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inkstaineddove · 4 years ago

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Man as Mirror

Ships: PruAus if you wish; background PruHun and FraAus

Characters: Roderich, Gilbert; mentioned Erzsi + Francis

Summary: Arriving home early from Paris, Roderich encounters a shirtless Gilbert in his kitchen, leading them to have a conversation Roderich could've gone without.

Vienna, 1774.

Once his carriage safely rolled to a stop, Austria stepped out of it and stretched. While even he could not deny the beauty of Paris, nothing pleased the heart quite like home. Servants rushed about him, ushering in his extensive luggage. Sidestepping away from them, he gazed up at the early-morning sky and allowed himself the luxury of taking it all in. The fading purple of night, the sun shyly poking its face out through his hedges, and the birds singing their daily hymns. Truly, there was nowhere quite like home.

Feeling sufficiently uplifted, he entered the home and mindlessly made his way up the stairs. He froze once his hand hovered above the doorknob to his bedroom. He had been burned once before doing this and while, thankfully, all other parties had been asleep, the event had caused him enough mental anguish to power him through another three decades. Still, the desire to change out of his travel clothes was nigh impossible to dismiss. Leaning an ear against the door, his decision was made for him when he heard something like a moan come from Erzsébet. Changing could wait.

All remnants of his good mood dissipated as he silently grumbled to himself about their guest. While it certainly came as no surprise – Erzsébet did this every time he was out of town and, honestly, Roderich had grown to expect it – but hearing them was different. Sure, he was no fool and they made no effort to pretend but having indisputable proof of their trysts was another. Roderich was cursed to have found a spouse and enemy full of cunning. He noted that, if the two of them ever put their powers to good use, he’d have to compliment them for it. For now, while he was their target, any appreciation was out of the question.

He felt his body yearning for caffeine and knew what the next item on his agenda must be. Still lost in his thoughts, he was completely caught off guard at the sight of a bare-chested Gilbert standing over the kitchen counter. It was comical, really, watching such a brutish man delicately pour cream into two dainty mugs, mentally measuring out the right amounts. Roderich stood back and watched the whole performance in domesticity, studying the man before him as he never had before. The way his back and shoulder muscles shifted with each movement; how he never slouched even when it would be far more comfortable to; how the whole time, he never stopped humming marches to himself.

This scene felt too intimate and Roderich understood that he was not its intended audience. What he needed most from his rival now was hostility and not misguided fantasies of marital bliss. He cleared his throat and stepped into Gilbert’s line of sight. “For me? How sweet of you.” He snatched the mug closest to him and added in his usual five spoonsful of sugar. He held up a finger when he felt Gilbert gearing up to protest. “She’s still asleep. Besides, no one likes waking up to cold coffee. It sets such a tone for the day.”

They settled into a tense silence, neither one wanting to acknowledge the other. It was childish, Roderich understood, but failing to will the other out of his existence was better than devolving into petty insults or a physical altercation. And, if he ignored all rational thoughts, he didn’t even care. When around each other, what else were they but ancient children? There was no reason for them to speak, why invent one?

“Paris again? How many times have you been there over the last three months?” There almost appeared to be a hint of affectionate teasing in Gilbert’s words.

Roderich turned to face him and was surprised to find Gilbert already observing him with mild interest. What a strange morning, one he wished he could find some escape in by returning to bed but felt certain would provide him with no real escape. If anything, the pair would wake him up and demand he leave his own damn bed for another room, that’s how selfish they were. Against his will, he felt himself noticing the strength in Gilbert’s body, all broad shoulders and muscle, the physique of the ideal warrior. All suddenly clicked on why Roderich always found himself flat on his ass whenever they’d begin to trade blows. His arrogance had blinded him to the fact that imperial power mattered little when they weren’t trying to kill each other on the battlefield. With biceps like that, his only chance to get the upper hand would be a swift kick to the groin, which even at his worst he was too principled to resort to.

He was brought back to reality when Gilbert began snapping his fingers in his face. “Jesus, has anyone ever told you how creepy that staring thing you do is? Like you were trying to undress me with your eyes.” He straightened up and shivered. “Commission a portrait, it’ll last longer.”

“Please, don’t be so crass. This,” Roderich flippantly pointed to Gilbert’s outfit, “is already enough. If I imagined you in any less, I’d be ill for at least a month.”

Gilbert smirked as he took a sip. “Funny, most people have the opposite reaction.” He leaned his hips back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Now, how much more stalling can you do? What’s kept you in Paris so much? I don’t recall most treaties taking that much time to…hammer out.” He bit his lip, trying to suppress his snickering.

“It’s rude to talk work at breakfast.” Austria couldn’t be bothered to mask his irritation. Things such as ‘politeness’ and ‘civility’ always seemed to go to waste on Prussia. “And, if you’re fishing for what’s in our agreement, you’ll have no such luck from me. You’re wasting your time.”

“You think I give a damn about what’s on a fucking piece of paper? As if I’d be wasting my time on that. I don’t know who blabs more for the right price, your officials or France’s.” Gilbert’s demeanor was too casual. “Most of the time, we don’t have to go to those damn meetings anyways. We’re little more than decorations, the bureaucrats have everything written before they even breathe a word to us. We know that, they know that. There are always ulterior motives for our little business trips. Whenever I come here, I tell my current minder I’ll be off doing a diplomatic something-or-other in Vienna for a week, don’t wait up. They buy it even though they know the real reason I come to this shrine of gaudy antiques.”

“Your point, Gilbert?”

“My point is that you’re no different. Sure, you tell everyone that you’re renegotiating this or that little detail and maybe your officials believe it. And you tell it to Erzsi, and she believes it since it’s easier than thinking the husband she loathes so much is just as miserable as her. And maybe you believe it too because you have to lie to yourself first to lie to everyone else. But you can’t fool me.”

The whole time he spoke, Roderich was staring down into the contents of his mug. When all was quiet between them was when he finally looked up, laughing. “You must be desperate if you’re begging to get a morsel of gossip on me from me.”

Gilbert scoffed. “I’m not fishing for gossip. If I was, I would’ve gone through your letters while you were gone. And, before you ask, I’ve never done that. Not for lack of trying, I’m just not good at picking locks.”

The vein behind Roderich’s left eye began pulsating. He rubbed his temple gingerly, wincing. “I think I prefer it when you act like you can’t stand to be in the same room with me. Why the annoying younger brother schtick?”

“Maybe I’m making up for lost time.” For added emphasis, Gilbert made sure to loudly schlurp down a sip. Roderich’s wince at such a noise caused him to snort some coffee out his nose. Wiping it away, he grinned. “Or maybe I just want you to stop thinking you’re any better than me. Get you when you’re unguarded.”

“There’s a glaring hole in your plan. You’ve forgotten that I would never allow myself to be so vulnerable around you, no matter what time of day it is.” He mockingly shook his head, tutting. “I understand that, for now, we’re officially getting along just fine, but don’t mistake that for camaraderie. The first chance either of us gets, we’ll be back to stabbing each other in the back for sport. It’s who we are.”

“Well, aren’t you a pessimist.”

“Hardly. I simply know our natures too well,” Roderich sighed, growing weary at this line of conversation. “So, if this is only temporary, why should I feign tolerance towards you? Quite honestly, you’re not important enough to me for that sort of performance. Even if you were, you would see right through it. No, my energy is better spent on nobler pursuits.”

Gilbert had set his mug down, now drumming his fingers on the countertop. “I’m not asking for friendship; I’m asking for honesty.” He rolled his eyes with the temperament of a teenager. “Whatever. You got me sidetracked. It’s pointless anyways; you’re too delusional.”

“Excuse me?” That was quite the accusation from an unusual source. “At this point, you may as well come right out and say it.”

“If you insist,” Gilbert’s tone lilted up, songlike and jeering. “What you won’t admit is what I started this whole conversation with. All these trips to Paris, they’re not about work or diplomacy or any of your other shitty excuses. I know and you know that the only purpose is to blow a load in Francis’ ass and get away from your miserable life.”

Roderich set his mug down gently. There was no need for it to spill, to make a mess all over the clean marble. “For a moment, I’m going to ignore the vulgar insinuation you’ve made about my relationship with Francis.” He looked up, not breaking eye contact with Gilbert. “You know nothing about my life and my contentment with it. I understand that you are a deeply unhappy and wretched creature and why shouldn’t you be? There is nothing for you to go home and boast about, no shining accomplishments of yours not bathed in the blood of an innocent people, but do not project your misery onto me. For all your crowing to the contrary, we have never been, nor will we ever be, the same.”

Gilbert scoffed. “And everything you’ve ever done, there was only glory to be found there? All the princes you absorbed into your own lands, they were willing? The Bohemians, the Hungarians, they love your rulers? Are you pretending that only Russia and I invaded Poland because I remember seeing you at the table, carving out portions for yourself.”

“I’m not so naïve to believe I haven’t picked up the sword before. And, if necessary, I would again. You’d be wise to remember that.” Roderich straightened up, pulling his shoulders back. “But I’ve achieved just as much without force as with. The home we’re currently standing is a monument to such.”

“Please. It’s a monument to other people’s power and what it can get you. We don’t impact change, we just ride the waves of it,” Gilbert sneered. “This house is a prison for all who come in it. A golden cage is still a cage, Roderich, even for the largest bird.”

Roderich sighed with a roll of his eyes. “Mixing your metaphors doesn’t make you sound wiser, I’ve told you this before.” Needing caffeine for his growing headache, he took a sip. “I assume you’re including yourself among the captives.”

“To a degree. I can leave whenever I want – as you love to point out, I do have my own house – but where would one of us be without the other two? We are the protagonists of our own tragedy.”

“I sincerely regret that old king of yours got you into theater. Next you’ll be telling me how all the world’s a stage and we are but merely players.” When Gilbert opened his mouth to comment on that, Roderich held up his hand. “That wasn’t an invitation for your Shakespearean theories!” He rubbed the bridge between his nose, his prior weariness intensifying. “Why does it matter to you so much? Why must I parade my discontent as you and Erzsébet do? If you make your life’s purpose revenge against an unjust world – there you go! I admit it’s unjust! – you are sure to become more miserable than ever before. Perhaps you should learn that before it destroys you like one of your dear tragedies.”

“It matters because you act like you’re superior to us in every way when, really, you’re no different. And I don’t think I’ll ever understand that,” Gilbert’s voice softened with something akin to regret.

Something in his tone of voice, in his posturing, lit a fire within Roderich. His eyes hardened and he pressed his lips into a scowl. “Understanding is what you want? If it’ll get the defiling power of your pity off me, then so be it! I am better than you in every conceivable way. If I am to you but a mirror, peer close and you’ll realize it too. Where you feel trapped by the circumstances life has thrown us in, with a life that can never truly be our own, I’ve taken what you’ve failed to grasp. While you were slaughtering pagan Easterners in your little bog, I was here, accumulating wealth and power you’ve only fantasized about. I am the seat of an empire that you only have access to through Brandenburg.

“But those are meaningless things, aren’t they? Because here’s what really matters to you – the only thing, isn’t it? I’ve seen how you stare; I know that look – I’ve got what a childhood spent pining among the monks prevented you from getting. Did you ever mention it to them? How young love made that vow of celibacy torturous? How close did you come to breaking it? How many Hail Mary’s did they make you perform for every impure thought? Do you wonder what they’d think of you now, going through all this because you’re in love with your brother’s wife? Phrased just so, they would burn you at the stake again. Ah, but the hellfire is familiar, isn’t it?” Roderich glanced at the clock hanging behind Gilbert’s shoulder. “Erzsébet should be waking now. Go play domestic and bring my wife some coffee.”

Roderich forced himself away from Gilbert, who was left crestfallen with his wide eyes and gaping mouth. He had said enough, gloating would be overkill. He entered his study and locked the door. If there would be consequences for his monologue, let them come later.

The day was still new. Roderich stared out the window. Despite checking the clock, his adrenaline had made him forget the time. He approximated it was no more than nine. He began pouring himself a glass of brandy, but stopped, preferring to drink from the bottle. He gazed around the vast emptiness of the room beyond its sole occupant. He raised the bottle for a toast:

“To the prison of my own making. There is no place quite like home.”

#aph prussia #hws prussia #aph austria #hws austria #pruaus

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inkstaineddove · 4 years ago

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Mistaken Identity

Ships: PruHun

Characters: Prussia, Austria, Hungary

Summary: After months locked inside, all Gilbert wants is to get back out and have a good time. Erzsébet wants to follow the rules, which isn't any fun with me. In comes Roderich and a tacky-yet-apt masquerade ball as Gil's only refuge.

Budapest, 2020.

Erzsébet sat hunched over her desk, her eyes burning from staring at a screen for far too long. Each day brought more work than she had ever remembered dealing with – more than that brought on by war, which pushed every official to their limits. The futility of it all hit her. Any dent in it she made today was meaningless compared to tomorrow’s downpour of papers, emails, and conference calls. She shut the folder she had been staring at. If she stayed here any longer, she was certain she would go mad. A break was needed.

In a few steps she was in her bedroom, crashing down onto the bed. She closed her eyes and snuggled into her sheets, a small smile appearing on her face. At last, she found peace as her responsibilities melted away.

“Erzsi!” Gilbert’s voice called up to her from downstairs. She heard feet marching towards her. She hid her face beneath the blankets, childishly hoping that if she couldn’t see him, he would give up and leave.

Silence settled over the home and she didn’t dare breathe. ‘Five minutes alone,’ she half-prayed, half-chanted to herself in her mind.

It wasn’t to be. The bed groaned under the weight of an intruder and a calloused hand lovingly rubbed the small of her back. “Are you alright?” When she didn’t answer, he tried asking again, this time in Hungarian.

Damn his persistence. “I’m fine. It’s been a long day.” Erzsébet moved the pillow, smiling weakly at him. “I was hoping to take a little nap before dinner.”

“Rest up. You’ve been working so hard.” He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

She waited for him to leave. Instead, she felt him shift into a more comfortable position. She sighed softly through her nose. “Gil, I was hoping to take a nap alone.”

“You were? I didn’t realize. I’ll go.”

She felt his presence in the room still. She opened one eye to see him standing in the doorway, looking unsure. “Something the matter, kedvesem?” She didn’t care that her irritation came through in her tone. All the better for him to finally get the memo that his presence was unwanted.

In any other time, his bashfulness would’ve been charming. Gilbert scratched the back of his neck, his eyes studying the rug at the foot of the bed. “Nothing! Nothing really. I just…saw online that our favorite bar reopened and, since tomorrow’s Saturday, I thought it would be nice if we went out. For one night.” He saw her disapproving look and took a step forward, his hands held together as if he were praying. “Please, Erzsi. We don’t have to be there for long! One hour, that’ll be enough! Shit, if that’s too long we can have a drink and leave!”

This again? “No. We’re not going. How many times do I have to tell you that? We’re to set a good example.” She shut her eyes and rolled to her side, willing him away with her mind.

“What does it matter what we do if the fucking country is open? Who are we setting an example for, the elderly?” Seeing that he failed to get a reaction from her, he crawled to her side of the bed on his knees. “I need to leave this house. I haven’t been to a bar in months! I miss talking to people! I’m going insane. I’m on the verge of a breakdown. I might start drawing faces on inanimate objects and talking to them!”

“I understand, Gil. But it’s important to do what’s right. Now, please, let me sleep. I’m tired of having this argument with you.” She kissed his hands before turning her back to him.

“Fine then. Be that way. I’ll go out by myself,” he grumbled.

“Having the house to myself? Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Erzsébet smirked. An idea began formulating in her mind. She jolted up, grinning. “Wait! I remember! You know who said he missed seeing us? I can’t leave since I’m so weighed down with work, but I’m sure Roderich would love to have you visit for the weekend.”

Gilbert gave her a skeptical look. “He would never say that.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure, he wouldn’t say it to you, but to me is another matter. Why the hesitation? Wouldn’t that get you out of the house and around other people? There’s no downside to visiting.” A mischievous glint flickered within her eyes. “It’ll be good for us, too. Isn’t it always better to see each other after a little time apart? Think of the reunion.”

There was something he couldn’t argue with. Sufficiently persuaded, he rose from his place at the side of the bed. “I’ll start packing now.”

…

Vienna.

Roderich had never felt more alive. What a glorious time this was! Gone were the days of hurrying between government buildings, of watching Parliament argue with dull-eyed boredom, of having to deal with each nation and their idiosyncrasies in negotiations that never ended. The only reason he left home now was of his own volition, not due to the mandates of the day. While having only a fraction of his usual servants on staff presented its own challenges, the fact that he no longer had to make monthly trips to Brussels to hear France and Germany argue with Britain over the minutiae of trade outweighed it all.

His fingers glided over the soft ivory of his piano. A triumphant melody rose from them, one his heart had specially crafted for this moment. He closed his eyes while he played, allowing himself the luxury of getting lost in it. A light knock on the door interrupted him. In too high of spirits to be annoyed, he swiveled to face the butler. “Is something the matter?” Roderich’s voice held no malice or irritation, only curiosity at what was so important that it had to be discussed now.

“Herr Beilschmidt is here, sir,” the butler spoke with an apologetic smile. He had been employed here for some time and had heard many of Roderich’s complaints over the years.

“How odd. It’s not like Ludwig to pop in without telling me beforehand. Did he seem distressed? Something must be wrong for him to – you’re shaking your head? My God, don’t tell me.” Fear sunk like lead in Roderich’s stomach. He didn’t have the patience for whatever antics this would entail. Not when these last few months have been a peace he hadn’t known in centuries. “This is an absurd ask, but you understand. I need you to buy me time. I’ll escape out the upstairs window. Thank you.” He gave the poor butler no chance to respond as he scurried out the room.

Never had Roderich been so grateful for the size of his home. He cut through the servants’ quarters, knowing that would be the safest route. Halfway up the stairs, he heard Gilbert’s outrage and the sound of his voice growing nearer. Hurrying faster, he took the stairs two at a time, no longer caring if he was noticed so long as he got away.

With his adrenaline pumping hot through his veins, he fumbled with the window latch which cost him precious seconds. He looked down, trying to determine whether jumping or climbing would be the better option. Whatever damage he may incur from jumping would be minimal in the grand scheme of things, it would be quite the humiliation if he were caught. While he knew Erzsébet had climbed out from the bedroom window many a time while they were married, she had athleticism he lacked. Wouldn’t the embarrassment be worse if he were found barely hanging onto a windowpane and required Gilbert’s assistance? He would never be allowed to live that down and would, at least, face Ludwig and Erzsébet’s teasing for that. No, jumping would be the better option.

He felt a firm hand on his shoulder and knew the chase was over. “If you miss the times when Czechia would throw you out a window, I’d be more than happy to take over for her.” He could hear the smirk in Gilbert’s voice and wanted nothing more than to smack it off him.

“I would prefer if defenestration remained one of the few tortures you haven’t subjected me to. Though I will remember your kind offer.” Roderich shrugged his hand off him and turned around, arms crossed. “Why are you here? Is your visit more bad karma for another of my supposed crimes?”

Gilbert rolled his eyes, fishing around for something in his pocket. “What’s all the melodrama for? Is the only way you can admit you’ve missed me is if I’ve been locked up behind a wall for thirty years?” Finding what he was looking for, he shoved a square of paper into Roderich’s chest with an annoyed smile. “Erzsi told me to give this to you and made me promise not to read it. Maybe this will get the stick out your ass enough to let me stay.”

If he wanted to be welcomed, Roderich would give him a welcoming. He began fanning himself with his hand, contorting his face into one of mocking admiration. “You’re right! How could I be so rude to his greatness? I should be kissing your ass more for daring to grace me with your presence! My most humble and sincere apologies.” He curtseyed with a smirk, fueled by Gilbert’s own irritation. He took the letter and opened it, reading:

‘Dear Roderich,

I’m sorry to drag you into the middle of this, but aren’t you used to that? I can’t take another moment of us living together when neither of us can leave the house for hours on end. If I sent him back to Berlin, I know he’d get on Ludwig’s nerves and I’d feel too guilty about that. Have you talked to him recently? The poor little thing sounds so much more stressed than usual! I can hardly blame him, but I don’t want to add to it unnecessarily. Not for my own selfish needs.

And, while I’m sure you’re just as stressed, at least you can lock Gilbert away in some far corner of the house. There must be plenty to do with a reduced staff – my heart goes out to you for our last call when you bitched about it repeatedly – so he would be kept occupied for a few days. Why am I acting like he’s such a burden? I don’t have to be worried about either of you killing the other anymore.

Do I? This means the world to me that you’ve agreed – you won’t turn me down. Think of all the years you owe me for – and I’m sorry for imposing on you so suddenly. Oh! And before I forget: he’s like a dog yet to be trained. Despite all his begging and his pathetically cute pouting, don’t let him leave the house. I’ve tried to tell him how important it is to set an example, but he’s too damn stubborn.

With love,

Erzsébet’

Roderich smiled and nudged Gilbert, who was reading over his shoulder, with his elbow. “That’s rare. She closed a letter to me ‘with love.’ That’s only happened three other times before and one of those was when she wrote telling me she wanted a divorce.” He gave a self-deprecating little chuckle and slipped it into his pocket. He noticed Gilbert’s wince and rolled his eyes. “Spare me your pity. I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t find it funny. Is she really keeping you cooped up inside? That’s ridiculous.”

“Isn’t it? And it’s not just her! Fucking Ludwig gives me no mercy whenever I’m back home to take care of whatever. He even forced me to live with him while this is going on so he can watch me. As if I’m the child that needs to be disciplined!” Gilbert crossed his arms and scowled. “It’s insulting, Roddy. All under the guise of ‘setting an example’ and ‘being a moral leader,’ as if anyone’s turned to me for morality!”

Roderich found himself annoyed on Gilbert’s behalf. He shook his head, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. “I’m assuming all you’re begging for is one measly little beer at whatever bar that’s closest.” At Gilbert’s nod in the affirmative, Roderich scoffed. “Ah, yes. Going for a pint will surely bring about the fall of civilization! Thank whatever divinity control the fates that Erzsébet and Ludwig are working so valiantly to prevent it! And the nerve of him! This is what you get for telling him you two were brothers. If he were raised to view us as fathers, he would have a bit more reluctance to tell you what you could and couldn’t do.”

“Yeah, well, just add that to the ever-growing list of my fuck ups. Mind if I smoke in here? This is getting me all riled up again.” By the time he asked, he already had a cigarette between his teeth and was fishing for his lighter.

“You can if you give me one. I ran out this morning. The ashtrays on the dresser.” Roderich caught the cigarette tossed to him and the lighter that shortly followed. He shook his head. “It’s your fuck up just as well as mine. Saved us trouble then only to get us into more now. Whenever I’ve talked to him over the past few months, he’s been on my case as well. One time I hung up on him because he was getting too sanctimonious even for me.”

Gilbert exhaled the smoke from his nostrils, giving him the appearance of a dragon. “Honestly, I could handle it if it were just him. He tried the same act during the war to get us to stop smoking and look how well that turned out. But Erzsi! What happened to my partner in crime? I can’t even look at the front door without hearing a lecture! When did the rules start mattering to her? Goddammit, until now, they’ve always been meant to be broken!”

“It is rather rich coming from her. Could bend every rule for centuries as long as it was for her own gratification. And, for that to happen, you would be the one to drop everything and break into my home! That’s fairytale devotion – and lawlessness, thank you for stopping that after the divorce – so why is it so impossible for her to reciprocate?” Roderich flicked some ashes on the floor. They would be someone else’s problem to clean up.

“If I knew where it went, believe me, I’d be back home!” He paused, hung up on a technicality. “Well, her home. No, fuck it, it’s my home too! Whatever! I tried asking her about it, but lord. You would not believe the bitching she can do!”

Roderich gave him a look. “Believe me, I know.” Rolling his eyes at the memories, he sighed. “It’s a shame that she’s turned into a complete killjoy. I hope for our sake this is only due to stress. The dynamic wouldn’t be the same without her.” An idea came to mind and he straightened up, thrilled with his own brilliance. “But who needs her? I almost forgot I was invited to this little soiree tonight. I’ll take you with me! It’ll be like a boy’s night out!”

“I’ll go if you never say ‘boy’s night’ to me again. Don’t try to be what you’re not.” Gilbert thought it over. While he was sure whatever kinds of things Roderich got invited to wouldn’t normally be his thing, the prospect of social interaction was too great to turn down. Besides, what was there to lose? “What kind of party are we talking about?”

