infinitisms

[infinitisms]

re: influences on one another

There are two consistent lines of thought I see with Satoru. 

1. Youth should be cherished, 2. Nurturing the strength of the next generation is the way forwards. 

Personally, I think the first of the two became much more poignant to him following the events of the Star Plasma Vessel arc, prior to which he retained a very juvenile mindset. The second one is one that I feel links a lot more intimately with his relationship with Suguru.

The ideology of becoming a protector is one that Suguru introduces to him, and one that he only eventually picks up for himself as he grows older (particularly after the events of JJK0).  Satoru is far from stupid and isn’t your typical white-knight, and I actually see the two of them being very much in line with one another's struggles and opinions up to a certain point.

In my head, it goes something like this-

Following the Shinjuku encounter, Satoru has a long sit down and finds himself agreeing with a good portion of what Suguru says. This forced moment of understanding is due largely to the fact that having been so close to one another means that he’s likely the only one in any position to empathise with him. Because yes, mortality and injustice are both very real and are both exceedingly hard to discredit with Haibara’s corpse staring him in the face. 

This is a point of selfish reckoning as well, and he really begins to evaluate his own outlook on the world and what the privilege of being the strongest really means. He recognises that he has been very much self-centred in the past (whether intentionally or not) and has fallen out of touch with Suguru’s changing viewpoints and attitudes. This is a realisation which Suguru makes doubly sure to emphasise on their parting (‘if I could become you...’). It’s a cruel but necessary slap in the face, and one that could only have been delivered to such effect by Suguru. All along Satoru hasn’t ever doubted that they’ve stood on equal planes, yet he’s suddenly forced to face the fact that Suguru evidently felt some great measure of disparity between them.

That amount of shared history of course, means that there’s also a good measure of self-guilt thrown into the mix which drives him towards the goal of ‘making things right’. I think a part of him devotes itself to trying to devise a way to essentially save Suguru. Even as things only become progressively bleaker going forwards, he continues to entertain the feeble thought that there might still be a way to reset things by showing Suguru that there is an alternative.

Evidently, genocide isn’t the way to go, hence he begins to think of alternatives- thereafter comes his decision to become a teacher. 

[infinitisms]

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

FRIENDSHIPS

“Allies, not friends.”

Satoru doesn’t quite know how to handle friendships. Not properly.

As a child, he was often kept from interacting with, and ostracised by other children his age. Satoru grew up with the rhetoric that friendships were a burden that would be used against him (ironic how that turned out), and that someone of his strength and standing should prioritise pragmatic alliances over sentimental ones. He’d been born and bred to be the strongest- hence, he was better than all of them anyways.

Likely, this was an excuse conjured to mitigate the unease that came with being so isolated, though this discontent was something he eventually learned to live with. Without a doubt, this would contribute to the way he’d develop in his adolescent years and into adulthood.

To this day it is incredibly difficult to get Satoru to open up and express or discuss any matters regarding genuine emotion. While he often maintains a kind of faux enthusiasm and shallow extroversion- portrayed in his tendency to joke and taunt, this habit of snarking and quipping is a method of deflection, yet another strategy to keep those around him at arm’s length. This mirrors his Infinity in some way- he doesn’t let anyone close enough for fear that they might see beyond the veil of ‘the Strongest’. Distrust is a motif rampant in his psyche (though he does not advertise this, there’s no virtue to be had in flaunting what he privately deems a flaw).

Finally, Satoru is touch starved. His run-in with Toji exacerbated his intense distrust of the world around him (a concept ingrained in him since his childhood, having been subject to countless kidnappings and bounties placed on his head). Ever since he’s perfected the delicate balance of running Limitless and reverse cursed technique simultaneously, his Infinity is rarely inactive.

ROMANCE

Satoru is no stranger to advances of the romantic sort. While his colleagues know better than to extend their affections to someone so utterly self-consumed and insufferable, he’s constantly being handed little anonymous slips of paper at the wide assortment of cafes he frequents. His good looks and charming nature are to blame!

