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zenitsu: im into dark humor

tanjirou: [turns off light] would you like to hear a joke

zenitsu: i love you

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tanjirou: zenitsu, truth or dare?

zenitsu: truth

tanjirou: i dare you to kiss me

zenitsu: [leans in]

kanao: he didnt even pick dare

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zenitsu: do you ever shut up

tanjirou: not often

tanjirou: but if you were to kiss me i guarantee at least an hour of quiet

kanao: yeah cause hed faint right afterwards

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zenitsu: you cant make everyone like you, youre not tanjirou!

kanao: what? not everyone likes tanjirou

zenitsu: who doesnt

kanao: well -

zenitsu: names, kanao, i need names

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kanao: so i heard you like bad boys

tanjirou: ???

kanao: if thats true you should date my friend zenitsu

kanao: hes bad at everything

zenitsu:

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zenitsu: do you still see me as just a friend?

tanjirou: we're literally married

zenitsu: yeah but did you marry me as a friend or as a husband? unclear

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tanjirou: darling look! i found this shampoo that says no more tears :D

zenitsu: [grabs bottle and chugs it]

tanjirou:

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tanjirou: hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?

zenitsu: what have you done

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tanjirou: [walks in wearing regular clothes]

zenitsu: i would pay you to run me over with a car and step on me and spit on me -

kanao: i just feel like some of that money should go towards therapy instead -

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zenitsu: so whats your type

tanjirou: cute, blond, strong thighs, a crybaby, likes peaches, can use breath of thunder, a year older than me, loud

zenitsu:

zenitsu: i feel like youre trying to tell me something but i have no idea what it is

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tanjirou: fist me

zenitsu: [panicked] i - what the fuck?!?¿

tanjirou: [holds hand up for fist bump]

zenitsu: okay thats what you - right, okay, jesus fucking christ -

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tanjirou: we need a distraction. are any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises

zenitsu: my time has come

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zenitsu: [sleeping]

tanjirou: aw, hes so peaceful

inosuke: [opening sharpie] and vulnerable

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zenitsu: this is crazy

tanjirou: has that ever stopped us before?

zenitsu: i really wish it would

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kanao: we cant let you do that

tanjirou: and how are you going to stop me

nezuko: we'll call your husband

tanjirou: [quietly] fuck

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tanjirou texting inosuke: i just walked into the party and someone yelled dibs

zenitsu texting kanao: KANAO IM REALLY DRUMMK AND I FUCKEF UP SOME HOT GUY WALKED IN AND I YELED DIBS

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zenitsu: tanjirou i like you more than just a friend

tanjirou: [excited] like a best friend??