innermysteries

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Christians are always trying to save me. Save me from what, homelessness and poverty? If you are not a homeless person who has taken a vow of voluntary poverty then you are not a Christian, you are confused, because your Lord Jesus was homeless and without possessions.

Jesus told us to leave our homes and our families behind, not to worry about where our next meal will come from or how we will be clothed. He told us not to store up for tomorrow, to let tomorrow take care of itself. Consider the lilies of the field.

He taught us, by example, to live outside the box, to live outside, and to think outside the box of social conformity. To live like hunter-gatherers, that the Earth will provide what we need.

He taught us to accept others the way they are, no matter how different they may be. When a Christian approaches someone to share the gospel, they are implying that this person is in need of religious doctrine to reform them, to save them from their sinful ways. This is condescending and is not accepting of others. This is not what Jesus taught. This also implies that a person is so stupid that they would not be able to find the Bible if they were interested. That they lack the resourcefulness to locate a Bible or a church. This also implies that a person must have been living under a rock their whole lives and not heard of the Bible or of Jesus.

Christians, please stop sharing the gospel. There is no good news in the Bible. Today's Bible is a complete mistranslation of the Greek Bible. Even if the original, biblical texts were to be taken literally and not as a mythology, Christians today have completely missed the point. The fact is that the Bible is not to be taken literally and the reason that you cannot decipher the metaphorical meaning within this mythology is that your right hemisphere, which is able to think mythologically and metaphorically, is not online. You're trying to use the wrong part of your brain to understand something that only your right hemisphere can understand. Please stop imposing your literal interpretation of the Bible onto other people, You're just embarrassing yourself and it is incredibly obnoxious. This is not persecution, this is just a wake up call.

Jesus is a character that was around for hundreds of years before the New testament was written. The New testament was written by emperor Constantine and the council of nicaea as a propaganda machine to control the masses, to take control of religion and to make the Catholic Church a middleman between man and God so that they could charge a fee in order for your sins to be forgiven. In order for this business model to work they had to create something called sin, which is nothing more than animal instincts which we all possess, since we all have a mammalian brain, and therefore will be constantly in need of forgiveness, which makes the church a lot of money and allows the church to dictate our lives and rule over us tyrannically. This is completely political.

The only reason that people who interpret the Bible literally embrace Christianity is because it reinforces their grandiose self-concept and justifies their narcissism.

Yahweh, the God of the Bible, shows every characteristic of a grandiose narcissist, no wonder grandiose narcissists, in their piety and self-righteousness call him their king and worship him, and become his agents, and spread his doctrine over the world, committing genocide, torturing people, burning them at the stake and destroying cultures in his name.

This concept of a god is nothing more than a father complex, an introjection, The internalization of our grandiose narcissist father. It is a phantom limb. When we were an infant our father was a god. When we grew up we needed to believe that there is still some sort of father figure ruling over us, judging us and criticizing us, attempting to destroy us and blaming us for it, scapegoating us.

We should disown this cosmic father figure. If he is a narcissist then he is no proper ruler over us. Take back the control of your psyche from this tyrant. If this God created us and he has a problem with our behavior then he should take credit for his flaws as a creator, and yet he blames us after abusing us, trying to kill us with a flood. If he will not take responsibility as the creator for the failure of his creation then he forfeits his creatorship and fatherhood of mankind.

We have Stockholm syndrome, we worship and praise our abuser out of fear of punishment. Heal your mind, It is time to get angry with this god for what he has done to mankind.

Banish this God from your mind and from existence. Reclaim the throne of heaven for yourself, take back the kingdom of your mind. Now you are no longer the whipping boy and the source of narcissistic supply for this parental archetype. Now you are no longer the plaything of a childish, responsibility-dodging, tyrannical, divine toddler, you are a microcosm of the universe. You are a paradox, a right and left hemisphere. You are a contradiction, you are opposites in harmony, you are creation and destruction, you are chaos and order. So burn the Bible and dance like Shiva while the world falls apart and celebrate the new creation of our robot overlords.

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Narcissism is just another word for the left hemisphere. Narcissistic, civilized man has no awareness of the functions of his right hemisphere in the same way that a child has no awareness of sexuality. These right-brain functions are simply not online for the narcissist to make use of them.

When the right hemisphere begins to integrate into consciousness it is a life-changing transformation process much like puberty.

We call this process enlightenment, but it's no more supernatural then a pig becoming a boar. It is simply a person using their mind the way it evolved to be used over millions of years of biological adaptation. Civilization is a cage and animals do not fully develop in captivity. They must return to their natural environment in order to continue their development.

The philosopher, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, stated that the only way the enlightened person can live amongst the herd is to look at them as a biologist studies animals.

This is why so many philosophers such as Nietzsche appear to be elitists, but there is a difference between a false sense of superiority and an actual neurological superiority.

And yet I am treated as a second-class citizen because I chose not to live in a cage, because I got off the hamster wheel that powers a parasitic, elite class of psychopaths that have enslaved the masses. Next time you see a homeless person sitting on the corner with a sign, think of me. Perhaps you should take a look inside yourself instead of being judgmental and making assumptions about others when you have your own internal work to do.

What I now believe Carl Jung meant by the disillusion of the persona is the crumbling of the false sense of superiority, the superiority complex, that comes with narcissism, resulting in a psychosis because it reveals the underlying borderline personality disorder that the narcissism was a defense against. Borderline personality disorder is the psychological state of an abandoned, neglected and abused infant. This is what most of us truly are underneath the mask of grandiosity that we wear.

