innsjovide - Tumblr blog

[innsjovide]

she knows she’s not allowed to bark at the cat, so her loophole is just to make a bunch of noises that are not barking instead.

[innsjovide]

imagine watching Star Wars in theaters in 1977 and pointing at Darth Vader boarding a ship with Stormtroopers and then choking some guy, and exclaiming THAT'S CLEARLY JESUS CHRIST, THAT'S WHY I'M INTO THIS

[innsjovide]

You can't cut soft cheese in thin slices or wedges because it just gets squished, but you can with hard cheese, cause the protein holds it together. Casein point:

[innsjovide]

i love living in western washington. i can literally just get on the ferry

[innsjovide]

they're wrapping me in seaweed like musubi and twirling me overhead like a spear and then throwing me into the ocean like a javelin thrower gonig for distance

[innsjovide]

apparently male spiders in many species have evolved a behavior to catapult away from females after sex to avoid getting eaten but then many of these spiders will go back to the same females as before and attempt to have sex with them again 😭

[innsjovide]

never in my life did I think I would see the tik tok uwu fandomification of a late 80s porn film

[innsjovide]

[innsjovide]

brooo it was so fucked up at the club last night bro the dj was playing straight bangers like “babbling brook ft. deep woods” and “mourning dove remix” and everyone on the dance floor stood still completely at peace with and within themselves, all still trees in the envelope of the world. at some point in the night i sat and contemplated the beauty of all things it was sick as hell man

[innsjovide]

the fact remains that body horror is an expression of intimacy. a grotesque and perverse one, maybe, but intimate nonetheless.

[innsjovide]

A Tolkien ripoff but in space

[innsjovide]

I hate hate hate hate how dog friendly everything is in the city now. Barring medical necessity, there is no reason to bring your dog to a restaurant, there is no reason to bring your dog to the grocery store, there is no reason to bring your dog to the nail salon. Dogs do not need to go everywhere you go why am I being forced to be around dogs all the time

[innsjovide]

[innsjovide]

Today I realized its kind of a shame that @mysteryfleshpit is a national park and not another kind of protected land because you can sing "Mystery Flesh Pit National Forest" to the same tune as "Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated!"

[innsjovide]

joys of being an adult if I crave greasy spoon diner food I can just find a diner to go to

[innsjovide]

No fucking way the Tumblr user I keep reblogging Blue Archive girls’ feet from made this blog post