jane eyre except it's incorrect quotes + chaotic musings
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jane: would you rather get with a missionary, god-fearing statue or an emo bigamist?
jane: decisions, decisions
#jane eyre#classics#mr rochester#edward rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue#st john rivers#hello kitty pjs girl or goth femboy
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mr rochester, post first proposal: jane, you know that i love you, right?
jane: of course. why do you ask? are you having second thoughts? is miss ingram--
mr rochester: NO. but... i think you need a makeover. how does a new wardrobe of silk and satin sound? ooh, and also all the rochester family jewels!!! how'd you like that, huh? and i can't forget the awesome eurosummer honeymoon we're going to have!!! i can't wait!
jane:
jane: oh, you're not kidding
#jane eyre#edward rochester#mr rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue#classics
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‘would jane eyre be a swiftie’ she is listening to illegally downloaded nightcore on an mp3 player held together by tape and an unknown sticky substance that might be store brand cola. the one song she does like however is you belong with me bc it was in a vampire knight amv and she finds it relatable
#you belong with me is what soundtracks the blanche ingram miniature painting session#jane eyre#incredible stuff#jane eyre listens to illegally compiled fleetwood mac mixtapes on a cassette she found at the thrift
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mr rochester, post-fire: i cannot believe i lost my poor jane... my darling fairy... my angel...
jane, coming in with a tea tray: ???
mr rochester, teary: sometimes i can still hear her voice
#jane eyre#classics#edward rochester#mr rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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mr rochester in full fortune-teller drag: hey single queen are you ready to find out everything about yourself????!!!
jane: uh…
mr rochester: mmm yes i see in you an avoidance to be anything but solitary and silly and scared
jane: i haven’t even said anything—
mr rochester: anyways what do you think of mr rochester? is he hot? is he sexy? don’t you think he’s SMOULDERING? and so passionate? and such a fun dude to talk to?
jane:
jane: sir, your robe is coming undone
#mr rochester#jane eyre#classics#edward rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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mr rochester after the first proposal, to the tune of “i’m looking for a man in finance”: i’m looking for a girl who’s a governess, with no money, who’s really short, and looks like a fairy
#jane eyre#classics#mr rochester#edward rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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jane, after rejecting st john: the path to inner peace begins with ten words... "if i were to marry you, it would kill me."
jane: i am so peaceful right now.
meanwhile...
mr rochester, about to yell across the moors: i am so not peaceful right now
#jane eyre#classics#mr rochester#edward rochester#st john rivers#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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jane: mr rochester, is that legal?
mr rochester: when there aren't any interloping interjectors around, anything's legal!
#jane eyre#classics#mr rochester#edward rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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st john: so jane, will you marry me?
jane: ...as a friend? a fellow missionary?
st john: well yes but also no
jane:
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mr rochester
#jane eyre#classics#mr rochester#edward rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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mr rochester: when i'm sad, i like to eat my way through a box of chocolate comfits. i love bonbons. they're so crunchy. crunch.
#mr rochester#edward rochester#edward fairfax rochester#my favourite part of his characterisation: his enjoyment of a good chocolate bonbon#jane eyre#incorrect quotes#classics#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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jane after properly seeing rochester for the first time: mr rochester kind of just looks like a square
jane: i mean, his face is square, his hair is swept angularly, his body is rectangular... is he just some elaborate shape?
mr rochester after properly seeing jane for the first time: omg governess... pale and pretty... <3
#jane eyre#classics#edward rochester#mr rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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mr rochester: jane, are you going to leave?
jane: take a guess.
mr rochester: no?
jane, with one foot out the window: take another guess
#jane eyre#classics#mr rochester#edward rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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mr rochester: my darling fairy-like janet, bad things keep happening to me and i don’t know why :(
jane: are you saying that you don’t know why you’re caught in this situation right now????
mr rochester: yeah :((((
jane: mr rochester, was it not your idea to marry me when you already had a wife??????? and engage in bigamy???? which is illegal????????
mr rochester: 🥺 but— but—
jane: yeah i thought so
#jane eyre#classics#mr rochester#edward rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue#silly funny etc
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the "i definitely do NOT have feelings for them in any way shape or form" while obviously crushing on them trope might be cliché to you. it's about being doomed from the start, the desperate denial of the starved self, the tragic inevitably of love to me tho
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jane, post first proposal: you know, i've always wondered what you were writing in that little notebook of yours when i bumped into you on my way back from visiting my aunt.
mr rochester, sweating as he slowly backs away: n-nothing hahaha... i wasn't writing anything at all... what noooo... i'm totally not sneaking off to hide my notebook full of musings written in glittery gel pen about you... see you later janet...
#jane eyre#classics#mr rochester#edward rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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jane, upon returning to thornfield from gateshead: hi mr rochester
mr rochester: HI??? YOU DISAPPEAR FOR A MONTH AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS "HI"???
#jane eyre#classics#mr rochester#edward rochester#do you think i can stay to become nothing to queue
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