 ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴍᴀᴅᴇʟɪᴇɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏʟɪɴ ʙʀɪᴅɢᴇʀᴛᴏɴ

𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒏. Indeed, he had long believed such a sentiment beneath him. And yet, as he stands there, the cool stem of a glass between his fingers, the young Bridgerton feels the unmistakable sting of envy settle in his chest like a slow-burning coal. It is most undignified, he tells himself, to allow such trivialities to stir the heart into disquiet. After all, Madeliene is perfectly at liberty to converse with whomever she pleases ; it is neither his place nor his right to dictate the direction of her smile. Still, he cannot help the way his gaze lingers▬▬drawn with the helpless fascination of a man who has only just begun to realise how deep the affections in his heart have settled. The gentleman to whom she now speaks leans just a touch too close, his words eliciting a laugh from her that Colin has, on rare and fortunate occasions, earned for himself. It is a sound that usually brings him no small measure of delight. But tonight, it grates. He cannot say precisely why▬▬only that he resents the man for having drawn it forth, and Madeliene for giving it so freely. There is no scene to be made▬▬he would sooner swallow his pride than betray such pettiness. And yet, a muscle ticks in his jaw, and his knuckles whiten against the glass. How strange, that something so slight could cause such a stir. Jealousy, it seems, has little care for one's self-image. It creeps in all the same. He tells himself it is nothing. That Madeliene is merely being polite, as all well-bred young ladies must be. That he is not watching the subtle lean of her posture or the way her eyes linger just a moment too long. And yet, there is a tightness in his chest that no amount of rational thought can ease, and he finds his fingers clenching at his sides before he can stop them.

It is most unbecoming. Of this, Colin is well aware. Jealousy is the province of fools and fretful boys, not of a gentleman who has traversed continents, conversed with scholars and poets, and penned his observations with no small measure of eloquence. He ought to turn away. He ought, with all propriety, to engage his brothers in conversation, or seek the easy company of his sister, or indeed, any other diversion that might restore sense and civility to his present state. Yet he does not. He lingers. Never before had he understood how deeply he abhorred the notion of her smile being offered to another. And he wonders, whether she has already taken notice of it.

[inbeautifulruins]

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚  𝒄𝒂𝒏  𝒅𝒐  𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉  𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕  --  again.  He  almost  lost  her  once  and  he'd  rather  not  repeat  that  ever  again.  Almost  losing  her  nearly  broke  him  in  ways  he  had  never  imagined  losing  anyone  could  break  him.  But  here  she  is,  alive  and  well  and  now  they  are  talking  about  writing  their  story  into  something  for  others  to  read  -  a  way  for  them  to  take  part  in  the  adventure  and  the  aftermath.

But  hey,  it  could  be  something  they  don't  even  share  with  the  world,  maybe  just  their  future  kids  when  they  think  their  parents  are  lame.  We're  not  lame,  he  thought,  look  at  what  we  did  in  our  youth,  treasure,  adventure,  chaos,  disaster,  near  death  experiences  ...  he  can  just  imagine  the  kids  with  their  noses  turned  up  saying  'yeah  right'.

The  concept  of  the  future  has  him  smiling  ear  to  ear.  More  than  he  probably  should  be  right  now  as  he's  staring  off.  But  Sarah  brings  him  back  when  she  mentions  Pope.

❝  Oh  for  sure.  ❞  he  laughs.  ❝  And  if  it  sells,  we'll  have  to  give  him  a  cut,  probably  for  all  the  therapy  he  should  be  getting  for  all  the  shit  we  put  him  through.❞

they are a modern day romeo and juliet. different social classes. families that didn't get along and yet their love for each other defied all odds. but their's is hopefully without the whole death part.

not that she knew the first thing about writing a book but it did sound like a good idea. it could be a children's story or a tale of their adventures. either way it sounds like a really cool idea that also doesn't risk their lives. maybe they could make a decent living off it if they became a best seller.

"we are definitely going to need pope's help with editing it and probably classing it up a bit." she laughs, smiling at john b.

[inbeautifulruins]

I love that it's noted that they lived through flu seasons together.

Because y'all know what that is?

*platonic* love.

Evan Wexner and David Ackerman [ now Hadler ] shared an apartment together near campus during medical school. Evan cooked, David cleaned. They lived through labs, lectures, step exams, breakups, flu seasons, and finals together.

[inbeautifulruins]

𝑯𝒆  𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕  𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍  𝒚𝒐𝒖  𝒘𝒉𝒚  𝒐𝒓  𝒉𝒐𝒘  𝒉𝒆  𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒍  𝒊𝒏  𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆  𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉  𝑺𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒉,  but  he  knew  that  he  loved  her,  and  part  of  him  still  does.  It's  not  a  feeling  he  can  easily  shake  from  him  no  matter  what  he  tries,  no  matter  how  he  tries  to  override  that  with  even  just  a  bit  of  hate  that  he  thinks  she  may  deserve.  Somehow  it  always  comes  back  to  him  loving  her  ;  but  hating  all  the  situations  she  put  him  in  where  he's  had  to  lie  for  her,  take  a  fall  for  her,  only  to  be  met  with  her  lodging  the  knife  deeper  into  his  back.

But  at  the  end  of  the  day  it  still  didn't  matter  how  deep  that  blade  went  in,  he'd  still  walk  through  fire  for  her  if  she  asked  him  too.  Some  call  him  being  whipped  and  maybe  he  is.  But  fuck  them  -  they'll  never  feel  like  this.  And  he's  not  sure  if  that's  a  blessing  or  a  curse  when  he  really  thinks  about  it.

It  doesn't  change  anything,  though.

When  she  thanks  him  he  pauses,  then  he  looks  back  at  her  as  he  watches  her  open  the  door  more  and  offers  him  inside.  Hesitantly  he  steps  in  as  he  looks  back  at  her,  his  eyes  never  leaving  hers.

❝  No,  but  i  get  it.  ❞  somehow,  even  a  little,  he  got  it.  ❝  I  wasn't  exactly  boyfriend  of  the  year,  either.  ❞  taking  half  of  the  blame  is  fair,  because  he  knows  it's  true.  ❝  You  deserve  better.  ❞

sarah has always prided herself in handling conflict with dignity. at least more than others and yet when it came to ruthie, she let it all out. if the girl wanted to push buttons, sarah was going to let herself freely snap. letting all the feelings and thoughts she had since meeting the girl tumblr out. she was sure ruthie would have attacked her had others not been around.

she hadn't been fair to topper. cheating on him. leaving him. running back to him when things got tough. she was far from perfect when it came to their relationship so she thought he'd be here to tell her she was the one in the wrong. yet, this was surprising. a few weeks ago he was riding shotgun while his girlfriend tried to mow her down and now he's sitting here apologizing for her. "you're right. it's not your place but....thank you."

maybe she needs closure in all her relationships. finally let things out that were held so deep in order to move on. so she opens the door a little wider, offering him to come in.

"not like it wasn't deserved. i wasn't exactly the kindest."

[inbeautifulruins]

𝑺𝒉𝒆  𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒔  𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕  𝒔𝒉𝒆  𝒊𝒔,  it's  not  a  surprise  with  the  black  eyes  and  the  black  puff  of  smoke  she  can  vanish  into  if  she  chooses  to  get  away  from  her  vessel,  but  instead  she  stands  there  before  this  demon  hunter,  dressed  as  though  she's  on  her  way  to  court  with  her  fitted  suit,  her  hair  tied  back  nicely.  He  holds  the  blade,  but  she  doesn't  make  a  move  to  attack  or  flee.  The  guilty  don't  run  --  and  as  far  as  she's  concerned?  She's  not  guilty.  She's  helping  and  she  knows  she  is  whether  or  not  he  wants  to  believe  it.

Her  brow  arches  in  question  as  Dean  refers  to  her  as  a  monster,  and  true,  she  can't  deny  who  or  what  she  is  at  the  end  of  the  day,  but  she  sleeps  like  a  baby  in  the  bed  she  made.