“A masquerade. It’s appropriate, but the tackiness initially turned me off. If it weren’t for you, I would prefer to sit this one out. Lord knows I’ve done enough schmoozing with old and new money to last me several hundred lifetimes. What? Why are you scowling like that?”

“You know I hate shit like that. Everyone’s always so uptight and you have to be on your best behavior. There’s no way to have any fun!” Gilbert smirked, remembering the few he enjoyed. “The only reason I came to yours was because the afterparties were mind-blowing.”

Roderich held up a hand, a look of disgust on his face. “Don’t paint me a picture when I’ve already seen the film. Multiple times.” He shuddered. “Stepping out of the past, whatever happens in the present is up to you. I’m more than happy staying home. Unlike you, I’ve been living the good life. But you should be smart. This could be the only chance you get to see your fellow man. You’ll have to go home eventually and who knows when she’ll let you outside.”

He laid his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling with a smirk. He knew all it took was a little prodding from the devil to get Gilbert to act. While he normally preferred to not be so heavy-handed in his persuasion, it was necessary in certain cases when dealing with a particularly dense individual. Roderich puffed some smoke out the side of his mouth and checked his wristwatch. It was only a matter of seconds now…

“You’re right! Let’s go, we can make it fun. And it’s a masquerade so I don’t even have to worry about embarrassing you. It’s perfect!” Gilbert put out his cigarette in the ashtray. “We’re close enough in size, right? I’ll have to borrow something.”

…

They were there for all of five minutes and Gilbert was already regretting their decision to go. He had been abandoned as soon as Roderich sighted some aristocrat or other who needed to be fawned over. The few Gilbert had interacted with wanted nothing else to do with him once they’d sniffed out his quickly falsified noble ancestry. Apparently, all feuds between Austrian lords and Prussian Junkers hadn’t been forgotten.

“Bunch of fucking snobs anyways. As if I’ve ever needed their approval,” he grumbled into his scotch. The only mercy was the fully stocked bar he could camp out by. If his only entertainment would be to get so drunk he’d have to be carried out, then so be it. What did he care? Not like he was the one who had to pay for anything.

He sighed. Where were Francis and Antonio when he needed them? Hell, he was so desperate he’d even take Ivan, if only to have someone he could get away with being a jerk to. The guy would’ve probably smuggled some homemade vodka in and all Gilbert needed was half a bottle to be on top of a table, singing battle hymns at the top of his lungs.

Looking around the room, he finally found his entertainment. Roderich was talking with a beautiful woman – not only that, but he seemed to actually be making her laugh. A surge of pride filled him. Gilbert resisted the urge to start cheering him on. Instead, he watched closely, living vicariously through his every gesture. He hardly touched the drink beside him that now grew warm.

Then, suddenly, there was a change in the woman’s posture. Without hearing what was said, he could only speculate, but he’d seen Roderich at work enough to have some educated guesses. Gilbert kicked himself for hanging back this long. If this were to be saved, an expert wingman was desperately needed.

As Gilbert started making his way over towards them, a better idea sprung to mind. Where would be the fun in helping Roderich along? If he was going to interfere, why not gain some personal satisfaction too? He had no intentions of trying to bed the woman – that would go against one of his three principles – but a little flirting to get in his cousin’s head? Well, wasn’t that his favorite blood sport?

Coming up behind him, Gilbert clapped Roderich on the shoulder. “Roddy! There you are. I’ve been looking for you.” Taking in the sight of the woman before them, he feigned surprise. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was intruding on something.”

“Now you know so go away,” Roderich hissed under his breath, jamming his elbow into Gilbert’s side.

The woman appeared to sigh in relief at the company. She smiled at Gilbert, making her beauty all the more apparent than it was when he was still at the bar. “You’re not intruding at all. I hadn’t realized you had someone with you, Roderich.”

Both men spoke at the same time, wishing to combat any insinuation they came as a couple. As Roderich rushed out that they were cousins, Gilbert blurted out that they were brothers. They stared each other down, silently willing the other to concede and kicking themselves for not ironing out a story until this moment.

Thankfully, she only seemed bemused by their mistake. “Must be one complicated family tree you two have.” She studied Gilbert carefully. He could’ve sworn he saw something like familiarity in her eyes, but he was hardly paying attention to such trivial things. He was too fascinated with the way the gold on her mask brought out the streaks of amber out of her eyes. He swore they had some magical property to them. “I hope I’m not being rude, but I swear I’ve seen you before. I don’t think yours is a face I would ever forget.”

“I doubt we have. A man would have to be blind and stupid to not remember a woman with your beauty. Damn, look at me. Get me out of the house and I forget all my manners.” He took her hand in his and bent down, bringing it too his lips. His eyes looking up at her, enclosed behind their wolfish shell, truly made him appear animalistic. “My name’s Gilbert and I hope my…friend hasn’t been harassing you for too long. He never knows when to shut up.”

Roderich stared at them with open-mouthed fury. “We were having a perfectly fine conversation before you sauntered along and had to turn the spotlight back on yourself. And now you’re going to put on this whole chivalrous act, as if anyone in their right mind would believe it.” He straightened up, turning to the woman with an incredulous roll of the eyes. “He owes you, and any other poor woman he’s berated, his sincerest apologies. Especially since he has a wife back home who would be thrilled to hear of this.”

That got her attention, though Gilbert feared it was for the worse. If only the snout of her fox mask didn’t obscure the little smile she tucked away. She leaned over, pretending to examine his left hand. “A wife? Where’s your ring? Did you cheap out on the poor woman?”

Roderich was in his element now. He clutched a hand to his chest, sighing dramatically. “A scoundrel like him? He couldn’t even afford to buy a ring from a pawn shop, much less going to any actual jeweler. Years ago, he might’ve been able to. Poor fool disgraced our father and he cut him out of the will.” He bent down to the woman’s height and cut a sharp glance at Gilbert before stage-whispering, “I only take him to these events out of pity. Charity to the poor and all that.”

This was really how they were going to do it? Gilbert straightened up, ready to defend his faux reputation. “My ring got a bit small; I’m having it resized. And I’m not trying to run around behind her back. When you have a good thing, you don’t intentionally ruin it.” He sneered at Roderich, all the knives out. “Though, he is the expert on sleeping around. How many marriages have you been through? Better yet, how many affairs? Actually, don’t start listing them. We’d be here through next month.”

The woman pretended to gasp, quickly covering her mouth with her hand. She didn’t wish to bruise their egos by letting her laughter slip. “I don’t know how anyone could cheat on their spouse. It’s the coward’s way out of the relationship.” She stared Roderich down, biting the inside of her cheek. “I’m sure you’d agree, Roderich.”

Roderich tensed up, his hands balling into fists by his side. It hardly helped that Gilbert was snickering besides him, feeling oh-so-proud of the ship he was sinking. “Believe me, I agree completely. He’s the one who lacks all understanding of these things. I can’t believe he’s neglected to mention how he met his wife. How odd, considering that’s one of his favorite stories to tell.” He tapped a finger against his chin, sighing wistfully as he recalled the memories. “I can’t believe you haven’t brought up the fact that the only reason you have a wife is because you stole mine. Right! You’re so ego obsessed that it must’ve slipped your mind due to the unflattering, yet all too accurate, picture it paints of yourself!”

Gilbert immediately jumped to his own defense. On and on they bickered like this, throwing in barbs both old and freshly invented. It didn’t take long for them to forget they had an audience until they were only focused on each other and inflicting as much pain as possible. When a few glances were passed their way, they finally had enough good sense to retreat into a corner of the room.

While receiving an earful about setting Gilbert’s newborn on fire, Roderich began impatiently looking around the room. Only then did he realize how alone the two of them were. “You ass! Look what you’ve done! You scared the poor woman off and ruined any chance I had.”

Her disappearance snapped Gilbert out of his fog. He blinked in confusion, staring lamely ahead. “No shit?” Her absence completely took him by surprise, deflating him. “Huh, I figured that would turn out better than it did. Damn, what a waste. That’s not as fun as it used to be.”

“That’s why you went through with that? As some kind of perverse joke at my expense? You bastard! You absolute bastard! My happiness is a joke to you! Still, after all these years!” Roderich began hitting him in the arm, increasing in strength and speed each time. “I had a chance! I had a good chance and you had to waltz in and ruin it for me! All for your own amusement! Are you laughing, yet? Are you fucking laughing?”

Gilbert grimaced, doing his best to protect his face. “Give it up. I only came over when I saw she wanted to get away from you. The only chance you had with her was in your fantasies. You should thank me, I’m the whole reason she stuck around for that long.” When a blow landed on his cheek, he scowled. “You hit me again and I’m breaking your damn arm.”

As Roderich opened his mouth to retaliate, the host began clinking his glass. He huffed, glaring with an intense hatred that hadn’t been there in at least a century. “You haven’t heard the end of this. When we get back home, you won’t know what peace is.”

Like any mature adult, Gilbert stuck his tongue out. “I’m shivering.”

They hung to the back of the crowd, neither wanting to draw further attention towards themselves. They listened passively to the host’s speech. It was nothing important, the usual platitudes and calling out certain guests to thank them for coming. The only recognition either gave that they were listening was a polite little nod Roderich gave upon his own name being uttered.

What snapped them back to reality was the woman’s name being called and her long trip from Budapest being commented on, which Erzsébet politely laughed at. “I don’t know how, but I managed to sneak out for one night,” was all she needed to say. It was enough, it was enough for them both.

An understanding passed between them. There needed to be payback, some retaliation for the grief she’d too willingly put them through. And it had to be soon, before the moment passed.

Gilbert cupped his hands around his mouth. “Erzsi! We love you! We’re your biggest fans!” He went all in, cheering her on as if she were some starlet at a movie premiere. Why did he care about dignity, anyway? He had embarrassed himself plenty of times in front of these aristocrats’ ancestors and he would provide their descendants with a show now. It was all the same to him.

Surprisingly, Roderich joined in with full enthusiasm. Begging for her autograph, asking who she was wearing, and any other absurd request he could think of. If pressed about this later by any of the other guests, he decided he’d plead either temporary insanity or drunkenness. He wouldn’t be surprised if they believed him; most in attendance here were vacuous enough to believe anything if it were inane enough.

There was no question that they’d be allowed to stay after such an eruption. Some block-headed guards escorted them out of the home, but neither cared. The look of outrage on her face – the embarrassment, the upset – that had been worth it in the moment. Sitting out on the curb on cold and uncomfortable concrete, it was worth it if it humiliated her just the same.

Roderich’s head was buried deep in his hands, mask discarded in his lap. He was statuesquely still, deep somewhere in the recesses of his mind. Out of nowhere, he began laughing and shaking his head. He tilted his head back up at the stars. “Damn her,” he exhaled out.

Gilbert, confused by the sudden outburst, leaned away from him. God forbid the momentary madness was contagious. “What’s your problem?”

“Don’t you get it? This is all our existence is ever going to be, where she curses us to keep debasing ourselves for her amusement and favor. Any of the noble pretenses she’s claimed it was about, that’s never mattered! Not love, not autonomy, not any of it! Our mental health is worth nothing more to her than a couple cheap laughs and a power trip.” He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up and giving him the appearance of something wild. Roderich barked out another laugh. “And, to think, it took me this long to realize it! All the fighting, all the animosity, all of it for nothing. Tonight proves we wasted centuries.”

“Do you hear yourself right now?” Gilbert rolled his eyes. “Why are you looking for deeper meaning in this? We got tricked, we got back at her, and now all three of us are jackasses. As it was before and as it always will be.” He paused, considering the weight of what he just said. Resigned to fate, he sighed. “Dammit, I think I see your point.”

At the sound of high heels clip-clopping their way over, Roderich jumped up. “There she is! The master of ceremonies for the evening’s disaster!” He mockingly bowed at her. Once upright again, his smirk became apparent. “Any other humiliations you plan on subjecting us to or was this all you had planned? Take your time, us loyal dogs will be waiting faithfully until your next command.”

“Give it up, Roderich. You’re acting like this is the worst I’ve done to you.” Erzsébet smirked. She was relieved he was joking about it, in his strange way. “If I found a new pair of toys to mess with, what would you do without me? That would be crueler. You know I couldn’t put you through that. Though I should be offended it took you that long to realize it was me. You too, for that matter,” she nudged Gilbert with the tip of her shoe. Now, she allowed herself to laugh. “What? Was I wearing too many clothes for you two to recognize me?”

Roderich rolled his eyes, wishing he were more shocked at that jab. “You’re a piece of work, you understand that?” His tone was almost affectionate. “I will say, if you’d started performing a strip tease in the middle of the room, while it would’ve broken your cover sooner, I do think we would’ve preferred it. No, actually, finding out how we did was better. It would’ve been quite the nasty shock to us both had you gone home with me. The vengeance would’ve been sweet in the moment, sure, but the guilt afterwards? After enough decades, it would’ve killed me.”

“Thanks, Roddy. You’re always a friend,” Gilbert mumbled under his breath.

“Pulling no punches, huh?” For Gilbert’s sake, she tried not to laugh and failed. “Sorry to your ego, but that wouldn’t have happened. You lost your grand chance for retribution when I realized who you were. Then, when I saw your guest, I knew which one I wanted to go home with. Speaking of,” she knelt down, resting her chin on Gilbert’s shoulder, “nothing to say to me, kedvesem? Not like you to be so quiet.”

He gently shrugged her off him, eyes still fixed across the street. “Aren’t you supposed to be back home? I don’t think a ‘moral leader’ would be out at a party right now.” He felt the air shift around Erzsébet. Clearly that wasn’t the right answer and Roderich’s childish snickering didn’t help the matter.

“Really? You’re still pitching a fit over this?” She huffed. “So I snuck out of the house, big deal. You’re guilty of the same. Neither of us have the moral high ground.”

“Bullshit! I, at least, was open about what I wanted to do!” Gilbert crossed his arms, glaring at her from the corner of his eye. “If you hadn’t been caught, you were going to keep this to yourself. Either that or you’d have run off to tell Feliks and act like gossipy old hens about it.” Her telling silence caused him to roll his eyes. “See? It’s almost like I know you.”

Deciding against escalation, Erzsébet offered him a hand and pulled him up off the ground. Her expression softened when he didn’t pull away afterwards. “Fine. I’m sorry for being a hypocrite. I planned on skipping this stupid thing, but you were gone and the thought of you having fun while I was home, stressing about bureaucratic horse shit, lead to an impulsive decision on my part.” She shrugged in faux apathy. “And this was thrown by one of the only tolerable families. Going felt like the diplomatic choice. I didn’t want any hurt feelings.”

“I don’t think you could’ve come up with worse reasoning if you tried.” Despite himself, Gilbert felt the corners of his mouth lilt up. “Seriously. That’s what you’re going with.”

Called out, she giggled. There was a mischievous glint in her eyes. “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”

Their moment was interrupted by the sound of Roderich groaning. “Really? You come bursting into my home, all up in arms about this, and now you’re just going to let it go? Have some dignity, some spine! You could at least try and manipulate the situation to your advantage rather than let bygones be bygones.” At the look they both gave him, he shrugged. “You may judge, but we all know I’m not exactly wrong.”

“Why would I want to do that over something so minor?” Gilbert stared at him as if he’d gone completely mad.

“Because it’s effective. Watch and learn from the master.” He pushed Gilbert aside, stepping in to take his place. He shifted his whole demeanor to that of a wounded animal. Eyes cast aside, arms folded across his chest. It was a pathetic sight. “After what’s been done to me tonight, I don’t know how I’ll be able to look any of them in the eye again. My name! My reputation! All tarnished in a matter of hours, never to be regained until next month when everyone inevitably forgets it! Erzsébet, do you not see how you’ve ruined me? What do you have to say for yourself?”

She gasped, eyes widened in horror at her insensitivity. “How could I? That’s one less group of socialites you’ll have to kiss ass to. Poor Roderich, how will you go on?” She tapped an index finger against her chin. “Should I get on my knees to grovel for your forgiveness now or should I save that for later?”

Roderich held up a hand. “Save it. There’s no need for us to go overboard.” He gave a smug little smile to Gilbert. “See? Works like a charm every time.”

“I’m never doing that.” He scrunched up his nose in disgust. Roderich’s overinflated satisfaction was nauseating. “All the drama and that’s what you wanted. Aren’t you pathetic.” Gilbert could hardly contain his smirk.

“What? Sometimes an apology is all you need. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I have feelings too. Besides, you were fishing for the same.” Roderich smiled at Erzsébet, all prior theatrics tossed aside. “Now, are you coming home with us?”

“Thanks but no, I still want that weekend to myself. This has been more than enough excitement to get me through the next few days.” She waved them off, watching as they headed back in the direction of Roderich’s home. Once alone, she smiled in relief. Now her weekend could really begin.

#aph prussia #hws prussia #aph hungary #hws hungary #aph austria #hws austria #hetalia #aph fanfiction #hws fanfiction #aph fanfic #hws fanfic

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inkstaineddove · 4 years ago

Text

Asystole

Ships: AusHun

Characters: Hungary, Austria; mentioned Prussia

Summary: His empire failing, Austria is desperate enough to make anything work. His empire failing, Hungary is desperate enough to finally break free. One of them must give.

Vienna, 1867.

Erzsébet padded across the hallway, spine stiff and shoulders rolled back. A minute before, some poor servant had been tasked to play the messenger, urging her to head to the office straightaway. Ordinarily, this sort of urgency would’ve shocked her; today, it was expected. All people talked, from the lowliest maid to the richest of emperors, and word of their machinations never seemed to escape her. Plus – if she allowed herself a moment of honesty, instead of falsely praising her cunning – her politicians had told her everything. There truly were no surprises.

Her first sight upon entering was that of Austria, scowling down at whatever papers were before him. She wondered when she had last seen him smile – and not the fake one he flashed at diplomats and hangers’ on, but the real one. It couldn’t have been years, could it? It seemed true enough, but for his sake she hoped she was wrong.

“Are you intending to get your face frozen like that or do you just enjoy tempting fate?” Hungary slid into her seat as she spoke. Her voice lilted up in a way that would sound like gentle teasing to the untrained ear.

Fortunately, his was trained perfectly to her pitch. He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, looking as if he was in no mood to be messed with. He’d been looking like that a lot recently. It disappointed her, only because it put a damper on her fun. There was little joy in kicking a dog while it was down, even one prone to biting.

“Would you prefer I pretend to sit here, giddy about all my misfortunes? If you wanted that, you should’ve convinced your boyfriend his time and resources would’ve been better off warring with a different enemy of the hour.” Austria attempted to keep his tone dispassionate, though it didn’t work. Try as he might, it never did.

She sniffed, scrunching up her nose. “Do you have to call him my ‘boyfriend?’ That sounds so…juvenile.” It was a minor thing to pick a fight over, but she certainly wasn’t going to over whether Prussia’s war had been legitimate. There was no need when they both agreed.

“I feel I have to because, if I didn’t and forgot my restraint, I’d be tempted to call him something awful like your little bitch, but I would never. I’m above that.” Austria smiled, all teeth and hostility, and Hungary wondered how nice they would look knocked out on the floor.

She flicked her wrist dismissively. No reason to get herself worked up over something so petty. There was business to discuss and deals to be made. She leaned her weight onto the arm of her chair. “Can you just tell me what you want? You know how it is, so many rebellions to plan and so little time.”

A quirk of an eyebrow was enough to show his displeasure. “Not like you to play the fool. There’s no reason for you to pretend to be so unaware.”

“If I didn’t pretend, you might get curious on my methods. If I reveal my hand, there goes whatever illusory personal freedoms I have. You want me even more miserable than I am?” His silence was the answer she wanted. She smiled, resting her cheek on her hand. “So, tell me. What does Hofburg have in store for me?”

“You’ll be thrilled to know that for a change, it’s an offer instead of an edict. I don’t see any point in attempting to sweeten reality to you – you live here and you’re not an idiot, after all. The empire, my empire, is in an increasingly bleak situation. You would think this would endear me into the hearts of all my subjects, but I suppose I underestimated how deep nationalism’s poison infected their bloodstreams,” Austria rolled his eyes at his own foolishness. “Yours being the most infected – and, as you love to remind me – being the most likely to one day succeed, a deal needs to be made to quell their bloodlust.”

That certainly was one way to put it. Hungary couldn’t stop herself from laughing, unable to look at Austria’s overly serious expression or risk breaking into hysterics. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself, though still with a noticeable smirk. “Bloodlust? Really, Roderich? They want independence, not the death of every Austrian. Who has the time for that kind of petty revenge?”

He scoffed, clearly insulted. “As if they’d be capable of that. If I had to sacrifice a few peasants here and there to keep them peaceful, I wouldn’t bat an eye. My kingdom for a commoner is a trifle. No, the blood they want is mine. They want to see what I’ve built up over the centuries diminished in months, in days. I’ve jumped into wars for less, you know as much. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’d fare well if an army were sent in and the backlash for such a heavy-handed move doesn’t make it worth the trouble.” He shook his head, clearing his mind of useless plans.

Hungary pitied him. Look how desperate he was to hold onto something so ephemeral, so meaningless. Empires came and went like the seasons. Here was a man who thought himself wise, yet he couldn’t grasp such a basic tenet of their existence. She had learnt it; so had Poland and Lithuania and every other plaything these so-called ‘powers’ sought. It was a lunacy, one that infected all of them the same. Now his was crumbling all around him and instead of attempting to move on, he would drag out the process. It was predictable and entirely disappointing. Despite having no reason to, she expected better of him.

She sighed and turned her gaze away from him. If she stared at him any longer, she’d feel nauseous. “What do you want from me?”

Relieved to be back on track, Austria’s body became less rigid. “Nothing, really. My offer is quite favorable to you. Our marriage, partnership, whatever descriptor you prefer becomes one of equals. Complete control of your lands returns to you. You’ll have the privilege or the torture to pore over the minutiae of whatever half-formed, barely coherent policy is cooked up by your own hacks in Budapest. Christ, am I normally this cynical?” He shook off the self-awareness. That could be dealt with later or, preferably, never. “Really, everything you’ve ever harassed me and all my various rulers about is now yours. You lose nothing in this arrangement.”

“Everything, bar the most important thing. Just because it’s been roughly twenty years hasn’t changed what the people want. You’re not giving me anything you view as important. Ruling my people has become an inconvenience, so you’ll hand it off to me. Ten years ago, you would’ve been insulted at the prospect. And now the insulted party will be us.” She sighed, shaking her head. “Why is conceding so difficult for your lot to do? Clinging onto everything will only make the inevitable that much harder.”

His eyes narrowed as he stared her down. “Nothing is inevitable. We’re in a difficult spot, but we’ve been through those before. As long as I bide my time and there’s no more incidents, everything will be back on track and no one will make anymore of their bitchy little comments.” The way he sneered as he said that last part, she was willing to bet that bothered him more than anything else. He tried smiling at her, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ve conceded a lot to you with this. Fine, you’re not quite independent, but it’s just as good. In some ways, I’m doing you a favor. Foreign policy is such a nuisance. All of them are sharks, all of them would be circling you, sniffing out fresh blood. Europe isn’t how you remember it.”

Hungary grinded her teeth together. Patronizing, always patronizing. Even desperate for her assistance, he couldn’t view her as a peer. And then he wondered why she behaved the way she did? Why, sometimes, she can’t even stand to be near him? He was dumber than he had any right to be.

“Do you think I’ve been completely isolated from the world? I know how they all act, how they all think. The only ones I’d have to worry about fighting off would be you and Russia, and without me, what army do you have?” She smiled, enjoying how that blow landed. How could he argue against it? He’d said as much to her – sometimes with pride, sometimes with fear – many times throughout the years. “And believe me, I would love to strike out on my own and form my own alliances. I can think of a few who’d be more than happy to spurn you with a treaty or two.”

He folded his arms over his chest, staring at her with derision. “Insulting me won’t get you what you want, Liebchen.” He practically snarled out the nickname. Pet names had always been their favorite weapons. “This is the only deal you have. I don’t get all your bitching either. We negotiated with two of your most darling heroes. There’s no need for you to be putting up this much of a fight. Will you ever be satisfied with anything I do for you, or should I learn to accept your eternal disdain?”

