incorrectnat

[incorrectnat]

harlow: so, who broke the coffee maker? i’m not mad. i just wanna know.

lily: i did. i broke it.

harlow: no you didn’t. jj?

jj: don’t look at me. look at theo.

theo: what? i didn’t break it.

jj: then how’d you even know it’s broken?

theo: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.

jj: suspicious.

theo: no, it’s not!

pip: if it matters, probably not, but laila was the last one to use it.

laila: liar! i don’t even drink that crap!

dylan: then what were you doing by it earlier?

laila: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that!

lily: okay, let’s not fight. i broke it. let me replace it, harlow.

harlow: no! who broke it?!

dylan: sofia’s been awfully quiet.

sofia: really?!

[everyone starts arguing]

harlow, to herself: i did it. i broke it. it cut my hand, so i punched it. i predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pighead on a stick. good. it was getting a little chummy around here.

[incorrectnat]

seryna: whoops

sera: “whoops”? this is not a simple “whoops” situation. no, we are far past “whoops”. it is a distant speck in the rearview mirror. we are in “oh fuck” territory and i expect you to act like it.

[incorrectnat]

seryna: anyway, i’m so over phoenix! it’s time for me to get out there and spread my—

lavender: legs?

seryna: wings, lav. spread my wings.

[incorrectnat]

drew: stop getting involved in other peoples’ lives.

seryna: but if i don’t get involved in other peoples’ lives i’ll have to focus on my own and that’s no fun.

[incorrectnat]

seryna: i cleaned my room!

atlas: yeah? and how’s that essay coming along?

seryna: . . . i cleaned my room.

[incorrectnat]

circa third year

ivy: where have you been? we’ve been trying to find you all day.

seryna: oh, what a coincidence! i’ve been trying to avoid you all day.

[incorrectnat]

moe: did you know that when you break a bone it’ll typically heal back stronger than before?

seryna: so what you’re saying is i should break every bone in my body until i become invincible.

moe: no. definitely not what i was saying.

[incorrectnat]

eliana: check out this family picture.

seryna: what about it?

eliana: i look hot.

[incorrectnat]

amira: you can trust me.

seryna: i don’t even trust the way you just said i could trust you.

[incorrectnat]

in reference to the yule ball

phoenix: so do i have to buy a croissant?

seryna: . . . you mean a corsage?

[incorrectnat]

leighton: if i die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party and you’re all invited.

seryna: “if”?

sayaka: great, the only party i’ve ever been invited to and she might not even die.

[incorrectnat]

seryna: do you take constructive criticism?

zoë: not without crying.

[incorrectnat]

seryna: i think you and i are more similar than you think.

pansy: if you ever disrespect me like that again i will end you.

[incorrectnat]

saffron: i am one of a kind, limited edition, you’ll never ever meet anybody else like me.

lilith: and thank god for that.

[incorrectnat]

eden: don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.

seryna: aw, thanks eden.

eden: well honestly, i wasn’t really listening. but it’s safe anyway.

[incorrectnat]

eliana: don’t worry, i’ve got a few knives up my sleeve.

seryna: don’t you mean tricks?

eliana: no, i mean knives.

[incorrectnat]

approx. 4th year

sera: is there a reason you’re standing so close to me?

seryna: just looking.

sera: yeah well that’s the great thing about looking. you can do it from far, far away.