inconvenient-stuff

[inconvenient-stuff]

Wednesday WIP game

Snipped for the Pokémon crossover for @meggiejolly, @aparticularbandit, @tamsinswriting, @somefishycat, @akumteir, @eriquin, @whimsicalmeerkat, @twyrewolf, @stonemaskedtaliesin

-----

Dante tilts his head to the side, not quite able to believe what he is seeing. "Is that... a human skull? Used as a diaper?"

Vergil looks up from where he is killing their little firepit and blinks, then turns his head to look over his shoulder.

There is a little bird hopping closer to the discarded remains of their breakfast. It looks, and even more so behaves, a lot like a vulture, picking at whatever it can reach with an incredibly sharp beak. The head tilts this way and that in the way that birds like to do, warily keeping them in its eyeline. Still it eagerly rips a large chunk of leg out of the carcass with a high crow of delight, hopping away a few steps to go to town on its price. Looks altogether very gruesome, blood goes splattering everywhere. Very messy eater.

"It does appear to be a human skull, yes," Vergil says, blandly unconcerned.

Probably saw worse stuff down in hell. Dante did too, but that was demons. He is used to such shit from those fuckers, nasty assholes that they are. This feels a bit different.

He blinks some more. There was another animal with a skull on its head some while back, but that was more sad stuff, seeing as Vergil's handy Pokédex cheerfully informed him that that was from the thing's mother. Sad enough that Dante gave it all his remaining meat, much to Vergil's exasperation. 

But this is... out there. He tries to remember if he ever saw a demon use human bones as ...assecories, but comes up blank. They mostly either use them as food or as breeding grounds for eggs. Horryfying to see, sure, but at least the body isn't used as a glorified waste basket. That's just hella undignified.

Such a fascinating world they have come to. Very duplicious, what with the cheery athmosphere but gruesome inhabitants. He likes it.

[inconvenient-stuff]

Wednesday WIP game

Snipped for my demonic hunterxhunter AU thingy for @oriharaizayadividesintoslytherin, @catboy-jupiter

----

He bangs on Lady's door two times and then just kicks it in when she doesn't answer fast enough. It's a shitty hotel, they won't even notice the damage.

The outraged squawk from her is loud and he swiftly ducks the fuzzy slipper she throws with pinpoint accuracy at his head. Tony shoves the plastic bag dangling from his numb fingers at her in appeasement before the second slipper can fly too, very glad that Lady is alone and he doesn't have to deal with Trish right now.

"Tequilla."

She looks at him, hand with the slipper slowly lowering back down. Looks at the bag. Looks back up at him and then nods solemnly.

"Tequilla."

This is why she is his best friend. She doesn't even need him to explain it to her. 

[inconvenient-stuff]

Wednesday WIP game

Snipped of my whump fic for @wizisbored, @hurricanebreeze, @auburnlaughter, @zyrafowe-sny and @tildeathwillwepart

Thanks for prompting this, guys. I finally managed to get through a major road block thanks to this!

----

Vergil spends the next night at Dante's bedside, while his son goes home to his children with a promise to turn back up tomorrow. 

He isn't comfortable leaving his brother alone right now. Not with the strange ramblings and the coughing attack his son told him about. That he would mention the amulet-

Vergil shakes his head firmly, dislodging the thought. No use lingering on it, when it must have been simply the fever talking. It means nothing.

His fingers curl tightly on the book he is holding onto, nearly crinkling the parchment of a few pages before he catches himself and relaxes them again. He has not read even one word, no matter how much he pretends to stare at it. Instead his complete attention is on each low, raspy breath, sharp ears picking up even the smallest change in the cadence or rhythm. When he fails to contain the need, he flicks his eyes up, lingering on the barely moving chest, up to the pale face scrunched up in pain. Each time the pit in his stomach grows. Hours pass and Dante shows no sign of recovery or waking up. It's nerve-racking.

He returns his eyes to the page. Open on the characteristically small entry of Marshes, as it has been for the past hour already. Barely more than a paragraph, so inconsequential are these demons. And yet.

He resists checking again.

[inconvenient-stuff]

Pros of re-reading your own fic

a good time;

Has exactly the tropes you like and the characterization you want to read;

Gratification: yes you did finish a thing and yes you did do good;

just a very fun time all around.

Cons of re-reading your own fic:

Is that another TYpO

[inconvenient-stuff]

Chapter 18

For my newest story, a Devil May Cry - Pokémon Crossover, I will post the meandering path the two go to. So I can add the image in the story itself. It's about the time travelling twins, a bit of a prequel to those stories.

I will only add the story title as tag, I don't want this in the official ones.

This is chapter 9

Map Link: bulbapedia

[inconvenient-stuff]

For my newest story, a Devil May Cry - Pokémon Crossover, I will post the meandering path the two go to. So I can add the image in the story itself. It's about the time travelling twins, a bit of a prequel to those stories.

I will only add the story title as tag, I don't want this in the official ones.

This is chapter 9

Map Link: bulbapedia

[inconvenient-stuff]

Chapter 16

For my newest story, a Devil May Cry - Pokémon Crossover, I will post the meandering path the two go to. So I can add the image in the story itself. It's about the time travelling twins, a bit of a prequel to those stories.

I will only add the story title as tag, I don't want this in the official ones.

This is chapter 9

Map Link: bulbapedia

[inconvenient-stuff]

Up to chapter 13

For my newest story, a Devil May Cry - Pokémon Crossover, I will post the meandering path the two go to. So I can add the image in the story itself. It's about the time travelling twins, a bit of a prequel to those stories.

I will only add the story title as tag, I don't want this in the official ones.

This is chapter 9

Map Link: bulbapedia

[inconvenient-stuff]

Path of Chapter 14

For my newest story, a Devil May Cry - Pokémon Crossover, I will post the meandering path the two go to. So I can add the image in the story itself. It's about the time travelling twins, a bit of a prequel to those stories.

I will only add the story title as tag, I don't want this in the official ones.

This is chapter 9

Map Link: bulbapedia

[inconvenient-stuff]

Their path on to chapter 12

For my newest story, a Devil May Cry - Pokémon Crossover, I will post the meandering path the two go to. So I can add the image in the story itself. It's about the time travelling twins, a bit of a prequel to those stories.

I will only add the story title as tag, I don't want this in the official ones.

This is chapter 9

Map Link: bulbapedia

[inconvenient-stuff]

How I choose the typing for them in Unsupervised Tomfoolery:

Pokemon Nerdery ahead!

Ok, my choice for typing, which I put way too much thought into and also not enough at all.

First of all I knew from the beginnig that they would both be double typed, with one of them shared between them. This was either dark (demon) or Figthing (sword nerds). In the end I went with dark, because we be edgy here.

So, for Vergil I first thought ghost, mostly because of his story in the game. The problem here was that then Dante would have to have *thoughts* about that. No way around it. And I want this story to be happy go lucky, and have nearly no angst in it, so that was out. For a short moment I thought about giving Dante the ghost typing instead, cause you can argue with his depression and the fact I often write him at least partially suicidal during his darkest years. But that just ends up being the same problem, but from the other side this time. So Ghost is out for both.

The next obvious for Vergil was poison, because yes. Obviously, Vergil would delight in being able to poison people, it's suitably demonic and evil, he approves. And that was V set.

Dante was an annoying mess to type, I tell you. Ok, so admittedly, one of my very first thoughts about him was to go Fairy. Absolutely just for the funny. It would have been so hilarious.

Buuuuuut, more seriously, I went with exclusion principle for him. 

Fire and Electric is out, because demonized uses them and I wanted something different so as not to step on their toes too much. 

Normal is just flat out, because no. Neither of those two are even remotely normal. 

Water, Grass, Ice, Ground, Flying and Rock just don't fit Dante at all. 

Was considering Bug for a bit, because Bugdad Sparda and all. But. Bugdad Sparda, he would be the bug one in the family.

Steel could have been interesting, maybe make the connection to his Devil Arms and it being the storngest defensive type (Royal Guard), but posion has no effect on it, so it's eeeh. Also, while Dante is good on defense he is much more aggressive in nature, so no.

Dragon leans a bit too much into creature, ie demon for me. Which is already covered by dark.

Figthing would make sense, though I am frankly always going to think that if D is fighting then V needs to be fighting too. They share that one too equally.