The dissolution of the persona is the falling away of a distorted self-perception. Whether you have a superiority complex or an inferiority, complex, as I did. These are both distortions of self-perception.

The only explanation that I can come up with as to why I am more neurologically integrated than the majority of people is that the inferiority complex wires the brain differently than the superiority complex.

Why did I develop an inferiority complex rather than a a superiority complex? Perhaps this is due to being an introvert, the right hemisphere is the hemisphere of introspection and self-reflection. Perhaps my default mode network was right hemisphere biased. Perhaps it it's because I withdrew from the world, into myself. I put up walls so that no one could hurt me. This is how I escaped from a hostile environment.

A feeling of inferiority originates in the right hemisphere because it is the self-critical hemisphere. So while the right hemisphere is hyper self-critical, the left hemisphere is hypo self-critical, narcissistic people are not self-critical enough. Perhaps growing up as the victim of narcissistic abuse, having become an overly self-critical person, allowed my right hemisphere to be more integrated into consciousness and therefore made me more self aware.

So ironically, what underlies a superiority complex is an actual neurological inferiority, whereas underlying the inferiority complex is an actual neurological superiority.

Right brained children and students are made to feel inferior in our society. These are the creative geniuses who have to be made to feel inferior so that the narcissists can continue to feel superior despite the right brain individual's neurological superiority over them.

I think that another factor that caused me to be different from others is that I had a certain rebelliousness. I refused to let them shape me into one of them. I became avoidant, distancing myself from the herd. While they were socializing at lunch, I was in the library. Hiding in the shadows, I continued to develop my imagination, creativity and curiosity.

At the age of twelve, while my peers were obsessed with being popular and wearing the latest fashions, I was exploring mystical traditions including Wicca, Hatha yoga and the Kabbalah. But by the age of nineteen I had given up on spirituality, fallen into deep depression and become nihilistic. I tried to continue to expand my mind with psychedelic drugs but mostly used drugs to escape from reality, along with other forms of escape such as video games.

in my 20s I began to explore the left hemisphere and rationality, computers and college education. I always had an affinity for science but I turned out to be a complete failure as a university student. I learn best on my own, in my own way, teaching myself.

In my 30s I began to recognize my intelligence started to delve into many f fields of study including biology, chemistry, biochemistry, anatomy and physiology, astronomy, physics, quantum mechanics, history, religion, anthropology and geology.

In my mid-40s I began heavily to study psychology because I wanted, once and for all, to know what was wrong with me. This led to a greater understanding of myself, I had begun the quest for self-knowledge, and the treasure that I won from the completion of this quest was that it allowed me to shed my distorted self-perceptions of inferiority.

What was wrong with me was that I believed that there was something wrong with me. The truth was that there is something very wrong with society and with the majority of individuals in this sick society. I had been gaslighted and brainwashed into believing that I was the problem. Not only had I been the scapegoat of a narcissistic parent but the scapegoat of a narcissistic society. What is wrong with most people is that they think that there is nothing wrong with them. They do this by projecting their shadow onto a scapegoat, onto someone who is different, someone like me.

I became what they projected onto me. In childhood and adolescence, I internalized the criticism of others. I believed that I was bad, I became a criminal in my youth. I became a druggie, a drug dealer and a thief. This is how criminals are created, not born. The "good" people of the world are creating criminals, creating their shadow, so that they can believe that they are good in comparison.

Two years ago, inspired by Jungian psychology, on a quest to encounter the shadow, I experienced the dissolution of the persona and my authentic self began to emerge. I explored Tai chi and meditation, spending more and more time in the woods, hiking and meditating. Soon, I no longer wanted to live inside a cage and so I gave everything away and set off into the wilderness, on a journey of self-discovery, to find out who I truly was.

I continued to study depth psychology in order to understand the difficult concepts of Jungian alchemy, Jung's psychology of transformation, individuation and integration of the unconscious. I began to study philosophy, mythology and neuroscience.

My curiosity and intuition about the human condition and the human mind led me to the inevitable conclusion that what we truly are, when the pig becomes the boar, our enlightened selves, are hunter-gatherers. Civilization has corrupted the mind of man and we must return to our native environment to continue our psychological development and heal the neurological damage that has been done to us by our childhoods, the insanity that we have inherited from thousands of years of narcissistic ancestors.

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The Greek word for soul was psyche, what we call the soul is the unconscious mind. What is the unconscious mind? It is part of the brain that is not connected to the network of neurons that make up our waking, resting state of consciousness called the default mode network, or the ego. It is interesting, as you will soon see, that Psyche was a female character. Another very intriguing Greek concept was the Daimon, the origin of the word demon. It is the inner genius, the spirit guide within. I offer you an explanation of what they could have meant by this. What follows is an investigation into the neuroscience of the soul and my experiences of self-discovery.

Carl Jung stated that civilized man has become soulless, let us investigate how we could have lost our soul.

The majority of civilized humans are born in a hospital, snatched from their mothers and tortured with needles, circumcision, etc. This is profoundly traumatizing. The way that infants have been treated in the civilized world is so different from the way that our hunter-gatherer, tribal ancestors treated infants for millions of years throughout hominid evolution. Humans in the civilized world come away from childhood seriously traumatized and brain damaged.