She took shaky breaths through her nose. That was hardly enough to constrain her. “Perhaps I’d be more accepting of the terms if you’d bother to invite me to negotiations! I appreciate,” she roared the word out, her fury overtaking her, “that you were oh-so-fucking considerate enough to know who I would’ve chosen to be my representative. And here I thought you only paid attention to my lands to slaughter innocents! But you have never, will never, respect me enough to listen to me on what my own goddamn people want! Deák and Andrássy are good men, but they know nothing compared to me! How many times must I scream this at you until you get it? If I’m not allowed to have any free will in this life, then so be it! That’s my curse, but at least let me speak on their behalf! Give me the chance, the fucking chance, to win them the freedoms it appears I’ll never have!”

She only realized she was leaning over his desk when she was done. Her rage, built up over the centuries, was causing her to tremble. Staring into Roderich’s eyes, she swore she could kill him. She swore she could and it would be the last time, the most permanent of his deaths. It was so vivid in her mind that, for a moment, she believed it to be reality.

What brought her back to the present was how utterly bored he appeared at her antics. Here was the same song and dance they performed for each other. Here it was, meant to play out for eternity. Why would he fear her? What could she do to him that was permanent? Nothing. The one thing she could, he locked it away in some deal she wasn’t allowed to be apart of.

“Don’t you ever get tired of carrying on like that? So sanctimonious. As if your cause is the most just. Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to be bound to you?” He shook his head. “I’m convinced that if you ever tried to shut up, it would kill you. Though, honestly, I’d be grateful for the silence.” As she sat down, he smiled with an unrivaled arrogance. “There. Now, please, Erzsébet, try to be reasonable for a change. There’s no use in becoming so hysterical over this. Everything doesn’t have to be such a battle. Fighting like this, you haven’t taken a break in centuries. Aren’t you tired?”

She would not be baited. She refused to tell him what he wanted to hear, refused even if it were partially true. “The only thing I’m tired of is being brushed aside, but I know not to expect change from you.” She looked outside the window and sighed. “The ink is already dried, isn’t it? I can’t stop what’s been put in motion.”

“For the most part. All it needs is ratification. Though, we’ve been assured that that won’t be an issue.” Once more, he relaxed against the back of his chair. His relief was clear across his face. “I’m glad you’ve calmed yourself of those delusions. While I can commend your…dedication, you’ll have much more important things to busy yourself with.”

Hungary smiled, pleased with his false sense of security. “You’re right, there will be. I understand that, at this point, I can’t prevent anything. But, when news travels around, most will not be happy. This flies in the face of everything they’ve worked so hard to achieve over these last few years. They’ve been sold out, and I’m inclined to believe them.” She licked her lips, savoring the moment. “So, when the people take to the streets, when they demand what they know is owed to them, I won’t try to smooth things over. Never again. I will be right beside them, doing whatever I can to rile them up. Whatever they choose to do, however they decide to handle this, I will support them with every fiber of my being. And if that creates problems for you?” She stood up, smirking and curtseying. “Solve them yourself. I’m no propaganda piece.”

Head held high, she began striving out of the room. It was the only card she had left, the only thing she could think of. With every step she took, she prayed he’d be as weak as she knew he was. He had said it himself, there was nothing he could do to fight anything. Today did not come about out of a position of strength for him.

“Wait, Erzsébet! Please, don’t do this.” She heard him rise, heard the soft steps of his feet. “If you do that, neither of us will walk away from this looking good.” A soft intake of breath from him. “For once, I’m not too proud to admit that I need you. But, please, don’t throw it all away over nothing.” His voice was gentle, as if he were pleading with a lioness and not a woman.

When he reached out, she allowed him to touch her and spin her around. When had his hands last been that soft? Cornered, he was like a new man. “All you have to offer me is insults. What should I stay around for? I have more to gain away from you than besides you. I always have.”

“I know, dammit I know!” She watched his Adam’s apple shift as he swallowed. Roderich’s eyes were wide, all too aware that he was on the precipice. “Not now, though. You’re right, you’re my equal. I’ll give you whatever I can, within reason, to prevent that. Anything to prevent you from ruining me.”

The urge to scowl at his self-preservation was there. What else should she have expected? He was still Roderich; nothing could change the core of a man. Still, this was further than she’d ever gotten before. “You know me well enough to know what I want.”

“I assumed I did when making the last deal and look where it got me. Forgive me for wanting you to spell it out.” The beginning of a smile appeared on his face.

Erzsébet didn’t know whether to laugh or sigh. Feeling off-kilter, she settled for sitting on the sofa. “Not even you could mess this one up. I’m tired of sneaking around your back to leave the home. I’m not a young girl and you’re certainly not my father and you will stop treating me as such. If it’s that important to you, there’s only three places I’d be anyway, and you know them all. More importantly, start treating me like a person! You want your life to be less miserable? Then do yourself a favor and at least treat me with indifference, I’d rather that than constant disgust.” Her eyes met his and held them, challenging him to deny her. “And, whenever some big decision comes up, you better discuss it with me and actually give some consideration to my thoughts. You’re not any smarter than me and I’m as aware on everything as you are. If this is going to be both our futures, for whatever time you just bought yourself, then I’m not going to do anything to sabotage it.”

“That’s the very least of what I can do.” If she hadn’t known better, she would’ve thought she a flash of shame in his eyes. It couldn’t have been. She doubted that he could feel such things, so high were the walls he’d built.

She studied him skeptically. That had been far too easy. There must’ve been something he’d want in return. He couldn’t just have thought what he’d taken was enough. “Don’t you have anything you want from me? There’s no terms?”

Roderich paused, deciding his best course of action. He shrugged, apparently not finding any trap in her words. “Two. The first: cut off the affair. It can be anyone else, but not him. On a personal level, this will make me look like an even bigger cuckold than we all know I am.”

Erzsébet’s eyes hardened and she leaned away from him. “No, that’s out of the question.”

He frowned when she offered no further explanation. “Really? You could do so much better. Don’t tell me you actually love him.”

“You have no right to my personal life.”

“Right. I thought that was the case.” She couldn’t quite distinguish the exact emotions in his voice beyond disappointment and resignation. There was a layer to it that wasn’t simple to place.

He snapped her out of her thoughts when he spoke again. “Now, the emperor wants this sealed with some sort of formal wedding between us. I begged him to do anything but this. Unfortunately for the both of us, he thought it would make such a lovely story for the masses.” He gave an embarrassed smile. “I’m also not exactly asking for you to do this, since there became a gentleman’s agreement on it, but something that means much more to me.” He grew serious again at whiplashing speed. “Let me break the news to Gilbert. Give me the satisfaction.”

Erzsébet could imagine how it’d go. How the scene played out in her mind, it was horrid. Her stomach wrenched. “You’d wreck him.”

“That’s the point,” Roderich wore a cruel smile. He’d been imagining it as well.

“Why do you think I’d ever let you do that?”

He shrugged in an effort to appear nonchalant and failed. “Simple, really. If you tell him yourself, do you think he’ll believe you can’t just stop it? God, he’ll have every moronic scheme to prevent it and act all wounded when you tell him it can’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he were just your little plaything all along. Even though I have ‘no right to your personal life,’ as you so kindly put it, I’m no fool. What’s the point in risking it and being stuck with me?” He smiled at her, warm in a way she was unfamiliar with. His tone attempted to strike a friendliness that didn’t fit him. “If I do it, he hates me, comes sobbing to you about it, and you can both continue to curse my very existence. The status quo is maintained. It’s an obvious choice to me.”

She wandered if he’d prepared that speech just for now. It was tempting to ask him, but the knowing would be worse. Ignorance could, indeed, be a bliss. Erzsébet knew there was an ulterior motive for his words, there always was with him. He wasn’t Feliks, who she wouldn’t feel such guilt over listening to. Still, there was a human part of her that needed outside validation regardless of the source. “Do you think I’m a coward?” Her voice was so soft, she wondered if he’d even heard her.

“No, because I can understand it. Sometimes it’s braver to manipulate.” There was an understanding in his voice. She wouldn’t be surprised if this were coming from experience.

“Fine, but don’t be crueler than you have to. Try to have some compassion if you can.” There was a feeling of hollowness Erzsébet forced herself to ignore. Her life would be livable, that was what was most important. No one would have done it differently.

“He’ll get what he deserves,” Roderich bit back his irritation. They both knew who it was really for. Instead, he nodded his head and offered her his arm. “I’m sure you don’t want to spend the rest of the day watching me work. Allow me to walk you to the door.”

She politely took his arm. They walked in silence to the door, too busy was her mind for idle chatter. Anyways, hadn’t they said enough? Only on her way out did she smile at him and offer him her thanks.

He smiled at her. “Thank you. I promise I’ll make this worthwhile.”

#aushun #aph aushun #hws hungary #aph hungary #hws austria #aph austria #hetalia fanfic #hetalia fanfiction #historical hetalia #im back on my bullshit - at least for a moment

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

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Fall Together

Ships: PruHun

Characters: Prussia, Hungary

Summary: After putting the brakes on their relationship after her divorce, Erzsébet visits Gilbert and he has no idea what to make of it. Sequel to Till We Meet Again.

Potsdam, 1921.

Gilbert sat alone in his study, a leatherbound book in one hand and a lit cigar in the other. The room was filled by the sounds of Edwin Edwards’ sliding trombone and Larry Shields’ shrieking clarinet. It was a record he’d played many times before, one that he rushed to get after hearing the damn Amis playing it often on their side of the trenches. It was different and, every time he listened, he was always tickled to think of how much Fritz would hate it, a memory of simpler times.

Through the noise, he managed to hear knocking at the front door. He remained seated for a second before jumping up to answer it. As he walked, he again considered the idea of hiring on a skeleton staff to do all the little things he had gotten so accustomed to ignoring. As always, he imagined the lecture he would receive from Ludwig for his supposed opulence and decided against it once more. Indulgence could wait.

“Hi,” Erzsébet said with a little smile, as if she were unsure herself of why she was there. She scrunched her nose up at the smell of the cigar that he still carried. “Do you have to smoke those awful things around me? Death smells better.”

“Well how could I have known you were coming over?” Always one to please despite his protestations, Gilbert stamped it out on the door frame. He then rubbed the wood in concern. “That wasn’t smart of me, was it? Well, no fire. That’s the main thing.”

Thankfully, she laughed at his mindlessness. All wasn’t lost right away. While he was caught up in staring at her, she cleared her throat. “Are you going to let me in or are we going to stand here forever? I know we have all the time in the world, but…”

“Right, shit, sorry! Come in, you know where everything is.” He beckoned her inside. Once behind her, he checked his appearance in the hallway mirror, disheveling his hair a bit to give himself that boyish look she used to compliment him on. Feeling sufficiently attractive, he followed her into the living room.

Gilbert never felt so self-conscious as she watched him. She had this little smile on her face, as if she were silently laughing at him. Was that why she was here? She travelled all this way to mock him? Fine. If that was what this was all about, then he’d give her no reason to laugh. He’d prove to her just how perfectly well-adjusted he was.

Her voice roused him out of his thoughts. “Gil, are you even listening? I’m here two minutes and you’re already tuning me out.” Where Erzsébet would have normally been annoyed, she instead chuckled. “I didn’t think it was that personal of a question.”

He silently berated himself. Staying in his head would do him no favors. And, while she knew him like nobody else did, he didn’t think she’d suddenly become a mind reader in two years. “I’m sorry I’m…drunk.” Why was that his excuse? And now she was staring at him as if he belonged in the asylum and everything was ruined before it started. “Did I say drunk? I meant in a funk! No, that’s even worse! Forget all that, forget I said anything at all. I’m listening now.”

“O-okay. I just wanted to know how you’ve been?” She eyed him up and down. “Though now you’ve got me worried about the answer.”

“Me? I’ve been great! Don’t think I’ve ever felt better in my life!” He leaned against the fireplace, hoping to seem suave and unaffected. “So what that things have been a bit of a mess and the kid blames me for everything that went wrong during the war? I go to a bar and every woman wants me and I don’t have to turn them down! Every night I’ve got another date with a total babe and I never see them afterwards! What more could any bachelor want?” He was lying through his teeth but needed to sell it. He smirked and shrugged, feigning indifference. “Who needs the old ball and chain when you’ve got such unbridled freedom?”

“What a Hengst,” Erzsébet snickered before giving him a knowing smile. “Well, I’d hate to intrude on you and all your fun. If I’m such a burden, I’ve got no problem visiting Ludwig instead.” She pretended to get up from the sofa.

For a millisecond, his façade slipped into genuine panic. “No, don’t be like that! You know, I’ve got reservations tonight for this fancy little restaurant. I was going to go alone – which is so much fun to do too! – but, since you’re here, it would be romant- I mean, it would be so nice to go. If you want, of course, it’s all up to you.”

“What a coincidence. Are there really reservations?” She hid her mouth behind her hand, knowing that if she kept laughing at him, his floundering would increase. “It seems too perfect to be true.”

Gilbert let out a strange little laugh, one that didn’t quite sound natural. “There could be reservations if you wanted there to be. I could call in a few favors, bribe some people if needed, whatever you want and the night’s yours.”

Erzsébet didn’t know whether to be embarrassed on his behalf or flattered that he was this anxious. She settled on both being the appropriate response. “I was hoping to stay in tonight. I’m a little tired from the journey. Surprising how quickly you stop being used to things. Tomorrow, though, if you could call in those favors and make those bribes, then I’d be very interested.” She smirked, a devilish look in her eyes. “Don’t feel the need to stay in because of me though. I don’t want to deprive the women of Berlin their favorite.”

“What other women? Those other women! They’ll be fine! If they could take a century, they can take a night. Two nights, actually, since tomorrow’s our date. Not a date! Shit, it’s a saying.” Dear god, he needed to relax. Out of habit, he sat down beside her and, once he realized how close he was, scooted to the end of the couch. He could feel himself blushing and see her biting her lip to stop herself from laughing and all he longed for was death. “Does that mean you’re staying somewhere in town?” There, travel accommodations. A topic so dull he would be able to compose himself again.

“I figured I would be staying with you, Gil. Is that alright? I don’t want to impose.” She gave him the big eyes that they both knew he always succumbed to and he wanted to curse her for knowing all the right buttons in every situation. “Far be it from me to ruin the bachelor life you’re enjoying so much.”

He batted away her concerns, as feeble as they were, with a flick of his wrist. “Please, why would I want you elsewhere? You’ll be much happier here.” Gilbert exhaled slowly through his nose. He would have the same results if he grabbed his pistol and began literally shooting himself in the foot. “I can get you set up in a guest room.”

The way she stared at him caused him to worry that he had said something incredibly stupid. “Why would I be in a guest room? You know which bed I want to sleep in.” The little smirk Erzsébet had was enough to drive him completely insane. Before he could process everything, she was suddenly much closer than before. She was merciful enough to leave some space, but the lack of it was what drew his attention.

“M-Mine?” As she nodded her head, he took in a deep breath. “That’s fine. I’ll sleep in the guest room…and you’re shaking your head, so I’ll sleep with you. Fuck. Like in a platonic way? Erzsi, can’t you show a man some mercy? I’m drowning here.”

She patted his thigh affectionately. “If I did that, then how would I have my fun? Look at you, you’re paler than you normally are. Let me get you a drink. That’ll put you at ease.” She rose and walked over to the bar that was part of the room.

With distance came peace. Gilbert touched a hand to his chest, feeling his heartbeat decrease steadily. He watched her move around the bar with expert confidence, not pausing for a moment to ask him where things were. If he thought about it, he was almost insulted that she was so sure he hadn’t changed the layout. “You know, the host is supposed to do all that.”

“My home too, isn’t it?” Though he couldn’t see her face as she knelt behind the bar, he could hear the coyness in her voice. She hummed to herself as she poured them each a glass of wine and beer, respectively. Once done, she returned to him and offered him his drink like a peace offering. “Here. Maybe this’ll knock some sense back into you.”

Greedily, he drank from it. The beer brought no clarity, but the familiar crutch did something to calm his nerves. He swirled it around in his glass, watching the little whirlpool at the center. Anything was better than looking at Erzsébet and risk losing all rational thoughts. “I have to say, barging into my home, calling it yours and then calling me an idiot in the same breath is a gutsy move. Then again, why would I think you’d show up just to be sweet?”

From the corner of his eye, he saw her roll her eyes and throw her head back. “Poor, Gilbert. Always carrying the heaviest cross. As soon as you saw me, you thought you knew exactly what I was here to do. You never even asked! You just saw me and went into one your spirals, thinking you had it all figured out!”

It was his turn to roll his eyes. He appreciated that she was now comfortable enough to insult him outright. Her honesty deserved his own. “That’s bullshit and you know it. What was I to think? The only reason you’d come here is to gloat that you’re so much happier now and everything in life is so wonderful and that you’re just here to cut off the last loose end to your old, miserable life. Which is fine by me, I wouldn’t care as long as you made sure to plunge the scissors deep enough into my heart.”

Erzsébet snorted. “Way to prove me wrong. You go through all this trouble to make up some ridiculous little fairy tale that has no basis in reality when it would’ve been easier to just ask me outright. But no! Gilbert and his insecurities have to try and sell me on the fact that he’s supposedly been fucking half of Berlin!” Pausing to sip her wine, she shook her head. “I love you, but you’re pathetic.”

All riled up and ready to go, he’d completely ignored the last bit of what she said. “What else could there be? I know what you’d do, you’d throw out the fact that you’ve got someone else waiting for you back- wait what did you say at the end?”

“Now you want to listen! For anyone with a working brain, it would’ve been obvious to them. How do I always forget that you’re a complete and utter moron?” Needing to calm down, she finished what was left of her wine and got up to refill her glass. “I’m not even going to repeat myself. I’m too annoyed with you.”

Gilbert sat there silently for a minute. He’d felt like an ass many times throughout his life – he supposed that was the price of arrogance – but never had it been so strong. He sighed, deciding now was as good a time as ever to start over. “How’ve you been these past two years?”

“Now you’re going to be normal?” She shook her head. Snapping at him didn’t feel as good as she’d hoped it would. Thankfully, he didn’t seem too surprised or bothered. “I’ve been good. I’ve been spending more time with Feliks again. There’s something to be said about independence and not having to ask permission to travel.” She shrugged, a content smile on her face. “But more so I’ve been spending time at home with my people and enjoying not having to speak in German all the time.”

“We don’t have to speak in German,” with ease, Gilbert switched to Hungarian. “Though I’m probably rusty.” It was an attempt to kiss up, but he was being earnest.

“Isn’t that better? So much prettier too! I’d say ‘no offense,’ but I know you’re used to it.” Erzsébet giggled at his nonchalant shrug and goofy expression. She retook her seat besides him and was pleased that he didn’t run away this time. “I’ve really been doing what I told you I would do, just enjoying that my time is now my own. I’d forgotten what that was like.”

He leaned back in his seat, kicking his feet up onto the table. “That was all your great journey of self-discovery was? Shooting the shit with Feliks and random strangers?” He couldn’t prevent skepticism from seeping into his voice.

“I did more than that, don’t be so rude.” Her tone now as she chastised him was far more playful than before. “Without…him breathing down my neck, it’s been much easier to get back into my old hobbies. I got a nice stallion for a good price, found a cabin near the Mátra for a better price, and hid out there for a few months each spring. The game is just as good as when we used to hunt there as kids, maybe even better. It would’ve been perfect, but it was missing something.”

“What?”

“You.” Erzsébet chuckled at his embarrassment as he looked away. “Each time I was there, I would catch myself thinking about you or wishing you were there so I could show you whatever I’d found. Or just to have someone to race.” She sighed, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. “It happened even when I was back home. I’d see something and want to get it for you or would meet someone who reminded me of you and then it made the whole day feel bittersweet. Two years I spent only to figure out what I’ve always known: I’m my own woman and life’s better when you’re in it.”

When Gilbert at last looked at her again, he donned a sheepish expression. “Should I apologize now or later?”

She nuzzled into his chest and all was right in the world again. “Normally, I would want you to now, but you gave me plenty to laugh at and that’s apologies enough.” He felt the vibrations of her giggling into his chest. “Though why you thought I’d ever believe you’d been out sowing your wild oats is beyond me.”

He rubbed his free hand behind the back of his neck. “I thought it sounded pretty believable.” Her muffled scoff was all the answer he needed. “Fine, so it wasn’t. Maybe I panicked a little. I missed you and I didn’t want to be too obvious about it.”

She cupped his cheek and stroked it with her thumb. Her eyes shone with mischief. “You were painfully obvious about it.” He rolled his eyes and she snickered. “We used to go years without seeing each other, sometimes decades! And now you become a mess after a measly two? What happened to you, kedvesem?”

“Calling me ‘a mess’ might be an exaggeration.” Gilbert leaned his head into her hand. He noticed that it was more calloused than before. There would be more to explore and learn about her and he was eager to discover it all. “That is a question I’ve been asking myself for a couple centuries now. One I think you have the answer to.”

At last, Erzsébet provided him with a mercy and closed the distance between them. Her lips had the bitter taste of the red wines she preferred, but how could he mind the flavor? In his desperation, everything about them was as thrilling as their first kiss. It had been too long and he felt a need to make up for lost time, to convince her to never stay away for that long again. With little urging, she was in his lap and her hands were twisted in his hair and he knew that all of heaven’s riches were worth nothing compared to this.

In between each kiss he gave her neck, he whispered, “I missed you.” By the fourth one, she was laughing with her head collapsed in his chest.

“I get it, Gil. Believe me, I won’t be doing that again.” He hardly felt her lips against his jawline. “Now more than before, you’re stuck with me.”

If that was a threat, it was one he was happy to live with. To be hers again was more than enough for him.

#pruhun #aph prussia #hws prussia #aph hungary #hws hungary #Hetalia Fanfiction

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

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Fleeting Serenity

Ships: PruHun

Characters: Prussia, Hungary; mentioned Germany, Austria, France, and Britain

Summary: Gilbert has doubts and Erzsébet has answers.

Potsdam, 1845.

It was a cool night with the wind gently blowing through the trees. Owls hooted their songs off in the distance, met with the crickets’ rival symphonies. The clouds completed nature’s scene by permitting the moon’s splendor to be on full display.

The peace would’ve been kept if not for the shuffling of feet over wood. Gilbert was pacing the length of his balcony, unable to stop had he wanted to. He was gripped with the kind of frenzy born of illogical anxiety. The icy tendrils of ceaseless worry constricted his heart, squeezing it to the point where he felt it shake within its casing. Instead of his normal rigid posture, he was collapsed inward with his arms wrapped around his bare chest.

The more he searched for what was wrong with him, the more lost he felt. He had never had such leisure and freedom. His responsibilities to his state were executed with ease, with what little resistance he faced feeling no more annoying than persistent gnats. His relationships with all he cared about were stable and, while Bavaria and Saxony didn’t appreciate the method he and Austria used to create Ludwig, they certainly weren’t outraged. Life had never so closely matched fantasy.

And, yet, here he was, working himself up over nothing like a lunatic. He forced himself to stop his marching and latched onto the guardrail to prevent himself from further pacing. A war could rage within his mind, but he wouldn’t let any unfortunate passersby observe it. He needed to maintain some baselevel of composure.

“God help me,” he muttered, his voice husky with exhaustion.

He ran his hands through his hair, sighing. How late was it now? He had gone to bed hours ago with all intention of sleep, but he knew that wouldn’t come tonight. A particularly hard gust of wind burst through, causing him to shiver. In his hurry to get outside, he’d completely forgotten to grab something to keep him warm. He looked at the bed in the window. Erzsébet was sound asleep, twisted up in all their blankets. He didn’t want to risk having his stirring disturb her and debated against going in.

Another harsh wind came through and decided for him. Gilbert shuffled in, moving the door painfully slow to prevent any squeak or slam. While he crept to get a shirt, he heard her mumble something like ‘Gilbert’ in her sleep. He remained frozen in place, hoping that he had misheard her.

“Gil?” She rolled over, blinking her eyes open. “Why you…there?”

“Go back to sleep. I’ll be quieter.” He smiled, trying to look reassuring so she wouldn’t grow suspicious.

“Is something the matter?” Erzsébet pushed herself up on her elbows. Not quite awake, she wobbled as she moved. She patted the empty bed besides her. “Sit down.”

