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Garak: How do you tell someone that you want to have sex with them in a polite way? Julian: Excuse me, would you give me the honour of indulging in sexual activities with you? Miles: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

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Julian: Hey, wanna take a shower with me? Garak: I have a phaser in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

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Julian: Father, I have sinned. Garak: Daddy, I’ve been naughty.

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Julian: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Julian: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

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Garak, looking at Julian: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

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Julian: Why are you like this?? Garak: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

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Julian: Is there something you would like to say, Garak? Garak: Oh, there are SEVERAL things I would like to say.

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Garak: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons? Julian: Um, make lemonade? Garak: No, they squeeze them right back into life’s eyes!

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Julian: We either die free, or die trying! Garak: Are those the only choices?

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Garak: I refuse to apologize for being weird or off-putting. That’s actually your problem. I’m having a fantastic time!

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Garak: Come on, dear Doctor! How many times do I have to apologize?

Julian: Once!

Garak: ...No.

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Miles: I have a bad feeling about this, guys. Garak: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Julian: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen? Miles, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.

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Miles: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Garak recently. Julian: No, Miles, it's not what it looks like, I swear. Miles: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous? Julian: No! You’re the only one for me. Miles: Is that so? Julian: I promise! Garak and I are just dating, okay? He's my partner. Miles: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved? Julian: You are still my one and only best friend! He's just the love of my life, nothing more! Miles: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right? Julian: Of course bro! Miles: Bro... Garak: What the-

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Garak: Hoodie pockets are so great. I can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm.

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Miles: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Garak recently. Julian: No, Miles, it's not what it looks like, I swear. Miles: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous? Julian: No! You’re the only one for me. Miles: Is that so? Julian: I promise! Garak and I are just dating, okay? He's my partner. Miles: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved? Julian: You are still my one and only best friend! He's just the love of my life, nothing more! Miles: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right? Julian: Of course bro! Miles: Bro... Garak: What the-

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Garak: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles. Julian: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one? Garak: Seize the dick.

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Garak: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve. Miles: I think you mean cards. Julian: He did not. Garak, pulling out knives: I did not.