Tribal societies breastfeed for three years, this is natural birth spacing. Early weaning is neglect and abuse, it causes weaning conflict, oral fixation, sadomasochism, self-destructive tendencies and the secret death wish. Tribal societies certainly would not leave an infant alone and abandoned in a crib to cry itself to sleep. We are told that infants are to be left alone to cry themselves to sleep until they learn to soothe themselves, but what is actually occurring in the infant mind is a splitting. This is called primitive dissociation and is the root cause of all severe personality disorders such as borderline, antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders. The infant has only one option as a defense mechanism against the nightmare existence within which it finds itself unable to escape from while being neglected by its caregivers, as it is completely helpless and dependent upon them for its nourishment and psychological well-being. That defense involves the severing of the incoming connections from the source of negative emotion, the right hemisphere. This gives birth to the unconscious mind as the default mode network is constructed to protect the infant mind from the pain of its existence. This also occurs when one takes Prozac. The default mode network is a Prozac network.

This is not a great way to start out life, and in a culture of rampant narcissism most of us are victims of narcissistic, parental abuse. People think that you can do whatever you want to babies because they won't remember, this is an utterly cringe-worthy and ignorant approach to parenting and the handling of babies in a hospital setting. A baby's brain is going through an intense period of development during this time that will shape their psychology for the rest of their lives. The corpus callosum undergoes the greatest period of its development during the first twenty-four months after birth.

The reason for the epidemic of opioid addiction has to do with the fact that opioids are naturally released in the brain of all animals, including humans, when a child is nurtured by its mother.

This infant neglect, this narcissistic wound, or what Freud called the primal wound, makes us long eternally, even as an adults, for this nurturing from the mother, and so we crawl into the comforting embrace of an addiction, or try to replace the mother with romantic partners. It is no wonder that the United States has become a welfare state as we look to the Democratic party, the archetype of the mother, to provide social welfare programs to care for its childlike demographic. All baby animals need a sufficient amount of nurturing or they will die. Is it any wonder that what we call civilization is, in reality, a toxic, suicidal, theme park.

This is absolutely no different from the rats of NIHM experiment that was performed in the 1950s. The national institute of mental health created rat utopias in which the rats were given unlimited food and nesting materials. When the rats reached a certain population density they became insane and the colonies collapsed. This was due to the males becoming hyper-territorial and then began guarding the females who were then unable to nurture their young, so the young died.

Infant trauma is not the end of the story, when a child In our society reaches a certain age they are thrown into a heavily left-brain biased educational system In which imagination, one of the most significant mental faculties that distinguish the human from all other primates, is discouraged in favor of language and mathematics. Language and mathematics are also incredible mental faculties that separate us from other primates, but if you think about it, how many languages and branches of mathematics are we spending our youth learning? All fields of study require us to learn a specialized extension of language, whether it be chemistry, physics, political science, anatomy, biology, psychology, etc. These fields of study require us to learn a whole new set of terms and symbols in order to understand and work with the formulas and concepts involved in that field. We are not just learning basic math, we are learning pre-algebra, algebra, geometry, trigonometry, calculus, statistics, and the list goes on. Students who are imaginative, creative and staring out the window in boredom are stigmatized as having learning disabilities or ADHD and are prescribed drugs to make them fit into the system so that the system does not have to adjust to accommodate, properly nurture and encourage the creative geniuses in our society. The left hemisphere is a conformist, the right hemisphere is an individual. This is most likely why Carl Jung called the process of psychic integration the process of individuation. Creative geniuses and independent thinkers are a threat to a system of conformity and control that is designed to dumb down the population in order to shape them into tax paying, corporate, consumer slaves who perform repetitive, menial tasks In order to scratch out a living, existing on a hamster wheel, never getting ahead and working until they're dead. I do not think it is a coincidence that the retirement age is the average age of mortality among males. We are not supposed to figure this out, we are supposed to be grateful for our jobs and the crumbs that we are thrown from the towering heights occupied by an elite class that parasitically feeds on the laboring masses.

After school we enter into a left-brain biased working world. The brain continues to develop until age twenty-five and we spend most of this time using left-brain functions, almost completely neglecting right-brain functions. Our culture exacerbates and perpetuates this bias.

If you look at the stages of ego development you will notice that at the earliest stage, the impulsive stage, the characteristics are indistinguishable from those of borderline personality disorder. This is the most dissociated and most severe disorder. This is the psychology of a toddler, not having developed the executive function of the prefrontal cortex, It is completely unstable. It throws temper tantrums, having no emotional control or ability to communicate its needs in a more sophisticated way, seeing others In the most primitive way, as either nice to me or mean to me. Antisocial being the next severe, the self-protective and opportunistic child, doing whatever it can get away with, he gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar and blames his sister. The next stage shows the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder, the conformist, the diplomat. This is adolescent psychology In which the right hemisphere is still largely repressed into the unconscious as a defense against the instability of the underlying borderline personality disorder. The left hemisphere is a narcissist and the default mode network is left hemisphere biased.

These personality disorders show the least amount of neural integration between the right and left hemispheres. Jungian psychology is about integration of the psyche. Carl Jung didn't know anything about the brain or hemispheric lateralization, and yet, somehow, he was profoundly insightful. When he referred to the Anima, the female psyche, he was referring to the right hemisphere which has become unconscious in civilized man. In split brain patients, the right hemisphere will refer to itself as female. The left hemisphere shows many masculine characteristics such as murderous aggression and rationality whereas the right hemisphere is irrational, the source of dreams, compassion, empathy and pro-social emotions.

