incorrect-omgcp-frogs - Tumblr blog

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Dex : [pulls back the shower curtain to reveal the Stanley Cup] Dex: Nurse! Nursey: Ch’yeah? Dex: Can you come to the bathroom, please? Nursey: [arrives at a near run] Dex: Is that the real Stanley Cup? Nursey: That’s precisely what I’m trying to determine. Several days ago, whilst browsing auction sites on the Dark Web, I came across a listing for the Dominion Hockey Challenge Cup, aka Lord Stanley’s Cup. I was skeptical as to the Cup’s provenance, so I bought it. Dex: Why would you buy it if you were skeptical-? Nursey: The Cup has humble beginnings. It started off as a mere bowl. In 1927, long narrow bands were added and then replaced by uneven bands in 1947. The original bowl is in the vault in the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto. The Hall also keeps a near-perfect duplicate on hand. “The Presentation Cup,” if indeed this is the genuine article, is here. Dex: Wait a second, are you interested in hockey history? Nursey: What I’m *into*, Dexton, is the possibility that the Cup was stolen. It travels under the constant supervision of its keeper, so opportunities to nick it are mad rare. If it is the real Cup, I shall return it to the National Hockey League with all due haste. If not, we have a new tub juice bowl for kegsters. Dex: And the reason it’s in the tub is? Nursey: C and I were measuring water displacement to determine the Cup’s density. Now it’s just drying. Dex: Mmm Nursey, realizing Dex is dressed for taking a shower: It can dry elsewhere.

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Dex: There's plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? Trash. There is a lot of trash in the sea.

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Dex: [Entering the subway] Nurse, you've lived here your whole life. Why do think so many New Yorkers feel the need to combine public transportation with public urination? Nursey: You know, it's part of the charm.

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Bitty: I have what some might call a strong personality. Nursey: [Sarcastically] Nahhh.

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Nursey: [Referring to having helped Dex] What's the problem? Dex: I told you to stay out of it. Nursey: Because we are linemates, and nothing more. Dex: Right. Nursey: Well, I thought long and hard about that, Dex, and after many, many hours I've come to the most wretched of realizations. One that might curdle your very blood. You are my friend.

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Nursey: Agatha is not in love with me. Dex: Oh, then what's the problem? Nursey: She's asked for a donation. Dex: What, to an environmental group? Nursey: To her uterus. She has asked for my... issue.

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Bitty: We traded private messages, started flirting. He came over for a while last night. We were... you know? Chowder: You can say having sex; we're both adults.

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Dex: Why are those guys bringing a python into the haus? Chowder: It's gone now.

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Dex: You want company? Nursey: No thank you. Dex: How about some ice cream? You know, it's stuff that people eat when they're feeling a little down. Nursey: I have everything I need right here. Dex: Okay. [he gets up and starts to leave] Nursey: Oh - what kind of ice cream? Dex: I'll bring you a couple of choices.

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Dex: That's the sex blanket. Chowder: I have asked you not to call it that. Dex: Who is she, and what time is she coming over?

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Chowder: Where are you going? Dex: Walk. Chowder: It should trouble me, right? How often I believe that.

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Dex: First of all, I don't mean to be rude, but your computers suck.

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Tango: You can get high off nutmeg? Shitty: I can't say it's a particularly satisfying experience, but yeah.

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Chowder: Your romantic inclinations are not a flaw to be corrected, they are a trait to be accepted.

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Dex: Paranoia is the byproduct of being consistently right.

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Nursey: Feel free if you'd like to take a moment to admire the beauty of this poem, 'cause I've done so several times already myself.

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Nursey: You said you didn't set Dex up with your friend from Denmark. I want to believe you. Chowder: Well, I encourage you to do just that then.