That said, while he’ll flirt for the fun and thrill of it, he rarely- if ever, reciprocates these offers. 

To receive and return this sort of intimacy is a step beyond friendship that he cannot yet tolerate. He cannot sanction the thought of consistently allowing another person into his sphere- to intrude upon his personal space (the contradiction lying therein his concurrent desire for tactile contact) and his private living quarters; to begin to understand his strengths and weaknesses, his desires and dislikes; nor to become familiar with his patterns of living and daily schedules. 

These implications- for someone to know Satoru Gojo insinuates a level of vulnerability that simply cannot be allowed. 

In addition, Satoru finds it difficult to care that deeply for those around him. That’s not to say that he is un-empathetic or dismissive, he adores his students and colleagues platonically, and will protect them as is required. However, he is pragmatic and utilitarian in that he will agree to sacrifice the minority in order to benefit the majority. 

Romantic affection is a wholly different beast. Satoru has never been the considerate sort, and often thinks first (selfishly) of himself. This is a trait which is often incompatible with having to dialogue with a lover. Again, while it is habitually easy for him to be friendly and amiable (sometimes to an overbearing extent), to express genuine feeling remains a struggle (much to the chagrin of those adoring hordes).  

[infinitisms]

satoru is ticklish as hell and you’d probably catch him dead before you caught him stepping in a spa/massage parlour.

[infinitisms]

“Fair enough.” Satoru responded easily, more glib than anything else; remarkable nonchalant for someone who made a habit of SCOURING his conversation partners for any conceivable indication of hesitation or moral infirmity.

“We all do things we regret, repent and be forgiven - yadda yadda. If you’re being genuine, then I’m sure we’ll eventually see eye to eye.”

It was a gross simplification of the process of trust, but Satoru was more than willing to EXPEDITE the process as circumstances demanded. A lot had changed since they’d all set foot in Shibuya on that fateful night.

“How exactly did you get caught up in all of this convoluted bullshit anyway? If I’m not mistaken - you and your brothers are the remnants of Kamo Noritoshi’s whimsy, aren’t you?”

“Well, you’re definitely more than considerate for a CURSE. Can’t say I’ve ever had one buy me a drink.” Satoru winked, lifting the glass to inspect it. The faceted sides of the cup might have distorted his gracious benefactor’s visage, but there was no mistaking the aura - the cursed technique that clung to him like a miasma.

“Choso, right? Yuji’s said some good things about you.” His smile might have been sharp, but it left his eyes thoroughly untouched; his gaze remained a PIERCING derivative of distrust.

“But ah, sorry to disappoint - I'm not quite ready to show quite the same degree of hospitality. I think you’d agree that our last meeting was under less than ideal circumstances.”

[infinitisms]

“The way I see it, a SANDWICH is a sandwich. Bread, bread, something in the middle.” Satoru mimed a gesture that might have loosely resembled the act of stacking objects on top of one another. He wasn’t particularly well-schooled in the art himself. The type of sandwich he tended to get involved with generally came in a plastic convenience store casing - crusts surgically removed from plush white bread framing strawberries and cream.

All talk of nauseating mediocrity aside, it really had been a while since he’d seen Nanami. Satoru had considered him INFALLIBLY steadfast and reliable ever since their high-school days; his devotion to morality a product of grief. There really had been no better person to leave his students to in his absence.

“You should make me a sandwich.” He declared suddenly, struck by a sudden sort of mercurial EPIPHANY characteristic of 'Satoru Gojo' that showed brightly across his face. “Let’s go shopping. It’ll be fun.”

"So COLD, Nanami! Keep that up and I'll catch a chill, phew." A quick scout around the room yielded nothing of any marked interest. Old-timey books, same. Single ( currently occupied ) comfortable recliner, same. Grubby glass-topped table, same. Disgruntled, overworked co-worker struggling through one hell of a midlife crisis, same.