❝  You're  so  quick  to  hunt  and  execute  monsters  without  taking  a  look  inward.  Some  don't  ask  for  the  role  we're  given  ,  Dean.  Did  you  ask  to  be  a  hunter,  or  was  that  just  expected  ?  ❞  she  asks,  crossing  her  arms  casually.

❝  Humanity  itself  is  full  of  monsters,  far  worse  than  anything  hell  can  spit  out,  I'm  doing  with  them  what  you  do  to  creatures  like  me  --  you  deal  out  your  own  justice,  I  do  mine.  Explain  to  me,  what's  the  difference?  ❞  she  will  ask  calm  and  cool,  collected,  and  awaiting  his  answer  wondering  if  he'll  find  the  words  or  point  the  blade.

⊹ · ⸻ @inbeautifulruins ; answered dream letter :

"ᴍʏ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴄɪᴇɴᴄᴇ ɪꜱ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀ." - ᴏᴅᴇꜱꜱᴀ, ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇʟᴘꜰᴜʟ ᴅᴇᴍᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴀɴ

𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔. Maybe on her side, maybe she really thinks that, but for Dean ? Demons don't get clean slates. Not in his book. Doesn't matter if they're saving kids or baking cupcakes. He's seen too much, bled too much, buried too many good people to just nod and go, yeah, sure, let’s trust the demon. His fingers twitch near the grip of his blade, not because he's gonna use it not yet anyway. Sam told him to stand down, and he's trying, but that itch never really goes away around things that shouldn't be walking this Earth with a smile. And yeah, maybe what she says is true, maybe she's done some good but that don't mean she's safe. Doesn't mean she's earned trust. People lie. Demons ? They just lie prettier. He steps closer, boots heavy, eyes locked on her like he's waiting for the mask to slip. ❝ Funny, ❞ he mutters, voice low and flat, ❝ mine's not. Not when monsters like you are around. ❞ It's not just the demon thing. It's the way she talks like she knows what redemption means. Like she's earned it. Because hell, he has been chasing that ghost his whole damn life, bleeding for it, burying people for it.

Dean doesn't trust easy, and sure as hell not when it comes wrapped in Hell's leftovers with good intentions and a pretty face. His stare hardens. Doesn't matter what her conscience says▬▬she's still got black in her blood, and Dean's not stupid enough to forget that.

[inbeautifulruins]

❝  Doesn't  that  get  your  Chicago  card  revoked  or  something  ?  I  heard  Doctor  Brendan  talking  about  it  --  and  apparently  not  liking  a  deep  dish  could  get  you  exiled.  Yes,  I  know,  he's  being  dramatic,  but  it  sounds  like  it's  a  cardinal  rule  for  living  here.❞  April  replies,  holding  back  a  smile  ❝  Don't  tell  anyone,  but  I've  never  had  one.  Besides  if  you  ask  me,  the  sauce  on  top  of  the  cheese  is  a  crime  against  humanity.❞

☤ ⎯ open starter for mutuals !

" I know this is borderline sacrilegious, especially in this city… but I don’t like deep dish. there, I said it. sue me. ❜ patrick muttered, barely looking up from the stack of charts he was signing at the nurses’ station."

[inbeautifulruins]

𝑹𝒂𝒇𝒆  𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕  𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆  𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎,  he  kept  his  eyes  focused  on  the  window  in  front  of  him  while  his  thumb  rested  under  his  lip.  A  distant  look  in  his  eyes  as  he  took  several  steady  breaths.  He  could  feel  their  eyes  on  him,  waiting  for  him  to  say  something  --  anything.

But  what  could  he  say?  This  wasn't  fair  to  him  at  the  end  of  the  day,  but  he  can't  stop  how  he  feels  even  though  he  wishes  there  was  a  way  to  do  so.  A  way  to  just  rid  himself  of  every  single  thread  of  emotion  tied  to  her  them.

