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Scar: Hey, wanna take a shower with me? Mumbo: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

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Scar, on the phone: So no head? Scar: Throws phone and breaks skateboard

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Scar: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine. Mumbo: Marry me.

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Mumbo: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Scar: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Mumbo: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Scar: Is it working?

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Scar, in Mumbo’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night? Mumbo, knocking Scar off: WHAT THE HELL?! Scar: Ow— Mumbo: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor! Scar: I had a nightmare. Mumbo: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old? Scar: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there- Mumbo, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL! Scar: That is not what I meant— Mumbo: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground! Scar: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too. Mumbo: Yeah, okay- Scar: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night? Mumbo: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while. Scar, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed! Mumbo: I did not consent to this- Scar, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden! Mumbo, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s six-foot-one, he’s got red hair. Scar: Ask them if they have one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs. I’ll put it on the door next time we… do it. Mumbo: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me. Scar: Oh, maybe together we could— Mumbo: NO. Scar: Just to save water— Mumbo: No! You don’t even pay for the water! Scar: …Good point.

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Not much of a pinned post but thought we should add one

Inbox/Requests: OPEN

Redscape Community:

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Scar: The stars are so beautiful… Mumbo: They're just giant balls of gas. Scar: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then- Mumbo: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you. Scar: Oh…

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I NEED A PART 3 TO THIS I NEED THE HAPPY ENDING

I HOPE TO FIND ONE

Mumbo: Ugh, crushes are so dumb. Scar: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid. Mumbo: But you’re always acting stupid? Scar: … Scar: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

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Inbox is now open for you all :)

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🥺

Thank you anon so much omg laidjsndajciaodoakd

Dude I love nice anons!!!

Fuck it I’m opening my inbox 😭😭

@dragonflavoredcake @incorrectmeangills @incorrect-redscape for their incorrect quotes! Seriously, you guys make me crack up and brighten my mood everytime i see one of you

@dragonflavoredcake + @incorrectmeangills + @incorrect-redscape !!!

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I found a part 2

Scar: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid. Mumbo: You always act stupid. Mumbo: Mumbo: Wait…

Mumbo: Ugh, crushes are so dumb. Scar: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid. Mumbo: But you’re always acting stupid? Scar: … Scar: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

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Scar: Two bros! Scar: Chillin' in a hot tub! Scar: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

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Scar: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? Mumbo: Yes? Scar: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. Mumbo: Fuck. Scar: It's gonna be a fun week! Mumbo: I'm going to Grian’s's house. Scar: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.

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Mumbo: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Scar: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

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Scar: We should be partners. Mumbo: You mean like, partners in crime? Scar: Yeah… that’s precisely what I meant.

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Joel: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car? Mumbo: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Scar, deer!" Joel: …And what did Scar do? Mumbo: …He said "Yes, Honey?"

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Mumbo: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might. Scar: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-