infamouswallman

[infamouswallman]

Panic attack episode 2 😓

I woke up and everything was wrong!! I feel like a mess and like I can’t eat and like my nails are wrong. I’m almost done with finals though. I still have hope I’m just all messy right now.

[infamouswallman]

Soooooo. I’m back again late at night lolzzzzzz

Just realized I was getting worried about one of my lovely friends and I was like “ oh gee I should check on her I hope she’s ok right now” and it like clicked after a second that to my knowledge everything is going super well for her and that it in fact was ME who had the panic attack earlier and not her. I fr just like projected all of my pain and anxiety away from me and took no ownership. I made it through my first two finals, it was scary and I made a lot of mistakes but I’m sure I’ve got this I just need something that I can’t put into words.

[infamouswallman]

sheepish is a really funny word. fuck im so nervous (turns into this)

[infamouswallman]

[infamouswallman]

Need a better phone for better tumblr scrolling

[infamouswallman]

I don't "stalk" a blog I read it like the morning paper

[infamouswallman]

[infamouswallman]

[infamouswallman]

[infamouswallman]

See, the dating apps call to me because I have never dated or been in a romantic relationship and I also order food through the app because I am scared of the workers at fast food places.

But also I am very fond of sit down restaurants and breakfast diners. I do NOT like how the old ladies hit on me, this is why I need a girlfriend, so she may defend my honor!!

What I suppose I’m saying here is if a pretty gym lady doesn’t kidnap me and feed me protein shakes then I WILL get on dating apps and not eat at breakfast diners

[infamouswallman]

As$ up, face down 0n my bed rn

BEGGING for some DP(doctor pepper)

God I am such a slut for fries too, I’d take fries from anywhere. Zaxby’s, Chick-fil-A, McDonald’s, five guys, hmmmm probably Wendy’s too

ooooh and popcorn from Publix in those big bags and it kinda tastes like cardboard the day after.

[infamouswallman]

[infamouswallman]

Eating burger watching overwatch and doing practice test yayyyyy yay yaya yaya yay yay yayyyyy yyyyayayyyyyyayayyyyyyayyyyyyy

[infamouswallman]

Obsessions

Kigurumi

False nails

Guns

Earrings

Necklaces

Bracelets

Rings

Dolls

Sunglasses

Painting

[infamouswallman]

[infamouswallman]

[infamouswallman]

So, I’ve had thoughts again…

My inspiration, I almost try to force people around me to be like her. It’s wrong of me I know but I look for the comfort and understanding that she provided in everyone else. It occurred to me when I was playing a conversation out to myself about how i feel about my friends and how when I feel slighted or upset I feel the need to talk to them but the solution always feels like “you should change for me and I should do nothing different because I’m perfect”. And I used to justify it with the idea that simply my goddess glory was the best at being around me, I’m starting to think it’s something different. Something feels rude and wrong and this feels like poor timing as I have so so much homework and jobs to apply to, but my mind can’t wait and I feel out of control of myself sooooo…. I guess idk this should be explored more