He  heard  the  soft  whisper  of  his  name,  but  he  shakes  his  head,  lifting  his  hand.

❝  I  don't  want  you  to  come  around  here  no  more  --  I  beg  you  for  mercy.  ❞  he  frowns.

❝  You  don't  know  how  strong  my  weakness  is  or  how  much  it  hurts  me.  Because  when  you  say  it's  over  with  him  I  want  to  believe  it's  true...❞

But  he  knows  better,  they'll  have  their  night  and  he  thinks  it's  all  fixed,  that  they're  something  again,  but  come  morning  ...  come  morning  they're  gone.

So  he  lets  them  in  knowing  tomorrow  he's  going  to  wake  up  missing  them  ...  and  he  does  it  every  single  time.

Open  from  :  Rafe  Cameron  For  :  Anyone  ,  fandom  cross  over,  of  legal  age.  Implied established relationship (meaning it doesn't have to already be established between us, so you can throw whoever you want to at this ) ,  hints  at  infidelity  or  a  over  all  bad  relationship  and  Rafe  is  the  guy  that  they  turn  to. Inspired  by  :  This  song

[inbeautifulruins]

Guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then.

[inbeautifulruins]

My appointment is in 30 minutes ( the clinic is right down the road from me so clearly no rush to get there ) so we're placing bets.

I'm betting ovarian cyst.

[inbeautifulruins]

©

[inbeautifulruins]

Tyler's bachelor pad

[inbeautifulruins]

I don't need coping skills or cute clichés No thoughts and prayers or time and space I need someone to prove I'm worth the pain I don't need "I've been there" comparisons A safety plan with medicine I need someone to see my worst and stay

[inbeautifulruins]

an  independent,  private  &  mutuals  -  only  blog for  doctor patrick hadler  an original character canon from  nbc's  chicago  med. operated by lauren.

[inbeautifulruins]

𝑯𝒆  𝒊𝒔  𝒂  𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒚  𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅  𝒎𝒂𝒏  ,  he  loves  his  wife,  but  he  is  also  polite.  Probably  too  polite  to  the  woman  who  is  talking  to  him  right  now,  touching  his  arm  despite  the  fact  that  he's  said  the  word  'wife'  about  three  times  and  showed  off  his  ring  at  least  four  times.  And  yet,  she's  still  faking  the  laugh,  the  flirty  laugh  he  knows  from  his  earlier  days  hitting  up  the  bars  with  the  boys  and  trying  to  get  home  anyone  to  fill  his  bed  for  the  night.

But  he's  not  here  to  do  that,  he's  here  to  spend  time  with  his  beautiful  wife  who  arrives  in  just  the  nick  of  time.  He  smile  sat  Carmen,  moving  his  arm  around  her.

❝  Hey  baby!  ❞  he  pulls  her  close  to  him  and  he  kisses  her  cheek  lovingly,  his  head  leaning  against  hers.  ❝  Ah  yes,  this  is  --  ❞  he  pauses  and  points  to  the  woman.  ❝  I'm  sorry,  what  did  you  say  your  name  was?  ❞  he  had  already  forgotten  it  the  moment  the  conversation  started.  But  when  Carmen  puts  her  hand  on  his  shoulder  but  her  nails  press  in  he  gives  a  subtle  wince.

Ah,  one  of  the  reasons  he  loves  this  woman  so  much,  she's  not  afraid  to  publicly  claim  him  even  if  it's  at  his  expense.

The  woman  makes  a  face  and  says  she  has  to  go,  and  then  gets  up  to  do  that  and  when  she's  far  enough  away  Ollie  looks  to  Carmen.  ❝  I  know  what  it  looks  like,  but  I  swear,  I  told  her  time  and  time  again  I'm  married,  even  showed  the  ring.❞  he  taps  his  finger.

