incandescentincubus

[incandescentincubus]

fireflies lighting up a rural Pennsylvania field at dusk

[incandescentincubus]

ILYSM! 🤣Happy pride! 🫶🏾🌈🥹

[incandescentincubus]

🥛

[incandescentincubus]

When I think about American attitudes to parenting there's something that always comes to mind, but I don't know whether it's a real thing. All my life in American films and TV I've heard child characters addressing their dads as "sir" or being told off for not doing so.

Is that really a commonplace thing in American families, or is it just a shorthand way of showing that the character is a shitty dad?

[incandescentincubus]

In my defense, your Honor.

I simply do not vibe with or believe in this justice system.

[incandescentincubus]

I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’

[incandescentincubus]

it occurred to me that there is probably still someone out there who has never watched the anarcho-syndicalist scene from Holy Grail, and that this person might even be following me:

[incandescentincubus]

everyone’s like “wah wah my dicks too big to wear running shorts” y’all are cowards just wear the damn shorts and let whatever happens happen

sorry for not dropping my pole out in public

[incandescentincubus]

[incandescentincubus]

View on Twitter

These pictures are killing me

[incandescentincubus]

It is morally correct to be horny on main.

If we really want to fight against this puritanical culture that seems to be hell-bent on running sex workers off the internet and banning pornography wherever they can find it, you have a moral duty to post hole on main. Doesn't have to be your own hole but you got to post it.

[incandescentincubus]

"hey, bobby, ginger's kid came out to her as non-binerary! can you believe it?"

"non-binary."

"huh? wha? what'd i say?"

"you said 'non-binerary.' the word is non-binary."

"right. non-byrony."

"oh my god"

[incandescentincubus]

people keep trying to make "ladies and gentlemen" more inclusive.

I think we should go the other way around.

make more and more weird false dichotomies in greetings. "gamers and pianists". "oil painters and swordsmen". "vexillologists and entomologists". "chess masters and diamond artificers". "accountants and gendered individuals".

we need to be dropping shit into formal meetings to make people say "wait what? which one am I?"

[incandescentincubus]

Great Mouse Detective version of Dracula happening simultaneously as the events of Dracula, so there’s just five mice in Victorian clothes unnoticed by the human cast desperately trying to kill a bat.

[incandescentincubus]

everyone is out here with these fantastic theories and metaphors in glass onion

but i just can't stop laughing at miles bron's face when blanc says that he got the box with its stupid "children's puzzles" that took him less than a minute to solve like. that motherfucker was so offended and i loved every second of it

[incandescentincubus]

A mark on your forehead identifies the god you must worship to stay alive, usually by joining its local church or temple. Your mark is unknown, meaning an old, forgotten god sponsored you. To survive, you must either find an old temple to worship at, or do the arduous task of building a new one