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*Scag and Lampert are in the elevator, Scag looks displeased*

Scag: mmmMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNnnnn!!!

Scag: I need a girl to kiss. Xb

Lampert: Do you think that just because you're a lesbian, it makes that snetance any less pathetic?

Scag:...

Scag: 😠 *that one meme angry sound plays*

Scag: Listen here you goopy snoobert.

Honestly, sure

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Folly: Woman?

Folly: Hmhmhm... no, no, you misheard.

Folly: I'm an omen.

100%

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(Here's more STATler and WalZorp that nobody asked for! As yuou can, I cam eup with this idea quite a while ago.)

STAT: A collab with... what?

Gnarpy: An "object zhow"... apparently. Don't worry, I don't get it either.

STAT: What does that even mean? What is it just a show about.. random things?

Gnarpy: From what i've obzerved they zeem to be about anthropormorphic talking objectz being put through rigorouz, zometimez zopidianly abzurd and fuitile challengez for the zake of a grand prize.

STAT: ...

Gnarpy: ...

STAT: ...that sounds incomprehensibly dumb.

Gnarpy: Yez, I completely agree.

STAT: are they really just called object shows. Are they really that uncreative.

Gnarpy: well, don't azzume STAT! There'z actually a very likely chance that it could ztand for zomething!

STAT: Like what.

Gnarpy: OBJECT-IVELY BAD ZHOWZ!

STAT: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Gnarpy: ZHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(disclaimer, I actually really liked, and still do enjoy, object shows, this is for theatrical purposes only)

Oh I love this interaction lol

(has never watched any object shows before but knows people who are into them (and also knows systems with fictives whose origins are object shows))

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Emerson: Mr Beef wants us to head to The Heights to collect an unpaid bill

Gregoriah: The Heights? Wow! This is gonna be wuch a fun trip!

NULL: I AM NOT PAYING EIGHTEEN DOLLARS FOR A BURGER

Emerson: YOUR TAB IS DUE.

LOL

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Pilby: when the cashier gives you back your change and your puttting it away and you can't do it fast enough and suddenly they're holding out your shopping bag and you have no hands and the coins are dropping to the ground and the bag goes up in flames and the cashier is crying and your crying and the walllet is screaming and you're descending into hell!....

Oh gods 😭

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*Biv e is ranting about one of her crazy conspiracys, pointing one of those pointer-stick-thingys at a board deatailing everything she's talking about, everyone else is sat at desks in front of her.*

BIve: -THE INTERDIMENSIONAL REPTILIAN SHAPESHIFTING C.I.A MANTIDS ARE CAUSING A.I MOSSAD DEEPFAKE FALSE FLAGS BY MASONIC PREDICTIVE PROGRAM HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE WEATHER MANIPULATION MONSANTO FLUORIDE TRAILS TO DISTRACT MOLOCH CRISIS ACTORS...

Bive: (Overly long breath in)

Infected: (fully asleep)

Lampert: (confused beyound believe)

Pilby: (is intimidated by how many words she's shouting out in such quick succession)

Pest: (thinking about when she'll turn around so he can leave when she's not looking, debating on just killing her)

Split: (The only one actually paying attention and listening)

Bive: FROM THE FACT THAT FAKE NEWS ALIENS ARE HOLLOW AND THAT THE SANDY HOOK LANDING NEVER HAPPENED,

Bive: SO, THEY, CAN CONTINUE TO USE C.E.R.N VACCINES TO HARVEST GANGSTALKER JESUIT ADRENOCHROME FROM OUR KALI YUGA COVID-19 PINEAL GLANDS FOR CHINESE NANOCHIP ASTRAL PROJECTION REMOTELY THROUGH DEMONIC V2K 5G TECHNOLOGY FROM THE BLACK CUBE H.A.A.R.P HEXAGON ON TOP OF SATAN!!!

Bive: (hyperventalating)

Bive: (still hyperventalating)

Bive (yep, still hyperventalating)

Bive: Thank you for coming to my T.E.D Talk.

The ramblerrrrr

You can’t convince me that she WOULDN’T do this

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can't believe I have to make a post like this but please do not send quotes that either imply or directly mention pedophilia

use your common sense and think before you send something, that is a VERY disturbing topic for not only me but others too

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STAT: People like you are all like "I can't take this anymore, Iwanna die." like a broken goddamn record, but when a buncha murderous clowns come over to your house, SUDDENLY you're screaming like a coyote and running for your life.

STAT: Hypocrite, you are.

Bive: Listen, the day I like the Clowns get the last laugh and stab me to death is the day I die, you HEATHEN!

STAT: ...well... yeah, that's how being stabbed to death works.

Bive: DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME, YOU FIEND! WHAT IS SPLIT HEARS THIS!?

STAT: She's not even in the elevator with us.

Bive: oh..... right............. unless.... IS SHE IN THE WALLS!? Wait no, she would never monitor me for malicious reasons... right?-

STAT (tired of her already): I think now would be your cue to get off and leave us intellegent people with a bit of piece of mind. Okay? Okay. :)

Bive: You can't dissuade me from staying here and finding the truth hidden behind your lies that easi-

STAT (trying to get bive to leave): OH MY GOD A CLOWN WITH A MACHETTE!