And that just kind of leaves Psychic. Which does mostly work, it is quite balanced with few weaknesses. Reflects Dante being a very well rounded fighter with his styles. Also, you have moves like reflect and barrier, which is very much the Royal Guard Style. Posion is doubly effective against it though, which is so very annoying, but Dark has no effect, so that kind of balances him out with V again? A little bit? Argh.

It's not perfect at all and I'm still eh about the choice, but it is what it is now. Seeing as they mostly do whatever they want, it's not too much of a problem for the story anyway.

Fighting -> 1 against Dark/Poison

Poison -> 1 against Dark/Psychic

Poison -> 1 against Dark/Fighting

Poison -> 0 against Dark/Steel

Psychic -> 0 against Dark/Poison (SOOO anoying, am gonna outright ignore this one)

Dark -> 1/2 against Dark/Poison

Dark -> 1 against Dark/Psychic

Dark -> 1/4 against Dark/Fighting

[inconvenient-stuff]

For my newest story, a Devil May Cry - Pokémon Crossover, I will post the meandering path the two go to. So I can add the image in the story itself. It's about the time travelling twins, a bit of a prequel to those stories.

I will only add the story title as tag, I don't want this in the official ones.

This is chapter 9

Map Link: bulbapedia

[inconvenient-stuff]

For my newest story, a Devil May Cry - Pokémon Crossover, I will post the meandering path the two go to. So I can add the image in the story itself. It's about the time travelling twins, a bit of a prequel to those stories.

I will only add the story title as tag, I don't want this in the official ones.

This is chapter 6-8

Map Link: bulbapedia

[inconvenient-stuff]

I have finally managed to put Dante on a Pole for some pole dancing! Very happy right now. Still need to figure out the rest of the story, though, and that's going to take a while. So have this snipped first.

It's sometime after DMC5

----

"Little help here, please?!" Nero snarks, shooting his way to a little break in the advancement of the horde.

"You want me to help with my own rescue?" Dante asks, waiting patiently while the pole slowly twirls him around until he is facing the front again and can point indignantly at the kid. "Rude nephew!"

"Oh my god, you lazy fucker."

Dante rotates back around. Hm. This is not optimal, now he can't watch his darling nephew's heroic rescue. Also can't call out any helpful pointers to make the kid go indignantly red either. Shame.

He unfolds from his shoulder mount, repositions his legs in a proper clamp further down, and lets one hand trail down to scrape gently over the floor, slowing his momentum to a stop facing the front again.

"On your left," he cries out cheerfully, catching sight of a Death Scissor preparing to dive down from one of the high balconies to decapitate the kid.

Nero curses, dispatches the Lust in front of his face with a nice centre shot of Blue Rose and barely whirls out of the way of the sharp blades.

"Why the fuck are they not going after you?!" Nero shouts back, nailing the demon in the head with a spectral claw and killing two more Slots in the same move.

Nice. He is getting really good with that trigger of his.

"Hm?" Dante arches into an awesome feeling backbend and looks at the kid upside down. "Oh. Ward."

"What?" Nero cries, jumping halfway across the room to skewer a Marionette.

Dante paddles his hands along the floor so he can keep him in his sight without having to twist weirdly. "Ward. You know, those magic things that keep demons in or out. Very cool stuff."

"By the saviour, I want to sock you so much right now."

"Don't hit the poor kidnapee, Nero. That's just bad form and counterproductive. You are supposed to help me, not hinder me."

"Kidnapee my ass. You could have walked out of here and been done with it hours ago. But instead I now have to deal with all this shit while you are lazy and do whatever it is you're doing over there."

"Aww, does the poor sheltered church boy not know what pole dancing is?"

"A what now?" Nero asks absently, reloading his gun.

Dante really needs to get him to stop using physical bullets. It's so unstylish having to reload all the time. Dante rightfully stopped doing that when he was seventeen and has never looked back. 

But that's all beside the rather more pressing point here.

"Wait," Dante asks and actually heaves himself up properly for this, clamping his tights and shins to the pole so he is sitting upright on it. "You actually don't know what this is?"

Nero doesn't even have the decency to look shamed by this tragic lack of knowledge. "No, Dante. I don't know why you are currently whirling around on a pole like a mad man. Please, feel free to enlighten me instead of actually helping me with this fucking fight!"