He accepted his fate and complied. He pushed himself back to lean against the bedrest. At the confusion coming to knit together her brows, he smiled. There was something cute in how she worried. “I’m just a bit on edge. It’s fine, I don’t want to keep you up.”

Gilbert should’ve known saying that would invite her complete interest. She was now fully conscious of the world and staring at him expectantly. “On edge how? What’s bothering you?”

How the hell could he phrase it? ‘Nothing’s bothering me and that’s why I’m so bothered’ or ‘I can’t sleep because my heart feels like it’s about to explode, but how are you?’ Gilbert stared in her eyes, searching for divine intervention on how to explain himself. Instead, inspiration struck. So what if he couldn’t state how he was feeling in emotional terms? A little creativity was all it would take.

“You know when you’re out in the forest and you swear you hear a bear or a wolf, but it never shows up? So you say, ‘fuck it’ and keep moving? And then the bear starts causing shit again, but it’s still nowhere to be found and you start thinking you’re losing it and-”

She yawned, nuzzling into the pillow beneath her. “Could you be more straightforward? I’m not awake enough for one of your long stories.”

“Well this one had a point,” he grumbled. “I don’t know why, but it feels like something’s chasing me. I know there’s nothing there – well, at least I think it’s nothing – but it’s like something’s going to appear out of thin air and ruin everything.”

That was strange for him. She couldn’t recall ever knowing of a time when he had felt like this before. She tried remembering all their recent conversations, searching for a clue as to what was causing this. She couldn’t find a single one. “Do you have any idea why?”

“No! That’s what’s killing me! There’s no reason for me to be feeling this way. Everything’s been perfect! I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life, which is what makes this so bizarre.” He paused, studying her. He was seeing her, seeing her so clearly, and it was like a revelation. “You! It’s you, that’s what’s wrong with me!”

Erzsébet crossed her arms, scowling at him. “You better rephrase that.”

He laughed, relieved to have finally achieved some personal enlightenment. “Not like that. Let me explain myself.” He knelt down and kissed the top of her head. “It’s been so long since I haven’t had to march myself off to war or prepare for the next one. This is the most time I’ve had to spend with you in so long without having some bullshit gnawing at the back of my mind.” He twirled a few strands of her hair around his fingers.

When he reached the area by her chin, she kissed his hand. “Hasn’t it been wonderful? Even if we can’t share all our days, giving you my weekends has been amazing.” She smirked against his skin. “I know there’s a ‘but’ somewhere in there, so spit it out.”

Gilbert snorted, unbothered at being so predictable. “But I know this kind of quiet doesn’t last long. Something will come and will shatter it all and that’ll be that. Isn’t all joy in life fleeting?” His voice became hushed the more serious he became. “And then what? I’ll be off again, trying not to get shot by France on battlefields that all look the same.”

There was something she’d never heard him talk about in such a negative light. “But that’s how your life has always been.” She smiled, wanting nothing more than to cut through some of his tension. “What happened? Did my fearsome knight lose his purpose?”

“Less lost one and more found another.” He let the strand of her hair drop from around his finger and, instead, slipped his hand in hers. “Erzsi, you deserve all the best in the world. And I can give it to you now, but for how much longer?”

She hid her mouth with her free hand. Laughing at him, after such a vulnerable confession, would do her no good. “You really think I’ll forget you over the course of one little war? Gil, how many have we gone through? And look where I wound up!”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not worried about you leaving me. Are you kidding? I haven’t had that worry in years.” He shifted so he was facing her completely, desperately needing her full attention. “My life is hell, it always has been. And I know yours has been too, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have better. How things are now, that’s the kind of life you deserve and that God! I’ve dreamt about giving you for years, but…” He trailed off, not wanting to speak where his mind was going in case it manifested into reality.

“All calm means a storm is bound to blow in soon?” He could hear Erzsébet’s smirk in her voice.

“Yes! And then-” he was silenced by the feel of her index finger against his lips.

“Along the way, did you ever stop to maybe ask yourself what I might want? Or have you just been listening to your paranoia this entire time?” Now was a good time to laugh at him, at his dumb expression as he tried to figure out what she meant. “Really, you must be in love with another woman. If you were in love with me, you wouldn’t be worrying about that nonsense.”

“You’re telling me my greatest fears are wrong?”

He really was a strange man. Anyone else and they would’ve been relieved to hear such a thing. But Gilbert always had to be different she supposed.

“Well, yes. They’re entirely wrong.” She moved so she was laying down with their chests against each other. Erzsébet held his gaze steady, making sure he understood every word of what she said. “If I wanted boring, I wouldn’t leave Vienna or, honestly, would’ve tried my chances with Arthur.” She cradled his cheek with one hand, smiling at him with familiar tenderness. “I don’t want boring; I want you.”

He didn’t quite smile, but it gave her hope that what she was saying was getting through to him. “Boring has stability. I know the life I’m partial to and, while it comes with such great highs, the lows are steep.” She watched the shift of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed. “I don’t want the consequences of my recklessness to come back at you.”

How could she forget? He was a fool. “You spend too much energy worrying about me. Gilbert, seriously. When haven’t I been fine? Why would I choose to be with you, for all this time, if I thought anything you did would hurt me? If I trust you, why can’t you trust yourself?”

He sighed. He didn’t have any sound argument against that. Gilbert looked down at her hand, doubt filling him with shame. “How ridiculous would it be if I said I sometimes think I’m not good enough for you?”

“Not ridiculous at all. You probably won’t believe it, but I do the same thing.”

Gilbert scoffed. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.”

Erzsébet gently smacked his chest with the back of her hand. “I would never do that! Sometimes, especially when I see you with Ludwig, I’m surprised at how good of a person you are. Or on days where you’ve been so sweet and attentive, I start thinking that maybe I’m not the worthy one. And you know what gets me out of that?” She paused for dramatic effect, wanting to hook him in. “I’ll catch you staring at me with such a lovestruck look on your face or, if I’m really lucky, I’ll overhear you say something about me to Ivan or Antonio and all the doubts go away. Because if you’re worthy of me than I’m worthy of you.”

“Am I an idiot?” He leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. His smile came natural and easy now. He felt himself able to breathe again and was thankful for it.

“My God, the biggest! Denser than a mountain! But that’s okay,” she kissed him, a comforting little peck. “That’s what I’m here for.”

He kissed her again, this one much longer and slower. As soon as his arms were wrapped around her waist, she began wiggling free. He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. “You could just say no like a normal person without all the dramatics.”

She was rolling onto her side, searching for the most comfortable position. At last, she found it and, with it, the certainty that sleep would be hers again. “I’m still tired. I don’t want to do anything that will keep me up.” She smiled at the wall, giggling. “Try your luck another night when you don’t wake me up insanely early.”

The wave of exhaustion he had been fighting off finally hit him. Erzsébet had made the right call. He laid down, snuggling up against the crook of her neck. With his anxieties quelled, at least for the moment, treasured rest became a natural fit.

#pruhun #aph prussia #hws prussia #aph hungary #hws hungary #hetalia fanfic #hetalia fanfiction #aph fanfic #hws fanfic #aph fanfiction #hws fanfiction

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

Text

Little Games We Play

Ships: PruHun

Characters: Prussia, Austria, Hungary; mentioned France

Summary: For the creation of his kingdom, Prussia was forced to ally with Austria in the War of the Spanish Succession. Taking advantage of this indebtedness, Roderich demands Gilbert's cooperation on a task he'd find morally reprehensible. To live with himself, he must find a way of sabotaging Roderich's plans and get away with it.

Vienna, 1703.

Hesitantly, Prussia entered the study. While he had been in this room many a time before, its size had yet to cease to amaze him. The length of it could fit two rooms in his new home in Berlin and the entirety of his home in Königsberg. Statues and busts made of marble and gold stared him down, judging his relative poverty to the opulence surrounding them. He did his best to ignore them, scanning the room for its owner. The sooner he could be free of it, the better.

“Ah, Prussia! I hope I hadn’t left you waiting too long!” Austria strode in, appearing out of an adjoining room Prussia hadn’t noticed. He waved towards the sofas in the center of the room as he walked to a little bar stand beside them. “Please, have a seat. Care for a glass of brandy?”

Complying, Prussia took his seat, shifting around nervously. The damn thing was much too plush and with too many embellishments for it to ever be comfortable. Like all things in this palace, it was designed for looks over practicality. “Far be it from me to turn down a glass of anything,” he smiled, trying to relax himself. As soon as the drink was in his hands, he quickly began whittling it away.

“I do appreciate that you were so willing to help me with this endeavor. While I’m not minimizing the fighting on the Rhine, I felt it far more appropriate to utilize your experience in this area than Brandenburg’s assistance, which would turn this into a ‘blind leading the blind’ campaign.” Austria sipped his brandy and chuckled. “And, well, that shiny new kingdom of yours did leave you indebted to me.”

“Mm, that is one way of looking at things,” Prussia grumbled, his lips pursed together. If this was how their conversation would be going, he would be needing much more to drink.

They sat in tense silence for a couple moments, each appraising the other. What relationship they had before had recently grown rocky with a shared amount of personal enmity and jealousy. Any interactions they now had became a dance to see who would move first, who would deliver the most cutting of remarks with the most insincere smile. Now, the political situation required some effort to get along, even if it only amounted to a minor detente.

Roderich cleared his throat, regaining control of the situation. “As much as it pains me to admit this, I’ve been put in a humiliating enough position to where I unfortunately need your cooperation. While I would prefer to be going around you and dealing with Georg only, I’m cursed with you being the one with any familiarity with Hungarians.” Realizing how his words could be interpreted, he shot Gilbert an icy look. “Refrain from any crass insinuation. I know how your mind works.”

Gilbert held his hands up in defense. “Don’t give me that look! I wasn’t going to insinuate anything until you mentioned it!” He sighed, relieved that all pretensions of friendliness and civility could be dropped. “How do you think I feel? You really believe I’d want anything to do with you in this? If it weren’t for my debt, as you so kindly pointed out, I’d be watching this from the sidelines rooting her on. This goes against all three of my principles.”

“You have those? Color me impressed. An old hold over from your monastery days I assume.” Roderich touched a hand to his chest, feigning surprise. “My apologies, that seemed to slip out. How it warms my heart to know that, under normal circumstances, you would be right alongside the traitors. Surely this won’t backfire on me.” He rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. “I understand that a mercenary will always remain a mercenary, but is it too difficult to even pretend to side with me on one issue? If you’re going to keep your people in line, you better get used to defending the right of any established monarch to do what’s necessary to stay in power – regardless of your own satisfaction at seeing whomever it is fall.”

Prussia waved a hand flippantly. “Hypocrite. You’d be singing a different tune if the shoe were on France’s foot.” He smiled, exposing his teeth like a shark. “But fine, I can humor you. How I pray each night for peace to be restored to your lands and the health of the emperor, long may he live! And down with those Hungarians, may I slay one with my sword!” He knocked back the rest of the drink. When he saw the sheer contempt on Austria’s face, he chortled. “Don’t like what you asked for? I’m giving you enthusiasm.”

Austria sneered. “You know exactly what I meant and that definitely wasn’t it. If you could learn to hold your tongue, more people would find your presence tolerable nor would they think you a man so far removed from civility that he’s better matched with the animals. But cheers.” He finished off the rest of his glass before refilling their cups. He shook his head. “Enough of this chitchat, the only reason you’re here is to fulfill a purpose. In five days, we will head out. There should be some information in Budapest, I’m sure you’ll be able to scrounge it out. If I head anywhere near their areas, it’s as if they can tell who I am, and I receive incredibly hostile responses. Of course, if one of them trusts you that doesn’t make for an entirety of the population, but if she happens to be their collective wills and stubbornness, I assume that means you will have an easier time tracking her down than me.” He held up a finger, remembering something. “And you’re the only one of us I know who speaks the language. Oddly enough, they don’t appreciate repeated questioning in German.”

“No surprise. I can tell you from crusading that most people outside of all our lands find it off putting.” Prussia folded his arms over his chest and leaned away from him. “You want me to play spy? This was already a cowardly enough thing to ask of me, but I’m amazed that you’re making it worse by forcing me to operate in the dark. And I’m sure my involvement will be information you won’t keep private?” At Austria’s little smirk and shrug, he scoffed. “Despicable. You couldn’t care to make this easier on me? What good does getting revenge on the both of us serve?”

“Who do you take me for? I’m a man of honor. I knew this wouldn’t be something you’d accept readily; a little persuasion is in order.” Austria opened a small chest on the table before them. Inside was a satin bag, pregnant with a stack of coins.

Gilbert picked it up and dumped some of the contents in his hand. It appeared to be a not insignificant amount of gold. He shook his head with disgust. “Caiaphas offers his blood money? Be careful, Roderich, you might be showing yourself too soon.”

“I assure you that this time Judas need not kill himself. Though, I do beg you to betray her with a kiss. That’s too important of a detail to miss out.” Roderich smiled smugly, proud of his position. “Protest all you want, but we both know you’re going to accept. You knights are all the same, all pretenses of chivalry forgotten with a little amount of coin. Honor always yields to self-interest. And, to sweeten the deal, there’s more if you’re successful or turn up any useful leads. If it makes it that much easier, fine. Have this adventure be our little secret until a more beneficial time. I do live with her; if your brand of comfort will prevent me from waking up to a slit throat, then who am I to stop you?”

Gilbert gazed at the bag. Sighing, he shoved it into his jacket pocket. “If you swear to keep this between us then you have my cooperation.”

Austria smiled like a snake. “Thank you for being reasonable. You have my word that this will remain hidden from her.” He flicked his wrist away. “Now shoo. I’ll see you in the morning and we can discuss the details of my plan.”

---

Budapest.

Austria stood, hunched over a map. “Do you know where her home is? It shouldn’t be that far from where we are.”

“Are you kidding me? Of course, I do! I could enter the city blind and still find my way. I doubt the layout has changed that much.” Prussia rolled his eyes in disbelief. How could that have even been a question? “I’m heading out. Remember to give me time. If we get lucky and she happens to be there, it does us both better if I can persuade her to play along. You charging in would absolutely ruin all my work.”

Austria nodded. “You have my word; I’ll give you all the time you need as long as you prove useful. Now, run along. I’d prefer you to finish sooner rather than later.”

Gilbert rolled his eyes and began strolling into the city. He straightened his back and affixed a purposeful expression on his face. If he appeared to be a man on a mission, one with important matters at hand, then no one would consider him out of place. He nodded his head at a group of gossiping old ladies on the street, trying to determine whether what they were discussing had any value. They only spoke of the daily dramas of their families, the personal nature of them overblowing their meaning to each. Nothing of significance.

Her house had hardly changed. Which, when Gilbert stopped to think, why would it? When was the last time she had been home for any substantial length of time? It was more impressive that it hadn’t fallen into complete disarray, though he supposed she had someone take care of it on her behalf.

At the front door, he made a show of checking his pockets for keys and of frustration at being unable to find them. He took out the loose brick beneath the windowsill. There they were, as they always had been, the spare key she kept hidden. He shook his head in disapproval as he entered. “She really should move them. Any stray could walk in and take everything.”

Feeling particularly charitable, he tore a bit of scrap paper from one of the old messages sitting on a kitchen counter. Humming to himself, he began scratching out a cheeky note teasing her for her lack of foresight. He felt the air around him grow tense and slowly turned around. He was met with the tip of a sword centimeters from his face. “You know, under different circumstances this would be quite the turn on.”

Hungary narrowed her eyes into a glare. “Don’t try to be cute. We both know why you’re here. The fact that he sent the dog after me first doesn’t bode well.” She pushed the sword closer, pressing him into the counter. “You understand. If I have to cut you down to protect myself, then so be it.”

“I understand, but do you really have to call me a dog to my face? I hear that enough as it is, I don’t need it from you too.” Gilbert smiled, slowly moving the tip away from his face. “The fact that you think so low of me is painful, Erzsi. I wouldn’t be so unbothered if I were here to help anyone else but you. You know me and where my real loyalties lie. I have more honor than that.”

Her expression softened and she lowered the sword. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I should know better.” She took a step closer and inched up on her toes, all pretenses of hostility gone. His guard dropped, he leaned in and smirked feeling her hand fish around in the pocket of his breeches. Erzsébet jumped away, sword extended in one hand while tossing the bag of coins up in the other. “Ah, so this is how much I’m worth to you? You’re right, I do know you. That’s why I know a mercenary masquerading as a knight would never turn down even a measly amount of money – which this really is. You’re selling me out for much too little.”

“If you gave me a chance, there’s actually a really good explanation for that.” He paused, waiting for her to interrupt. Smiling, he continued on, “You know how highly Roderich thinks of me. He figured if he offered me a little gold now and a lot later, that would buy my cooperation. I planned on taking his money while sending him off in the opposite direction. I would never knowingly sic him onto you.”

While this relaxed her considerably, she wasn’t fully convinced. “Then why come here first if you had no malintent?”

Gilbert shrugged. “Where else could I go? I’d rather sit around here and create evidence to give him for a few hours than wander around aimlessly.”

She set the sword down, laying it on the counter. “How do you plan on tricking him? It better be a brilliant plan. He’s incredibly adept at knowing when he’s being played for a fool. Anything less and you’ll be found out immediately and I won’t have enough time to flee to where I’m needed.”

“Don’t worry, I had it all figured out! I was going to throw a dart at a map and forge a letter that you intended to send me telling me where you were heading. What? Stop laughing! He would fall for it without question!”

Erzsébet shook her head, a relieved smile stretching across her lips. “No, he wouldn’t. I think that might be one of the worst ideas you’ve ever had. It’s a miracle I decided to stay the extra day. No, if we want this to work, we’ll have to do things my way. Follow me.” She led them into her study, taking a seat at her desk.

Over her shoulder, he watched her write out a letter in her neat script. His brows furrowed together, seeing who it was addressed to. “Who’s this Ferenc guy?” He leaned down, getting a better look at what was written and frowned. “And do you need to sound so friendly? It’s not a real letter.”

“He’s winning our independence. This would be a juicy letter for you to find, sure to promise all sorts of information Austria will be desperate to know.” She bit her lip to withhold a laugh. “The point is to make this sound authentic. If I weren’t warm in it, he would know something was off. There’s no reason to be so jealous.”

Gilbert huffed and walked away from her, his arms crossed. “I’m not jealous.” Upon hearing how unconvincing he was, he scowled at the wall. “It was just an observation. There’s no reason to read into it more.” Protecting himself from causing anymore damage to his ego, he sulked in silence on the opposite end of the room.

“There. If this doesn’t satisfy him then we never stood a chance.” Erzsébet rose and slipped the letter into his hand. Taking him and the situation in, she grinned. “I don’t think you’ll ever know how much this means to me.”

He tucked it securely in the liner pocket of his jacket, giving it an affectionate pat. “I think I have some idea. I may not be able to be out on the battlefield with you, but I’m always besides you at heart.” He kissed her tenderly on the lips. “I don’t want to keep him waiting any longer and risk him getting him impatient. You’d be smart to get on the move as well. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

She softly clicked her tongue and caressed his jawline with her thumb. “There’s nothing for you to be worried about.”

“Which is exactly why I’m worried. If you can, find a way to send me word that you’re safe.” He kissed her again and, when they parted, winked. “Give those bastards hell.”

…

Gilbert lounged around lazily in his tent. His return to camp had been uneventful. The letter had been in Roderich’s possession for a couple of hours now and still no reaction. This lack of acknowledgement troubled him. Could he see right through their plot? Was the game over? These were things he didn’t want floating about in his mind. He had attempted to read to take his mind off things but found all he could do was stare blankly at the page.

A hand mysteriously appeared on his shoulder. “Read anything good lately?” When he swung the book back to hit the intruder, he felt a surprising amount of resistance. There was a begrudging respect for their block. “That’s not exactly the warm welcome I was expecting.”

Gilbert jumped up, his breathing ragged. “Erzsi, are you insane? Are you trying to get yourself captured? After all the time I’m buying you, you’re going to waste it being this reckle-”

Erzsébet covered his mouth with her hand. She glanced at the entrance, making sure no one had heard. “If you keep ranting and raving like that, I certainly will be! Keep your voice down, I’ve got a good reason for being here. Can you do that?” Only when he nodded his head in the affirmative did she release him. “I was leaving, but then I saw this little camp and knew exactly who it belonged to. I need to know how many men he brought, which thankfully aren’t much, and whether he fell for the letter. Whether or not he’s figured me out will determine what I do next.”

How he loathed that she truly had a good reason for this. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, exhaling loudly. “I’m waiting to find that out myself. I haven’t heard a word from the prick after I handed it over to one of his lackeys. I’ve been trying not to go insane in here ever since I returned.”

“Gilbert! May I enter?” Roderich’s voice called from outside.

“For fuck’s sake. Quick! Hide!” Gilbert hissed, nudging her away. “Just a moment! I’m ah…undressed!” Once Erzsébet had disappeared underneath the bedframe, he made a quick sign of the cross. “You can come in now.”

Austria entered the tent, completely unaware of the chaos around him. He took a seat at the table in the center of the room. “I have to say, I’m impressed at how quick you were. You made it sound like you would be there till nightfall. Did you honestly not have to ask around? The letter was, what? Stored away somewhere in her desk?”

“I’m as surprised as you are. It was stuffed away in some drawer, as if she couldn’t be bothered to care if it were found. She seems to be quite fond of flaunting her insubordination in places where you’re certain to check.” At his glare, Prussia smirked. “You can make that face all you want, but we both know it’s the truth. She’s overconfident and it’s making her careless. When dealing with an opponent of that sort, I would recommend waiting until their own negligence causes their defeat. There’s no reason to go on a path of destruction right now.”

“Give it a rest. Of course, that would be your proscription. And one that’ll surely cause her to win that ‘sovereignty’ she so clamors for and turn me into the biggest jackass on the continent.” Austria rolled his eyes. “I cannot afford to wait any longer and have her position further bolstered by France. If this were simply one of the regular tantrums her people so often throw then I would do exactly that. The situation is too volatile to not react. Speaking of which,” he handed the letter to Prussia, “read this to me. About the only thing I could make out was her name.”

Prussia scanned the letter, mentally translating it as quick as he could. “A lot it is just meaningless pleasantries. The only real substance to it is that she will be in Pécs in a week to receive supplies they expected from France.”

“Pécs? What an odd choice. Are you sure this letter is in her own hand?” Austria took the letter back and began examining it for any inconsistencies. “Surely you must have a letter from her with you. Don’t try to argue. I’d be more shocked if you didn’t.”

“There is one in particular I like to keep on me, but…” Gilbert hesitated in his warning. Wouldn’t it be much sweeter to see the guttural reaction? He retrieved it from his pocket and passed it over. “I know my word will never be good enough, but here. You’ll see it’s a perfect match.”

Roderich unfolded it and compared. “Ah, much better. How refreshing to see a familiar language instead of one that’s completely indecipherable.” After noticing a particular word, he became focused on the personal letter. He blinked rapidly in surprise. “Perhaps it would have been better if this were in Hungarian instead. Quite the picture this paints and, yet, I can’t avert my eyes.” He put his empty hand over his mouth and his cheeks pinkened. “That’s filthy! How did she…how did you! My God, I can see why this is the letter you carry around. Such a…unique use of language.” Once at the end, he quickly shoved it back into Gilbert’s hands.

Gilbert lovingly folded it back up and set it down on the table. He licked his lips, unable to wipe the smug smirk off his face. “Surely that answers all your questions.”

“Answers? Don’t be absurd! That creates far more questions than I’ve ever had before in my life! For starters, is what she describes even possible? And, if it is within the realm of what is capable, would it even be pleasurable? She’s absolutely right! If either of you were able to walk afterwards that would certainly be a travesty to all that was…you mean about the handwriting?” Roderich cleared his throat, now unable to take the pressure of Gilbert’s stare. “Yes, I’m sufficiently satisfied that the one you found isn’t a forgery. Though, I do wonder if either of your appetites could ever experience the same and why can’t I think about anything else? I shall never look at either of you the same.”

Before Gilbert could offer anything in response, a poorly muffled snort was heard from under the bed. The two men shared a look. “Gilbert, are you hiding someone beneath your bed?” Roderich’s tone was befuddled rather than accusatory.