Bive (running out the elevator and into the floor it landed on that ,being funny maze): NOOOooo- (ran away into the walls of the maze)

STAT: Idiot...

Oh my gods

my favorite character (and favorite canon muse) getting bullied... 😭

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Okay, I'll bite.

Spud!: Eugh.... Remember kids!

Sebastian: Say it with us now:

Both: Sharing trauma is better than sharing life choices!

I managed to read this with both Sebastian's voice and an attempt at thinking up a voice for Spud in mind 😭

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Mach: Is it "For fuck's sake" or "For fuck sake"?

Mach: It's for a work email so it has to sound professional.

Honestly if Roblox's filter wasn't a problem I'd love to actually see something like that in-game

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Ok, time for something completely different:

*on the Curse Cove floor*

Player: Woah! This shop has so many cool looking things!

Barb: Yes... But I must warn you... every item comes with a price...

Player: Yes, I know how shops work.

Barb: I-... Well, the price... may be more than you expect to pay.....

Player: Y-Yes, I.. know how US taxes work to.

Barb (getting increasingly exasperated): You-........ Look, I'm trying to crypticaly tell you that: I'm morally apathetic, I don't care about you and I only care about the money you'll give me, and I'm selling you these items with no regard with the harm they will do!

Player (also getting exasperated(clenching their teeth)): I know... what capatalism is as well, goddamn it.

sounds about right lol

also seeing quotes with NPCs who don't speak in-game is fun (/gen)

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In that case, have a second! This time it's an original idea!

Gnarpy: WHY THE FLARX ARE THOSE GLEROBBIAN MORONZ THAT CALL THEMZELVEZ THE ROBLOX "DEVELOPMENT" TEAM, CHANGING EVERYTHING ABOUT THEIR BRAND TO THE COLOUR BLUE, AFTER ZTICKING WITH RED FOR ZO! GLORPING! LONG!

STAT: Well, If you ask me, I think blue just fits their corperation's brand a lot more.

Gnarpy: IN WHAT FEAZIBLE WAY?!!!!

STAT: Simple! Red symbolises passion and love, which they have none of! And blue sympolises depression, gloom and sadness; which their stupid, worthless changes give to everyone!

Gnarpy: ZHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

STAT: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

on top of this, to paraphrase some things people in a server I'm in said, blue is also a more "corporate" color, while red is more fun

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(I can really imagine STAT and Gnarpy having a Statler and Waldorf type dynamic, so here is one direct quote from them! (with alteration by me))

STAT: You know Gnarpy, I've always wondered why Bive keeps rambling so much about life on other planets. Guess now I know!

Gnarpy: Well, it IZ still quite ztrange. Espcially conzidering she doesn't have any life on this one!

STAT: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

Gnarpy: ZHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh I can 100% see this

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Gnarpy: You know one thing that people don't realize about me that really zirkilz me off?

Gnarpy: Juzt because I'm non-binary doezn't mean that I'm gender neutral!

Gnarpy: I'm actually exztremely gender evil!

*smash cut to xem burning down a retirement home or some crazy gender evil stuff like that*

Helpppp 😭

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Here's one I've always wanted to do:

*on Fleshcousin's floor, you know the one*

Bive (talking to Split): Who's "Granny Smith"? And where is she getting all of these DAMN APPLES?!

Flesh Cosuin (bursting out of their cake): FUN FACT!

Flesh Cousin (stepping/melting off the table): Granny Smith is nabed aftr Marea Am Smift,,,

Flesh Cousin: frugh huh dibrack blarn eat showegh whale snert,,,

Bive and split: ...

Flesh Cousin: Yargh hugh mort B!

Flesh Cousin: b...

Flesh Cousin: hhngh... .. .. ..... ... . ..

Bive and Split: ......

Flesh Cousin: ...j! :)

Bive and Split: .........

Split (trying to be polite): Each day I learn some more! :)

Split: Thank you... for the share!...

Flesh Cousin: J.

can we make this canon (/silly)

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Infected: C4N 1 G3T 4 "HELL YEAH!"?!!!

Dr Retro: *in her best teacher voice* I don't know, can you?

Infected: *groan* M4y 1 g3t 4 "HELL YEAH!"?

Dr Retro: You should have gotten a "HELL YEAH!" during the break before class started.

Infected: 8ut 1 d1dn't N33E3E3d 4 "HELL YEAH!" dur1nG 7he bR3ak!

infected: 1 Ne3d a "HELL YEAH!" n0w!

Dr Retro: Too bad. You should've had nthe foresight to get a "HELL YEAH!" before the break ended. Now, you'll just have to wait until the bell rings like the rest of us.

Infected: uggGGggg66gH!!!....

Infected: 7h1s 1s s0 s4d,,, M4Y we g3t 5 l1kEs?

Dr Retro: Don't test me.

Yeah that sounds like something Infected would do lol

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Melanie: Robots in the sky? This is jist like this dream i had- about robots, in the sky!

Infected: Tell it to us in excruciating detail, Mel!

Melanie: Well it was a whole dream- BYE!

Why does that sound like something that would happen lol