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Candace Flynn would totally read and write fanfiction and then have the craziest updated in the authors notes.

"Sorry for this late chapter. My brothers built ANOTHER rollercoaster. Somehow my mom didn't notice AGAIN."

"Hi sorry, I was already to post but then I remembered it was my parents' anniversary. So then me and my brothers had to help my dad set something up. Bevause he forgot about it, so I had to distracted my mom for the whole day while my brother's rekindled Love Handle. It worked, and they had a great anniversary. Anyway, here is the next chapter of the Ducky Momo x MCU AU"

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The largest mass shooting in American history was a hate crime against gay people. Don’t ever forget that.

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You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

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How well do you see color?

I’m cry I scored 60, I feel blind

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and i know people mean well when they give employment advice but god damn some of them its like "did you try submitting your resume to a place that is hiring" fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck no kidding. shit. ive just been printing them out and eating them. yeah thanks i'll try that

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Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

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Vote with your heart not with your pussy

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something about that one narrow staircase in Spadina station is deeply haunting to me, what do we think?

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tumblr where are they

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spoilers (unless you looked closer at the thumbnail than I did) for the new video utc!!

I was walking around with my AirPods in, not near the screen and as soon as I heard him, I stopped moving completely and went “VINCENT?!” 😭😭 I USED TO DREAM OF TIMES LIKE THESE.

as a mainly Shaw pack + Vincent enjoyer, I am VERY happy 🥹

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good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

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its crazy that different pasta shapes are actually like. different. like i know for a fact farfalle fucks harder than conchiglie and fusilli. fusilli is a basic bitch pasta. spaghetti is a classic cant go wrong but replace it with linguine and youve got a whole new meal. and fettuccine??? basically a marriage proposal from the chef. what is it about the shapes.... well. i couldnt tell yuou.

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OLLIE *AND* A ZELDA GAMEPLAY????? oh I won.

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You can only reblog this today.

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Happiness Will Come To You.