incorrectly-quoted-dbda

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Charles: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium*

Edwin: Charles, what did you think a tiger shark was?

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Niko: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Crystal: Go the fuck to sleep Niko.

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Edwin: Where’s Charles?

Crystal: Around.

Edwin: Around?

Edwin: You don’t have any idea, do you?

Charles, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Niko: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Crystal?

Crystal: No.

Niko: I think I speak for Crystal when I say it sounds really super.

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Edwin, trying to flirt with Charles: I think both of our families suck.

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Niko: Is this your plan B?

Charles: Technically, this is plan P.

Niko: Plan P? Is there a plan M?

Charles: Yes, but I marry Edwin in plan M.

Edwin: I like plan M.

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Niko: Hi, who's this? Charles changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Crystal: What's mine?

Niko: Dwarf.

Crystal: HE'S SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

Niko: Oh, hey Crystal.

Crystal: FUCK!

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Charles: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.

Edwin: But you do know better.

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Niko: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Crystal: wHat?

Niko: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Crystal: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Edwin: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Crystal: Put spaghetti in it.

Edwin: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Niko: Put spaghetti in it.

Edwin: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Charles: Put spaghetti in it.

Edwin: I am no longer taking suggestions.

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Charles: *Laughs* Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing—

Edwin: We’re married.

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Unspecified: Did you take out Edwin as I requested?

Charles: Edwin has been taken out, yes.

Unspecified: You have my grat-

Charles: It was a great restaurant.

Charles: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.

Charles: Edwin proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Crystal: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?

Niko: It’s just you.

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Crystal: I love making parties more interesting by telling strangers “I want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here.”

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Edwin, texting Charles: Text me when you’re home safely.

Charles: I’m home dangerously.

Edwin: Stop it.

Charles: I’m home lethally.

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Edwin: I’m in love with you.

Charles: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, mate.

Edwin: I know.

Charles: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

[incorrectly-quoted-dbda]

Charles: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.