inevitablyuncertain - Tumblr blog

[inevitablyuncertain]

There was a German version of Deadpool called Deutschpool. He was like Deadpool but in lederhosen. He ate my leftovers. The only thing he said in English is when he smacked my ass and said, “Hey handsome”.

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[Warlock is consentually possessed by the Ghost of a Paladin who needs to make the "final blow" against a Beholder to be free of his curse. The Beholder is already wounded from Wizard's spells and the party's Paladin's smite. ]

Warlock: Well [Ghost Paladin] I know this isn't your usual fighting style and I kinda wanted to let you borrow my Shadow Blade for this but I hope you don't mind terribly if we just finish this quickly especially for the sake of Monk [frightened] and the Githzerai [several near misses with the disintegration ray]. Since you're possessing me even if I call down the power of my patron upon it this will still count as the "Final Blow," right?

Ghost Paladin: Yes.

Warlock: [*summons Bigby's Hand Tentacles and the Fathomless Tentacles and unleashes them all on the Beholder to devastating effect.*]

Warlock: Are you still doing okay, [Ghost Paladin]? Wanna do the honors of crushing this asshole?

Ghost Paladin [cheerfully]: Oh verily!

[*The Beholder dies Screaming*]

Ghost Paladin: Ah, peace at last.... *Fades away. *

DM: Warlock is no longer possessed.

Warlock: Awwww... he seemed nice, I think I'll miss him.

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A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to “be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.

If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.

If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.

If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.

If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.

You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.

You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.

But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.

Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.

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speaking of bundles i've been following the updates about the bundle Games for Gaza, which was from last year, and the lack of response and transparency from itch.io

you can read the organizer's thread here:

tl;dr essentially itch.io has completely ghosted them since December, and MAP has NOT received the $365k that was raised. both the organizer and MAP separately reached out to itch.io with no response. apparently itch.io's payout system is notoriously bad, but itch.io has failed to do their part within the timeline they set with no updates and no communication. since Esther posted, Leaf (the founder of itch.io) has gotten directly involved, but the funds have still not been passed on to MAP.

worth stressing this is apparently not a unique circumstance and is typical of itch.io payouts.

really really disappointing behavior from itch.io. that money at this point genuinely could have saved lives. i've been posting about the other bundle that's planning to raise money for the PCRF but after this i would be wary donating through itch.io. i'm waiting to see exactly what steps Leaf is going to take to make this right.

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The black widow variant of my scorpion lollies

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its so sad kabru had to get caught in his lie so fast bc it truly distracts ppl from how sweet and cute it is that laios went out of his way to make him something special that he thought he'd enjoy like rolled omelette are not that easy to make and they were making food anyway he just decided "kabru is my friend and kabru likes eating monsters let me spare my special provisions to give him something, just for him" like we get so swept up in how kabru feels about it honestly that we do not see how much care the gesture was on laios' part. no wonder he gets so broken hearted about kabru not liking the food he made in particular. id be so so sad if i made my new friend a cake they said they liked and i found out it physically hurt to eat and they just ate it anyway to spare my feelings. and they never liked cake. like no tell meeeee i made it special for youuuuu

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Y'all ever open a book on a new subject, read a little bit, and have to put it back so you can process the way in which your mind was just expanded?

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Cells migrating, body dissolving

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Animated spinning wheel thing based on a warmup drawing by @regal-bones, in my head it's a lock on a big ancient door. All made in Blender!

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speechless. the pose. the expression. this should be a painting.

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Laios was right - she's so cool!!

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oh, you're invincible, you say? *easily vinces you*

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As a wheelchair user I'm trying to reframe my language for "being in the way."

"I'm in the way," "I can't fit," and "I can't go there," is becoming "there's not enough space," "the walkway is too narrow," and "that place isn't accessible."

It's a small change, but to me it feels as if I'm redirecting blame from myself to the people that made these places inaccessible in the first place. I don't want people to just think that they're helping me, I want them to think that they're making up for someone else's wrongdoing. I want them to remember every time I've needed help as something someone else caused.

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remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

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Harlem

Edward Burra

Ink and gouache on paper, 1934