incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Lily: “Yugiri, you don’t have to sign your name on texts!! XD”

Yugiri: “Dear Lily,”

Yugiri: “Suggestion noted.”

Yugiri: “Sincerely, Yugiri.”

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Junko: “I want a baby.”

Ai: “We’re lesbians.”

—————

Sakura: “I want a baby.”

Saki: “Give me a week.”

Saki: “What color?”

—————

Sakura: “I want a baby.”

Maimai: “Oh. Just to hang out with?”

—————

Yugiri: “I want a baby.”

Kiichi: “No.”

Yugiri: “Oh, okay.”

Kiichi: “Wait, don’t ask another guy. I’ll do it.”

—————

Maria: “I want a baby.”

Misa: “We only have like $12 combined.”

—————

Tae: “A ra raaugh.” (I want a baby.)

Kotaro: “For lunch?”

Kotaro: “You already have the dog.”

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Lily, talking to Romero as he walks away from her: “You’ve got this, Romero. Make them wait for it…”

Romero: *stops and looks back at her.*

Lily: “Boom!”

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Ai: "Welcome to the Fuck Kotaro Tatsumi Club, where we give a big "Fuck you!" to that asshole, Kotaro Tatsumi. Before we begin, let’s hear a word from our newest member."

Sakura, sweating: "Okay so there may have been a misunderstanding..."

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

The Franchouchou girls, getting the “gal pal” and “cisheteronormatic” treatment or hearing other rumors about them after their official death.

Someone: “As you can see here, Mizuno Ai was photographed many times holding hands with different women. It’s fair to assume that she was a fairly affectionate person to everyone.”

The real Mizuno Ai, who wouldn’t touch Saki with a ten foot pole if she could avoid it: “What?”

Someone: “Even more interesting are some of the music she would write. This piece was called Aphrodite. It’s a soft ballad that describes the bodies of women in various poetic forms. Ai likely wrote this as an expression of platonic love for her friends.”

The real Mizuno Ai, who knows exactly how gay that song gets: “What.”

Someone: “Lastly, we have an old press interview featuring Ai. The interviewer questions Ai about her love life, where in she replies that ‘I am not interested in boys.”

The real Mizuno Ai : “…”

Someone: “Obviously, she was saying that she wasn’t interested in romantic relationships at the time in order to focus on her career because she was a very heterosexual young woman.”

The real Mizuno Ai : “What is wrong with you!?”

——————————————————————————

Someone: “Wow I wonder why Go Masao always went out in public dressed like a girl. I guess no one will ever know. It’s forever a mystery.”

Lily: *stares at the camera like she’s on the office

——————————————————————————

Someone: “Konno Junko never had a boyfriend and stated many times she prefered the company of women. Clearly, she was just living the idol life and saving herself for marriage.”

The real Konno Junko: “W-Well, the idol part is true…”

Someone else: “She always rejected any boys who approached her. Clearly, she was a cold person who had no love in her heart.”

The real Konno Junko, tearing up: “… what…?”

Someone else: “I heard Konno Junko slept her way to the top.”

The real Konno Junko, her voice cracking: “I-I… J-Jokes on you, I… haven’t even kissed anyone! HA!

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Gender neutral options for addressing a crowd

Lily: “Guys, gals, and non-binary pals”

Sakura: “Fellow humans”

Ai: “Persons of the audience”

Junko: “Distinguished guests”

Saki: “Members of the jury”

Yugiri: “All you who got dressed up for no reason”

Kotaro: “Brain owners”

Tae: "Braaarg." (Bitches.)

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Saki: "Today I'm going to help a couple get together"

Sakura: "Oh, that's so nice, Saki! How are you going to do that?"

Saki: "Like this."

Saki: *Plays a loud thunder sound effect from her phone.*

Ai, jumping 3 feet off of the couch: "Gah!!!"

Junko, having a girl land in her lap and start holding onto her for dear life: "E-E-EH!?!?"

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Lily: “Tell Saki to ask Sakura out.”

Ai: “What? No. Sakura never did anything bad to me.”

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Romero: *Sticks his head between the door and the frame so it can’t be closed*

Tae: “Arrarg.” (You can’t go.)

Romero: *Looks on with puppy dog eyes as tries to push out the door*

Tae, trying to push him back in by his nose: “Graah!” (No!)

Romero: *Whines as his head falls off and rolls out the door*

Tae, laughing: “Ar garg Aughurd! (I’m sorry, you can’t go!)

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Saki, approaching with neatly combed hair in an outfit that Yugiri probably picked out for her, holding Romero lovingly: “So are you into girls with big hearts?”

Sakura, looking over at her peculiarly: “Uh, no? Honestly, I’ve always enjoyed the idea of bad girls more.”

Saki: “…”

Saki: *Drops Romero to turn her hat around backwards and put a foot up on a chair to lean on.*

Saki, with a dangerous grin: “Well today’s your lucky day!”

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Lily: “I made this friendship bracelet for you.”

Saki: “You know, I'm not really a jewelry person.”

Lily: “You don't have to wear it.”

Saki, defensively: “No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off.”

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Saki: you actually believe kotaro's crap? next you're gonna tell me that you think santa is real!

Junko, holding back tears: w-what do you mean? Santa isn't real?

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Yugiri: “Google-han. Please stop informing me that there are ‘hot sluts’ in my area.”

Yugiri: “I am aware.”

Yugiri: “I possess a mirror.”

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Lily: “I need an adult.”

Kotaro: “What is it?”

Lily: “I need a responsible adult.”

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Kotaro, on the phone: “Mr Ookoba, my daughter would not do such a thing therefore after.”

Kotaro, turning from the phone and whispering angrily: “Lily, did you fucking do that therefore after?”

Kotaro, back on the phone hearing what happened: “Oh my god! Lily!!!”

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Junko: “Did you hang out with Shiori last night?”

Ai: “You know, yeah, I did.”

Junko: “Oh…”

Junko: “I love Shiori.”

Ai: “You hate Shiori?”

Junko, grabbing a nearby guitar: “YEAH NO SHIT, HONEY!”

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Ookoba: "The Rumor Come Out: Does Konno Junko is Gay?"