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my favourite thing is characters who just met the person theyre literally going to be wildly in love with for the rest of their lives and theyre like “:/ they’re not all that” this is so embarrassing for u

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my latest litmus test for productions and adaptations of hamlet is whether the creator(s) make any thoughtful choices about gertrude at all. they don’t have to do a completely radical against-the-grain gertrude; they just have to do Something. everybody has thoughts and feelings about ophelia, but do you have thoughts and feelings about a woman who’s older and more opaque and ambiguous, who has more power in the play and who doesn’t necessarily look virginal and beautiful, a woman who isn’t so innocent? have you thought at all about what she knows, when she knows it, how she feels about it? when did she know about king hamlet’s murder? does she love claudius? does she drink the poisoned wine on purpose? or does she simply stand there, woman-shaped, and say words

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:3 <- smile for cats, dogs :) <- smile for humans :] <- smile for reptiles, amphibians :> <- smile for birds := <- smile for insects (: <- smile for sinister humans

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OUR COUSIN MADE IT TO THE NFL

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clicking a pen over and over again is actually fun as fuck its a shame it makes everyone in a 30 foot radius want to kill me with a rock

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↪The Second David Job

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"Dragon!" the knight called, "I'm here to end your reign of terror!"

"I merely land by a town and ask if they will give me someone to eat."

"Yet when they offer a sacrifice you spurn it and instead eat the mayor."

"Yes. And if they refuse to sacrifice anyone, I leave."

"That's... Hm. Carry on."

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Dandelions are awesome because they are designed to make the urge to spread their seeds nearly irresistible

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these are KILLING me

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I think more academic programs should let you write a novel as your thesis project, particularly outside the fine arts. Just imagine the kind of bullshit that would result if they let you write a novel for your master's degree in computer science.

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please don’t spend your life convincing yourself that love or joy is reserved for the idealized version of you that only exists in the future

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cut open a package of bacon while making food tonight, and then paused to take a pic because I realized the way I open bacon is probably not normal

is it just me? does anyone else do this?

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Well what the fuck now

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My family had an NES when I was growing up and my dad liked it too. We’d go to thrift stores and grab random cartridges some weekends. One of the games was called Lolo and it was like 99 floors. You were a little blue guy, Lolo. Utterly harmless and trying to navigate the many traps and trials of the tower.

As a family we’d been working through the levels, slowly ascending the tower together and every so often the game would give a code to skip to an upper floor and lock in our progress.

One day it was just my dad and I at home. I was in trouble for some childish misdeed and supposed to be staying in my room, but my dad was playing Lolo so I snuck out of my room to watch. I moved soundlessly over the squeaky wooden hallway and posted to behind the couch where I could still see the TV. We’d been stuck on a specific floor and we knew it was the one that would drop a code so we could skip back to this level. He was at it for a while.

I watched him do a risky maneuver, thinking to myself that it was a pretty ballsy strategy as he only had one life left.

But to our mutual surprise it worked; he succeeded in clearing the floor. In his euphoria he jumped up and whooped, running to my room, so full of joy he needed to share the moment with me. I froze and watched him run down the hall. He looked into my room then looked around in puzzlement, finally spotting me behind the couch.

We stared at each other. I waited to see if I was in more trouble but instead he exclaimed, “You saw me! I did it!��

I jumped up to celebrate with him and we recommenced playing together, excited to see the new level he’d revealed. My earlier misdeed and the sin of sneaking away from the first punishment were both washed away in jubilation. He was just too happy he’d been witnessed.

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I assure you: somebody, somewhere, is on the exact same wavelength as you are.