"It's been a month." Satoru declared pointedly, crossing his arms and standing directly before him in such a way that IGNORING him would have been something akin to a Sisyphean task. Or had it been two? Three even? Aw shucks, he really had lost count.

"- a whole month. We usually see each other four hours three times a week on average - that's a total of approximately forty-eight hours of QUALITY time you've been missing!"

"Worst of all, you didn't even reply to that picture I sent you. I thought you liked that kind of thing - sandwich making, business politics, Excel spreadsheets - y'know, mind-numbingly boring stuff."

[infinitisms]

@ntzenin said:

❝ not looking good, eh, my friend? ❞

“Heh! No thanks to you.” It was an odd INVERSION of roles that came with a sense of wrongness like the balance of the universe itself had somehow gone awry. Satoru curled his fingers in a half-bid attempt to centre himself, nails scraping uselessly over worn pavement, packing blood beneath his cuticles. 

How infuriating. It was a mix of something between anger and frustration that filled the space where haplessness and DREAD ought to have settled. Toji ought never have managed to get so close, but Six-Eyes had its - albeit rare - limits, and he’d known just how to find his way through them. 

Satoru gazed up at him. He was little more than a broad-shouldered shadow eclipsing the glaring sun without even an ounce of cursed energy to pique his senses. Like he’d said - infuriating.

“It’s rude to keep someone waiting. So are you going to help me up, or are you going to finish the job?”

[infinitisms]

sharing? glasses or not, it was a ludicrous idea. absolutely out of the question.

" stop staring. go buy your own oreos. "

@dnangelic replied:

oreos....

" these are mine. "

[infinitisms]

@eldestoften replied:

"Noisy...."

" suit yourself. "

[infinitisms]

@dnangelic replied:

oreos....

" these are mine. "

[infinitisms]

noisily dispatching a pack of oreos.

[infinitisms]