Dante blinks at him, floored. He knows that Nero hasn't had the most worldly upbringing, what with the churchy cult and all. But there is no way this hasn't come up in all the years he has known the kid, right? He and the ladies are all very happy visitors to the Love Planet, frequently spending their evening outings there. At least they did before Dante got distracted by Vergil coming back and getting to spend most of his evenings with his brother now.

Did they seriously never take the kid with them?

He does not doubt, of course, that Nero didn't go out of his way himself to get to know the more enjoyable parts of life, cloistered little church boy that he still is despite all of Dante's best efforts to the contrary. Got to him too late, sadly.

"What?!" Nero snaps angrily, when Dante just silently stares for too long.

Well now.

Should he really pop the poor boy's little bubble of innocence? It's so rare for a young man to preserve this much naiveté nowadays. It's precious, really.

He shouldn't. Really. He shouldn't.

Ah, who is Dante kidding. Torturing the kid it is.

"Well, dear nephew. When a man, or indeed anyone, wants to have themselves some fun time, they go to a thing called a strip club-"

Nero shrieks and then squawks loudly enough to drown out even the demon roars, his ears flushing a bright red. He whirls around to turn his back on Dante and demonstrably revs his motorbike sword to drown out Dante's voice.

Hah. Dante is not so easily dissuaded and also knows his nephew has just as sharp ears as his own. The kid will hear him just fine over any noise. He blithely continues on in his education of the joys of the nightlife.

"- and if they like what they see, they use money to buy themselves some nice services-"

When the sword is all revved out and therefore doesn't work as a cover anymore, Nero uses the loud bangs of his guns until he runs out of bullets again. After that, with a glowering look of rage in Dante's direction, he smashes demons around until they howl and growl.

"- and then everyone is indeed very, very happy," Dante ends, knowing exactly how much of that lecture the kid has heard against his will by the way he is now completely red in the face and twitching. Dante is sure he can see steam if he looks close enough.

"Also, nephew, please, stop using bullets. It's so terribly embarrassing."

"I have never in my life seen you embarrassed. You don't even know what shame is, you ass. Stop playing around. I like physical bullets and you know it."

"So unstylish," Dante laments, making a fan with his legs while he rolls his hips up the pole to get higher up again.

He keeps slipping while he sits despite his best efforts. Now that is actually truly embarrassing. He used to be much better at this. "This is Verge's influence, isn't it. He never liked guns and also refuses to use energy bullets if I don't force him. What a cruelly dull family I have."

"Oh shut up, you ass." Nero grouses, finally killing off the last demon with a too violent kick that chucks it straight through the big double doors in the back. Which does nicely take care of their exit, splintering the heavy wood apart. "And get off your stupid bean bole. I want to get home before Vergil eats all the lasagne Kyrie is making."

Dante freezes in the middle of a luxurious upside down split. "...Lasagne?"

"Yes, old man. Lasagne. Which she's making just for you, since she heard you got waylaid. Don't know why she is so nice to your annoying ass." Nero grumbles grumpily, fishing around the last few dissolving carcasses for orbs.

Dante's palette may have once only included pizza and sundaes, but he has been forced to expand on it with the sudden return of his twin into his life. Vergil is a curious mix of picky and undiscerning in matters of food and Dante, eating most his meals with him nowadays, bears the brunt of his experimenting in the kitchen. One such new inclusions is Kyrie's lasagne, though, which is divine and perfect and something that Vergil also rather likes a lot. Which is a problem, considering this means Dante has to fight for his fair share before his brother eats it all mercilessly.

He abruptly lets go of the pole, twists to land lightly on his feet and then trickster dashes to the door in two long slides. 

"Well, nephew? What are you waiting for? Chop chop! We need to get home."

Nero throws him an unimpressed glower. It makes him look very much like his father. Where that once was painful to look at now it only makes Dante want to laugh at them both.  But the kid does pick up his pace, anyway. After all, he too very much loves the lasagne and always eagerly joins the fray in the food hoarding fight they all engage in when it's on the table.

----

Here is the series this will eventually get posted to. Another story about Trish and Lady rescuing Dante coming up soon!