The icy fingers of fear gripped Gilbert’s heart. He opened his mouth but couldn’t force any words to come out. Panic settled in and he accepted the inevitably of the havoc that would be unleashed. Rather than strike a defiant pose, he averted his eyes to the floor. He would not witness the implosion he would be party to.

“Really? Is it that difficult to be here by yourself that you’ve resorted to filling your bed with some whore? My God have a bit more dignity. I can’t believe that I must be the one to reassure you of this, but you will see her again. A cheap thrill does nothing to heal a broken heart.”

Gilbert was unable to process that a crisis was being averted. He cocked his head lamely to the side, brows knitted in confusion. “You’re not going to scream at me?”

“Why would I? I’m not your father. I don’t care who you’re copulating with, barring the obvious exception, but I believe you could do better than this. There is absolutely no reason beyond your own desperation and wretchedness to pay a whore to warm your bed.” He shrugged, completely unbothered by what was occurring. “Regardless, I’m sure the clock is ticking, and I don’t want you to pay more than what is necessary. Goodnight, enjoy yourselves, and please don’t wake me up.”

Once he had left, Erzsébet crawled out from underneath. As soon as she got a good look at Gilbert, she couldn’t stop snickering. “Do you seriously carry that letter around with you?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I can’t help getting lonely sometimes.” He wrapped his arms around her waist. “What I really want to know is how much for the hour?”

“Oh, so now I can afford to waste an hour? How quickly your tune changes when you would be the beneficiary.” She rolled her eyes at his hypocrisy, smirking. “If I wait any longer, it’ll be too late when I arrive at my first stop. I can’t lose any more time.”

He sighed, understanding. Looking at her in his arms, a sudden onslaught of worry plagued him. “Be safe, please, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Erzsébet scoffed in mock outrage. “Why would I do that? I want to win, don’t I?” She smiled up at him and rested a relaxed hand on his chest. “There’s no need to fret. Whatever happens, I always turn out just fine. Take care of yourself. I’ll see you when I can.”

Gilbert kissed her, his heart yearning with indescribable feeling. As she walked away, a sentiment took sudden hold. “Erzsi, I-!” He called out to her. She turned back, puzzlement written plainly across her face. He exhaled slowly, releasing the foreign emotion like stored tension. “I’ll be thinking of you each day.” He didn’t offer then that that’s what he always did.

She smiled softly at him, tenderness claiming her own heart. She blew a kiss and crept out, disappearing as seamlessly as she appeared. He stood there, long after she left, with something like overburdened dread sinking into his stomach.

#aph prussia #hws prussia #aph austria #hws austria #aph hungary #hws hungary #pruhun #aph pruhun #hws pruhun #aph fanfiction #aph fanfic #hws fanfic #hws fanfiction #hetalia fanfic #historical hetalia #hetalia fanfiction #theres two jokes in this im really proud of #and if you guess them right you win my hand in marriage

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

Text

A Casual Affair

Ships: PruHun

Characters: Hungary, Prussia; Austria mentioned

Summary: Fed up with her treatment under Roderich and deciding to show him that she can't be controlled in a deeply personal way, Erzsébet goes to Königsberg with a proposition for Gilbert that she knows he can't refuse.

Königsberg, 1693.

Erzsébet shivered against the chill of the wind, wrapping her shawl tighter around her. The lands so far north were always chilly this time of year as the seasons changed. She had never grown used to it despite all her time in the area. Her knuckles tapped against the door. “Come on, open up!” She muttered to herself.

Thankfully, it was only a couple of seconds before a surprised Gilbert opened the door. He cocked his head to the side. “Erzsi? What are you doing here?”

She barreled her way past him, desperate to get in. “I’m freezing! Give me a second!” A fire was burning in the fireplace and she placed her icy hands in front of it. A sigh of relief escaped her. “Much better. I simply wanted to see you, is that so wrong?”

He carried a chair in from the dining room and sat it down by the fireplace for her. He returned the smile she gave him, feeling at ease the way he always did around her. “No, but you haven’t visited me in ages. I’m surprised you even remembered the way.” He chuckled, shifting comfortably in his own armchair.

“Well, I’ve spent enough time here. And, really, wherever you are, I’ll always be able to find you.” She stared at him with an intensity that made him blush and turn away. She giggled softly. “What? We both know it’s true.”

“I-I guess so. But when you put it like that!” Gilbert cleared his throat, feeling like an imbecile. He exhaled loudly through his nose, trying to calm down. The whole time, he felt her watching him. “Why are you really here? You didn’t come all this way just to embarrass me.”

Erzsébet laughed again. “Oh, but what if I did?” Seeing his eyeroll, she shrugged. “Fine, so I didn’t. I needed to see you, Gilbert, there’s been a lot going on back in Vienna. I just, I needed someone, and it’s always been you.” She began fidgeting with the skirt of her dress in her hands. Her head tilted low, she nervously watched him through her eyelashes.

His eyebrows knitted together in concern. He leaned towards her in his seat. “What? What’s been happening? Are you alright?” He began scanning over her body, trying to find any signs of distress. A protective fire began burning within him. “What do I have to do?”

A smile began to itch up the corners of her mouth. She forced it back down, inhaling dramatically. “Vienna is a horrible place; I was silly to believe it ever could become a substitute home. Ever since I’ve moved in, there’s been no stop to the abuse of my people. Roderich had led to me believe that my cooperation would mean some sort of improvement, but I let my,” she paused, thinking carefully of the phrasing so her plans wouldn’t backfire, “my guard down much too easily. And, forgetting how he treats my people, he’s become horrendous to me! Oh, when I first arrived, he put on the whole charm offensive. But now that he thinks he doesn’t have to worry about me, well, I can be bossed around and berated like anyone else! He’s inconsiderate, he cares little for me as only some little prize, and I’m insulted every day I have the misfortune of being around him.” She looked up at Gilbert, satisfaction at his disgusted expression burning besides her fury at her own mistreatment. “Everyday is all oppressive tyranny. How I’ve been forced to live, conforming myself to whatever his narrow expectations are. Any little joy I manage to find is a miracle and near impossible to keep.” Despite her intentions going in, she found she was speaking from the heart. None of what she said was fabricated.

While she had been speaking, Gilbert had begun pacing up and down the small living room. His emotions would not allow him to keep still. He moved frantically, shaking his head at everything she said. “That bastard! That son of a bitch! Who does he think he is? I don’t think he understands that you could beat him within an inch of his life. Why haven’t you already? I’ll do it! This is his thing, isn’t it? No wonder Bohemia started shit, this is who he is!” He turned on his heel, striding towards her. There was a fire ablaze in his eyes, one Erzsébet hadn’t seen in a while. He extended his hand out towards her. “Did you bring your sword? I’ll come back with you. That’ll get him to leave you alone. Between the two of us, he’ll stand no chance.”

She had accounted for his rage, but not quite like this. “No! Are you out of your mind? We’re not marching in and murdering him! I don’t care how satisfying it would be; at this point, it would only make my situation worse.” Erzsébet rose and moved towards him, taking his hand in hers. Relaxing, a smile eased its way onto her face. “To have you here for me is enough. I missed seeing you, you’ve been staying away too much.”

He was staring intently at her hand in his. His cheeks began burning hot again and he found it difficult to focus on anything but their proximity. Noticing the silence between them, he realized he was supposed to be speaking. “Ah, right! I come around when I can. You’re the one who hasn’t been putting in her share of the effort.” He smirked at her, relieved to be back in known territory. “If you really miss me so much, it wouldn’t hurt you to show it.”

“I would love to, but I’m not allowed to leave! He barely lets me go to Budapest, do you believe he would approve of me coming here? I’m expected to stay in my gilded cage and do whatever menial tasks he doles out. Not only that, but apparently Antonio is on the outs and that means I’ll be granted the pride of being some vapid trophy wife, but without the elevation the title would come with! And the staff he hired is not easily bribed, making everything even more difficult.”

“I have to give him credit. He really is determined to make life hell in every way imaginable.” Gilbert huffed. “And to do that to you, as if he doesn’t have some second marriage all lined up! To act like that’s a marriage, good Lord! As if you would ever want to be chained like that to him. Who does he think he is? God’s gift to women? The creep’s ego would suffocate anyone even if they were all the way in the New World! Please, Erzsi, you have to let me help you somehow. The thought of you being trapped, miserable in Vienna is unbearable.” His hand gently squeezed hers, surprisingly firm yet earnest.

At last she allowed herself to smile. “If you really mean it, I suppose there is one way you could help me.” She retook her spot in her seat, suppressing a chuckle when she saw him kneel besides her. She seized his hand again and began tracing circles on the back with her thumb. “You remember that one time, right after you became a duchy, when you found me in the woods? Not the time when you had to bandage me up, but when I was playing around?”

“When you were climbing trees and yelling that you were ‘the warrior queen of the forest?’ How could I forget, you looked wild and completely insane.” Gilbert smiled, remembering, before shaking it out of his head. “What does that have to do with anything?”

She ignored him, continuing. “And you appeared out of nowhere and told me that I’d better be willing to defend my kingdom, because you were coming to claim it for yourself.” Erzsébet laughed, remembering what happened next in vivid detail. “So, I jumped down from however high and landed right on you.”

“As soon as I could breathe again and saw you, I knew I didn’t want to fight you. Not then.” He felt himself getting transported right back to that day. His heart painfully flipped in his chest, as it had around her ever since.

“You asked me if a warrior queen had place besides her for a loyal knight. Then you,” she failed to suppress a giggle, “then you made me this little crown out of beautiful wildflowers and, when you put it on me, I couldn’t stop myself. I had to kiss you.” She licked her lips, smirking. Despite herself, she felt herself getting caught up in the emotions this memory always caused. “Well, not the only thing I had to do to you that day.”

His eyes were focused on her mouth. “We never talked about it afterwards.” His voice was hoarse, but he strangely found he didn’t care. His desperation was apparent, but what good would hiding it do now? They both knew what they knew.

“We’re talking about it now. Doesn’t this count?” She caressed his cheek and he leaned into her touch, eyes closing. “I didn’t wish to bring it up and risk ruining everything. How could I risk losing my best friend? You mean too much to me.”

Something within him stirred. He sighed, never before knowing such a peace as this. “Erzsi, I-” He stopped himself. Pieces began moving into place in his mind. Why bring up that day now, after telling him about the horrible situation she was facing at home? With the assurance that there was one way he could help her, one way that led to this. He stiffened and leaned away. “What are you trying to do?” His voice hardened, trying to distance himself from his prior feelings.

That took her aback. There was the response she hadn’t accounted for – that he would grow suspicious and begin to figure things out. She opened her mouth, considered lying, and closed it. The idea of it brought forth unreasonable guilt. She retracted her hand and set it lamely in her lap. “Roderich believes he can control every aspect of my life until some day I conform to his will completely. If he needs a perfect doll of a wife for ‘appearances,’ or whatever bullshit he claims, then I want him to know that can never happen. I’ll never be his to control.” Erzsébet couldn’t meet his gaze, staring purposefully out the window.

“And that would be done by having some salacious affair with me?”

She weakly nodded her head.

“So, you wanted to use me?” The hurt was clear in his voice. Out the corner of her eye, she watched him get up and stand on the opposite side of the room from her. Silence hung over them until Gilbert managed to speak again, this time sounding bitter. “Did you ever stop to consider how I would feel? I’m not some dumb oaf, Erzsi, I’ve been cursed with my own thoughts and feelings too.”

“Of course I did! That’s the whole reason why I asked you in the first place!” She could look him in the eyes now that her shame had been replaced with frustration. “You can’t really believe that I wouldn’t think of you.”

“Like hell I can! What evidence is there otherwise? What do you need me for? All you need is a body; you don’t have to hurt me while you’re trying to hurt Roderich!” He crossed his arms over his chest and scoffed. “You had a whole thing prepared and you knew exactly what would work. What a moron I am. I should’ve noticed sooner.”

Erzsébet rolled her eyes. “How could I ask anyone? It had to be you, Gil! Till the end of eternity, it will be!” She noticed his surprise but was too determined to prove him wrong to realize she’d won. She rose, striding over towards him. “Who else could I trust with this? Fuck Roderich! Nothing I do will ever matter to him, but I need some measly form of joy! Do you want me to live the rest of my life in misery under him? If it upsets him, wonderful! Then he understands how it feels. But I need something to give me a happiness that can only be found outside myself. And, goddammit, can’t you understand that you’re the only one who ever could?”

Before she knew it, his hands were cupping her cheeks and his lips were crashing against hers. Greedy, she pulled him closer to her. There it was, the rush of being alive, long since forgotten since she’d been kept away from every battlefield and away from her home, her heart. Yet, how different it was! This felt new, felt exciting, like the stuff bards sung and poets wrote obsessively about. She grabbed a fistful of his hair in her hands. Closer, she needed him closer. Any distance between them would be a travesty.

Gilbert, seemingly sensing her wishes, hoisted her up into his arms. Euphoria filled him. He spared a moment to wonder how long since that first day he had dreamed of this, then scolded himself for even stepping away from the present for a second. How could he when this was reality? There was nothing in his mind that could rival this, no thoughts that needed to be considered now. His breathing hitched, feeling her hand through thick wool. He buried his face in her neck, trying his best to remain collected.

“What’s the point in staying out here? We both know where this is heading,” she growled in his ear. Who was he to disobey? With perhaps too much eagerness, he hustled them towards the bedroom, slamming it shut behind them with his foot.

---

Gilbert stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t dare to look besides him, fearing that if he did, Erzsébet would be gone and this would prove to all be a dream. Still, he groped around the bed until he found her hand and took it in his. A dazed grin overtook his face and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

“Are you okay? My God, please don’t tell me I broke you.” He felt her shift besides him, propping herself up on her elbow so she could watch him. She brushed the hair out of his face with her fingers. “And here I was about to tell you you’re much better than you were the last time.”

He collected himself, managing to calm down enough to answer her. He rolled over so he was facing her, his satisfied little smile never once leaving him. “I don’t think I’ve ever been better.” He took hold of her wrist and kissed her palm. “Have I ever mentioned to you how incredible you are? I’ve always been in awe of you.”

She rolled her eyes and couldn’t stop herself from snorting. “You haven’t. I think that’s the aftereffects of everything getting to your head.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Though, who am I to complain? A compliment is a compliment.”

Gilbert smiled up at her, lazy and with an emotion she couldn’t quite place. “So, how do you propose we use this against Roderich? Start flaunting what he can never have in his face?” He was tracing circles along her thigh, desperate still to let his fingers learn every inch of her.

“Oddly enough, I hadn’t considered that. It might be outrageous enough to work. Wait! I thought you were against that. What changed your mind?”

He knew there was a true answer to that question, but he knew it was buried so deep that he would never let himself think it. “If it was anyone else, then I would have my objections and I could never go back on them. But, somehow, you always manage to be the exception to my rules. If it’s for you, it’s not really being used, is it? You’ve always been different.” He chuckled softly, knowing that what he said was as close to the truth as he could get. “What’s our battle plans, general?”

How could she focus on revenge right now? “Not tonight. I don’t want to give him another thought.” Erzsébet nestled in, claiming his chest as her pillow. She couldn’t stop smiling when his arm draped lazily around her waist. “Tonight, I just want to enjoy this.” She gently chided herself for any of her old fears. This didn’t feel like the desecration of the old, but the beginning of something new, something to enjoy as much as what it replaced. If not perfect bliss, then this would do more than suffice. It was better than what she had hoped for, what she had even allowed herself to believe possible. Personal joy could be found in captivity, if only she had the right person alongside her.

#hello im back from self-imposed hiatus #aph prussia #hws prussia #aph hungary #hws hungary #pruhun #aph pruhun #hws pruhun #hetalia #hetalia fanfiction #hws fanfic #aph fanfic #hws fanfiction #hetalia fanfic #aph fanfiction #i just *chefs kiss* love these two

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

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First Blossom

Ships: AusHun; past PruHun if you’re so inclinced, but not necessarily

Characters: Hungary, Austria, Turkey and Bavaria very briefly; mentioned Prussia

Summary: At long last, Hungary's penultimate battle against the Ottomans comes. But with it brings forth the new challenge of dealing with a new overlord, Austria, who whispers sweet promises on how this time things will be different. Does Erzsébet listen to the voices of her people, who bid her to fight against all tyrants, or does she allow her heart allow her to trust this pleasant stranger?

Nagyharsány, 1687.

In any other time, it would’ve felt glorious to be back on the battlefield. In any other battle, Hungary would’ve allowed herself a moment to feel the comfort of armor digging into her shoulders, of the scent of metallic filling her nose and the rhythm of her horse’s determined gallop. But this was not just any regular battle. This was one she had been preparing years for, one she had been fighting for in the swampy marshlands with her people once her sovereignty had been cruelly revoked by fish much larger than she. There could be no reveling until the last drop of blood was spilt and freedom was hers.

She unsheathed her sword and spurred her horse, commanding the beast to hurry faster. There was an opening for her, a break in the Ottoman formation and she would seize it. Her heart longed to be in the very thick of things. She glanced backwards, noting some of the German states mounted in the distance with distaste. Apparently, they had fought a major war not too long ago, one that cost them their lives and their land, hence their reticence to personally shed more blood.

‘Fine,’ Erzsébet thought with a sniff. ‘But don’t expect me to be on the frontlines for your battles.’

She dismounted, hopping down with a gracefulness that displayed centuries of experience. War was a familiar dance and she was its master. She slashed and swung and blocked with ease. If she thought about it, she was disappointed about how stale the Ottoman forces had become, how complacent they were in their superiority. There was no mystique in how they fought. Everything was the same as it was when Suleiman whirled into her life in 1521 and stole everything. For a moment, Erzsébet pitied Sadiq for this oversight. But then she remembered the towering palaces, the glimmering riches, and the finest fabrics she’d ever seen and discarded her pity. It would be wasted on the man who believed he had everything.

As the Ottoman troops thinned out, Germans filled in. Over the clanging of metal, she could hear their shouting in their native tongue. The half of her mind unoccupied with the fight knocked the rust off her German, whirling quickly to translate their cries and commands. She smiled, memories of her childhood rushing to the fore. There was her impish Teuton, threatening a crusade upon all of Eastern Europe and proving useful if paid enough. She remembered him teaching her the throaty sounds of his own language and that of those he’d conquered. There was a new name he went by; he had told her that recently. Prussia, like that of the people he threatened with conversion or death. Distasteful, but she supposed it fit. Erzsébet wondered if he was there among the fray, fighting for her behalf among the rest of his people. A small, foolish part of her hoped he was. She buried it.

A magnetic force compelled Hungary to look up and her gaze settled on him. There, atop the most gorgeous stallion, was Sadiq. She bristled, gripping her sword tighter in her right hand, and charged. This was the moment, the moment she had long been waiting for. Revenge would be hers, goddammit, brought forth from her will alone.

“Sadiq!” She yelled his name like a battle cry, commanding his full attention. Underneath his heavy Janissary hat, she saw his face darken with recognition. “Get down and fight like a man, you coward!” For good measure, she swiped at his legs.

He complied, landing with a thud. Sadiq unsheathed his scimitar, a smirk all the while on his face. “You call me the coward? But you’re the one who’s been fighting us from the bushes all these years.” He lazily beckoned her forward. “I should be the one throwing such accusations around at you.”

With a grunt, she charged, their swords clanging. She had no words, no taunts, she wished to hurl at him. Hungary only focused on her motions, on countering each of his blows and returning with her own forceful ones. A self-satisfied smirk always emerged when she successfully landed a blow against him. Which, thankfully, was often. This was the best she’d done against him yet. There would be well-earned pride in this victory.

Too soon, someone stepped in between them. Her irritation prickled the hairs up on the back of her neck. “What are you doing?” She hissed. She would not have what was hers stolen by a usurper.

A man turned around to face her. He had beautiful violet eyes, glistening like jewels. He was too pretty to be in armor, standing about in such a filthy place as a battlefield. Erzsébet wanted to march him home, back into the palaces he belonged in so the fighting could continue among the rest of the lowly creatures. He smiled at her, polite and apologetic. “Filling in for you. I presume you are Erzsébet?” At her little nod, his smile widened. “Wonderful, we’ve been looking for you. Bayern! Bring her back to camp! I’ll settle this matter.”

Erzsébet moved to protest, but the mysterious man had already begun sparring with Sadiq. There went her years of hard work, the glory given to another. She scowled, skulking besides whoever this Bayern guy was back to the German camp. He paid her no mind, a fact she was appreciative of. She was too aggrieved to speak and would have been able to only offer him cutting remarks.

Minutes at the camp seemed to drag on for hours. The medics fussed around her, quickly moving to wrap her cuts and see what could be done about her bruising. Multiple times she had told them it was pointless, that they were wasting crucial supplies better served on another, but they ignored her. All they saw was a woman with mild injuries that needed to be protected from the world, never mind how many Ottomans she cut down on her own.

Whenever she tried to speak to one of the generals or those that looked like states, she would be brushed aside. All she wanted to know was if they’d won and what this meant for her people. Those, apparently, were answers she wouldn’t be privy to. Hungary bristled at this treatment, especially at how her title was disregarded by them all with such cool indifference. She suspected there was a reason for it, but without knowing why she was lost.

At long last, the mysterious man reappeared. He materialized before her, as if by thin air. It was startling, but rather flattering that someone, at long last, deemed her important enough to be informed.

He gave a slight bow, all awkward in his armor that prevented such gentlemanly motions. “I apologize for my earlier rudeness. So lost was I in the thick of things that I forgot to properly introduce myself.” His eyes met hers, held them for a long while. Electricity crackled through her veins and, embarrassed, her cheeks flushed. “I’m Roderich von Edelstein, better known to all the world as Austria. You’ve been quite the woman to find, Hungary. My men have been tearing up the countryside to find you, but your people refused to point them in the proper direction.” His tone was light, gently chiding her as if all this had been a joke both parties were in on.

Hungary remembered it, all of it. She had heard of her receiving a new king, one elected on the throne, but one that was as foreign as the one from the East. Habsburg, that’s what they called themselves. She’d heard grumblings from her people of tyrannical Catholicism and a willingness to make deals with the devil so long as they gained and the people suffered. She had refused to meet with them until she and her people were liberated. That’s why she stayed, fighting in the marshes until the bitter end, reaching out only to those most devoted nobles.

Erzsébet tried to piece the reality of what she knew – the horrible realities her people faced, the cruel punishments they endured and fled from – with the man before her now. If all this were true, and it was, then wouldn’t that make him the embodiment of her people’s suffering? That this was another man, another state, for them to fight against now? But this man, Roderich, didn’t he seem too beautiful to be the tyrant responsible? His face seemed so patient, so kind and open. His eyes were shining splendidly in the light, she wanted to dive in and get lost in them.

“Erzsébet? How are you faring? You’re staring at me with this vacant, dumbstruck expression. It’s rather disconcerting.” Concern furrowed Roderich’s brows, bunched them up tight together.

“I’m fine! Perfectly fine, I don’t mean to worry you.” Her cheeks burned hot. She averted her eyes to the floor. “There’s a lot to take in, I’m sure you understand.” Composed, she dared to meet his gaze once more. “Please understand that I wasn’t trying to make anyone’s life difficult. I just…had to handle things in such a manner. As for my people, well, you know how they are. They can be a bit protective and always too eager to spurn the authorities on one’s behalf. Isn’t it endearing?”

“Mm, quite.” There was a dark glimmer of something in his eyes that was gone before she could categorize it. His easy smile returned with her reassurances. “Well, no matter. What counts now is that we’ve found you at last and you’re finally where you belong. Though, that does raise a slew of other issues that certainly require a resolution sooner rather than later. Are you well? I would prefer to handle them before nightfall in the privacy of my tent. Negotiating terms in public lends to all sorts of meddling busybodies and I don’t think we need anyone needling their way into our affairs.”

Erzsébet nodded, rising. Whatever trifles were in her mind cleared out at the idea of work. These were matters too important for her judgement to be clouded by petty things. “Lead the way.”

She was impressed with the way the men scattered out of Roderich’s way as they moved. It was different than how her men behaved around her. Where she walked, they congregated to trade stories and jokes with her, seeking approval. It was an after-battle ritual she enjoyed, one where the glory of the living could be praised and the courage of the fallen commemorated. She initially suspected it was a German thing but remembered the Teuton’s behavior with his own men and assumed instead it was a quirk of Roderich’s persona. She understood it. The man seemed too high above it all in a way mortals must find intimidating.

That Bayern guy appeared again, swooping down to whisper something into Roderich’s ear while casting a glance back at Erzsébet. Whatever it was, it earned him a jabbing elbow to the side as he roared with laughter. Roderich gave him a sharp look of disapproval. “Don’t defile me with such talk. I don’t have to take that from you!” Bayern scampered along, not out of fear from his threats, but from a desire to seek mischief elsewhere. She supposed they were related or, at least, familiar with each other in a way akin to family.

Inside the tent was majestic. Brilliant silks and fabrics were everywhere. She was stunned by the magnificence and felt shame for her own sparse living arrangements all these years. As Roderich circled around, taking his seat at the desk in the middle of the room, she assessed him. Here was a man who clearly had everything, who spoke and made the world listen. It should’ve been obvious to her before, what, with his strength to take on a foe she had failed multiple times against with her limited resources.

And, yet. Here he was. Staring at her with a friendly, inviting expression. The man who had everything wanted her – or, really, her cooperation. But it was still a want that she could satiate.

Apparently, she had not been the only one doing research. “Ah, you’re the observant type? My, I wonder what all it is you’ve seen, what you’ve noticed. Just a glimpse behind your eyes would be satisfying enough, though it could never paint the full truth of your reality.” Gingerly, he rested his chin upon his fist. “My apologies if I’m getting carried overboard. Certainly, you don’t wish for me to ramble about such things. I’ve heard you have questions and I sincerely apologize for the inability to provide you with answers for so long. You understand, we didn’t wish to speak so soon and risk having Fate revoke that which she so freely gave.”

Erzsébet cursed how he flirted so casually, to the point where she questioned whether he was even aware of the effect of his words. He had to be, she assured herself, he was too intelligent not to be aware of the purpose behind everything he did. Desperate not to be thrown completely off her guard, she latched onto the prospect of discussing business desperately. “Yes! Yes, I had quite a few, actually. I understand not wishing to jinx yourself, but some communication would have been appreciated! I assure you, I’m nothing short of reasonable.” Hungary calmed herself. Airing her grievances to him hardly felt therapeutic. She smiled and exhaled, relieving herself of her tensions. “A simple question first: how did we fare? Are my people free?”

Austria sighed and leaned back in his chair. “If this is the simple question, I fear what else the lady has in store.” He shook his head slightly, collecting his thoughts. He moved cautiously now, as if he were dealing with a cornered animal. “While this victory has not chased the Ottomans from your lands, it will make expelling them out much easier. I am most confident that it will only take a few more months to have them out completely. Rest assured, while this is not the end, it is the beginning of the end.” He tapped his fingers on the edge of the table, considering his next words. “I’m assuming, despite your absences in areas my men searched, you were never out of the loop, so to speak?”

“Your assumption is correct.” She turned the full intensity of her eyes upon him. She knew what words would be coming next and how she would have to battle against them now, but she wanted to make saying them before her difficult. It was devoid of malice but derived from a stubbornly defiant nature.

“Then you’re aware that these lands are, technically speaking, mine?” She nodded her head, slowly. Austria sighed again, this time much more frustrated. “That should answer your question on freedom, though I can only speculate as to how unsatisfying that must be to here. I feel it’s best if I assure you that we only stepped in when chaos began breaking out after the old dynasty disintegrated. And, being so close to our borders, it was unwise to not step forth and make our claim.”

Hungary nodded her head again. “There’s no need to rehash history to me, Austria. I was witness to it too.” All the warmth had left her words and expression. She crossed her arms over her chest.

This required a new tactic. Roderich silently went through his options. Settling on the best one, his smile returned, as easy and light as it had previously been. “I know this isn’t an ideal situation, especially after all you had been fighting for, but I promise that this will work better for you.” He leaned forward, trying to convey his earnestness. “The immediate aftermath will be difficult and grueling, as it always is after these sorts of monumental changes. You and your people will need someone there for you to help take the worst of these burdens off your shoulders.” He slowly took her hand in his. He paused and, only when she didn’t offer any opposition, continued speaking. “Erzsébet, allow me to be that person for you. I have resources that will make this transition easier on you and all involved, but I can only do that if you permit me to. I don’t wish to act over you or seem as if I’m denying your autonomy.”

Erzsébet stared at his hand in hers. The dual nature of her being argued within her. The voices of her people demanded she yank free from his grasp, to fight, to curse at what little his words meant to their realities. But she was also a woman with her own desires and wishes. Her heart was pounding in her chest, ricocheting against her ribs. Her desires bid her to listen to her foolish heart, trust this man whose gentle demeanor promised no harm would ever come by his hand. He promised friendship and, in her greed, she wanted more.

Licking her lips, she at last met his eyes and commanded herself to hide the war raging within. Pragmatic. She had to be pragmatic, lest she become a fool. “I’ve heard tales from my people about forced conversions and heavy-handed tactics against those unwilling. I’m not accusing you of personal guilt,” she silently chided herself for mincing her words, so unlike her it was, “but I can only accept your offer if it means that any such improprieties will cease immediately.” She was proud of herself for taking a stand, as weak as it was, and not giving in as freely as she would have.

That dark glimmer returned in Austria’s eyes, once again gone before she could define it. Contempt? Disgust? Fury? Try as she might, she couldn’t place it. “All of that is part of the bargain. Those orders come from the highest ranks and, naturally, I have the access to prompt a lessening of them.” He opened his mouth before closing it quickly. She wondered what he had meant to say. “Though, I must warn you that nothing is overnight. Unlike the saints, I don’t provide miracles. Trust, specifically your trust in me, will be paramount.”

Hungary closed her eyes. She supposed this was as good an answer as she could expect. What of it, her trust in him? It shouldn’t exist, she didn’t know what sort of character this Roderich really had. All she had were the instincts of her gut and her heart and what could they really be worth? They had led her to ridiculous things before, brought her worthless pain and agony. Nor was this a matter that purely affected her, it would have ramifications felt far and wide.

Erzsébet opened her eyes. “My trust is in your hands. But I’m warning you, once lost it can never be rebuilt.”

Roderich grinned, wide and toothy. The action didn’t seem natural to him. He released her hand with a gentle squeeze. “Fantastic! I can’t emphasize enough how thrilled I am!” He seemed more relaxed now, at ease with all in the world. “With that matter out of the way, is there anything else troubling you?”

She remembered her earlier curiosity, that which she felt on the battlefield. “Did you bring the support of all the Germans?” Embarrassment filled her immediately. It was a ridiculous question, one she shouldn’t even care about. If Prussia was here, he would’ve found her. He always managed to, regardless of whether she wanted it.

“All of them? You give half of them too much credit. Most couldn’t be bothered to fight a war within their own borders, much less one this far away.” Austria huffed, momentarily filled with the grievances of centuries past and present. Realizing she cared little for these, Roderich dropped it and picked up a teasing tone instead. “Why the inquiry? Is there a specific Hans, Wilhelm, or Friedrich you’re looking for?”

“There is someone I’m asking for, but he doesn’t go by any of those names.” Her courage had momentarily returned. Then she met Roderich’s gaze, how warm it was, and all thoughts of the Teuton slipped away. For reasons she didn’t understand, she refused to bring him up in Roderich’s presence for fear of cheapening his attention. “Forget it. I’m sorry, it was a foolish thought. One of those childhood friends best forgotten.”

Perplexed, Roderich tilted his head to the side. The action seemed so innocent and innocuous. “Are you sure? It’s no hassle, I assure you. And, if he’s not here, all their whereabouts are known to me. Tracking him down would hardly prove difficult.” She resolutely shook her head to which he shrugged, unbothered. “No matter. Some of them are hardly worth remembering. I know I try my hardest to forget a few. Seeing as that’s everything, I can have someone lead you to your chambers for the night. You’ll be attended there in full, no luxury within our humble means denied to you.”

Relieved, Erzsébet smiled, rising from her seat at the table. “Thank you, I would appreciate that. You tease me with the idea of luxuries! After living how I have, a nice bed safe from danger is the most valuable of them all.”

While he made the arrangements, she stood back and watched. The swiftness of how everyone jumped at his command had yet to cease amazing her. She considered teaching that in her own troops. But then the easy camaraderie that she treasured too much would be gone. Let them openly question her and view her as a peer, it made their loyalty that much more valuable.

At last, everything appeared in place. Roderich stood before her and, taking her hand in his, brought it to his lips. “Thank you for being so open to me. I’m sorry to belabor this so much, but I need you to understand that your trust is not misplaced. Rest well. I anxiously await till our next meeting in the morning.”

Erzsébet’s cheeks burned hot and an easy laugh escaped her. How charming was this little prince! “Know that I’m holding you to your word.” Despite the gravity of her promise, her tone was of airy chiding, flirty in nature. “Till morning, Roderich.” With that, she let herself be led away with eager thoughts about the future playing in her head.

#snake oil salesman roderich is my fave roderich #go off king make false promises to get your way #aph hungary #hws hungary #aph austria #hws austria #aph aushun #aushun #hws aushun #hetalia fanfic #hetalia fanfiction #aph fanfic #aph fanfiction #hws fanfic #hws fanfiction #historical hetalia

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

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wow wouldn’t it be amazing to have a three chapter fic going over young ludwig’s relationships with erzsi, roderich, and gilbert and seeing what he learnt from each of them? want to experience some cute family stuff but also the conflict nationhood inherently presents on any personal relationships formed by them? oh man oh shit here it is!!

wondering where this family stuff came from in my verse? here’s what you missed on glee

#reblog

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

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The Pride of Wisdom

Characters: Prussia, Austria, Switzerland, Hungary; mentioned Holy Rome, England

Summary: To create Germany's body, Prussia and Austria must work together using less than typical means. Somehow, their plans are found out and lead to an uncomfortable confrontation with a incredibly upset Switzerland over the morals of their methodology.

A/N: The title comes from a Frankenstein quote '“Man," I cried, "how ignorant art thou in thy pride of wisdom!”' There's some overlap in themes between this story and that classic which, while unintentional, I decided to lean into in the choice of title. I've also changed Switzerland's name from Bash/Vash to Roland due to neither of those names being actual names and my liking many alternatives for him better that work in French and German. I hope this doesn't impair anyone's enjoyment too much and, if it's bothersome, I apologize. I can also explain why the date for which this is set too, as it's much earlier than any formal efforts by Austria or Prussia to unify, which is acknowledged by Roderich and Gilbert.

Vienna, 1835.

Prussia knocked impatiently on the door. All was quiet around him save for the gentle patter of rain against the ground. It was the typical nighttime stillness and he found it irritating. No one appeared to be stirring. He knocked on the door again, this time with much more force.

“Yes, yes, I heard you the first time!” The door was flung open by a flustered Austria. He ushered Prussia inside. “Are you ready? I would prefer to get this over with as soon as possible.”

“Of course I’m ready. I didn’t come all this way to laze around. Where is it?”

Austria led them to the basement. At the very end, something the length and shape of a child sat atop an old table. It was wrapped in a series of blankets, masking what was beneath.

Gilbert hoisted it up over his shoulder. He patted the padding around it affectionately. “What’s with all this? Were you really that afraid of people snooping?” For once, his teasing appeared to be good natured. They were acting towards the same goal, eliminating any need for malice between them in the short-term.

“I wish that were the case. How many years has it been now? It’s been rotting in that crypt for long enough. I didn’t want the stench to fill up my home.” Roderich extinguished the candle he’d lit to illuminate the room. “Carry it up to the kitchen. There’s plenty of room there for what you’ll need to do.”

“You’re not worried about any of the servants walking in?” Gilbert shrugged, silently impressed at the lack of concern. It seemed uncharacteristic of his host, but there could be hidden depths he had yet to discover.

Roderich gave him an incredulous look. “You think I would have them here? No, I’ve sent them home to their families for the weekend. Much easier to operate without fearing an interruption.” He shook his head. “Honestly, Gilbert, what kind of fool do you take me for? The risk I’d run to my reputation if any of them saw. Perhaps you can flout the wishes of your government openly, but I prefer to have a bit more tact in my personal rebellions.”

That was disappointing. And here Gilbert had almost believed he had rubbed off on Roderich, had taught the man the benefits of cutting it fast and loose. He shook it off quickly, imagining the humor in Roderich being left alone to fend for himself. He smirked. “No one to look after you? How have you made it this long? I would expect you to be wasting away by now.”

That earned him a sharp rebuke. Roderich opened the door leading them out of the basement, casting a foul look over his shoulder. “I am fully capable of navigating a kitchen. For years I got along fine without any help. I can certainly last for a few days. Your concern is misplaced.” A self-satisfied little smile made itself home on his lips. “Besides, I doubt that you would find it very comfortable without them either. Do barbarians know how to use a knife for cutting meats or is it only a tool for bloodshed in your hands?”

Gilbert laughed. “That says it all. Erzsi’s been doing all the cooking, hasn’t she?” The silence he received proved telling. He laughed harder now, having to lean against the kitchen’s doorframe for assistance holding himself up. He wiped a tear from his eye. “For a second – a second! – you almost had me. Ah, poor Roddy. You’ve grown too soft from all the years of living as a pampered kitten.”

A loud sigh escaped from Austria before he could contain it. His face burned red. There were more important things at hand, the teasing could be saved till later. He tapped his foot impatiently. “Can we begin this? The sooner it’s over the better. Now, where is that…thing you were supposed to get from Arthur?”

Prussia set what he’d been carrying down on the counter. Out of his pocket, he pulled a worn and leather-bound book. The cover contained various markings that held no meaning to either man. “Relax, I’ve got it right here. Arthur handed it over without so much as a fight. All he did was warn me to be careful.”

Panic flashed through Austria’s eyes. “Don’t tell me he knows what we’re doing.” His anxiety only increased when Prussia could no longer meet his gaze. “You absolute moron! Why would you think that appropriate! If France catches wind of what we’re doing – much less our own kings – it will be our heads on the chopping block! The one time it truly mattered for you to keep your damn mouth closed and you couldn’t be bothered! You’re an imbecile!”

“What would you have done? He cornered me on the damn issue, pressing me for why I needed a spell book with such a thing in it. What would you have me say? The guy’s been reliable enough to me, I felt sure I could trust him.” Prussia shrugged. “All that mattered to him was that it would hurt France in some way. And I never told him the details, but I’m sure he figured out a lot of it for himself.”

This answer satisfied Roderich somewhat. His worries were still gnawing at him, but he pushed them aside. There was no need to get into them now, there was nothing that could be done. He began undoing the knot of blankets that hid what they carried. Finally, he reached the last one and did away with it. There, amid them all, laid what remained of Holy Rome’s corpse. He gagged on the scent, stumbling away from the counter.

Gilbert seemed completely undisturbed by it. By now, the scent of death meant nothing to him. He flipped open the little book to the page he needed, skimming the instructions. He had them memorized as he’d been reading and rereading it over the journey here. Still, he wanted to be completely sure of himself. They couldn’t afford to make any mistakes.

“Where’s the rosemary? We need to burn that first and clean what we’re going to use with moon water.” The absurdity of Gilbert saying such things wasn’t lost on either of them. He suppressed his smile, knowing he needed to be serious.

Roderich stood on the far side of the room, with his head turned towards the hallway. The air where he was remained pure and not putrid. “It’s not h-” a loud banging on the door cut him off. Irritation prickled his skin as he headed towards the front entrance. “Who in the world could that be? That incessant banging at such an hour. What could possibly be so important that it can’t wait till tomorrow?”

He threw open the door, surprised to be staring down an infuriated Switzerland. Roland pushed through, backing Roderich up into Gilbert. “You know what’s just wonderful? You two shut everybody out of your little schemes, but word always seems to travel. Both of your damn egos don’t allow you to keep your mouths quiet, huh?” His breathing was ragged, and his shoulders trembled in their fury.

Roderich threw his hands up between them, trying to gently push the other man away. “What are you rambling on about? You come here, bursting in like a madman, and expect us to have any idea what it is you’re referring to? Outlandish, have some courtesy.” Despite how calm he sounded, his heart was racing in his chest. He supposed this is what a cornered animal felt like.

His answer was unsatisfactory. He was grabbed by the collar of his shirt. Never had he seen such mania in Roland’s eyes. “Don’t play coy with me! You think that act really works for anyone but your princes, too inbred to have anything resembling a brain left between their ears? You and I both know exactly what I’m talking about! This crime against nature! You both should be ashamed!”

“Schwarze, the only crime against nature happening here is that Roddy and I are spending a peaceful evening together.” Gilbert gingerly freed a grateful Roderich, moving slowly so as not to enrage Roland further. “There’s no need to burst in here like this. You’d be better served heading home.” He tried nudging Roland away, but the man refused to budge.

The more they pretended everything was normal, that nothing was out of the ordinary, the more they increased Roland’s rage. He narrowed his gaze on Gilbert now, eyes blazing with a fire that refused to be stomped out. He smacked Gilbert’s hand away with a look of disgust. “Don’t you dare touch me! I don’t need to be corrupted by your influence either!” He noticed the light coming from behind the others and barreled his way into the kitchen, moving faster than they could react to. He skidded to halt before the counter, dry heaving. “This proves it! It’s exactly what I heard from the others!” His voice was weaker now, his words stuttered out between gags.

Roderich and Gilbert stood in the doorway, sharing looks. Each was challenging the other to extrapolate themselves from this mess. What was there to say or do? While both were skilled at manipulating others to do their bidding or to go along with their schemes, there was no way to trick Roland into disbelieving his own eyes and nose. It would require something more creative, but both were at a loss.

Roderich dared to try first, stepping into the room. To his surprise, he had grown adjusted to the stink enough to hardly notice it. “Roland, please, you’re hurrying to all sorts of unfounded conclusions. Why not provide us with a moment to explain ourselves? You forget how reasonable we are.” Part of him was weirded out by how implicitly complimentary he was speaking of Gilbert. The pragmatic half of him, the one currently controlling his actions, couldn’t be bothered to care. There was the more important matter of appearances and reputation; any rivalry was secondary to that.

“Reasonable? You both lost any claim to that when you dug up a grave to work some sort of devil’s magic! Things that are dead should stay dead. Though you’ve never been one to understand that, haven’t you, Roderich?” Roland sneered at him with a look in his eyes conveying how little he thought of both men before him.

The bitterness stung, melting any of Roderich’s faux politeness away. His fingers twitched, wanting to smack the self-righteous look off Roland’s face. “And yet I’m not the one barging into your home, telling you that which you can and cannot do. Seems like only one of us has moved on from things better left in the past, while the other is still hurt over how easily replaceable he was.” He grinned, seeing that his words hit their intended mark. “What we do should be of no concern to you, being the neutral party and all. Really, what claim do you have in our affairs when you constantly refuse to help either of us? You have no thoughts when we’re trying to destroy one another, but, now that we’re working towards the same goal, that’s what you find objectionable? You truly defy all logic.”

Roland ground his teeth together, trying and failing to keep from exploding. “Why would I care when you two are out killing each other? If one of you fades away, that’d be a blessing to us all. Maybe this part of Europe could catch a break from the constant warfare if one of you is pacified! But this? Oh, this is beyond belief!” He began pacing, needing to get his excess energy out in a way that didn’t end in a brawl. “This is an act against creation! A sin if there ever were one! Our kind may have incredible powers, but they’re meant to protect our people and not engage in something like this, something so sinister!”

“Roland, you’re really going to throw around charges like this? Our very existence is a sin. We shouldn’t exist by all accounts and yet-” Gilbert dramatically waved his left hand around, strolling into the room. “here we are. What would you say is the worst sin: taking life so freely as we do, slaughtering many in wars for our own power grabs, or giving back life to what is dead, reviving what is still?” He spoke with the passion of a former zealot. These were questions he’d grappled with while serving as the Teutonic Knights, questions that hadn’t left him since. A mischievous glint appeared his eyes and he smiled, belying that he already knew the answer. “The sin is always in taking and salvation is found in giving. Our work here should be admirable, even if isn’t the most traditional route.”

“Cut with the choir boy shit! I’m not one of the pagans you can spout a bunch of garbage off to and convert. Have a little respect for my intelligence, Gilbert. You and I both know you’re trying to play God here and it’s sickening! Karl was a failed experiment with a body too frail for this life. It’s cruelty to subject another person to that kind of torment.” He laughed, cold and harsh. “Who am I kidding? As if either of you care what kind of life it lives. This only makes your ambitions more obvious.”

Gilbert flicked his wrist, batting Roland’s words aside. “Who’s to say we’re not as close to gods as you can get? Think of it, we all have limitless power and can’t be destroyed except by our own hands. Neither of you can stand here and pretend like you didn’t try praying to whichever god we’re told to believe in, desperate to find the meaning of this existence, only to find no answer in response. Maybe you weren’t, but I was forced to walk through fire too many times to where I can still feel the rope around my wrists. And still I look like the devil, as if God’s cures don’t work and His laws were written by men. If we’re not gods then we must be monsters and, either way, that gives us free reign to act as we please.” He realized he was speaking with too much honesty, felt the surprised eyes boring into his skin, and cleared his throat. He smiled, changing tones with a speed that could cause whiplash. “I thought you couldn’t stand Karl, what’s with the sudden concern? If all this goes right, his body should be good as new, nothing to worry about. He’ll be healthier than the last kid and with enough strength that all of Europe will be listening to us.”

“‘Us?’ You two plan to share him?” Roland snorted. “As if that will last. I shouldn’t be so worried. Both of you will have destroyed him as soon as he’s breathing.” He shot them both a glare. “I don’t have to like someone to do what is right. No one should treat anyone’s body with such disregard, especially one who has no say in the matter.”

“Ah, so it’s about consent? Well, let’s ask him!” Gilbert moved to the counter, standing over Holy Rome’s corpse. “Karl, do you mind if we use your body for Germany’s? What was that?” He leaned down low, meeting Roland’s gaze with ferocity and manic energy. “Right! It doesn’t matter because he’s dead!”

It was a grim joke, one that belied his soldier’s sense of humor and one no one else found funny. Roderich wrinkled his nose. “Gilbert, don’t be so crass. That’s distasteful.” He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. This conversation was going nowhere, both sides remained firmly entrenched in their beliefs. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted.

Erzsébet burst into the room, a wide smile across her face. She was unfazed by the stench of decay, grown too used to it on the fields of battle and revolt. She set her bag down, removing its contents. “Really, Roderich, there was no need to send me out so late. I understand that we must be cautious, but this is a bit much.” She smiled sweetly at Gilbert, who was standing in her line of sight. “Gil, what’s with the look on your face? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.” She laughed at her own lame joke, before following the Gilbert and Roderich’s gaze. She froze at the sight of Roland, who looked ready to snap again. “Ah, fuck.”

She barely finished speaking before Roland was carrying on again. “I should’ve known. Even your little whore is in on it too. Anything to follow them to the ends of the earth, right Erzsébet? And you’re supposed to be the moral center.” He had never liked her, for reasons Erzsébet was clueless on, but this was much crueler than his usual treatment towards her. “Grow a spine, dammit. I thought even you could see how wrong this is, but I guess I thought too highly of you. Do none of you really care what the others will think once they find out?”

“Roland, you realize you’re the only one with any objections, right? Did neither of them tell you that they spoke with Saxony and Bavaria about this, that this isn’t what you’re thinking.” She looked between Austria and Prussia. “You two really didn’t? I forget how helpless you both are.”

Prussia seized upon this, appreciating where she was leading them. “We probably should have mentioned this earlier, but we do have the go ahead from everyone. A lot of our people are desperate for Germany of some kind. The four of us agreed it would be in our best interest if we, at least, got a body ready.” He laughed, relaxing considerably now that things appeared to be going their way. “It’s been so long since we had a kid in the family, it was getting stale with all the same faces.”

“That’s it? The four of you decide everything for this family? No one else has any say?” Roland tried to suppress his hurt feelings, desperately not wanting his upset to be on display. And he would’ve as the changes were barely perceptible. But Roderich knew him too well, knew exactly what it meant when Roland couldn’t maintain eye contact, when he began chewing at his bottom lip, when his hands rolled and re-rolled into fists.

Roderich intended to capitalize. With cool detachment, he smiled. “You know Gilbert, he speaks in generalizations. We did speak to others, some of the lesser states. If he truly is to represent Germany, then his birth must be through a method we all agree on. And, astonishingly, there were no qualms with our idea so long as it was us who got our hands dirty. Which is fair since it will be through our might alone that things will coalesce, but that’s at a later time. As for the present, why we didn’t speak to you is simple.” His smile widened and he paused a beat, relishing it. “You’re not our family. You lost the privilege to be consulted on these matters when you left us. No harsh feelings, of course.”

His words had their intended effect. Roland stiffened up, his eyes becoming distant to separate himself from the conversation. He looked to Gilbert and Erzsébet and, finding no allies in either of them, turned his attention to the wall. “Of course,” he grumbled bitterly. Recovering slightly, he tried to regain some mojo, but found much of it lost. “And you, Erzsébet. Why do you go along with this?” He needed to believe he wasn’t the only sane man left standing, that she had some wits about her.

She was caught off guard by him suddenly using her name. He normally only referred to her in derogatory terms, never had he been so respectful. Her surprise led her straight into honesty. “What else am I to do? What say do I have in all this? I had no love for Karl, but if he can be repurposed then what’s stopping us? Besides, perhaps having a kid around again will give me something to do if I’m not allowed to live in Budapest.” She shared a tense look with Roderich, conveying arguments Roland wasn’t privy to. He was unsurprised to see Gilbert’s quick look of contempt towards Roderich, but wondered what else he had missed while attempting to float above the fray.

He was big enough to admit defeat. He sighed, frustrated by the outcome. But what was there to do when the world was aligned against him? Maybe he was the one with the lopsided morals and that playing with dark forces was now acceptable. He found that, if that were the case, he’d rather sequester himself in the Alps away from the rest of the world rather than try to engage it. “I see how it is then. Fine, have it your way.” He gave one final disgusted glance at the corpse, before turning on his heel. “There’s nothing left for me here. Hasn’t been in years.”

“Allow me to escort you out,” Roderich offered more out of habit than genuine kindness.

Once they had left, Gilbert and Erzsébet began preparing everything, unpacking what she had brought and assembling all their tools. Lavender burned in the center of the room, purifying the area. Gilbert lifted the needle from the moon water, threading it carefully. Roderich returned, taking his place besides Erzsébet. Gilbert grinned at them, adrenaline pumping through his veins. “Let’s get ourselves a son.”

#aph prussia #hws prussia #aph austria #hws austria #aph hungary #hws hungary #aph switzerland #hws switzerland #hetalia fanfic #hetalia fanfiction #aph fanfic #aph fanfiction #hws fanfic #hws fanfiction #its left intentionally ambiguous on what destroyed the swissaus personal relationship #if you interpret as a romantic/familial/paternal falling out then youre correct #whatever it is to you is right #but he is jealous of erzsi seemingly taking his place - regardless of the validity of that belief

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

Text

Renewal

Characters: Prussia, Austria; mentioned Germany and Russia

Summary: After the fall of the Berlin Wall, Roderich invited Gilbert to Vienna in an attempt to clear the other man's mind and provide him with an opportunity to get outside. They catch up, knocking the rust off their strange relationship after not seeing each other for years.

Vienna, 1989.

Gilbert looked around, shifting in his seat nervously and absentmindedly folding and re-folding the sleeves on his shirt. How he loathed Vienna, loathed it and this ridiculous castle. Roderich’s tastes had always been too luxurious for his liking, the home decorated to be an ostentatious display of wealth and filled with antique furniture. It made him so uncomfortable, afraid that he might sneeze and be forced into debt to repay the cost of whatever he ruined.

His host returned, placing two wine glasses down before them. "Why so anxious?" Roderich didn't have to be focused on Gilbert to feel the wave of unease rolling of him. It also didn't help that he could hear the incessant tapping of Gilbert's foot, a nervous habit he'd had for years. "I would've expected you to be relieved to be out of your own country. Are we no longer good enough for you here?" His voice lilted up at the end of the sentence, gently teasing his guest.

"I hate this city. The people here have always been so snobbish. Your home looks like a poor man's idea of a rich man. It always has, it's excessive." Prussia waved a hand in a noncommittal way. "It's....everything's a lot."

As he took a long sip of his wine, Austria sighed. "Are you done?" The Prussian nodded. "I figured it would be nice for you to travel again, now that you could. I didn't think me rushing to Berlin would do you any good. You need to see what you missed of the world." It was his roundabout way of saying it meant a lot that Gilbert would visit him first.

"It's strange though. When you're in a cage for so long, you get used to it. In a certain way it even becomes comforting. The isolation almost becomes welcome or that you feel you deserved it." Prussia's eyes were burning with an indescribable emotion when they locked with Austria's. There was a flesh of desperation in them, gone as quickly as it appeared. "I can't help feeling that, in some way, I deserved it for everything. Monsters belong to be imprisoned."

That broke something in Roderich. He felt his heart throb with sympathy. He forced himself to keep the eye contact, despite wanting to look away in fear of giving away too much. "You're not a monster. And if you are, then so am I." He smiled faintly, trying to make them both feel better in vain. "All you've ever been is a bit boorish, but that's not a criminal offense."

They drank in silence. Both had been more vulnerable with the other than they'd wished. It was still too new, viewing each other as confidants and uneasy friends instead of the enemy. It felt even worse to consider them on opposing sides now, not after they'd shared so much and fought against much worse. How could they think of each other as evil when they finally knew what true evil was? It would feel like a dismissal of everything. No, they'd have to learn to get used to rhythms of this new stage in their relationship and whatever it would bring.

Roderich passively observed Gilbert. He'd never seen the man so unsure of himself. Normally Gilbert's ego suffocated the whole room. He moved in a way that commanded attention, that challenged the world to consent to his will or face the consequences of disobedience. This was not the same man. His emotions were impossible to decipher, walled off in a place deep within. His eyes kept darting around as if he was searching for the nearest escape.

Gilbert reached for his glass of wine. Roderich snatched his wrist midair. "My God, Gilbert. What happened?" Scars crisscrossed Gilbert's skin. Most appeared to finally be disappearing for good, but many remained.

"Relax, I didn't cause them." Gilbert jerked his hand away, hiding it beneath the table. "It's nothing for you to be concerned about. It's better I took a few more beatings than the others." He gave a toothy smile, trying to bring some normalcy to everything. "You're the one who said it's always what I've been good for."

A dark emotion passed across Roderich's face. A sickly feeling crept into his stomach. "I may have said so, but I never acted on it in such a way." It wasn't unusual for him to be so furious in Gilbert's presence, but it was for it to be on Gilbert's behalf. "What a barbarian. Where's the humanity? To act with such cruel disregard for other's and their sufferings? What a big man, I'm trembling." He scoffed. "To think he was the boogeyman we were all so terrified of for all these years. To be so fearful of a coward is dishonorable."

Such strong sentiments were shocking. For once in his life, Gilbert didn't know quite what to say. Unworthiness overwhelmed him. He bowed his head, staring at his hands as they played with the lace ends of the tablecloth. "You don't have to pretend to care so much. I appreciate the invitation enough as it is. Save me your mock outrage."

"You think I'm pretending?"

"Did I stutter?" It was the most Gilbert-esque thing he'd said all day. In any other conversation, it would've been a revelation.

Roderich rubbed the bridge of his nose, exhaling loudly. How to get it through such a thick skull? "I understand that our relationship hasn't always been on the best of terms, to put it incredibly mildly. But you have to be a bigger idiot than I ever thought possible to not realize my feelings on you have changed." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Really, Gilbert, actually think about this. After my divorce, against every possible logical expectation, you were the only one to check on me. Not only once, you made a point of visiting every month to harass me and give me some semblance of normalcy. And you never mentioned whatever it was you were doing with Erzsébet! It was the most oddly comforting thing and, to my horror, I began looking forward to seeing you." He rolled his eyes. "Let's not even mention the last war. We were thick as thieves then, running off and getting into whatever mischief was necessary."

"You only worked with me then because you had to." Gilbert remained glum, but didn’t dare to look at Roderich squarely to prevent being proved wrong.

"Oh, please. Bavaria and Saxony shot down our offer, I could've done the same to you had I wanted to. But I didn't because I trusted your judgement and wanted in on your little scheme. And I don't regret that to this day, regardless of whatever the personal costs may have been." Roderich smiled and it reached his eyes. "Whenever I had the misfortune of meeting Iv-Russia," he stopped himself, refusing to use Russia's personal name out of principle. "I would hound him by constantly asking after you. How you're doing, were you holding up well, urging him to pass on messages to you from Ludwig and me. I would do the same on Erzsébet's behalf, but you were the focus. I had visions of you trying to be her savior and winding up in an even worse position."

Gilbert bit his lip, wearing an incredibly guilty look. "How did you guess?"

“Because I know you! Every time we'd sign a new treaty or agreement, you'd be begging me to make her life better. It got to the point where I was telling my advisors to throw in an expansion of Hungarian rights before we even began negotiations.” Roderich rolled his eyes. “You expect me to believe that behavior would've ceased, especially under rulers with a much crueler bent? Though I appreciate that it must surely make my monarchs look so kindly and benevolent.”

There was no point in even touching that last part. Especially when Austria would have ample examples of Hohenzollern excesses to throw in Prussia's face. Instead, he focused on how touched he felt over everything. Things really had changed for them, the tables had turned so completely. A warmth spread throughout Gilbert's chest. “I had no idea you asked about me.”

“I suspected you didn't. I have no idea why Russia would be so reluctant to pass on anything to you two. We weren't trying to spread Western propaganda, or whatever he would be concerned for. The only goal was to let you both know your family still loved and missed you gravely.”

“He wanted us to be one big, happy family. To do that, for some fucked up reason, he felt like he had to constantly tell us that no one on the outside cared in order to break us down. It really got to those who only had friends on the inside regardless of whatever Erzsi or I said to them.” Gilbert shrugged, nonchalantly. Out of everything that happened behind the wall, this facet concerned him least. Its effects on him had been minimal. He couldn't believe Ludwig, no matter the bad terms they parted on, would disown Gilbert and leave him to the wolves. The kid had always been loyal to a fault. “Wait, you missed me? And consider me family?”

The vein in Roderich's forehead began throbbing. “Why is this so difficult for you to understand?’ Grumbling, he hurried off and returned with a pen and piece of paper. “I'm going to make this very simple and I'm going to speak slowly so you understand. Look me in the eyes, if you misunderstand a word of this, I'm going to hit you." Once they made eye contact, Roderich continued. “Our relationship has changed, meaning things are different now. I regard you, Gilbert, as not only one of my closest friends, but as family. And not merely the most distant of cousins either, close family, the type of family you wish to spend time around and worry for when appropriate.” He quickly wrote something on the paper before sliding it over the table. "Here. Try carrying this around with you in case you forget again."

Gilbert picked it up. It read ‚Roderich und ich sind Familie.’ He folded it and tucked it into his wallet, unable to stop himself from smiling. Perhaps his existence wasn’t so pointless, perhaps there was some meaning to be gleaned from his life. "You're actually a good guy. A really good guy. I wish I'd realized it sooner." His heart felt so full it could burst.

It was Roderich's turn to be caught off-guard. He looked away, studying the Schwind that hung on the opposite wall. “‘Good’ is not a classification I would accept so willingly. At the risk of sounding too Catholic even for myself, we've all committed sin. I'm simply trying to learn from mine, even if it's a bit late in some cases.” His lips turned the slightest bit upward. “But I do appreciate the compliment.”

"You realized it sooner than everyone else we know." Gilbert sipped his wine, needing something to do with his hands. "Don't be so hard on yourself. That has to count for something." A coy smile slipped through. "Besides, I know you hid people in your homes throughout the war. You shouldn't look so surprised; you were always asking me to help you stock up on food and clothes and you suddenly had new servants here. What other explanation could there have been?"

Despite all the time that had passed, the acknowledgement of his deed caused Roderich's heart to race. The instinctual fear at getting caught took over, regardless of there being an absence of authorities who would arrest him for it. "Well, I knew many of the upcoming Viennese artists and musicians then. It seemed...such a waste of incredible talent and life." He paused, the memories coming in vivid technicolor. "Anyone would've done the same."

"You know that's not true."

There was a point there. "I wanted to at least sound humble, regardless of whether it reflected reality accurately." He folded his hands in his lap. This was something he'd never discussed before; it was a secret he'd kept close to his heart first out of a survival instinct and later out of a desire to not be viewed in a heroic light. "You yourself noted how my last name could be perceived, as had various Jewish communities here. Over the years I'd warmed up to them and begun to count many of them as friends, those especially who easily shrugged off or accepted the nature of our existence. To turn on them in their greatest hour of need seemed to me to be beyond reprehensible. I had grown close to many of them, been invited into their homes, to witness their births, deaths, and marriages. You'll understand more than anyone else that, for my own peace of mind, I had to do what was right."

Gilbert had listened in silence. The coy little smirk never left his face. “The ice king does have a heart.” At Roderich's bewildered expression, Gilbert barked out a laugh. “Relax! I'm only kidding! You're looking at me as if I just shot your dog!” He wiped a wayward tear out the corner of his eye. “What can I say? I'm not surprised by any of this. Despite your best efforts, you're not heartless. A couple centuries ago, I could see you ignoring everything and letting the chips fall where they may, but not now. You figured out that having a little humanity isn't so bad.”

Now, that was insulting. Roderich harrumphed. “You say it’s a joke, but must you make me sound like a being incapable of the most basic of emotions?” He folded his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes in the process. Oddly enough, the prickle of irritation felt comforting. Over Gilbert’s long absence, Roderich had naturally felt annoyed at others plenty of times. But being aggrieved over America’s brashness or Arthur’s arrogance or Francis’ smugness didn’t feel quite the same. Being irritated at Gilbert came as easily as breathing air, felt like the comfort of sheets against you at night. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it till this very moment.

Apparently, his face was giving it away. “What are you staring at me like that for?” Gilbert’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Did I suddenly grow a third eye or something?”

“‘Or something’ for sure.” The corners of Roderich’s lips softened into an easy smile. “It’s nice to have you home, that’s all. It seems I really did miss you.”

Gilbert grinned, his most natural one yet of the evening. “I’m back forever now. There’s no more getting rid of me. From now on, you’ll be stuck with me till the end of eternity.”

“Threatening me so soon?” Roderich brought his wine glass to his lips, smiling. Against all odds, he was looking forward to the rest of eternity.

#aph prussia #aph austria #hws prussia #hws austria #hetalia #Axis Powers Hetalia #hetalia fanfic #hetalia fanfiction #hws fanfiction #aph fanfiction #hws fanfic #aph fanfic

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

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you guys ever get tired of how only arthur and francis and ivan and alfred get to ruthlessly battle each other? i sure am. here’s 3 chapters of gilbert and roderich getting in on the fun ;)

#hetalia fanfic

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

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For the Love of a Father

Ships: PruHun

Characters: Hungary, Prussia, Germany; Austria

Summary: Hungary travels to Berlin to spend the weekend with Prussia and a young Germany. Due to silly misunderstandings and mortal assumptions, Gilbert convinces everyone to pretend that he and Erzsébet are married and Ludwig is their son. But there's only one question: why is he so eager for this charade?

Berlin, 1865.

The house was a warzone when Erzsébet arrived. Toy soldiers had taken over every corner of the living room, lined up in their formations. She lifted her skirts up and gingerly tip-toed around the rearguard. “Gil? Are you here?”

Before she had time to process further what was occurring, she felt a pair of tiny arms wrap around her waist. “Erzsi!” Ludwig stared up at her, a grin stretched wide across his face. “Are you the reinforcements we asked for?”

She hoisted him up into her arms. “That depends. Who are we fighting?”

“We’re invading Bohemia. Traun finally engaged us. The battle should be over in another hour due to our infantry’s superiority.”

As Ludwig spoke, Gilbert had managed to make his way over to them. Erzsébet shot him a look. “You’re still hung up on Bohemia?” She shook her head at his sheepish expression. She studied the battle occurring on the floor. “You’ve got a spot wide open for my hussars to swoop in on your left flank. It would be so easy to ride in and scatter your whole army.” She winked at Gilbert. “Better work on that calvary again.”

“Lud, go clean them up.” Once Ludwig had scampered off, Gilbert crossed his arms. “That was very rude, I’ll have you know. We were on the cusp of victory and losing that battle might dissolve the whole coalition.”

“It’s your fault for deciding today would be the day to fight Austria. Sorry for wanting my side to win. Next time I’ll throw the whole damn thing for you.” She gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Cheer up. It’s not like I took back Silesia.”

“If you had, then we would have a problem on our hands.” He hoisted up her bag, bringing it further into the home. “I meant to mention this to you earlier, but today’s not going to be too exciting. Some kid refuses to stop growing so I have to get him some new clothes.” Gilbert nodded to one of his servants, who took the bag off his hands. “The kid wants to make a whole day out of it, so I really hope you don’t mind too much. Tomorrow can be for us.”

He was beginning to ramble. “Oh dear me, spending the whole day with you and Ludwig. How ever will I cope with such a thing?” Erzsébet rolled her eyes. “You realize that I care about Ludwig, right? I come here to spend time with both of you. It’ll be a lovely day.” She leaned in for a kiss.

“Can we go now?” Ludwig scrunched up his nose. “Do you two always have to be doing that in front of me? Is this why Roderich gets so upset by it? It really is disgusting.” He paused, something formulating in his mind. “Is he going to be mad about this again the next time I see him?”

Gilbert and Erzsébet shared a look. He began hustling Ludwig out the door, not wanting to hear any more of this from the damn child of all people. “You’re asking too many questions again.”

---

As Ludwig’s measurements were being taken by the seamstress, Erzsébet wandered around the store. Some of the dresses they had on display were quite stunning. She found herself drawn to a few of them. She visited often enough, what harm would there be in placing an order and having Gilbert pick it up for her?

“Don’t you think you have enough? I doubt you have the closet space at this point.” Gilbert snuck up on her, sliding his arm around her waist. He appraised the dress she was eyeing out. “You have one that looks like this already.”

“Not in this color!” She nudged him with her elbow. “Wouldn’t it be good for me to build up a wardrobe here? It would be easier on me.”

There was an argument he couldn’t counter. It didn’t hurt that she was smiling up at him, her eyes filled to the brim with affection. She always pulled this trick on him and it never failed to work. “You’ll look gorgeous in it.”

“Gilbert!” A middle-aged woman appeared from behind the counter, waddling over to them. “Back again so soon? Why, you were just here the other week!”

“Frau Scholz, it’s good to see you again.” Gilbert sighed dramatically. “I know, it’s incredible. The boy keeps on growing and he refuses to stop. I’m starting to think he’s doing it just to spite me.”

“I’m surprised he doesn’t take more after you. When we were children, it took you so long to ever get a growth spurt.” Erzsébet snickered. “I thought you would’ve stayed tiny forever.”

Before Gilbert could fire back his own remark, Frau Scholz had jumped in. “Is this your wife? How have I never met her before? And so beautiful too!”

That threw both of them for a loop. A blush bloomed across Erzsébet’s cheeks. She was suddenly very aware of where his arm was. She opened her mouth to correct the seamstress.

“Isn’t she stunning? Not a day passes where I don’t wonder how I ever got to be so lucky. How many years have we been married now? Doesn’t matter, I should’ve brought her over sooner. But she’s so busy! Aren’t you, Liebling?” His eyes met hers. He was silently begging her to go along with the act.

“Doesn’t matter? Not when these past nine have been the best of my life.” She laughed softly, leaning into him. Where was the harm in going all in on the act? “Yes, my father’s fallen ill and there’s no other children to care for him. That explains my absences, I hope you’ll forgive us both.”

Whatever hurt was there completely disappeared. Frau Scholz took Erzsébet’s hand in hers. “Sweetie, there’s no reason to apologize for that. Family comes first, I understand. I have some more work to attend to, but all the best to your father. And, when you have the time, please don’t be a stranger.” She disappeared from back which she came.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow at her in surprise. “Going straight to the dying father? Way to pull the sympathy card.”

Erzsébet scoffed. “I needed to give her an acceptable reason for why your wife hasn’t tagged along before. You were too ready for that. It’s almost suspicious, Gil.” She watched him out the corner of her eye.

He made no effort to hide his happiness. “You really think I could’ve planned for that? You’re giving me too much credit.” He gently bumped her with his hip. “Have some fun with it. We can play married for a day. Now you’ll have a husband you actually love. Besides, you’re the one who’s still wearing her wedding ring. What do you want me to tell people? That I’m your mistress?”

There was a good point there. Did it really matter anyways? She doubted that anyone from Vienna would be here and, if they were, would they really be surprised? How she spent her weekends was hardly secret. The escapism of pretending to live another life would be enjoyable. Still, there was one thing nagging at the back of her mind. “Where does that leave Roderich in this little fantasy?”

Gilbert’s smile was ferocious. “Easy. He officiated for us.” Ludwig meandered about, looking round for them. “You all set, kid? Let’s go get lunch.”

The walk to the restaurant was short as it laid only three stores down. It was fairly casual, with different classes of families seated throughout, and unsurprisingly bustling for a Friday afternoon. They took a spot in the corner of the room, the farthest they could get from the other patrons.

Ludwig’s legs were swinging furiously beneath the table. He was passionately filling Erzsébet in on the details of his life since he’d seen her a month ago. “Gilbert’s been trying to teach me to play the flute! It’s weird though, I don’t like how you have to hold it.” Spotting a schnauzer outside the window, he perked up considerably. “I really want a dog. Gilbert won’t let me get one. Can you convince him? Please, Erzsi, he always listens to you.”

She shrugged. What did she have to lose? “Gil, will you please get him a dog? Look at how pathetic he is.” She leaned over the table, stage-whispering advice to Ludwig. “Pout a little bit. That always works.” Ludwig faithfully obeyed. He even batted his eyes for good measure.

Despite knowing what was coming, Gilbert felt his heartstrings tug. An internal debate warred within him. “We’re not getting a dog.” It was important for him to keep his resolve. He gave in to too much as it was, he needed to pretend to be assertive towards them every now and then. “I don’t want to be the one responsible for the damn thing.”

“You won’t be! I’ll take care of him! Besides, aren’t you the one who’s always saying I need to learn responsibility? There’s no better way to teach me!” Ludwig had his whole argument prepared. He had been getting ready for this moment the whole week, confident that between his rational arguments and Erzsébet’s strange powers that Gilbert would change his mind.

Right when he was ready to begin it, the waiter appeared. The waiter performed the usual introduction before having his attentions settle on Ludwig. “What an adorable little boy! How old might you be?”

Met with a social interaction he hadn’t prepared for, Ludwig panicked. “Ah-I don’t know, I think I’m close to thirty now.” He looked across the table at the adults, silently begging them for intervention.

Gilbert laughed heartily. “Kid thinks he’s thirty. Drives us both crazy. You know how eight-year olds are.”

“Well, no matter what it is, your son is adorable. Now, are you all ready to order?” After fulfilling his purpose, they were left alone again.

Ludwig turned his sights on Gilbert immediately. “Your son? We’re brothers! Why didn’t you correct him?” His blue eyes were sparkling with intense curiosity.

It was Gilbert’s turn to be caught off-guard. He stumbled with the question in his mind, trying to gather his bearings and create a sufficient enough answer. “People treat us better if they think you’re our kid. Humans have a difficult time comprehending our real ages and relationships. It’s easier to go along with whatever they think.” Proud of his response, he leaned back and smirked. “So, for today, Erzsi and I are married and you’re our son. Start calling us Mutti and Vatti.”

Erzsébet rolled her eyes. “I am not a Mutti. If we’re doing this, call me Anya. Motherhood sounds so much nicer in my language.”

“Whatever you want, Anya.” Ludwig tested it out. Oddly enough, it didn’t feel unnatural to refer to her in such a way. Why did it feel so easy, as if it was what he was meant to do all along? Examining those emotions seemed beyond his realm of experience. He filed them away, where they could be examined at a later time. He appraised Gilbert, who was staring at him with what appeared to be eagerness. Why was that? Never mind that, if he was so eager maybe Ludwig could use that to his advantage. He scrunched up his nose. “What do I get for following along? For you it’s difficult. You’re not exactly fatherly.”

Unbeknownst to Ludwig, Erzsébet comfortingly rubbed Gilbert’s thigh. That remark knocked the wind out of him. He knew exactly what the kid wanted. There was no mystery to what he was angling for, some discreet strategy that needed to be deciphered. “I’ll get you the damn dog.” There were times for being firm and this was not one of those times.

