incorrect-dnd-hat-quotes - Tumblr blog

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Doric: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Doric: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

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Holga: I refuse to apologize for being weird or off-putting. That’s actually your problem. I’m having a fantastic time!

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Edgin, staring upwards: So, Xenk broke up with me… haha…

Holga: Why are you looking up?

Edgin: I need to cry, but my foundation was 48 dollars!

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Edgin: Xenk, you love me, right?

Xenk: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

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Edgin: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?

Doric, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

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Xenk: What do you three have to say for yourself?

Edgin:

Holga:

Simon: Oops?

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Holga: Hey, Xenk, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Xenk: Yeah.

Holga: And you, Edgin?

Edgin: Umm... yes?

Holga: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Edgin: Did they just-

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Edgin, on the phone: Uh. . Hey, Holga, i uh, I’ve been stabbed.

Xenk: WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU?

Edgin: Wait- You aren’t Holga. Sorry- I didn’t mean to call you-

Xenk: NO, WHERE ARE YOU? IM COMING THERE. IM NOT GOING TO LEAVE SOMEONE ALONE THATS BEEN STABBED.

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Simon: Is the pink panther a lion?

Doric: Say that again but slower.

Simon: I don’t get it.

Doric: He’s a PANTHER.

Simon: Is that a type of lion?

Doric: No, it’s a fucking panther.

Simon: *googles panther* They aren’t pink?

Doric: AND LIONS ARE?!

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Holga: Question, how difficult would it be to bowl in a bee suit?

Simon: Not that hard, I don't think, as long as you can move.

Edgin: I'd assume as hard as it is to bowl in a maid outfit.

Edgin: Wouldn't be any harder, but you'd get some WEIRD looks.

Doric: Are. Are you speaking from experience.

Edgin: No!

Edgin:

Edgin: ....Maybe.

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Xenk: Are you busy?

Edgin: No.

Xenk: Want to do something?

Edgin: Why would you try to ruin this for me?

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Xenk, watching Holga do something stupid: Edgin, you're officially only the second highest risk here.

Edgin: Hell yeah! I'm gonna—

Xenk: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.

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Edgin: It’s Pride Month, you know what that means!

Kira: I get to eat as many Skittles as I want?

Edgin: What? No! What has Holga been telling you?

Holga, walking in, pouring Skittles into their mouth: Taste the rainbow, bitch.

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Doric: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours!

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Simon: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Xenk: We're chopsticks!

Simon: Well... that's cute!

Simon: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

Edgin: No, it means that if you take one away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

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Xenk: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Edgin!

Edgin: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

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Doric: Are you okay?

Simon, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Doric: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Simon?