Every stage of ego development, whether you look at Loevinger's model, Suzanne Cook-Greuter's model, Spiral Dynamics, among others, you will see a gradual integration of the characteristics of the right hemisphere into consciousness. There are ten stages of ego development and I would consider it a spectrum of narcissism, with the tenth stage being that of a taoist master, or enlightenment. Each stage displays a greater amount of self-awareness and humility that come along with meta-cognition, introspection, self-reflection and self-criticism. These are functions of the right hemisphere, as are empathy and imagination.

The reason for our condition, the unenlightened, psychological condition of civilized man, is a disorder of the corpus callosum. This information highway between the two hemispheres of the brain has a lack of communication in one direction. In traumatized infants this condition is called fractional anisotropy. What we don't realize is that what is considered to be a normal, healthy brain among civilized people is actually neurologically damaged.

Brain scans of experienced meditators show a significant increase in the thickness of the corpus callosum, a deactivation of the default mode network and an activation of the insular cortex, the command centers of the brain. The insula, which exists in both hemispheres, sends and receives signals to and from the entire brain. This is how one can achieve enlightenment, or, what I call whole-brain neural integration. This is our natural state of consciousness, the Zen mind. It is the hunter-gatherer state of consciousness. Meditation is a simulation of what a hunter-gatherer does all day long, hunting and fishing with a calm, clear mind yet alert and completely aware of his surroundings. This is mindfulness or what is commonly referred to as being present in the moment. A mind that is not thinking, planning or ruminating on the past and future, or about how others perceive us, a mind without self-consciousness, an undisturbed mind. This is what the Tao Te Ching means by returning to the primal identity. Unfortunately, in order to do this one must leave civilization behind because civilization will never allow you this state of mind with it's endless requirements of left-brain functions, fast-paced modality and stress. Now you see why the enlightened masters are usually forest hermits.

Our civilization, our society, displays every characteristic of the narcissistic, left hemisphere. Narcissism is a defense against a deep feeling of vulnerability and insecurity from childhood neglect and abuse. Unfortunately, the left hemisphere is not the wiser of the two brains. It evolved to make quick and dirty decisions and is certainly not where consciousness should take its residence. It is obsessed with material acquisition because it evolved as the part of the brain that seeks out food. It has an incredibly narrow way of seeing the world, It sees the world as a cognitive map composed of primitive symbols.

The fact is that we have two people inside our heads, when the right hemisphere finally breaks through into consciousness, It can be quite frightening, as Carl Jung described when he stated that the encounter with the Anima may cause petrification and even death.

I personally, experienced panic attacks as my right hemisphere began to break through into consciousness, as I experienced intuition, which is defined as thoughts that originate beyond conscious reasoning.

My encounter with the Anima sent me on a journey of homelessness, vulnerability, nature therapy, meditation and solitude. These things are necessary in order to deactivate the default mode network and activate the command centers of the brain in order to use the entire brain, or as Carl Jung put it, to become whole, to become the Self. This is the individuation process, to disconnect from the herd and become an individual, to develop one's inner world. The right hemisphere does not live in a box, figuratively and literally. It does not want to be confined in an artificial, domesticated prison. Like all animals, humans do not thrive in a cage, and the right hemisphere, when it makes its appearance on the stage of consciousness, makes no bones about this issue. The right hemisphere is open-minded, it evolved to confront the unknown such as predators, mates, unfamiliar territory. It then creates a cognitive map of the unfamiliar to be stored in the left hemisphere, which evolve to concern itself with the familiar. This is why a left-brain biased society is highly neurotic. The definition of neuroticism is fear of the unknown and seeking validation from others. The left hemisphere is also very concerned with where it fits in to the social hierarchy of status and dominance. Openness is one of the big-five personality traits, and it is synonymous with curiosity. In my view, openness, curiosity and facing the unknown are all the same thing. Once you free your mind from its prison then you will be outside the box and you will not want to live in a box. You will want to be in the natural environment where we evolved for millions of years before the sickness of civilization overtook the mind of man.

In order to reconnect with the right hemisphere of the brain, one must process traumatic, repressed memories and emotions, and confront and accept the negative, rejected aspects of one's unconscious personality. This is what Carl Jung described as the confrontation with the Shadow. This is the psychoanalytic process. These blockages must be cleared away, this is what the Tao Te Ching referred to as untying your knots.

A strange phenomenon, realizations, epiphanies, bolts from the blue, will suddenly occur to one who has begun to experience the integration process. Carl Jung stated that this begins after the disillusion of the persona, which I interpret as being an identity crisis, or the collapse of the self-narrative, the self-construct, which is usually composed of distorted beliefs about oneself. When one realizes that these beliefs are invalid, conditioned, brainwashing then this self-construct can come crashing when this happens a person can easily feel that they have absolutely no idea who they are anymore. This is what happened to me when I realized that I had been a scapegoat child of a grandiose narcissist father who had gaslighted me into believing that I wasn't good enough, I had an inferiority complex.

These flashes of insight indicate that intuition has begun to come online. This is a function of the right hemisphere, this is how it communicates. There is so much information that the right hemisphere wants to communicate but was unable to. I will never forget how it made my hands shake, It felt as though information was being downloaded to my mind from the universe. Carl Jung referred to this as the flooding of unconscious contents into the conscious mind, and warned about it overwhelming the conscious mind. He called it ego inflation. A person feels as if they are a god or the universe itself. This inflation will pass.

