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Garak: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons? Julian: Um, make lemonade? Garak: No, they squeeze them right back into life’s eyes!

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Julian: We either die free, or die trying! Garak: Are those the only choices?

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Garak: I refuse to apologize for being weird or off-putting. That’s actually your problem. I’m having a fantastic time!

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Garak: Come on, dear Doctor! How many times do I have to apologize?

Julian: Once!

Garak: ...No.

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Miles: I have a bad feeling about this, guys. Garak: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Julian: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen? Miles, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.

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Miles: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Garak recently. Julian: No, Miles, it's not what it looks like, I swear. Miles: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous? Julian: No! You’re the only one for me. Miles: Is that so? Julian: I promise! Garak and I are just dating, okay? He's my partner. Miles: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved? Julian: You are still my one and only best friend! He's just the love of my life, nothing more! Miles: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right? Julian: Of course bro! Miles: Bro... Garak: What the-

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Garak: Hoodie pockets are so great. I can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm.

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Miles: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Garak recently. Julian: No, Miles, it's not what it looks like, I swear. Miles: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous? Julian: No! You’re the only one for me. Miles: Is that so? Julian: I promise! Garak and I are just dating, okay? He's my partner. Miles: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved? Julian: You are still my one and only best friend! He's just the love of my life, nothing more! Miles: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right? Julian: Of course bro! Miles: Bro... Garak: What the-

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Garak: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles. Julian: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one? Garak: Seize the dick.

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Garak: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve. Miles: I think you mean cards. Julian: He did not. Garak, pulling out knives: I did not.

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Julian: Seriously, all you do is bitch. Garak: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation.

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Jadzia: My friends say I'm the most charismatic out of the group. Garak: Well, you always have a smile on your face. Jadzia: Thank you. Garak: Garak: What drugs do you take?

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Quark: What do you want then? Ezri: Er… something work related. Quark: What department is this? Ezri: Sorry? Quark: Well, if it’s work related you’d obviously know what department this is. What department is this? Ezri: *looks at Julian and Garak* Some sort of homosexual department?

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Garak: Go big or go home! Julian:Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home. Garak: I'm going big!

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Sisko: I've grown to love everyone on this station Jadzia: Even the assholes? Sisko: Especially the assholes

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Garak: I feel like everyone on this station is suspicious, Julian. Except you! Julian: But Garak, I think you're suspicious! Garak: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Garak: I am literally evil incarnate.

Garak: I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil.

Garak: Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort.