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infinidae · 28 days ago

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Show Me Where The Delicate Stops

Pairings ❥ ꜰᴀᴋᴇ ʙꜰ!ꜱʜɪɴɪᴄʜɪʀᴏ ꜱᴀɴᴏ x ꜰᴀᴋᴇ ɢꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Summary ❥ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴇᴄᴛ ᴘʟᴀɴ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍɪᴋᴇʏ’ꜱ ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ. ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ɢᴏ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜰᴀᴋᴇ ᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʜɪꜱ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ…ʀɪɢʜᴛ?

Word Count ❥ 3ᴋ+

"It's not like I really care that he's going to the wedding with her. I mean we broke up months and months ago. I'm over it." You said in a nonchalant tone as you lifted the spoon with a bite of cereal to your mouth.

Your gaze moving away from your spoon to your phone that you had propped up against the white tiled backsplash in your kitchen to see Emma who had stopped washing the dishes to give you a look. Her brow was raised and her lips were pulled in a straight line which caused the usually bubbly spirited woman to look skeptical as if she knew better. You both were unable to squeeze in your weekly brunch date to catch up with one another so you decided to video chat while she washed the dishes before she had to other house chores. You figured this look wouldn't you affect you nearly as much as it would in person but here you were. You knew what that look meant but even now as you chewed on your cereal thinking that maybe, just maybe, you could fool her into thinking you were over it. Fool yourself into thinking you were over it. That mentality only lasted a few seconds before you swallowed your bite of cereal and groaned. You put the bowl down onto the counter then gently tossed the spoon into the plastic bowl before you run your hands over your face.

"It's that obvious huh?" You mutter as you lean against the counter and you hear Emma let out a sigh on the other end of the phone.

"Look, no one blames you for feeling this way," Emma said as she resumed washing the dishes. "Shinichiro and I think what he did is shitty. It's okay for you to still be upset over it. You two were together for a long time and then things kinda ended messy. It's understandable."

While you listened to your best friend talk you resumed eating your cereal knowing she was speaking the truth. You and Micky had dated for nearly five years and were friends way before then. You were there for it all. From the time Mikey had the dream to start a gang that would rule over Tokyo to when Toman was finally disbanded. You had been close with the Sano family since you were a kid; your family lived next door so you were a familiar face around their home. You and Emma had been best friends for so long that it was hard for you to imagine your life without her or either of her brothers. By the time you hit your early twenties the jokes between you and Mikey felt less like teasing and more like flirting. It was all so new for the both of you and you mutually agreed to keep things between you two a secret for a while just so you could enjoy the time before everyone knew. When you and Mikey decided to start telling people Emma and Shinichiro were the first to know however, it didn't seem to come as a surprise to either of them.

"I'm so happy you two finally got together!" Emma cheerfully said before she hugged you and Mikey.

"I figured you guys had been screwing for a while now." Shinichiro said as a cigarette dangled from his mouth while he finished up working on a bike in his shop.

Things between you and Mikey had always been good until last year when a new marketing manager, Mayumi, was hired onto Mikey's team. You didn't have a problem with Mayumi at first because you felt like you were confident in your relationship with Mikey. She was stunning for her age, you had to give her that; with her long black hair that was always pulled neatly into a ponytail and those piercing brown eyes that seemed to look into your soul. Her blouses, that didn't hide her assets, was always dry cleaned with the scent of lavender. Her pencil skirts that went down to her knees and heels, you swore you'd break your neck if you wore something like that, always made her look so professional. She walked with an elegance about her that fooled anyone into thinking she had to be in her late twenties when in reality she was pushing forty. Despite the new addition to his team you didn't worry because you had become accustomed to girls being all over him when you were growing up and that didn't change the older you both got. Especially now that he was a professional racer. Yet no matter what Mikey always made you a priority whether that was FaceTiming you between races, even if was just for five minutes.

Or Draken sending you picture's of Mikey sleeping with your blanket he had secretly taken because it smelt just like you. Mikey swore up and down, when you asked him about your missing blanket, that it made the separation of oversea races a little more bearable. And not to mention the countless times he had surprised you by coming home even if it was a few hours earlier than he originally said; those nights were memorably for many reasons. There was never a reason for you to be insecure until some things started to become routine; small things that could be over looked once or twice but when it happened regularly it caused you to become more suspicious. It started with Mikey mentioning how creative Mayumi had been since getting hired on to their team the spring before and how it seemed that his support from fans had gone up tenfold. It excited you until her name started coming up more often outside of work related conversations.

"You should have heard the joke Mayumi told at lunch the other day. Her laugh is contagious." Mikey chuckled as he looked over at you before looking back at his phone.

"Oh, I was going to go with the tie you liked but I went with the other tie for the award ceremony because Mayumi said it would look better." Mikey said as you both were flipping through the photos that Draken had taken of him throughout the night.

It went from uninterrupted dinner's that were especially sacred to Mikey no matter how long or short his trips were because that was his time with you. Time to make up for all the exciting news about you passing your stressful exams at uni to the drama between your friends; he wanted to hear what his girl had going on. To hearing his phone, that was usually on silent when he was home, pinging with message after message. You could understand him forgetting and his fans here always blew up his social media notifications so it was understandable; until he started to take the time to pick his phone up and look at it despite it being your time together. It went from him practically breaking every traffic law to get back to the apartment after the plane landed to having to make a quick stop at the shop before he could go back home to see you. The more this happened the more dates were cancelled last minute because something came up at the shop. Countless fights that only lead to countless lies that soon spiraled out of control. It shouldn't have shocked you when you discovered the truth but you couldn't help the way your heart shattered.

Mikey had been cheating on you with someone who was at least twenty years older than both you and Mikey. Someone who had a smug grin on her face every time you would visit Mikey at home races or would always make up an excuse as to why he couldn't answer the phone when he was back at the shop. Mayumi was suppose to just be a marketing manager and instead she became the reason you and Mikey broke up. You were so angry for so long because you couldn't get the thought of her sinking her fangs into him at just the right moment so it seemed like she was being supportive and not a home wrecker. Was it the night you called Mikey crying because he was almost two hours late to your anniversary dinner? Or maybe it was the night you screamed at him to get the hell out of your shared apartment because you thought you caught a glimpse of a woman's name lighting up his phone with a text notification at four in the morning. The way he quickly reached for his phone and refused to admit he was being a little too jumpy for it simply being a harmless text. You tried not to become that kind of girlfriend but who knows how long Mikey had been sneaking around with Mayumi.

You should've been meaner when you found out the truth but at some point you had to realize it wasn't completely Mayumi's fault, although you could put a majority of it on her. It was Mikey's fault for letting that woman come between the two of you even after all you had been through since you were kids. It took a while but despite it all you managed to move on for the most part. Even when you got the invitation to Hinata and Takemichi's wedding and you just knew he would be there you still stayed strong. Until Draken told you she was going as Mikey's plus one. All those months of therapy down the drain as your face was drained of color. That was nearly three months ago and their wedding was just another month away. You weren't going to be petty about the whole thing; you wanted to show that you were doing just fine without him.

But as soon as Draken mentioned her name you couldn't help but to try and concoct a plan to really show Mikey you didn't need him. It was a lie of course...a part of you would always need Mikey but no one needed to know that. For now it was all about making it look like you had your shit together. There was really only one thing in the way of your ploy to come across as the carefree ex. Who would be willing to pretend to be your boyfriend between now and the wedding with absolute nothing to gain?

"So if you aren't really blaming me for still kinda sulking over what happened between me and your brother does that mean you won't blame me for planning something to make me feel better?" You said with a sheepish grin but your words don't seem to bother Emma as she continues to wash the dishes.

"I support whatever you need to do to feel better about the whole ugly mess. You deserve to be happy." Emma said with a smile as she rinsed out a bowl and put out on the drying rack.

"Even if that thing is to pretend to date someone from now until the wedding and show Mikey that I'm better off without him." You say as you look back down at the rest of your cereal that had slowly gotten soggy due to you getting distracted. You heard something shift and Emma snatch her phone off the counter which caused a crackling sound to come through the speaker; it caused you to cringe before you looked to see a shocked Emma.

"What did you say?" Emma squeaked out and you could still hear the water running in the background which made you wonder if she even dried her hands before she even grabbed her phone.

Honestly, you don't even blame her for reacting this way. Sure, you could be a vengeful bitch when you needed to be but this was Mikey after all and if a human could take the form of kryptonite Mikey would be yours. So the fact that you had sorta come up with a plan to even think about getting back at Mikey shocked Emma more than it should've.

"I said I-"

Before you could even finish your sentence the front door to their apartment shuts and Emma turns to see who had come in. By the way she smiled you knew right away it was Draken and something inside you shifts; if Draken was home then that meant Mikey was too. You couldn't help the way your brain started to wander to what he was doing right now. Was he taking a nap? Was he catching up with his old friends? Was he with her? You shook your head as you stood up and walked over to your own sink. You took a sip of the milk in the bowl before pouring the rest of it down the drain as you listened to the couple on the other end of the phone. You smiled at the way Draken spoke so softly to Emma as sickening as it could be sometimes you couldn't help but admire the way they never seemed to have gotten out of the honeymoon phase.

You propped your phone up as you started to rinse your bowl, your mind not being able to wander far before your name was being called out. You looked over at your screen to see Draken's tall frame taking up most of the screen at Emma peeked over his shoulder. You smiled and gave him a small wave with your damp hand.

"Hey Kenny. How was the trip?" You asked which only had him groaning as he leaned against the counter. It could be a number of reasons for those tired eyes and that exasperate energy he was giving off, however, you knew the biggest reason was your reason too. "That bad huh?"

Draken nodded his head as he ran a hand over his face. A strand of his black hair moved over his face and you watched Emma brush it back and he smiled fondly down at her.

"Well she's about to complicate things," Emma said as she looked back at the phone. "Rightfully so but still." Emma said with a shake of her head and a small smile spreading over her lips which only caused Draken to raise a brow. His attention moving from Emma to you.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, no. I'm not telling you shit. You'll just run off and tell Mikey. Even if you are irritated at him right now you still are best friends." You said which caused Draken to become way more confused than he already was.

Emma set her phone down again and crosses her arms over her chest as she let out a sigh. You wanted to stand your ground on this. You wanted to not admit anything else because when it came down to it you knew Emma would never tell a soul if you asked her to keep this plan from anyone. However, you didn't get the chance to do so and the fact you wanted to get back at Mikey at all instead of letting things play out as they should since you all were adults. Draken chuckles and that throws you off because there was really no reason for Draken to be loyal to you. He and Mikey had been through more than you could even imagine and his wife was Mikey's sister so by all accounts his loyalty would be with the Sano family.

"We might be close but that doesn't mean what he did to you was okay. I still am giving him shit about it. It wasn't right." Draken said which caused you to just stare at the phone screen. Like Emma, it seemed that Draken was siding with you when it came to the break up. "Mikey hasn't really been himself lately. I'm not sure what's going on but it's getting old."

He was right...this wasn't the Mikey everyone knew and loved. This Mikey was reckless, impatient, heartless. There was a slight sense of relief that washes over you and you let out a breath.

"Fine, I'll tell you...but I swear to god-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before." Draken says as he puts his hand on Emma's head which causes her to playfully roll her eyes.

You take a deep breath and exhale as you try to find the right words to say without coming across like a maniac. You dried your hands with a paper towel before you crossed your arms over your chest and leaned against the counter.

"Okay well I came up with this brilliant and slightly stupid plan of trying to make Mikey jealous," You start by saying which causes Draken to raise a brow again and for a moment you wanted to laugh it off and say you were just kidding just by his look alone. Maybe this was just a flat out stupid plan. But there was still a part of you that craved for some resolution in the saga that was yours and Mikey's relationship. "I was hoping I could find someone to pretend to be my boyfriend from now until the wedding." You continued on despite the chances that Draken would tell you that you were, in fact, an idiot. "The only issue is I can't think of anyone who would be dumb enough to go along with this plan with nothing to gain."

There were plenty of people you could ask but there was the obstacle of someone who would actually be willing to go through with a plan as messy as making the invincible Mikey jealous. Hell, you could think of at least three people that would laugh in your face for even trying to piss Mikey off; they didn't have a death wish but you clearly did. Then there was the chance that Mikey would see right through what you were trying do which would only make you feel worse about the whole ordeal. There was still plenty of time to talk yourself out of this but you just waited for Draken to be your voice of reason. He knew better than anyone how Mikey was and you knew that Draken would knock some sense into you, figuratively speaking, about this whole situation.

"You could ask Shinichiro to do it." Draken said without missing a beat.

ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴜꜱʜʀᴏᴏᴍ ᴊᴇʟʟʏꜰɪꜱʜ ᴇxʜɪʙɪᴛ

ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴅᴇʟɪᴏɴ

©ᴅᴇʟᴜʟᴜ4ᴀɴɪᴍᴇ 2025 ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

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infinidae · 1 month ago

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The Weight of the Truth

Summary: You form an unlikely bond with Bucky Barnes during your time with the Avengers. What begins as mutual trust and quiet companionship slowly deepens into something more. However, when Bucky begins pulling away without explanation, it leaves you hurt and confused. Tension builds until a raw, emotional confrontation forces the truth out of both of you. (Bucky Barnes x Avengers!reader)

Disclaimer: Reader has the power to compel people to tell the truth against their will. Light angst. Hurt/Comfort.

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: Based on the poll I ran, the majority voted Truth Compulsion and Telepathy. I chose the first for now and will do telepathy next, maybe something lighter or fun for the latter. Happy reading!

Main Masterlist | Whispers of the Gifted Masterlist

You weren’t born with the power to pull truth from people’s mouths. It came later in life one rainy afternoon, so suddenly, like a curse wrapped in silk. It didn’t matter how much someone wanted to lie; if you asked the question and truly wanted the answer, they had to speak it. Every word dragged from their chest like it weighed a hundred pounds. You didn’t need to raise your voice, threaten, or coax. No. Your voice simply made the truth impossible to hold in.

Some people thought it was a gift. However, you never saw it that way, knowing what people really felt, what they really meant, and what they were too afraid to say. You were too young back then when you failed to realize most people didn’t want honesty. And some truths, once spoken, couldn’t be unsaid.

Therefore, you weren’t used to people staying. Not when they learned what you could do.

Your presence alone made people uneasy, not because you were loud or threatening, but because you listened. People were afraid of what you might ask, afraid that even an innocent question like “Are you okay?” might unravel something carefully buried. Over time, you learned how to walk lightly, how to speak softly, and how to exist without pressing.

When the Avengers found you, you were a wild card to them. Useful indeed, but dangerous. You could end a fight with one question or tear a team apart with one sentence. As a result, most of them kept their distance. Not out of fear, exactly but more out of caution. As if being near you meant something deep inside them might be accidentally pulled to the surface.

Natasha was polite. Steve was kind but wary. Wanda, empathetic but unreadable. But Bucky? He didn’t avoid you. He didn’t tiptoe. That’s what made Bucky Barnes different.

He didn’t fill the space around you with noise. He didn’t dance around your power. He never stared, never fidgeted, never waited for you to break the silence with something intrusive or painful. He just… sat beside you. Quietly, like he had nothing more that could possibly be confessed considering the world knew most of his past by now.

You noticed him long before he noticed you. You picked up on how he scanned every room like someone would pop out and attack him. How he clenched his jaw every time someone brushed against him without warning. How he kept his left arm always at an angle, like he was guarding something, himself. It was like he didn’t know if he was allowed to be comfortable in his own skin.

Regardless, you never asked questions. Not even once. You gave him something rare: Space.

And in return, he gave you something rarer: Presence.

It started with him sitting near you in the common room during team meetings, even if it meant skipping an open seat to get there. Then came the training sessions, where you sparred silently, never needing to speak but always aware of each other’s limits. You matched each other’s pace like you’d done this for years. Then came the early mornings. You’d enter the kitchen with your favorite mug in hand and find him already there, black coffee in one hand, gaze out the window. The first time, he only nodded. By the third week, he was pouring you a cup before you even spoke.

You noticed the way he remembered things no one else did. That you hated synthetic fabrics, that the buzzing of certain lights gave you migraines, or that your favorite tea had to steep exactly three minutes. He didn’t say anything, he just did things. Adjusted the lighting, quietly requested your sheets be swapped for cotton, left your tea on the table with a timer set. It warmed your heart in some way. You never thanked him aloud, but you knew he felt your gratitude anyways.

In return for his kindness, you learned to read his silences.

There was a difference between when he was tired and when he was haunted. A difference between when he wanted company and when he couldn’t stand to be alone but didn’t know how to ask. On those nights, when the ghosts were louder than his thoughts, he’d find you. Sometimes just to sit beside you on the couch, sometimes to walk the perimeter of the compound in wordless patrol, and sometimes… to talk. Little things and often one sentence at a time. A memory or a sarcastic comment. Sometimes a moment of truth disguised as a joke.

You fell for him slowly. Hopelessly.

In the way his voice softened when he said your name. In the way he watched you like he was memorizing every move, not to predict it, but to understand it. In the way he spoke of nightmares but never had them when you’d fall asleep on his couch for movie nights. In the way you never had to use your power, but he always told you the truth anyway.

You told yourself it wasn’t love. Not yet. Just admiration or connection. It was just the beginning of something you’d never be brave enough to touch.

And still, you saw the way his eyes lingered a second too long when you laughed at one of Sam’s jokes. How he stiffened whenever someone else stood too close to you. How his voice dropped an octave when he asked “You okay?” like the answer would define the rest of his night.

There was always something unfinished between you. Something neither of you dared name. So when your moments of silence became distant and suffocating, it chipped away at your sanity and heart each time.

You had always thought that silence was something you could share. Something safe. But over the last few weeks, the quiet between you and Bucky had begun to feel like an unwelcome gap, a widening chasm neither of you wanted to cross.

It started slowly. You started to notice a coldness in his gaze when he used to look at you with an unreadable warmth. Distance in his movements that used to feel comfortable, like two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together, now felt like two pieces of glass, edges sharp and unyielding.

It was subtle too, little things you thought you could brush off. Like when you’d walk into the common room after a long day and find him sitting there, but when you sat next to him, his shoulders would stiffen. He’d give a tight smile, then turn his attention back to the mission reports without saying much. Or when you found yourself at the training mats together, and he’d deliberately avoid your eye contact when he used to be the first one to look at you after a move. You wondered if he was just tired, or if it was something else but it didn’t feel like tiredness.

Then came the mission.

It was a routine operation. It was a simple extraction clean and precise. You and Bucky worked seamlessly together, as always. He covered your back while you disabled the security system. You moved in tandem, a perfect machine. But when you completed the mission, something shifted in the air. It was like he was pulling away, retreating into himself again. He didn’t speak much during the debriefing, and when you caught him glancing at you, there was something unfamiliar in his expression. Something distant. Something… closed off.

That night, when you returned to the compound, you thought it was just the usual exhaustion from a mission. But Bucky didn’t act like himself. He didn’t come by the kitchen for the usual quiet company. He hadn’t sat next to you during team discussions. He didn’t even bother to make small talk as he passed you in the hall. You caught him avoiding your gaze, his face a mask of calm, but his posture rigid.

It confused you. And it hurt more than you cared to admit.

Had you said something wrong? Done something wrong?

You spent the next few days wondering if you were the cause of it. Maybe he’d gotten too comfortable around you, and now he needed space. Maybe he just didn’t want to deal with whatever had started between you. He was still Bucky, still the same guy who’d saved your life more times than you could count. But now, everything felt like an impenetrable wall.

You didn’t want to push him. You never wanted to be that person. You never wanted to be the one who pried, the one who pushed when someone needed time to process. After all, your powers had long pried out the secrets and words of too many people to count. But Bucky was never like this before. His silences were always comfortable. The absence of his presence now felt like it was hollow, like it was filled with unsaid words and unexplored tension.

You tried to get his attention, at first, with small gestures. A shared look during a team briefing. A subtle joke meant to make him laugh. A fleeting touch of your hand on his arm when you walked by. But each time, he stiffened or pulled away. It wasn’t like him.

The hardest part was not knowing what you’d done. Maybe you had said something wrong, maybe you’d done something that made him close off. It wasn’t like you had any experience in relationships, not any real honest connections. You weren’t even sure what you and Bucky had, but you had thought it was something good and worth holding onto.

Days turned into weeks, and the distance between you both only seemed to grow. There were moments when he was still around, when he still spoke to you in clipped sentences, still walked beside you when the missions called for it. But there was no warmth behind it. No understanding or connection like before. And every time you tried to talk to him to try and ask what was wrong, he’d pull back. His responses were short, almost guarded. Every time you tried to bridge the gap, he’d distance himself further.

Finally, one night, after yet another cold interaction, you couldn’t take it anymore. You cornered him in the hallway. His steps faltered when he saw you, but you weren’t going to let him walk away this time.

"Bucky," You called out, your voice a mix of frustration and hurt. "What’s going on? You’re avoiding me."

He stiffened, eyes darting to the floor. His lips pressed into a thin line, like he was fighting a battle inside himself. “I’m not avoiding you," He muttered, but you could hear the lie in his voice. It wasn’t convincing and you knew it wasn’t the truth.

"Then why is it like this? What did I do?" You couldn’t keep the edge of desperation out of your voice. “You’ve been pulling away from me for weeks now and I don’t know why. I don’t know what’s wrong, but you’re driving me crazy, Bucky.”

His jaw clenched as he stood there for a moment in silence before he finally looked at you. His eyes were wide, vulnerable in a way that scared you. This wasn’t Bucky Barnes, the man who always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and kept his emotions under lock and key. This man, standing in front of you, was someone broken, someone you couldn’t fix with a touch or a kind word.

"Is it because of the mission?" You pushed gently, your voice softer. "Did I mess up somehow? If I did, just tell me. I’ll fix it."

Bucky shook his head slowly, his hand running through his hair in frustration. "No. It’s not the mission. It’s…" He looked away, and for the first time in a long while, you saw the weight of everything he’d been hiding in his eyes. "It’s me."

You were silent for a moment, the realization creeping up slowly. Your heart beat in your chest as you tried to keep your voice steady. "Bucky, you’re scaring me. You’re shutting me out, and I don’t know why."

“Just… nevermind. Forget it. Goodnight.” He said tightly, moving to depart with his gaze incapable of facing you directly.

It was then that something inside you snapped. The years of silence and loneliness, of holding back, and of not letting your power show when it was the only thing that might break through. You had to know the truth. You had to hear him say it. You had no other choice. You couldn’t just keep waiting for him to open up not after you’ve tried relentlessly and hopelessly the past couple of weeks.

You focused. You’d never used your ability on him before, not because you were afraid of the power, but because you never wanted him to experience another situation where he had no control. You were afraid of what you might find if you pushed him too hard; but tonight, you weren’t going to let him walk away.

You took a deep breath, your voice steadier than you felt, mentally asking for his forgiveness as you spoke firmly. “Bucky, I need you to answer me. Why are you really pushing me away?”

His body stiffened. You could see the struggle in his eyes, the way he fought against your words, as if he could physically resist them. But it was futile. The pull of your power was subtle, like an invisible tether pulling at him, a force beyond his control.

His mouth opened, and for a moment, it was as if he tried to choke back the words. It was like he tried to shove them down into the depths of his mind where he thought they’d stay buried forever. But they spilled out anyway, raw and jagged, his voice betraying him in a way you hadn’t expected.

”Because if I let myself love you,” Bucky whispered, his eyes flickering with the weight of the confession, ”I don’t know if I could survive losing you too.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You could see the vulnerability in his eyes, the cracks in the armor that he’d built around himself. The fear, the raw terror, that if he let himself love again, he wouldn’t be able to bear the inevitable heartbreak. Because Lord knows how much he’s lost and had to grieve in his life.

You didn’t know what to say. For a moment, everything felt like it was frozen in time. You’d never seen him so exposed, so raw and it made your heart ache for him.

His breath hitched, like he was waiting for you to run, waiting for you to take his confession as an excuse to push him away, just as he had done to you.

"What do you mean?" You were barely breathing, every word feeling too heavy to bear.

"I’m not good for you," He spoke softly. "You deserve someone who doesn’t drag you down with their demons." He took a step back, shaking his head. "I can’t give you what you want. What you need."

And there it was. The wall he’d been building between you had a name: fear. Fear of opening up or of what you might see. Fear of the man he used to be and the damage he’d done.

But you weren’t afraid. You never were, not of him.

"I don’t need you to be perfect,” You stepped closer, heart hammering, and placed your hand on his chest. "I just need you to be here."

His breath hitched at your words. For a moment, you thought he might step back again. That he might raise those walls so high you’d never reach him. But he didn’t move. Instead, he just stood there, chest rising beneath your hand, heart pounding steadily under your touch.

“I’m not going anywhere,” You repeated softly, like a promise. “Even if you try to push me away.”

He closed his eyes, and something in him cracked, right there in front of you. Not loudly or with any dramatics. But it was like watching winter thaw, slow and quiet and inevitable.

“I tried to stay away,” Bucky admitted, his voice low, rough, like it hurt to speak. “I thought if I could put some space between us, it’d fade. That maybe I could stop wanting you.”

The confession landed like a lightning bolt. Your lips parted, a thousand emotions flooding you at once: relief, confusion, heartbreak, hope.

“You tried to stop wanting me?” Your voice echoed, barely above a whisper.

His eyes opened then, meeting yours, and you saw it, everything he’d been holding back. All the pain, fear, and longing. “I’ve wanted you for months,” He said. “Maybe longer. But I thought if I kept my distance, you’d find someone better. Someone who doesn’t wake up screaming. Someone who hasn’t done what I’ve done.”

Your fingers twitched against his chest. “But I don’t want someone better,” You said quietly. “I want you.”

Bucky stared at you like he didn’t quite believe it. “Even after everything?”

You nodded slowly, fiercely. “Especially after everything. Because I’ve seen you, Bucky. Not just the soldier. Not an assassin. You. The man who watches bad movies with me in silence. The one who always notices when I’m tired or hurting and doesn’t say a word, just sits a little closer. The one who remembers how I take my coffee. Who makes me feel safe, even when everything else falls apart.”

He looked away for a heartbeat, jaw tight, like he was trying to keep himself together.

You moved forward, stepping a little closer. Your heart racing as you added in a firmer voice. “And you don’t get to decide that you’re unworthy of being wanted. Not for me. Not when I’ve been falling for you this whole damn time.”

And that, broke something in him. He exhaled sharply, like the weight he’d been carrying finally tipped over. His hand came up hesitantly before it settled over yours on his chest, warm and shaking.

“I don’t know how to do this,” He admitted. “I’m not good at… feeling.”

“That’s okay,” You whispered. “You don’t have to be. I’m not asking you to be perfect. Just to let me in.”

He looked at you like you were sunlight cracking through a storm cloud, his thumb brushing gently against the back of your hand. “You already are.”

And then, slowly, carefully, he leaned in. It wasn’t rushed nor desperate. Just real. When his lips met yours, it was tentative, like a question. But when you kissed him back, it became an answer. One you’d both been waiting for.

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infinidae · 2 months ago

Text

Realizing Something You Shouldn't Have

NotMC_F!reader x Xavier

May be OOC. Canon divergence.

Reader is a Backtracker who went with Xavier and Jeremiah. Spoilers for Xavier’s Lightseeker and Lumiere myths if you haven't read it. 18+ just in case.

A/N: Xavier centric fic this time. Not entirely sure how it'll go, so I'll leave an 18+ warning for now. I have a general idea of where this story will go, and just to keep things similar I'm thinking I'll do an alt sad ending again (right now my ideas are too similar to the Zayne fic though and I'd want something different for the sad ending >.<)

Part 1

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Part 1

“Xavier?” You call out into his apartment.

He'd entrusted you with his key so you could stop by to check on him. He knew you were a bit worried because he spends most of his time sleeping, so he gave you permission to come by when you wanted to. You still made sure to send him advance notice though, and he'd always acknowledge you with an okay.

You are a member of the Backtrackers and Queen MC is your best friend back on Philos. You'd overheard that the royal family planned to use Queen MC’s special power to be reborn when she dies (it didn't seem like she knew about it and she still has no idea), so you'd volunteered to go with Xavier back in time to find a solution to Philos’ dying core. You hoped to save your best friend from being used to power your planet for her lives to come.

“He didn't go out, did he? I sent him a text and he replied ‘okay’ as usual… I was going to drag him out for hotpot while I was here.” You frown as you begin searching for him around his apartment. You didn't find him anywhere so you sent him another text.

“Where are you? I told you I was stopping by for lunch.”

“Sorry, I got called out by MC.” He responds fairly quickly. “Can we take a raincheck on lunch?”

You stare at his text. MC…

“No worries. It was spontaneous anyway since I was nearby. Have fun with MC.”

“Thanks :)”

You shove your phone back in your pocket and pull back on your shoes, heading out of his apartment. You decided you'd find Jeremiah next, maybe he'd be up for lunch.

You only turn back as you remember his door needed to be locked. “Ugh, why does he still use a physical key?” Grumbling to yourself, you pull out a key attached to a cute rabbit keychain to lock his door, turning the handle to make sure.

The storefront was empty when you reached Philo, so you head to the back and find Jeremiah scrutinizing a bouquet of flowers.

You lean against the doorframe, “Don't you know complimentary colours? You should pair some yellows, oranges, and greens with that purple. Also, are those purple flowers supposed to be the centerpiece? They're nice… but don't they clash a bit too much with those red flowers you're holding?”

Jeremiah jumps a little hearing your voice, “You scared me! When did you get here?”

“Just now.”

He takes a look at the red flowers in his hand and frowns. “The client wanted both the purple and the red flowers. Though, yeah, the colours don't exactly compliment each other. They're both quite eye-catching so they both steal the spotlight…”

You shrug, “The customer is always right, no?”

Jeremiah sighs, “I'll try a few combinations, take some pictures, and send the client the samples so they can decide. Maybe they'll change their mind when they see it.” He puts down the flowers and turns to you, “So? What are you doing here?”

“Xavier's out with MC, so I came to ask if you wanted to have lunch with me.”

“I'm your go-to backup plan, huh? Why don't you just ask to join them?”

“You know Xavier would hate that.” You cross your arms.

Jeremiah shivers, “That's true. I try to keep away as much as possible when the two of them are hanging out. But…” Jeremiah hesitates as he looks at you, “Aren't you jealous?”

You frown, “Why would I be jealous?”

“You're his fiancée.” Jeremiah gives you a bit of a pitying look.

On Philos, you were a noble who was arranged to marry Xavier, the crown prince. It was something decided by your parents and his so you'd never thought much about it. You and Xavier had never mentioned it to each other either. Plus, you knew Xavier only had eyes for MC. Philos MC that is. The current queen of Philos. You could never see the MC here as your MC. They were different people even though they looked exactly the same. The fact that Xavier fell for that MC felt like a betrayal to Queen MC and you hated that. You wanted Queen MC to be happy, but here Xavier's frolicking with another MC.

You sigh, “That's just something our parents decided. It's not like we have feelings for each other.”

“You don't?” Jeremiah looks skeptical. “You're always looking after him. You cook for him when you're free. You clean his house when it's a mess. You buy him clothes because he's always wearing his worn out sweater or that white hoodie. Heck, you even help him sew up that sweater when it tears!”

“How do you know that?” You purse your lips.

“I can't see Xavier doing that himself.” Jeremiah shakes his head. “You can be honest with me, I swear I won't tell him.”

“I really am just concerned about him. And you should know that I'm mainly concerned about Queen MC. I'm helping her by helping Xavier. Though I don't know if he's even got a plan for what to do next, and he never wants to tell us anything!”

Jeremiah pauses as he contemplated what you just said, “Alright, if you say so.”

“It's true.”

“I'm still not convinced. I know you care for Queen MC a lot, but it still feels like you're doing too much for Xavier to just be ‘helping’ him.”

“Think whatever you want. I just hope we find what we're looking for soon and can get back. I hate that we left her all alone.”

“You could've stayed.” Jeremiah crosses his arms now, “See? Another reason why I feel like you're just here for Xavier.”

“That’s not valid. You could've stayed behind as well. Are you telling me you're in love with Xavier too? Besides, when have I been one to sit and wait?”

You'd even joined Ever once as a researcher to try to help out, but you were too low clearance to know anything about Ever’s more secretive projects. You finally had to quit after a few years so you could avoid questions about your age.

“Too?” It seems he's only hearing things that confirm his suspicions.

You roll your eyes, “I didn't mean to imply me. If anything, you know there's at least one of our former members that had hoped Xavier would notice them.”

“Ah, that's true.” Jeremiah cleans up the flowers. “Anyway, since you made the trip here, I'll take you up on your lunch offer. Are you paying?”

“You can pay for your own food.”

“If I was Xavier, you would've paid for me…”

“No I wouldn't. I’d make Xavier pay. I don't know how, but he's rich, I swear.”

Jeremiah nods, “Wise.”

“I live off a measly writer's salary. Can't expect me to be paying for your meals.”

“A writer's salary that's become quite lucrative from what I've seen. Your books are all over the place.” Jeremiah sounds unimpressed by your fib.

“Ah, didn't realize you paid that much attention to things.” You consider it for a moment. “Fine, since you did help me make my ID for this job. I'll treat you. Celebrate my success.”

“Thanks.” Jeremiah smiles.

You give him a smile back. “Since I'm being generous, I'll let you choose the place.”

“Wow, I think I should be scared now. What's the catch?”

“You have to post on Moments about your love for Xavier.” You smirk. “And make it poetic.”

“Seriously? For one lunch meal that I get to choose?” Jeremiah considers it for a moment then shrugs, “Okay, deal.”

You have him draft his post over lunch.

“Xavier, oh, Xavier! Wherefore art thou, Xavier? The stars doth fail to be as bright compared to thy light. When will thou cometh to see the love that burns through mine heart for thee?”

You comment on it with a shocked emoji, “😱 How did I not realize you felt that way about Xavier? So that's why all those times…”

Jeremiah responds back, “There's no times.”

MC leaves a response as well, “Oh my… 🫢”

Xavier comments too, “Y/N… This is really unoriginal.”

You frown. Why is he so quick to point at you? Couldn't it have been that Jeremiah was drunk posting or something? You ignore it and proceed to capture a screenshot of Jeremiah’s post for future reference.

You lean back against the headboard. In the quiet of your apartment, you are left with your thoughts.

You knew. You knew that what Jeremiah said is true. You knew you've been caring about Xavier too much. You knew you were slightly jealous of MC. You knew you didn't come along solely for Queen MC. You knew it wouldn't have been like this if you'd stayed behind. You knew… you fell in love with Xavier.

It hadn't always been that way. You had become friends with MC on Philos. The MC before Queen MC that is. She was the one that gave you the rabbit keychain. She never told you she was ill, but you could tell from her behaviour that she seemed like someone with no time left. She seemed to take an interest in Xavier, so you'd encouraged her to take a chance and talk to him. They had hit it off.

There were already talks about arranging you to marry him at this point, but you were young and really hadn't wanted an arranged marriage. Besides, when you found out your friend liked him, you were happy for her. She finally gained some light in her life. But then she passed, and a new MC took her place. It was strange at first, how could she look exactly the same? Her personality was different though. She was strong compared to the previous who had a weak constitution. She quickly befriended you though, you training alongside her to be a knight at the academy.

You knew Xavier was drawn to her too. Having witnessed his attempt to save the first MC, you could tell he had an attachment to her. That attachment turned into something more, and when the revelation came… the betrayal and devastation he felt was surely incomparable. You watched as he disappeared, once again desperate to find something while Queen MC patiently waits. Always patient, hoping he'll come back to her. He does. Everytime. But a few days turns to months, to years. He coronates her as queen only to leave again. You couldn't take it, so you went along on their trips.

You learn that they're looking for a special protocore. The aether core… You connected the dots. From what Xavier said about the planet being powered by human sacrifices, and the girl who could be reborn. You could only assume that's what was inside MC’s heart that causes her to be reborn again and again. But you couldn't tell her that. Queen MC has always been driven by duty. She was trained to be the crown prince’s knight and was taught to always follow him. She has sworn loyalty to Philos, and that's why she has decided to be its queen. You knew if you told her she was the solution to Philo’s dying core, she would willingly give herself up to power it.

Xavier knew that too. He'd only ever given her subtle hints that she could never seem to figure out after all. He could have told her outright, but he didn't. Couldn't. He didn't want to lose her again. What you couldn't understand was how he kept thinking of all the MC’s as being the same person. You suppose her body is the same, but without the memories, you didn't think of her as the same. Sure, Queen MC had grown on you and become your friend too, and perhaps she could regain those memories, but that hasn't happened, so you wouldn't equate her to your first MC. And definitely not to the hunter here. This hunter MC hasn't even experienced Philos yet. You suppose she'll one day become that MC, but it's still not the same.

Xavier probably knew that deep down, but her circumstances couldn't be more similar. An aether core in her heart and people after her because of it. Besides, she looks the same, so that must be Xavier’s type. Her personality is more mischievous, and you could tell Xavier wasn't quite used to that, but he must've enjoyed it because you didn't see him complaining. At some point, he must've fallen for this version of MC too. You knew there was a chance the Backtrackers wouldn't be returning to Philos, being branded as traitors and Queen MC declaring Xavier dead. And as hard as Xavier tried, it was hard to get your hands on another aether core. A lot of leads were fake, and other powerful people all had an eye out for it.

At first, you only admired his persistence in saving MC, but then…

Knock knock.

You jump, the knock startling you and interrupting your thoughts. The sound came from your balcony. There was only one person that could be. You get up and open the glass doors, letting him come in.

You stand with your arms crossed, “Haven't I told you many times to enter through the proper door? I'm really not going to let you in next time.”

“You wouldn't.” His EVOL lights up the small lamp on your desk, casting light onto his masked face. “I brought you a snack.”

You snatch it from him quickly and hold it up in disbelief. They were an old rice cracker snack that you thought had been discontinued because you couldn't find it anywhere. “You actually found them!” You can feel the grin pulling at your lips, so you quickly force a frown. “This doesn't make up for you showing up this late at night.”

“As if you were asleep.” He leaves his shoes on your balcony and then walks in as if he owns the place.

“I could've been.” You huff.

“Not since you've started writing, you haven't been.”

You couldn't argue with him, he'd already caught you multiple times writing late at night on his untimely visits.

“It's been awhile since you've worn that mask,” Placing the snack in your cupboard, you turn back to find him raiding your fridge. “...Really?” You then notice a gash on his back, “You got hurt again…” The gash on his back glows a faint green as your EVOL heals it, “I’ve also told you to just take me with you on your night escapades. I could've healed wounds like this right away. You're just risking an infection at this point.”

He feels the back of his shoulder where the injury had been, “Thanks. I'll… think about it. It's dangerous.”

“Dangerous? I have the ability to regenerate so nothing's truly dangerous. I can't reverse fatal blows, but you've got to remember I trained as a knight too.” You cross your arms again.

He comes over and tugs your arms, “All you do is nag… I haven't forgotten… You're one of the strongest knights there is.”

You let your arms fall to your sides with a sigh and walk over to your fridge, pulling out a few side dishes you had made for dinner.

He wraps his arms around you as you stand at the stove, heating them up for him. “I missed you.” He whispers.

This was your little secret. Another one of Lumiere’s secrets.

---------------------------------

Part 1

A/N: Don't mind the weird talk about complimentary colours, this was me trying to have NonMC be knowledgeable about flower arrangement as a noble despite me having no knowledge of it (^^;).

User tag list: @animegamerfox

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