incorrectndyingflamequotes

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Random Person:Hey Jote, how old are you? Jote: However old you think I am. Random Person turns to Joshua: How old is Jote? Joshua: She is as old as she is.

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua I need some help with my homework, Jote. Jote: What’s the assignment? Joshua: I’m supposed to write a paper that presents both sides of an issue and then defends one of the arguments. Jote: What’s your issue? Joshua: That’s the problem. I can’t think of anything to argue. Jote: That’s hard to believe. Joshua: I’m always right and everybody else is always wrong! What’s to argue about?!

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua: Did you win? Or just not die? Joshua: Either way, hooray. Jote: ...Is "no" a valid answer? Joshua: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua, texting Jote: *sends a voice message* Jote, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent? Joshua: No, don’t worry, just listen later. *later* Jote: *presses play* Joshua's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Jote, holding an unconscious Joshua: Oh no. Please don’t be dead.

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Jote: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Joshua: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Jote: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Joshua: Is it working?

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Jote: Joshua and I are no longer dating. Joshua: Jote, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua: Talk dirty to me, baby~ Jote: The dishes. Joshua: Wh- Jote: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua: Can you cut me some slack, Jote? I’m sort of in love. Jote: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem. Joshua: I’m in love with you. Jote: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua: Stop doing that. Jote: Stop doing what? Joshua: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hells out of you.

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Jote: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder? Joshua: Well, it’s frowned upon. Jote: Okay, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? Jote: That’s okay, right?

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Charon: Joshua doesn’t deserve you. Charon: If they don't treat you right by now, you're gone. Jote: I'm gone. Charon: Now go chop their dick off.

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua: Wow, Jote, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Jote: We literally slept together yesterday. Joshua: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua: Well, Jote and I finally did it! The rest of the dominant squad: *gasps, shocked expressions* Joshua: That's right... We kissed!

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua: How do I tell Jote that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Jote, I love you but, what the h-e-double HELLS. Jote, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

[incorrectndyingflamequotes]

Joshua: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Jote: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Joshua: I said within reason, Jote. How about I murder that guy? Jote: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Joshua: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?