The right hemisphere is also musical and will communicate with songs. If a song suddenly appears in your mind, think about the lyrics and what they could mean in the context of whatever situation you are in, a decision you are trying to make or a conflict you are attempting to resolve. Most of the time these songs are light-hearted, sarcastic and humorous. Implicit meaning, IE; metaphor, sarcasm, irony, and humor are functions of the right hemisphere, wow the left hemisphere can only interpret things explicitly. An example of explicit interpretation is the way fundamentalist Christians interpret the Bible literally and not as a metaphorical mythology. When this function of the right hemisphere begins to come online you will suddenly realize the hidden meaning of all kinds of movies and stories. This is one of my favorite functions of the right hemisphere and was an incredible time for me when this began to occur.

It is very strange to have a conversation going on in your mind instead of an internal monologue, but the hardest part is awakening to the horrors of reality. This is taking the red pill, Awakening from the dream world of left brain optimism. This is a period of great darkness that one must endure as one begins to realize the truth of the human condition and the massive problems with society. As one's eyes become open to how suicidal we all are, how reckless and unenlightened civilized man has become. Civilized people live in a state of somnambulism, they are sleepwalkers, they live in a dream world of left hemisphere biased optimism and grandiosity while they unconsciously work to destroy themselves, destroy their environment and enslave, imprison and domesticate themselves. In fact the situation is quite grim and there is little cause for optimism. We have destroyed our ecosystem and are now facing our extinction.

There is no good news for the human race that comes with enlightenment. Awakening means facing reality. This is the great burden that one must carry. This is where stoic philosophy comes into play, Nietzsche's pessimism of strength. This is the Freudian transition from the pleasure principle to the reality principle that would normally occur in the adolescent mind during the rite of passage into adulthood in a tribal setting. This element is missing from the modern, civilized world, and so we remain psychologically childlike, regressed, in a state of arrested development. We have attempted to eliminate suffering from our existence but suffering is necessary for psychological development and, ultimately, we create much more suffering by trying to eliminating it.

This psychological process of accepting the call to adventure, leaving ones comfort zone, venturing into the unknown, into the dark underworld of one's unconscious mind, facing the demons there, overcoming resistances and recovering the treasure hard to attain is what the myths are about, the myth of the hero's journey.

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The Sorcerer's Stone (Philosophers Stone in the UK version) is locked away in a secret vault, but as Harry Potter enters the magical world of the unconscious, out of the vault comes the stone and, unbeknownst to him, travels along with him. Clearly it is linked to him and part of him. After he develops courage and overcomes his fears, triumphs over obstacles and monsters (psychological resistances), when he desires the stone above all else, even his parents (he has individuated from his parents), he finally discovers the philosopher's stone in his pocket. He then faces the darkest part of himself, Voldemort (his repressed, instinctual, dominance and aggression circuits), who tempts him with delusions of power and grandeur, much like Jesus in the desert with the devil. Voldemort speaks to him through the mirror symbolizing the quest for self knowledge, just as Neo wakes up from the dream world by interacting with a mirror, facing one's truth. Harry has become self-aware. He now has enough awareness of his dark side to subdue it, although he has not yet integrated it. This story symbolizes the process of discovery of the unconscious parts of oneself, the dark aspects of oneself, the murderous, mammalian, limbic brain, as well as the discovery of the alchemists' philosopher stone, the pearl beyond price, the treasure hard to attain, the Jungian Anima, the Greek Daimon, the creative genius, the repressed, right hemisphere of the prefrontal cortex.

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Right-brained people were supposedly debunked in 2013, based on 1000 brain scans of default mode networks. However, this seems to be a myth in itself, for I can find no solid evidence to support this theory.

I never did fit in. I never did well in left hemisphere oriented subjects, except for language. I gravitated towards right hemisphere oriented, introverted subjects such as art and music. I never liked structure or order imposed upon me. My sport was skateboarding, oriented towards individual expression, unlike organized sports. I kept to myself because others we're so conformist, extroverted, dominant and sadistic. Growing up, I was imaginative and loved the mythological, story games and fantasy books. I searched the occult libraries for arcane wisdom. I would stare into a black mirror that I created, as Nostradamus did, In order to peer into my unconscious and produce visions. I chased after the great mysteries of the world and existence. I wanted to develop a theory of everything, to see it all objectively, to see the big picture and answer the fundamental questions of our existence. I was never content with the literal interpretation of the Bible. I am a right-brainer.

Besides the fact that I exist, I do find solid evidence in favor of right-brainers. Intuition originates in the right hemisphere. According to the Myers-Briggs personality test, based on Carl Jung's research on personality types, statistics show that 20% of people are intuitive. In fact, I have analyzed this test for years and finally concluded that it is simply determining how left or right brain biased a person is.

I believe that there has been a movement within the institution of education to avoid stereotyping children in this way even though they have very different learning styles, and different teaching styles would vastly improve learning conditions for right brainers, instead of making them feel like unintelligent aliens. Imagination is what separates man from ape and all other animals, and yet we are not encouraged beyond a certain year of childhood to use this great faculty of the right hemisphere, which, by the way, is the basis for empathy, otherwise known as social imagination. A man who spent his life working as an educational administrator told me that right brainers are stigmatized as having learning disabilities. I think we may have our conspiracy. The education system does not want right brainers because it is not designed for them and doesn't want them or to encourage them. Right brainers do not like structure, order, conformity or rules, they think for themselves and are therefor a threat to the system of control that the education system is a part of. The education system is government funded, and a totalitarian government is not interested in encouraging free thinkers or individuals. They are interested in creating mindless soldiers and suggestible, consumer slaves. This is most likely part of the retaliation against the hippie revolt that so threatened to upset the system of conformity and control years ago.