❝  She  just  didn't  get  the  hint.  ❞

⊹ · ⸻ @inbeautifulruins ; answered dream letter :

😠 ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴏʟʟɪᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀᴍᴇɴ

𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒂𝒛𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒔 𝑶𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓 across the room, eyes narrowing just slightly as she realizes how long it's been since he said he was going to grab them drinks. She scans the crowd, expecting to see him weaving his way back toward her only to find him planted in conversation instead. And there she is. Standing just a little too close. Laughing a little too loud. Her hand rests on his arm like she's done it a hundred times before. Carmen draws in a slow breath, lets it fill her with poise, not panic. A smile rises to her lips that looks warm from a distance but tastes like heat up close. Her jaw clenches for the briefest second. Then her heels meet the floor with rhythmic clicks. She doesn't storm toward him, however. No, she glides—shoulders back, that tight dress hugging every curve in a way that woman couldn't fill out even on her best day. Chin lifted, gaze hard, like she owns the floor she walks on. She steps right up, planting herself between Oliver and the woman, not even subtle about it. Her dark eyes land on the other woman first, a tilt of her head, that little flick of a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

❝ Cariño, ❞ she says sweet, dripping sugar that hides the vinegar, ❝ You makin' new friends, huh ? That's cute ❞ Her hand rests lightly on Oliver's shoulder, like a casual claim, but her nails press. Then she looks at him, finally, that grin stretching wider. There is laughter in her voice, teasing even, but beneath it there is a warning. She's not the type to make a scene, not unless she's pushed, but nobody flirts with what belongs to her without finding out she bites.

[inbeautifulruins]

❝ That's what you got from what I said ? ❞ Ethan asks, trying to suppress the smirk that's hiding. ❝ Did you hear a single word I said, really, or were you just watching my mouth move..? ❞

muse: juniper thompson

"you're sounding more and more like you want to kiss me."

[inbeautifulruins]

Anyone out there wanna be Ethan Fisher's ex girlfriend with a possible re-connection arc ?

[inbeautifulruins]

𝑻𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒓  𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒕𝒐  𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒆  𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌  𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏  𝒔𝒉𝒆  𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔  𝒐𝒇  𝒉𝒊𝒔  𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚  and  yet  he  knows  he  can't  because  he  does  seem  to  talk  about  them  a  lot  -  but  who  could  blame  him?  He's  now  with  Sarah,  and  he  had  feelings  for  Sarah  despite  what  she  says.  He  was  wronged,  hurt,  even  after  he  did  things  for  them  he  didn't  have  to  do.  He  let  them  run  from  Rafe  and  Kelce,  he  helped  them  with  that  fucking  cross  with  the  bat  of  Sarah's  eyelashes  and  her  playing  on  his  emotions.  Could  he  be  a  dick?  Sure,  but  he  was  also  used  -  more  than  once  all  because  he  cared  about  Sarah.  And  she  played  him  like  a  fiddle,  a  fool,  an  idiot.

He  takes  a  deep  breath  and  releases  it.  ❝  I  don't  give  a  shit  about  John  B  and  his  friends.❞  at  least  he's  trying  not  to.

He  stares  down  and  out  at  the  water,  then  looks  back  at  her.

Topper  doesn't  say  it  out  loud,  but  he's  actually  tired  of  caring  -  he  cared  too  much  about  Sarah,  what  his  mom  thinks  and  wants,  what  Ruthie  expected.  He  just  wants  to  be.

Whatever  that  means.

❝  You  gonna  stay  out  here  when  the  storm  hits?  Be  all  dramatic  or  something  ?  ❞  and  she  makes  mention  of  the  lamp  theory  and  his  brow  raises.  ❝  Are  you  a  conspiracy  theorist  ?  ❞  He  didn't  take  her  for  the  type.

"maybe because you've made that topic like the main aspect of your personality these days. honestly, i'm a little concerned for you." she looks over him before looking back over the dock. there is a storm on the horizon. the air is cold, the clouds dark. it's one of her favorite things to watch.

"not a bad thing but definitely abnormal. i'm questioning if i've somehow went through a vortex and entered an alternate reality. how would i know that? would the whole lamp theory be accurate? i should find a lamp."