resident evil: 4 remake starters

❝ man, that stinks. ❞ ❝ this just keeps getting worse. ❞ ❝ you’re still a kid holding onto fantasies of what’s right and wrong. ❞ ❝ i’m gonna let you in on a little secret. just between us. ❞ ❝ the hell is going on? ❞ ❝ hey, we’re a team, right? ❞ ❝ where’s everyone going? bingo? ❞ ❝ you and me are two sides of the same coin. ❞ ❝ that’s just like you. you always had poor judgement. ❞ ❝ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❞ ❝ like i told you, i’m gonna get you home safe. ❞ ❝ i’m not falling for your mind games. ❞ ❝ you proved you can handle yourself. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed a damn bit. ❞ ❝ you look like you’ve got something to say. ❞ ❝ gotta fix everything myself. ❞ ❝ you can’t run. you got to keep moving forward. ❞ ❝ you’re nothing but an extra in my script. ❞ ❝ i thought you were gonna die. ❞ ❝ i don’t pay you to ask questions. ❞ ❝ there’s no time for resting. ❞ ❝ revenge? you think i’m doing all this…for revenge? ❞ ❝ i need you to trust me, and do exactly as i say. ❞ ❝ you’re too soft to do what’s necessary. ❞ ❝ i know your potential better than anyone. ❞ ❝ you’ve made it all this way, but you haven’t learned a thing. ❞ ❝ maybe you’ll live to meet me again. ❞ ❝ the most important thing in this world is pure, unadulterated power. ❞ ❝ i’ve something to ask you…but i don’t think i’ll get a straight answer. ❞ ❝ you didn’t answer my question. what’re you after? ❞ ❝ you know, you were always an asshole. ❞ ❝ you have a strange sense of humor. ❞ ❝ you are nothing if not unyielding. ❞ ❝ i just wanna feel good about myself. make amends. or something like that. ❞ ❝ just give me a heads-up before you stab me next time, okay? ❞ ❝ it’s okay to be afraid, you know. ❞ ❝ what do you think? people can change, right? ❞ ❝ not looking good, eh, my friend? ❞ ❝ you try to save one person; a hundred others die. ❞ ❝ was that an act of defiance? against me? ❞ ❝ a well-tuned weapon can make up for a lack of skill. ❞ ❝ i’ll let myself out. ❞ ❝ you won’t get away with this. ❞ ❝ be a shame to live the rest of your life wondering ‘what if’ - am i right? ❞ ❝ you have the stench of battle on you. ❞ ❝ so, tell me, why did you come to this horrible place? ❞ ❝ you wanna help? cause i could use it. ❞ ❝ if i could just forget what happened that night, the pain - even for a second… ❞ ❝ i knew i could count on you. ❞ ❝ i think you’d be pretty dashing in it. ❞ ❝ i’m not used to having such good company. ❞ ❝ hey. it’s dangerous outside. ❞ ❝ god damn…i was almost a pancake. ❞ ❝ a lot of people have gone missing around here. and it’s been like that for a while now. ❞ ❝ sorry. i, uh, screwed up. ❞ ❝ i’m so scared. when that happened…i wasn’t myself any more. ❞ ❝ well done. you’ve proven yourself reliable. ❞ ❝ won’t be going anywhere in this thing. ❞ ❝ sorry, didn’t realize that was yours. ❞ ❝ this time, it can be different. it has to. ❞ ❝ everything will work out just fine. ❞ ❝ you missed. that’s not like you. ❞ ❝ come to my rescue, prince charming! ❞ ❝ sometimes it’s more fun not knowing. ❞ ❝ if you do well, i’ll make it worth your while. ❞ ❝ that hurts, you know. ❞ ❝ this is one hell of a gloomy place. ❞ ❝ why help me, though? what’s in it for you? ❞ ❝ oh, well, maybe just untie me then? ❞ ❝ knowledge is power. remember that. ❞ ❝ i can’t tell if that’s meant to be a compliment. ❞ ❝ i’m sure you’ll do your best to help me. ❞ ❝ bill me for the repairs later. ❞ ❝ it seemed like you really wanted to talk. ❞ ❝ you know, those things will kill you. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed. you just think you have. ❞ ❝ don’t let the smallfry distract you from the big fish. ❞ ❝ quiet type, eh? ❞ ❝ guess you picked the wrong spot to vacation. ❞ ❝ a most warm welcome to my castle. ❞ ❝ bet you’ve been in spots like this before. ❞ ❝ to think you could be this foolish. ❞ ❝ give me a break already. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. i wish i could do more to help. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to recall what happened down there. ❞ ❝ years haven’t been kind to us, i suppose. ❞ ❝ finally, some peace and quiet. ❞ ❝ who are you? and what are you doing here? ❞ ❝ i’m just an average guy who happens to be quite the ladies’ man. ❞ ❝ you should really be telling me what a good job i did. ❞ ❝ is this the first time you coughed up blood like this? ❞ ❝ so much for helping me. ❞ ❝ so, who are you working for this time? ❞ ❝ you think i’m gonna give up that easily? ❞ ❝ hey, are you sure you’re good? ❞ ❝ i’m gonna get you home safe. ❞ ❝ i have a plan. but you’re going to have to trust me. ❞ ❝ gimme some space. ❞ ❝ i don’t get you. why risk your life like this? ❞ ❝ it’s a little over-the-top, don’t you think? ❞ ❝ they’re coming! get behind me. ❞ ❝ does that hurt? are you in pain? distressed? ❞ ❝ you are really starting to become a giant pain in my ass. ❞ ❝ you know i don’t work and tell. ❞ ❝ you’ve done well to make it this far. ❞ ❝ tell someone who gives a shit. ❞ ❝ happy to help. now you owe me. ❞ ❝ are you just trying to use me again? ❞ ❝ what’re you, my mother? ❞ ❝ i’m definitely gonna catch a cold. ❞ ❝ this artwork…doesn’t it look like it’s telling some kind of story? ❞ ❝ what do we do? there’s no way out. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong with wanting the same for myself? ❞ ❝ it’s a little old fashioned for my taste. ❞ ❝ you’re losing your cool. making mistakes. ❞ ❝ don’t scare me like that. ❞ ❝ you’re slow. and so goddamn weak. ❞ ❝ wow, you’ve really gone all out for me! you shouldn’t have. ❞ ❝ i will send you back to the hell you came from. ❞ ❝ heheh, having a rough day? ❞ ❝ the reaper comes for cowards and the careless alike. which are you? ❞ ❝ i’ve got to think. need to get my head straight. ❞ ❝ i shall leave tomorrow. go far away. ❞ ❝ here’s my question…have you changed? ❞ ❝ we will beat this. together. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? show no mercy! ❞ ❝ i admit - you’ve done well to stay alive this long. ❞ ❝ this means death. a slow, miserable death. ❞