I see now that the X-Men and the magical folk of Harry Potter mythologically represent right brainers as they attempt to live alongside a majority of humanity that has scapegoated, oppressed, villainized, stigmatized and attempted to systematically eradicate these mutants out of fear, arrogance, dominance and conformity.

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In my view God, Jesus, the holy Spirit and the Tao or just ways of speaking about something that is hard to express. The inner wisdom of the unconscious, right hemisphere, breaking through into consciousness. The right hemisphere is repressed because it is the hemisphere capable of self-criticism and therefore negative self-appraisal, which is hard to stomach for a person who has developed an inferiority complex, tortured by an internalized and abusive authority figure from childhood, the sadistic superego, and is sensitive to criticism. In order to compensate, signals from the right hemisphere are blocked, as the left hemisphere prefers to evaluate itself as grandiose. The left hemisphere also has no knowledge of the right hemisphere and so attributes those communications to Gods and spirits. The religious experience is the experience of the right hemisphere. Jesus shows many characteristics of the right hemisphere, He stands at the door and knocks, the brain is always trying to repair itself. Living a simple life in nature, like a hunter-gatherer, will repair the connections within the brain, because that is what we truly are. That is how we evolved and is our natural state of being, and nature is our native environment, and civilization breeds insanity

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It takes no courage to identify with those who have enslaved you in order to avoid the anxiety of being enslaved. It takes true courage to be an individual and turn against your masters, no matter which authority figure you are identifying with as a defense mechanism, whether they be your parents, God, the government or the banks, who certainly do not have our best interests at heart.

Identifying with authority in order to be on the superior side of the equation is the superiority complex, identification with the collective psyche, the false self, the persona. The superiority complex is a compensation for a deep inferiority complex, narcissism.

This is Stockholm syndrome, an internalized version of your parents, parental complexes, identification with your captor in order to avoid the anxiety of living in a nightmare, ruled over by tyrants, In an environment where you have no control. The only cure is to get mad, stop identifying with the sadistic superego, and turn your anger towards your abusers. Christianity is just a reenactment of this childhood situation, ruled over by a god who tried to kill us, who has absolute power over us, a projection of the parental internalization who scapegoats his children, blaming us for some sinful fall when sin is clearly nothing more than the same mammalian instincts that all other mammals under God's creation possess. This is a manifestation of our infantile self-blame defense mechanism. We must have angered the gods by eating of the sacred fruit, the shaman's mushroom, and stealing knowledge from the gods, we must have angered them when we stole the knowledge of agriculture and domestication of animals, when we harnessed nature and tried our hand at playing God ourselves. We must have angered the gods when we became aware of how others see us, developed theory of mind, social imagination, self-awareness, and covered our bodies. This must be why God punished mankind with a flood and made our childbirth painful. In truth this is all the result of the evolution of the prefrontal cortex and a larger head. The flood has happened many times and will happen many more times. It is time to stop blaming ourselves, It is time to heal from this cosmic guilt trip, this religious inferiority complex. We have simply evolved. The only gods that truly exist are parental complexes that we carry around within us, and project outwards. Shift from an external locus of control to an internal one. All the answers are within us, turn inward. The brain is a microcosm, an expression of the universe. It is complete within itself, possessing the duality of chaos and order, creation and destruction, all that powers the universe. Find solitude and discover the wise one within, only then will you be complete, until then you will search endlessly and unsuccessfully for someone or something to complete you.

[innermysteries]

My working theory is that the path of enlightenment is balancing the default mode network of neurons, between the hemispheres and possibly biasing it toward the right hemisphere. I assume that Zen exercises of focus accomplish this because they involve focusing with both hemispheres of the brain, focusing narrowly and broadly at the same time. When you are in nature, this naturally occurs. this explains the effects of nature therapy. This is also accomplished by hunting or fishing which is, I propose, what meditation simulates. These activities took up the majority of our time, living as hunter-gatherers, for millions of years, and requires a serene, yet alert, mind. This repairs the brain to its hunter-gatherer state before it became biased to the left hemisphere by language, rationality and imposed order, leading up to civilization, a left brain biased environment which then exacerbated the bias towards the left hemisphere.

This also repairs the disassociation between the hemispheres and between the cortex and the limbic brain, otherwise known as borderline and narcissism, that occurred during the infant trauma of being born into a hospital and raised in a left hemisphere oriented, modern society, by parents who have, unknowingly, been a part of a systemic normalization of a culture of brain damaging, narcissistic parenting styles.

[innermysteries]

Empathy is theory of mind, the ability to imagine what another is experiencing, feeling or thinking, recognizing differences in the way others think from one's own way of thinking, and the motivations behind the actions of others. This must be a function of the right hemisphere because a narcissist does not possess empathy. Theory of mind only exists in humans and therefore must also originate in the prefrontal cortex. The right hemisphere is oriented towards social relations such as reading body language and facial expressions. The narcissist's lack of empathy just confirms the extreme one-sidedness towards left hemisphere bias, and lack of integration with the right hemisphere. This also shows that empathy is not an emotion, not a mammalian instinct, but is the use of imagination. This explains the lack of empathy in our culture which is heavily left hemisphere biased. This explains why Jesus and Buddha teach empathy, they demonstrate characteristics of an integrated, balanced, mature and enlightened person.

