incorrect-wolf-pack

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Paul: You can trust me! Let’s not forget who pulled you out of that river when you were 14.

Jared: let’s not forget who pushed me in

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Quil: Right now, a baby is being born. Right now, someone just clogged a public toilet and is running out of the stall as fast as they can. Life goes on.

Embry: … I hope that wasn’t the same person.

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Jacob: I once got a haircut I deeply regretted

Leah: Is it the one you have now?

Jacob: No.

Leah: Well, it should be.

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Emily: Why do people keep saying they make a mean dish? Why’s it gotta be mean, why does everything have to be evil?? So much hate in the world :(

Jared: I make a tender, caring roast chicken that’ll kiss you so much

Paul: I make a mac and cheese so good you could fuck it

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Leah: I'm super excited for the pack dinner on Sunday, you know?

Seth: Why?

Leah: I just feel like it's going to be a shitshow and I honestly can't wait

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Sam: Would you call me selfish?

Paul: Probably not to your face.

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Seth: *hugs Sam, inhaling deeply* you smell like a father figure.

Sam: I am literally begging you to stop.

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Quil: I noticed we have slowly started to phase the ‘B’ out of our bromance

Embry, down on one knee, ring still out: I mean, yeah, I guess

[incorrect-wolf-pack]

Sam: - and where the hell is Leah?

Paul: Well, it is raining. Maybe she melted.

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Sam: Are you going to explain what’s going on here?

Jared: It’s kind of complicated, but Paul -

Sam: Got it. Forget I asked.

[incorrect-wolf-pack]

Leah: Look, I know that the two of us don’t get along, but I decided to get you this bath bomb as a peace offering. Whenever you feel stressed, just run yourself a hot bath and throw this in. I promise, all your worries will be gone in seconds.

Sam: Leah, this is a toaster.

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Jacob: Do you think I should -

Quil: Please don’t ask me if you should or should not do something. Before I am a friend I am an enabler

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Kim: What are you implying about my cooking skills?

Emily: That they're non-existent.

Kim: … I didn't think it was possible to be as rude as you are being right now.

Emily: And I didn't think it was possible to barbecue brownies so I guess we're all learning.

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Jacob: let’s talk about some of the emotions you may be feeling right now.

Leah: stabbing.

Jacob: stabbing is more of an activity

Jacob: that I hope you don't do to me.

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Embry: Uh, Quil, can I ask you a question?

Quil: Yeah.

Embry: Why are we laying on the ground?

Quil: You got knocked out, so I laid down next to you so people would just think we were chilling.

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Leah: I wanted to apologize -

Sam: Wow, Leah. That's really -

Leah: Let me finish. I said I wanted to. And then I realized I'm not sorry.

[incorrect-wolf-pack]

Paul: Rich people have such unrelatable problems, like... Cullen. The doctor one. Jacob told me that he was saying one of his biggest worries is poor people throwing themselves in front of his car so they can sue him.

Paul: And I’m like, Jacob, literally no one can relate to that. Tell him that I have real problems.

Paul: Like how he keeps swerving to avoid me.