[inconvenient-stuff]

Seeing as Dante does not want to scare the kids senseless with his devil trigger and wrangling tree children onto a motorcycle with him does not sound like any fun at all, they end up taking a boat to the mainland and a car afterwards. It's not really his preferred method of transport, way too slow and clunky for his tastes, but needs must. He isn't chancing any trains or heaven forbid, air planes. Not with the Sparda luck and demon attracting blood.

They garner a lot of suspicious looks, though thankfully no one actually approaches him about it. Dante is not in the mood to try to explain how he is totally not kidnapping three kids from their home. Especially as that is kinda exactly what he is doing. It's really distressing how much kidnapping he is currently involved in. He would like this to stop now.

The teenager, Dante has since learned his name is Credo and he's pretty sure he never actually heard that name before, dragged them to his home before Dante could take off with Nero alone. Something about not letting little kids go alone with strangers, even nominally related ones. 

Ok. Fine. Whatever. Dante can deal with that. And by that, he meant some kind of adult supervision to squabble with, before he could skedaddle with his darling little nephew.

He has no clue how that turned into having three bite sized kiddos yapping at his heels now, instead of just the one he came for. Especially as there is no other accompanying adult to help with child wrangling, which means this is now his sole responsibility. Dante shudders at the thought and buys the kids a bag of candy each, in an effort to alleviate some of the vague panic swimming in his gut.

Children like candy, right? Right.

[inconvenient-stuff]

Dante's bored. Obviously, this means he can't be held accountable for what happens next. (Dante gets to have a nice little outing and gives his kidnappers awkward boners about it. Then he lazes about waiting until he is rescued like a proper damsel in distress.)

[inconvenient-stuff]

New Installement of the time travel twins is going to take a bit longer, the first two scenes don't want to work out properly right now. They are written but they just don't feel right yet.

So have a little snipped of the story the cowboy Vergil dream comes from.

----

"Those were not Cthulhu monsters, Dante. They were just this world's octopi."

"Suuuure they were. The big one definitely had more than eight tentacles, Verge. Cthulhu imposter, tentacle monster, deep sea abomination, whatever. Patty showed me some Japanese horror porn once, you know. It looked exactly like that."

Vergil stares at him for a long moment while they walk along the cliff, not quite believing those words have just left his twin's mouth. Sometimes the asides about Dante's life make Vergil question the sanity of every single person that has ever stepped foot into Devil May Cry. "No. Do not talk to me about Japanese horror porn ever again."

"We could go back and find out, you know," Dante shrugs and makes to turn around. "Catch the Cthulhu monster and count the tentacles."

Vergil ignores it and deliberately marches on. He has had enough of sea creatures for a week, thank you very much. "You were the one who didn't want to catch it. In fact, I distinctly remember you making retching noises about it."

"Seafood is disgusting, Verge. The texture is all weird. I don't like it. We are not eating weird Cthulhu wannabes."

"Cthulhu would not be classified as seafood. Ergo it is an octopus."

"That's it. We are going back and counting the tentacles."

"We are not getting sidetracked again. We saw the town and we are going to the town. I want to sleep in a bed," Vergil declares, lengthening his stride in an effort to discourage his unruly twin.

"Ooooh, now you want your creature comforts," Dante responds snottily, demonstrably just barely not keeping pace and falling back. It is utterly aggravating. "You didn't seem to mind when we were slumming it in hell and I wanted pizza."

"But pizza is such a boring food, Dante. I would rather have octopus."

Dante freezes and when Vergil looks back to see the spoils of his victory, he is greeted by the most agonized expression he has ever seen on his twin. It is delightful to behold.

"...you monster. I can't believe I even like you. I should disown you for that," Dante cries dramatically, hand over his heart before he points it abruptly at Vergil. "Also, it so was a Cthulhu wannabe, not an octopus."

Vergil scowls, victory spoiled. "No. It was not."

"Are you sure you even like sea food, mister fish hater? I saw you make a face when we were at that market with father and he looked over the mussels. You just don't want to admit I'm right."

"Because you are not."

"Am so."

"Are not."

"Am so."

"Not."

"So."

"No," Vergil sniffs, disdainful at how very wrong his brother is. "You are so clearly wrong it is not even worth arguing with you about it."

"Well, what are ya gonna do about it, huh?" Dante grins widely, mischief and challenge suddenly dancing bright in his eyes.

Oh, is that it?

Fine.

Vergil is perfectly happy to stab his twin over this.