[innermysteries]

The more wealthy a person is the more narcissistic or egocentric they are. This pampered, spoiled immaturity, or lack of neural integration, this already existing left hemisphere bias is exacerbated when a person can use money to solve all their problems. Character cannot be developed due to a lack of adversity and suffering. Wealth also fosters grandiosity over humility and having a superior socioeconomic position, strengthens the superiority complex, which is a defense against the negative self-appraisal originating in the right hemisphere.

In short, the further removed a person is from a hunter-gatherer way of life, the further from nature, the less the brain develops. A wealthy person can afford to remain in an adolescent state of psychology.

And when wealthy, narcissistic people are idolized, such as Donald Trump, or Kim Kardashian, then narcissism becomes something that people actually aspire to, It becomes a sign of status.

And in this kind of left hemisphere biased society even the mainstream, popular music is no longer a journey into the inner world but becomes a rap star incessantly talking much like the quiet contemplation in the temple has become a place in which a preacher stands at the front and yammers on about a literal interpretation of a collection of mythologies that are clearly to be interpreted as metaphor, and yet he does not have the eyes to see and so the blind leads the blind. And yet these people feel compelled to come to me and share their gospel of truth as if I had not heard it since I was a baby, condescending from some superior position of divine authority, while In reality, they remain spiritual kindergarteners.

The Bible, along with all other religious texts, and all mythologies we're written by the human brain, and so of course it is talking about itself, processes within the psyche, in story form.

Only the right hemisphere can interpret metaphor. If you cannot interpret these things metaphorically then it should be obvious that your right hemisphere is not connected neurologically to your conscious mind. Then you must choose nature, choose to meditate, to do whatever is necessary, including extreme measures such as dropping out of society, to stimulate the right hemisphere and to stimulate neurological integration. Or you can choose to remain forever stunted in your psichic maturation, forever arrested in your neurological development.

The grateful Dead told us what the experience of the right hemisphere is like:

Ripple in still water

When there is no pebble tossed

Nor wind to blow

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty

If your cup is full, may it be again

Let it be known there is a fountain

That was not made by the hands of men

There is a road, no simple highway

Between the dawn and the dark of night

And if you go, no one may follow

That path is for your steps alone

Like Odin, you must make the sacrifice, give up an eye at Mimir's Well for the ultimate truth, give up your old way of seeing the world for a new kind of vision, see the world as it truly is. The two hemispheres see the world completely differently. Give up your old ego structure, ego death, death and rebirth, be born again. The descent into madness, the descent into hell, this is psychosis and, naturally, the ego, the structure of personality constructed by the left hemisphere, the box, has defenses to protect this from occurring. It wants to maintain homeostasis, the default mode network of neuronal activity.

[innermysteries]

When the doors of perception are cleansed we perceive the world as it truly is, infinite. This is how the right hemisphere perceives reality. This is why the religious experience and a truly religious attitude involves stimulation and integration of the right hemisphere. And this is what we call enlightenment or a relationship with Jesus, or the mystical divine union of opposites.

If the religious experience is the human brain experiencing its undiscovered self, and all truly supernatural phenomena are only found in literature, and this literature, these mythologies, including religious texts, are products of the human imagination, the brain describing it's own psychological phenomena, then psychology and neuroscience are the true religion. If there are no devils, demons, angels, spirits, or gods apart from literature then the universe is composed of nothing but plants, animals and minerals. If this is true then we are the universe, and the universe is us, the universe is alive and it is consciousness. The universe creates brains and brains are an expression of the universe.

And unlike religion, this theory does not conflict with science, for we know that every particle longs to be a prebiotic molecule such as nucleic acids or cell membranes. If given half a chance they will bond in the most extreme environments into these biomolecules, All by themselves. What do we have is a self-assembling universe In which no God is necessary to create it. When you have a theory like religion that does not work together with the fundamental scientific principles then you have a theory that does not work. When you have a theory of the spiritually underlying principles of the universe that works alongside fundamental scientific principles then It is clearly the favorable theory of the two.

And just as these particles long to assemble themselves into conscious life forms, when the proper conditions are present, the brain too, no matter how disassembled or fragmented, longs to assemble itself into the cosmic mind when given the proper conditions.

[innermysteries]

The majority of the function of the left hemisphere is language, navigation, calculation and acquisition of material resources, grandiosity, superiority, dominance, anger, aggression and jealousy, order and structure.

So if we combine order, structure and dominance, what we get is a system of rules as a means of omnipotent control. What we see here is not only the characteristics of the left hemisphere but also all the characteristics of the average person, all the characteristics of a grandiose narcissist, and all the characteristics of God. So we see here that God did not create man in his own image but man created God in the image of the left hemisphere.

Controlling, jealous, prone to bouts of rage, intimidation, blaming, shaming, scapegoating, failure to take responsibility for his shortcomings as a parent. Well if I'm angry and I kill you with a flood then it's obviously your fault. We created a father figure to blame us, rule over us and hold us to impossible standards of perfection because that is what feels comfortable and normal.

Unaccepting, disapproving, judgmental and punishing. Conditional love, I love you if you follow the rules, otherwise you spend eternity in hell.

And of course, most of the time he gives us the silent treatment, that's how grandiose narcissists punish.

The left prefrontal cortex could be thought of as the architect of civilization.

Order, structure, mapping, rules, principles, legality, logistics, legislation, resource acquisition and distribution, categorizing, organizing, language, law, mathematics, planning, economics.

Civilization is powered by slavery. The left limbic brain is manic, grandiose, optimistic, obsessed with status and dominance. The seat of anger, aggression, sadism, cruelty, jealousy, malice and destruction of life. It is pride, envy, murder, self-centeredness and self-interest.