“You’re the best, Vatti!” His wish finally being fulfilled, Ludwig broke into a long debate on the merits of each breed he found most attractive. He’d meticulously researched the habits of each and how they would integrate fully into their household. He’d had this planned and memorized for months, waiting for the day when Gilbert’s will finally broke.

He spoke unceasingly on the topic all through lunch. It continued even when they entered the park, only interrupted by Erzsébet gently cutting in. “Look, kicsim, there’s a whole group of kids over there. Why don’t you go see what they’re up to?” She gently nudged him along before he had any chance to protest.

“Couldn’t handle any more?” Gilbert slipped his hand in hers. They began walking along the path. Other couples, lost in their own worlds, passed them by.

“Absolutely not.” It was a lovely day out. A light breeze was blowing, making it cooler than it would be otherwise. It was no wonder why so many people were out today. Out the corner of her eye, she watched Gilbert. He was humming softly to himself, a content little smile inching up the corners of his mouth. She tried to recall a time when she saw him this at peace. She couldn’t. “You’re too happy.”

“Hm?” He had been lost in his thoughts. It took him a moment to process what she said. When he did, he chuckled. “Why wouldn’t I be? I’m having a wonderful day with my son and my wife, who I love so dearly.” His smile widened. “God, I love saying that. Doesn’t it just sound so natural?”

Now his giddiness made sense. “Calm down, no one can hear us. You don’t have to keep the act up.” If she was being honest with herself, something she was loath to do, it did have a nice ring to it coming from him.

He nudged her with his elbow. “I don’t care if anyone can hear us, let me have my fantasies for today.” Said fantasies were racing through his mind. “The kids young enough, he could get used to this. I think we’d be fine if we settled down, had a few children of our own. They’d give me a plum job in the military or for the king as thanks for my years of service. The higher up you are, the less work you have to do. We’d be able to do whatever we wanted.”

She sighed, listening to him prattle on. This seemed too thought out to only be a whim. If she squinted, she could easily see the life he’d envisioned. It was almost tempting. “What a lovely life you have planned. We would never be satisfied. It’s too quaint for either of us.” She gently rubbed his right forearm. “Though, in another lifetime, I think I would enjoy that one.”

“Why can’t we have it in this one? Don’t be so pessimistic.” The look she shot him caused him to roll his eyes. “We could get away with it if we wanted.”

How to explain to him that ‘want’ wasn’t the issue? Hungary considered her words carefully. “Fine, say we do this. How do you think Roderich will react? I don’t think he’d take too kindly to our little scheme. He would be hard-pressed to convince his ministers to declare war or have legal recourse to continue seeing Ludwig, but that only spares you. What of my people?” She kicked the unfortunate pebble standing before her. “It wouldn’t be out of character for him to seek retribution against them. For the first time, I would be powerless to do anything about it.”

That certainly painted the whole idea in a much bleaker light. What she brought up was the truth; he had nothing to argue against it. Gilbert sighed. “I suppose you’re right.”

She kissed his cheek. “Don’t be so glum. Tonight, reality can be damned. I’m yours until midnight, kincsem.” A mischievous glint flashed in her eyes. “Or, if you prefer, we can keep up this act for the rest of the weekend. You make a fine husband.”

Her words appeared to have their desired effect. He was in high spirits once more with a spring in his step. “There’s no harm in us continuing our little fun.” Ludwig meandered over to them, appearing worn out. “You ready to head home, Lud?” The boy weakly nodded his head. “Alright, come on. You’re not walking in that shape.” Gilbert hoisted him up onto his back. It wasn’t long before Ludwig was gently snoring into his shoulder.

The sight caused a warmth to spread from Erzsébet’s chest outwards. “You’re adorable.” For her comment, Gilbert winked at her.

The walk home didn’t take too long. The park was only a block away. Unlocking the door presented an unexpected challenge. He sighed, not wanting to bounce Ludwig around and risk waking him up. “Can you take the key out?” Erzsébet began digging around in his front pocket. Her hand took hold and his face turned a brilliant scarlet. “That’s not my key.”

“I know.” His blush deepened as she threw open the door. That could be dealt with later, his primary focus now was on tucking Ludwig in. He was pleasantly surprised to hear Erzsébet following him to Ludwig’s room.

Once underneath the covers, Ludwig wiggled around to get comfortable. Gilbert’s heart lurched. He was like an adorable little worm. “G’night Vatti, Anya.” The words were murmured through sheets, but they seemed so loud to Gilbert. His heart felt ready to explode.

He floated out of the room, never feeling so much joy in his life. He collapsed onto the sofa, clutching a hand to his chest. A dream he had been fulfilled. Erzsébet took the space besides him and he moved so his head was in her lap. Gazing up, he could see how the corners of her mouth lifted up.

“How long had you been waiting for this?” She twirled strands of his hair around her fingers.

“You know that’s a complicated question.”

“I can handle a complicated answer.” She chuckled softly. “It’s me, remember? I can manage your honesty.”

He sighed, wistful. “I think I’d been waiting for that longer than I realized. You think I could convince him to go along with that from now on? How difficult could it be?” The hope in his voice felt pathetic, but he found it impossible to suppress. His body was thrumming.

“Ah, so he’s not a puppet to you anymore?” Erzsébet closed her eyes, considering her words carefully. Honesty was needed, but it didn’t have to be cruel. “I think you should’ve been upfront with him from the beginning. Then you could have avoided this mess in the first place.”

“You know that wasn’t an option.” Gilbert knew she was being reasonable. He pointedly averted his eyes from her, lasering in on an old painting of an ancient battle on the wall. “For my sake, it couldn’t have been. It’s easier to manipulate a sibling instead of a son.”

She rolled her eyes. “So I’ve gathered from watching you and Roderich at work.” She raised a hand, silencing his objections. “It’s not a criticism. Purely an observation, don’t be so defensive.” She shook her head. “I’m not surprised you don’t see him as a puppet anymore. I didn’t believe you or Roderich when either of you tried explaining that to me. When did that change?”

When had it? A series of images flashed to mind – waking up to find a small body snuggled into his bed; blue eyes staring at him with awe as he regaled him with bygone victories; little feet scampering after him, wanting to keep up. “I don’t know. It just kind of…happened. Ludwig, he’s a good kid.” He paused. “Why aren’t you more surprised?”

“Because I know you, Gil. Maybe you can fool the rest of the world that you’ve evolved beyond a desire for personal connection, but you could never fool me.” Despite teasing him, her tone was incredibly loving. “Ludwig idolizes you, he thinks you’re the savior of the world. How could that cause you to not admit the truth to yourself? For your sake, I wish you’d done so sooner.”

“And why’s that?” He knew her answer, but he hoped he would be wrong.

“You can’t tell him one thing than tell him another. He’s smarter than that, he’ll have too many questions. Questions that I doubt you’re ready to answer.” His silence confirmed her suspicions. She smiled sadly. “Keeping him at a distance was always going to be futile. I tried telling you that, but you didn’t want to listen. Neither of you did.”

“You can’t blame me for not realizing that this is what I wanted.” It sounded so weak and uncompelling, even to his own ears. He exhaled loudly through his nose. “I made the right decision though?” Gilbert’s eyes finally met hers. He needed her to lie to him, just this once.

“I can’t decide that for you.” Erzsébet leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you made the wrong one.”

“But you think there was a better one.”

A genuine smile broke free across her face. “Don’t I always think that about whatever you do?” She laughed, the action feeling much needed. “Don’t be so glum. Seeing you so serious isn’t natural.” He could only muster up the faintest of smiles. “That wasn’t convincing, but I’ll take it.” She rose, stretching.

His eyes settled on her, having no where else to be. “Where are you going?”

“To have a little rest. In my excitement to see you both, I woke up much too early.” She extended her hand to him. “Will my husband be joining me?”

So she was still continuing with their little charade? Gilbert smiled, this time one unfeigned. “Maybe later. You go ahead. I may catch up with you.” Once alone, he rolled to face the ceiling. There were no answers up there, but he wished they would appear. It was too soon in Ludwig’s, in Germany’s, life for Gilbert to be having such regrets. He chided himself for his foolishness.

“I’m doing the right thing.” He whispered it to himself like a prayer. He would convince himself of this, any doubts remaining would have to be eradicated. There was no question that this was what’s right.

At least, it had to be. For his sanity.

#it's a cute lighthearted story #not meant to be taken /too/ seriously #we all need a little fluff every now and then #aph prussia #hws prussia #aph hungary #hws hungary #aph germany #hws germany #aph pruhun #pruhun #hws pruhun #hetalia fanfic #hetalia fanfiction #hws fanfic #hws fanfiction #aph fanfic #aph fanfiction #hetalia

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inkstaineddove · 5 years ago

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At the Edge of the World

Ships: PruHun

Characters: Prussia, Hungary; mentioned Germany, Austria, Russia

Summary: Twenty years into their life behind the Iron Curtain, Hungary and Prussia try to keep their hopes for a better life and the memories of their loved ones alive.

Potsdam, 1973.

Gilbert was hard at work in the kitchen. Rolling meatballs, separating egg yolk from whites, adding a pinch of this or that spice as needed. A feeling of pride swelled up in him. While his masterpiece was yet to be finished, the act of creating was satisfying enough. He dipped his pinky into the gravy and licked it. Delicious.

“That’s disgusting, don’t do that.” Despite her complaints, Erzsébet grabbed his hand and took a taste for herself. “Not bad. It’s like you’re almost completely domesticated.”

“Not bad? Erzsi, you wound me. This is the best meal I’ve ever made and that’s all you can say on it?” He teasingly wagged a finger at her. “Marrying rich spoiled your tastes. I’m going to have to fix that.” He slid his arms around her waist, pulling her close against him. “And, I’ll have you know, I’m still wild. I’m still untamed.” As he spoke, he left a trail of slow and methodical kisses along her neck. His eyes caught sight of the timer. “Ah, shit. I should start boiling the potatoes.”

Everything about their lives had been different, if she bothered to think about it. She often did as it was impossible not to. Within a span of a few decades – an insignificant amount of time to their kind – everything had turned upside down. For her, she had been married then divorced and finding her own way then controlled by two different strains of evil. For him, he was the king of the world until the world turned to new leaders, leaders with the power to take from him what he’d so easily stolen from others.

She poured herself a glass of wine and him one of beer. They were practically living together now, not going more than a couple days between seeing each other. Their lives had become fully integrated, something she hadn’t noticed until it was complete. It was to the point now that, even when she was spending time with Feliks, Gilbert didn’t try to make any excuses to be away.

To her surprise, there was a kiss on her cheek. “What secrets are my cabinets telling you, Liebling? Anything good?” Gilbert chuckled good-naturedly. “You’ve been standing completely still for a minute. You’ve been doing that more often.”

Erzsébet didn’t want to delve into what all had been playing through her mind. At least, not now. “Can’t a woman have her secrets?” She smirked, an idea coming to mind. “Your cabinets were telling me they think you need to paint the room a different color.”

“Tell the cabinets they’re stupid if they think I can just go to the store and pick up paint.” He turned away, deciding to set the table instead. He smiled at the bouquet of tulips at the center. With Erzsébet sharing his home, she had brought more color into it and made it feel livelier with little touches like these. Not only that, but now his garden had greater variation than simply large shrub and slightly smaller shrub.

“You can’t? I thought you had all these connections.” She was angling for more information, like she always did when this topic arose. “How do you explain why your place has the heat on in winter and mine doesn’t?” She tried to keep her tone light, but she had been dying to know. She would be lying if she hadn’t snuck into his office to look for papers, but he managed to conceal everything that would’ve been of interest.

He gave her the response he always did: “Russia and I were friends before. I like to think he looks out for me more, that a part of him still remembers that.” He felt the weight of her gaze looming over him. Prussia’s hand hovered above the table, fork in hand. He sighed. Hungary had never heard him sound so exhausted. “Can’t a man have his secrets too?” Feeling guilty over the possibility of disappointing her again, he backtracked. “We can discuss it later. Let’s enjoy dinner first.”

They passed the meal in quiet, both preoccupied with their own thoughts. Gilbert’s mind was racing. How would he tell her? He knew how she felt about these people, how she never hesitated to denounce their actions. What would she think of him? What would happen to him if she ran out, ran and never returned? Turning to Saxony was out of the question and Brandenburg, while Gilbert owed much to him, was not a comforting sort of man.

As if reading his mind, he felt the gentle brush of her foot against his ankle. Her eyes were brimming with reassuring affection. Surety and devotion surged through him. He reminded himself that he was being ridiculous, that whatever happened they would get through this. They had been through too much together for this to simply be the end.

While she cleaned the dishes, he refilled their glasses, not doubting their necessity for a moment. Once she was finished, he opened his mouth to speak. “Can we talk outside?” Erzsébet cut him off. He had told her many times that his house wasn’t bugged and, while she believed him, it made her more comfortable.

On the patio, she shifted around on the sofa until finding a satisfactory position. He lit a cigarette with shaky hands. Each year, it seemed his smoking got worse from Erzsébet’s perspective. She refrained from judgement. She was no better. Her drinking had increased exponentially as well, as she found refuge in her vice.

After a few moments of uneasy silence, Prussia cautiously began speaking. “Years ago, when this whole thing began, Ivan offered me a proposition. He knew I would get restless if I was stuck just doing the same bureaucratic horseshit as everyone else and claimed it would be a ‘waste of my talents.’ He told me all about the damned secret police, every fucking detail to make me a liability. Then, to try and get me excited, he promised me all these wonderful things. That I don’t have to worry about food, about gas and electric to my homes, that I won’t be wiretapped.” He shook his head, disgust written plainly on his face. “He said this was a gift for me, a testament to our friendship. What friendship is there when one friend strongarms the other into selling his soul?”

Erzsébet didn’t know what to say. All the words dried up in her mouth. That explained his secrecy. She nodded at him to continue, needing to hear more from him for her own peace of mind.

“I regret not pushing back more. I should’ve rejected the offer and dealt with the repercussions as they came, to try and pretend like I had principles.” There was that sigh again. Wearied and defeated, Atlas unable to support the world any longer. “I was so tired, Erzsi. What did pushing back against things do for me last time? All I had left was my conscience, no other acknowledgement from anyone that my actions mattered. I couldn’t keep my resolve for any longer. My only goal now is to take care of us both.” Craving nicotine, he took a long drag from his cigarette. “Please don’t think I’m a monster. I interfere when I can, but they keep me away from arrests. My sin is in training these brutes.”

When he’d finished, a stillness settled over them and throughout the garden. The only movement came from a light breeze rustling the leaves of the trees. Gilbert’s heart was racing as worst-case scenarios rushed through his mind. He braced himself, accepting a smack in the face before it could occur. He deserved it, he deserved nothing more than her full contempt. He began planning for a life without her, attempting to create a routine that would keep him as occupied as possible. The catastrophizing was in full swing.

“I feel like I should be more surprised than I am,” she mused. Her nail tapped lightly against her wine glass. She took a leisurely sip. “You had me believing it would all be worse than it is.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll help you pack.” He paused, only now processing what she had just said. “Wait, what?”

“I can see why you wouldn’t fight back. Even before the end of the world you’ve seemed so…done with everything. I’d like to say that I would have reacted differently, but I have my doubts. Who wouldn’t be resigned to whatever life threw at them next after dissolution? It’s a distasteful situation, but that’s how everything’s been since the thirties.” A few giggles escaped her at his reaction. “What’s with that shocked look on your face? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

He was currently doing gymnastics in his mind, trying to connect reality with his expectations. “You’re not leaving me? You can’t stand collaborationists! Why aren’t you screaming at me?”

She couldn’t suppress her laughter any longer. His overblown reaction was too much for her to handle. She clutched her stomach with one hand and wiped away a tear with the other. “Do you want me to yell at you?” Another laughing fit. Once calm, she took his hand in hers and kissed it. “You’re right, I loathe them with every fiber of my being. The ones who work in tandem with these creeps for power, they disgust me and I wash my hands of them. Those who are doing it to survive, because they had no other options? I understand they’re doing it out of desperation or as a last resort. I don’t hate the desperate, Gil, and I couldn’t hate you.”

The knot in Gilbert’s stomach began to dissipate. The worries that had been nagging at his mind began to be hushed. He buried his head in her shoulder, needing the closeness to keep himself composed. “Thank you.” The words were barely a whisper. “I was terrified you wouldn’t be able to stand me anymore. If I was without you I-I don’t know I’d do.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d expressed such a sentiment to her, but it was the first time Erzsébet believed it. Her grasp on him tightened when she felt her shoulder growing moist. She ran her fingers through his hair in an effort to be soothing. “Come on, there’s no reason to think about those things. You’re going to have to try harder to get rid of me.” She gently brought his face up to look at hers, a reassuring smile on her lips. “For better or worse, you’re stuck with me.”

Despite regaining his composure, he kept her pulled close to him. He needed the comfort physical proximity brought. To distract himself from the despairing thoughts swirling in his head, he began playing with the ends of her hair. His cigarette had been taken from him by Erzsébet, who now puffed on it herself. It repulsed her, but it was something to take the edge off as she’d run out of wine.

“You’re a good man, Gilbert.” Her voice appeared out of the dark. “You’re a better man than you think you are. I know you’ll never agree, but you’ve done things an evil man would never have done. Don’t be so quick to believe that you’re the villain.”

“This isn’t the fate a good person.”

“Would you say I’m evil? Or Katyusha or Feliks or Toris or any of the others?” He turned his head away. She knew his answer. “Exactly. You’re not a saint, but none of us are. None of us deserve what we’ve gotten here. Stop taking this as divine judgement when it’s nothing but mortal failings.”

The sound of crickets chirping filled the air. Erzsébet extinguished the cigarette at last before flicking it into the ashtray. She peered up, wanting to examine Gilbert and deduce what was happening in his mind. Normally, he was an easy person to read and one who whose emotions were clear as day. Only in affairs of the state was he usually so indecipherable. His eyes were straight ahead, his face a blank slate.

Eventually, he felt her gaze on him and looked down. He could sense her concern and forced a wide grin. “Don’t worry about me so much. I’m fine. I’m always fine.” He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin. “Nothing ever gets to me for long.” It sounded as if he were trying to reassure himself too.

The mood was too somber. For her own sanity, she would need to bring them to lighter spirits. “So, when you made this deal with the devil,” the look he shot her warned her to tread carefully. She blew him a kiss to let him know she was teasing. “Would it have killed you to make sure I was taken care of? Or was it all a rouse to have me spend autumn and winter here?”

“I did try to take care of you, but he wasn’t going for it. He said it was like him asking me to go easy on France. Which, really, how could you have me argue with that?” He patted her thigh. “Maybe next time don’t kill so many Russians.”

She shoved his hand off. “As if you’re one to talk! What a bastard, why does he think he’s so high and mighty?”

“Because he won the damn war! You’re acting like this is the worst thing he’s done to you!” Another cigarette was between his teeth as he spoke. While he fumbled with the lighter, she stole it from him. “Hey! That was my last one!”

“You’ll be fine without it. You reek of tobacco, I don’t want to smell it when I’m this close to you. Watch it!” A struggle ensued for the cigarette, resulting in them tumbling onto the porch deck. Erzsébet had successfully maintained her claim on it and, pinning Gilbert down, tossed it a couple meters out of reach. “Ha, I win again.”

Crossing his hands behind his head, he smirked up at her. “If this is what losing is, I don’t exactly mind.” He couldn’t help laughing when she smacked him in the chest. “What? I’m not allowed to enjoy myself? Do you want me to suffer more?”

She slid off him, moving to lay her head on his chest. “I’m starting to think you haven’t suffered enough.”

Gilbert’s mind began racing again. These past decades had been torturous. Even having Erzsébet by his side, it didn’t dissipate all the horrors they’d witnessed and been subjected to since being sacrificed to Russian ambitions. It was a testament to their endurance that they continued pushing on with whatever hope they deemed safe to maintain under this system. His thoughts drifted to those they’d left on the other side of the curtain. On the worst days, the memories of the family they’d left behind were the only fuel either of them had left. His belief in God had been squandered long ago, yet he still found himself habitually praying for their safety and to someday see them again.

“Neither of them would be able to handle this.” He didn’t feel the need to clarify. She would know who he was referring to. “Can you imagine Ludwig here? The kid would be a neurotic mess, too much of a control freak to take the passive role.”

“I wonder who he inherited that from.” She shook her head, imagining Ludwig in this sick performance of theirs. “He asks too many questions sometimes. You’d be taking so many beatings for him.” She paused, the memory of Ludwig as a child coming to her. His wide blue eyes, how precocious he was, the way he idolized the three of them. “On second thought, we both would be.”

His fingertips brushed along the small of her back. She could see the hints of a smile on the corner of his mouth. “We would have to trade off.” He chuckled, considering their remaining family. “Can’t forget Roddy either. He wouldn’t be able to stop running his mouth, demanding the respect of an aristocrat as if these people haven’t murdered them for the same.”

“Please, that’s simplifying it too much. We wouldn’t try to protect him the first time, thinking he would be able to handle it. He would be so battered, there would be no question in our minds what we would have to do.” She rolled her eyes. The scene was so vivid to her that, if she squinted, it would appear as reality. “At least with Ludwig he could be reasoned with. Roderich would be insulted if we ever suggested to him that he shut up to placate such barbarians.”

“I’d rather deal with obstinacy than Ludwig’s depressive angst. If you think I’m bad, wait till you see the kid in action. He’d have us all slitting our wrists in no time.” The mood shifted around Gilbert as his last conversation with Ludwig came to mind. “He was a mess before I had to leave. Kept repeating how it wasn’t fair that I received the worst of it, that he should be taking my place instead. Funny time for him to want play the hero, huh?” He laughed softly, but there was no humor to his joke. “I told him that it’s fine, that my purpose is to take care of him. What kind of-” he hesitated, always nervous to speak the word.

“You can say it. You’re with me.”

A loud exhale. “What kind of Vatti would I be if I sent him to the vultures? If our places were reversed, I wouldn’t forgive myself.” A morose smile settled on his lips. Looking at the stars reminded him that he wasn’t as far from Ludwig as it felt. “The best prisoners we get are from the West. According to them, he’s doing well for himself and staying out of trouble. If those two morons don’t blow us all to hell, I want to tell him I’m proud of him and the man he’s grown into.”

The whole time he spoke, Erzsébet had been listening intently. She squeezed him tightly when he finished. There was too much to say, her emotions were overwhelming. Nostalgia for their old life settled in. Even though their relationships had been incredibly complex and fraught for most of it, she longed for the past and how quaint it all seemed now. “How much longer do you think this will last?” What she wouldn’t give now to embrace Ludwig and Roderich, to tease them both about their idiosyncrasies and irritate them with her own. The past wasn’t perfect, but its blemishes made it all the more beautiful.

Gilbert mentally wrestled with her question. How much longer could this go on? He knew nothing lasted forever – his own quick ascendency and downfall served as a personal reminder – but the Soviet Union’s vice grip on the present felt impenetrable. “Roderich used to ask me the same thing about the Nazis and every time I would tell him it couldn’t be much longer. That it would be another year at most. Neither of us ever believed it, but it was a comforting lie.” He scowled, pessimism taking control. “How silly would it be to delude ourselves with the same thing? Is two years realistic enough or should it be three?”

“Two. I want to have hope, even if it’s false.” She was tracing shapes on his chest. She traced the silhouette of an eagle. “If we both rebelled, we might have a chance this time. We both know we’re stronger together. Besides, I’m sure your gun is bigger than Russia’s.”

Her euphemism awarded her a laugh, giving things the semblance of quasi-normalcy. “Clever.” He kissed the top of her head. “Don’t tempt me with a suicide mission. We should head inside. It’s getting late and my back is stiff.” He tried rising, but she refused to budge.

“It’s warm for October. We haven’t slept under the stars in years, not since when your first told me you love me. Could we tonight? While the weather is still nice?”

By no means did he want to. But when she stared at him with those gorgeous emerald eyes, with ardor that was reserved only for him, how could he deny her anything? Whenever she looked at him like that, he wouldn’t hesitate to gift her the world if it was what she desired. “Of course, Liebling, though I would like to grab my pillow.”

With the moon and the sky their only witnesses, it was the first night of peace they found in years.

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