[infinitisms]

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲… 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲…

[infinitisms]

satoru is fond of taking naps. he falls especially hard to the temptation in car rides over twenty minutes in length, and its definitely pretty common to see him passed out in comfy armchairs, or stretched out to occupy the entire length of a sofa. 

this is admittedly in part due to the strain of his technique, and he was much more prone to napping when he was younger. nowadays, it’s definitely a valid debate as to whether he’s truly tired or just trying to get out of something he doesn’t want to do. 

[infinitisms]

“Well, you’re definitely more than considerate for a CURSE. Can’t say I’ve ever had one buy me a drink.” Satoru winked, lifting the glass to inspect it. The faceted sides of the cup might have distorted his gracious benefactor’s visage, but there was no mistaking the aura - the cursed technique that clung to him like a miasma.

“Choso, right? Yuji’s said some good things about you.” His smile might have been sharp, but it left his eyes thoroughly untouched; his gaze remained a PIERCING derivative of distrust.

“But ah, sorry to disappoint - I'm not quite ready to show quite the same degree of hospitality. I think you’d agree that our last meeting was under less than ideal circumstances.”

@infinitisms asked: ❛ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❜ assorted dialog

"It's just a drink. .........Who's saying I haven't got a heart?"

[infinitisms]

for @starspurn, continued from here.

"Chicken? Why chicken?"

Satoru made a face equal parts disgusted and mocking. Leave it to Suguru to come up with the most terrible analogies. "Everybody knows you'd taste AWFUL in any case. I would've thought it'd be something like having to swallow a super big and ugly curse that looked like your mom - or maybe going bald. Eugh."

The classroom and the network of sprawling corridors surrounding it were practically dripping with cursed residuals. They glowed - an IRIDESCENT mishmash of ill-fitting swatches all blending and twisting and indecipherable; it made his head hurt, an ache that pounded behind his eyes and made his vision blur at the edges.

"Me? I'm not scared of anything. Not even one bit." Satoru declared hotly, crossing his arms and blinking rapidly behind the tinted glass of his shades. "It's all cursed spirits anyway and there isn't a single cursed spirit I won't be able to exorcise so - moot point. It's not my fault that you're so squeamish."

[infinitisms]

fears meme. 

bolded: fears that apply to your muse. italics: makes them uncomfortable

the dark | fire | open water (sea/ocean) | (any) deep water | being alone (for too long) | crowded/enclosed spaces (agoraphobia) | confined spaces (claustrophobia) | open spaces | change | failure | war | being controlled/lack of free will | prison | blood | drowning | suffocation | public speaking | supernatural monsters/animals | heights | death/dying | intimacy | rejection | abandonment | the unknown | the future | not being good enough | scary stories | talking to new people | poverty | loud noises | lack of noise | being touched | powerlessness | bugs | ghosts | growing old | forgetting | rain | lightning | natural disasters | poison | school | hospitals | pain | disease | mirrors | god / religion | falling | buried alive | betrayal | people | social class | freedom | frogs | dogs | challenges | making friends | injury | powerlessness to prevent loved ones from being hurt | marriage | child-rearing | adulthood | the cold

[infinitisms]