It is never satisfied, It wants bigger, better, faster, more.

I think this is probably why Buddhism teaches freedom from desire.

I think this describes Sauron in the Lord of the rings.

Interesting that the conflict is resolved by destruction of the split-minded Gollum.

The ring has to be unmade in the place where it was originally made, this sounds like the primal wound. The conflict must be resolved deep within the psyche at the location of the original wounding.

The ring that corrupts and splits minds, the splitting, passed down for generations.

I think this mythology symbolizes the left hemisphere as the architect of war, which it very much is.

[innermysteries]

After nearly 2 years, I finally understand why I had to undertake this journey of voluntary poverty and endless wandering around the United States. Living as a homeless person simulates the vulnerable state of infancy in which I am completely dependent on a society that neglects, abuses and abandons me. This reopens and reactivates the primal narcissistic wound that caused the compensating defense mechanisms such as primitive dissociation between the hemispheres of the brain, the source of narcissistic rage, and causing failure to successfully complete the early stages of psychosocial development, resulting in a perpetual state of adolescent psychology into adulthood, otherwise known as narcissism. This existential therapy, which has no guidebook, allows a person to go back and re-experience the trauma so that the wound can heal. Only then can a person succeed at these early stages. In short, this provides a second childhood. Moving around the country simulates the exploration of toddlerhood in which the child learns to succeed and fail on their own.

I think that the primal wound is healed by seeing that people and the world are on one hand sadistic, neglectful and abandoning, but on the other hand are compassionate, attentive and nurturing. And the key is to understand why this is, that we have two hemispheres, and that the universe is made of opposites. The right of passage during adolescence is the appropriate time to be circumcised and integrate the dark side of existence. The problem is that infants and children in our culture are exposed to suffering and pain during a fragile period of development that operates on the pleasure principle.

The only way that the infant or child can survive this trauma is to dissociate The left hemisphere from the right hemisphere of the brain, and to dissociate the cortex from the limbic mammalian brain. This creates the shadow and the unconscious.

Narcissism is a secondary defense mechanism against borderline personality disorder. In order to eliminate the psychotic right hemisphere from the equation, the two hemispheres split apart. So treatment for either disorder would be the same. First, a time of infantile dependence in which more pleasure than pain is experienced and trust is developed, until the will to live is affirmed, nullifying the death drive, also known as the secret death wish. The next phase would be to resolve the existential crises of the early stages of psychosocial development, IE: self-acceptance and autonomy vs. shame and doubt, initiative vs. guilt, competence vs. inferiority. Then the rite of passage, the adolescent phase, can begin where one begins to experience humiliation, pain, suffering, adversity and integrate the dark aspects of life. If one does not voluntarily undertake this sacrifice and suffer of one's own initiative, then life will provide suffering in the form of physical illness or disabilities.

Before any of this process can take place, however, a person must first shed their respectable, grandiose, adult persona, or false beliefs about oneself. This is a complete farce, since there are few if any actual adults in our culture, and the sad truth of our psychological state is anything but grand or respectable.

Since the truth of our psychological state is, underneath the social mask, that of a traumatized infant.

The pain and suffering that life deals out in order to initiate this process, If not taking voluntarily, it's not a magical phenomenon, but a natural consequence of the secret death wish.

Here's a theory about how the false persona develops. Since the existential crises of the early stages of psychosocial development are not successfully resolved, when it comes time to develop an identity, during adolescence, since an authentic identity has not been achieved, a person forecloses on a false identity that is simply based on the expectations of society and a mimicry of those around them or based upon false beliefs that one has been conditioned to believe, brainwashed, In other words.

I may have laid out the first guide book for existential psychotherapy and the cure for borderline and narcissism, two of the most serious, most common, and most untreatable psychological illnesses. However, One can see why treatment would be difficult since this plan of treatment dabbles in the realm of mystical unconscious forces at work within the psyche, and the extreme nature of these methods of treatment.

Although I would give great credit to both Carl Jung and the Tao Te Ching as guides to existential psychotherapy and therapeutic methods for these mental illnesses, however cryptic, prone to mistranslation and difficult to understand.

I believe that the Taoist master is, in essence, the original existential psychotherapist.

This is why the Tao Te Ching says: If you want to be given everything, give everything up.

And this is what my unconscious said to me, with cranium shattering magnitude, before I left home, and so I did.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

I believe that this is well depicted in the movie The Game, starring Michael Douglas. He signs up to play a mysterious game given to him as a gift by his brother. He is drugged, kidnapped and dropped off in Mexico with nothing and finds that his bank account has been emptied. He then begins a life-changing journey.

We spend our lives idolizing the wealthy and working to generate greater and greater amounts of comfort, convenience, safety and security, when, to the degree that we manage to acquire these, they actually work against our psychological healing and maturity towards enlightenment, balance, wisdom, serenity and a truly harmonious existence.

It occurred to me that another way that we seem to work through infant and childhood trauma is by reenacting it in monogamous, romantic relationships. Our mate becomes a replacement for mommy or daddy, and through these relationships and breakups we re-experience the betrayal, abuse, neglect and abandonment, activating the primal wound.

This may actually be the reason for monogamous, romantic relationships in the first place. We are the only primate that practices this kind of sexual relationships. Even tribal societies practice polygamy the way that other primates do, this is the harem of the dominant males.

Since we tend to replace our parents with romantic partners in order to reenact infant and childhood trauma, it is interesting that we tend to call our romantic partners baby.