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my weird 1D dream

okay so I had a WEIRD dream and I have to write it down. so it started when I had to interview one direction, I started talking to them and I got on really well with them. Louis liked me so much he got  me VIP tickets to their concert. so at the concert, I was somehow given weed. I don't know what to do with it so I just put it in my pocket. at some point during the concert the boys all see me and wave or smile at me but when Niall came round, I reached my hand out. he smiled and bent down to me grabbed my hand squeezed it and then he kissed it. after the show I went backstage and louis basically said he wants me to go with them since they enjoyed my company so much. I said that is like kidnapping and then he proceeded to say then we shall be kidnappers.

I started to wake up but didn't want to leave dream world so I go back to sleep. but my dream shifts,

instead I am on a ski lift with my two friends. Niall is on the mountain as well. A person gives everyone on the mountain a task. get to nialls trailer first get to hang out with him. so me being me I immediately go down the mountain but I am not first it is a three way tie. me and two other random girls get there at the same time. my other two friends come up with a plan. distract the girls while I get to niall. while they distract the girls I go in his trailer to find niall doing something a little surprising. he is high as a kite. he is smoking A LOT of weed. so I tell him that it is a very important mission that when the other two girl comes in he picks me. he then asks me why he should do that. I then told him that I am here to help him. he said ok and I went outside, the other random girls come over and we all go inside. the guy who held the contest said that  niall has to choose. he immediately says that one of the random girls is out. so its between me and lets call her Beth. Beth starts doing sexy poses and puts herself out there. niall looks at me and smiles. he says I choose her. the other girl scoffs and struts off. I smile at niall while the host leaves. niall proceeds to ask me how I'm supposed to help him and I walk over to him hug him and say to get over this holding a bag of weed and painkillers. he sighs and says that it started after they went on hiatus. it was too much too fast. he got addicted to the painkillers he was taking for knee pain. the weed started when he went partying everyday. I promised I would help him and for about a month (in dream world a month is probably 30 minutes for this) we worked on his addictions and we started falling for each other. 

I started waking up again and  I was pretty mad so I again made myself go back to sleep. this time same ‘story’ different time.

so I was inside the ski lodge place that was lit af. I had Louis Tomlinson talking to me a lot and  soon this like flash mob thing started. he started singing to me and he was dancing and following me and asking me out. I was kind of freaked out by the flash mob and wanted to get away. I was hiding all throughout the lodge but apparently everyone I had ever met in my life was in on this flash mob. but eventually I found my friend who helped me sneak out. I suck into Nialls trailer and told him about louis. he was mad. he went to louis and they dance battled over me. that's like watching a chicken run around with its head chopped off. in the end I said it was stupid and louis grabbed me and kissed me which made niall furious. niall picked me up threw me over his shoulder and we went to the mall.

I woke up agan and decided that my dream got weird enough.

so yeah that was my dream and I am so sorry that you had to read that.   

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Sad Reality V.S. Fake Happiness

Why do we watch sad movies? To me its a bad idea... we get attached to something and its a movie so us as human beings believe it will be a “happily ever after” kind of story even if we KNOW its a sad movie. It is as if we have this everlasting hope that the movie will have a happy ending. Is it because we want a happiness for these characters or is it because we feel as though them having a happy ending gives us more hope for ourselves. Sad movies show us  all sorts of topics, sometimes too real for our own good. Since it might ‘damage’ our hope, the hope that demonstrates our trust and dependency on a good outcome.  So the thing is, do we face the cold truth of a sad movie or settle for the delusional fairytale of happy ending movies?

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Loneliness

I have been lonely for so long I don't think I can ever fully be happy. I am the confident one, the brave one, the outgoing one to family and friends but I'm really shy, terrified, and unstable. I feel as though we all go through life as if we are the only one thinking a certain way. But if we took panoramas instead of selfies maybe we would find others like us who are looking for someone to entrust. Someone who we can relate to, someone who we feel happy to be around. The underlying question is though, are we able to switch the camera setting?