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#worried boyfriend!!

ROSWELL NEW MEXICO ⇢ 1x12

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I just realized

Shuri improved the Black Panther suit so T'Challa would be safe, making it invulnerable to explosions and strong blasts. Safe against what killed their father.

Do you know what Tony added to Peter’s improved suit? A parachute that opens with voice command, safe against what almost killed Rhodey.

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bf: hey babe hold my hand

me: no it's hot outside

bf: but bab-

me: it is 97 degrees. i do not want my hand to be dripping in sweat by the time we let go. satan himself has cursed this day with this heat, i'm not going to feed his hunger with my pain.

bf:

me: :-)

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Holy shit.

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Planer Roll

Context: My halfling has an modified Halfling luck where if I roll a Nat 20 after Nat 1 I can use the spell Wish. The first time it works is fighting an elven champion.

DM: What do you wish for?

Halfling: IDK, I wish he can’t hit me next turn?

DM: You see the champion raise his sword to thrust at you. You react by rolling backwards, and right into the Astral Plane.

Champion: *Looks at sword* He just puffed into smoke. Is that normal for him?

Tabaxi (friend): Yeeaaahhh… no. No that is a new one, even for him.

Champion: DID I VAPORIZE THE SMALL ONE?!

Tabaxi: You just might have.

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Pirate Cat gives no fucks

**Backstory: I played a very energetic, nigh ADHD catfolk former pirate girl in the Rise of the Runelords campaign. The party is being controlled by myself and another player, with two chars apiece. The other player has a character that learned Create Water, solely to dump water on my catfolk rogue to make her just not. This is how it went the first time:

Catfolk: Guys! I bout a pseudodragon! His name is Kemkem and he’s f-ing adorable! *Proceeds to stuff Kemkem into the face of the inquistor*

Inquistor: *Gives snide grin before casting Create Water*

Catfolk: *Lowers Kemkem, and stands on tippy toes to press her face against the Inquistor’s* I WAS A PIRATE BIIIIIITTTTTTCCCCCHHHHH!!!!!!

Inquistor: *Hands catfolk a towel in defeat*

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A good use of time

DM: So you’re just going to spend the next fifteen minutes rolling on the carpet with your wolf?

Ranger: Yes, It’s comfy and I DIED!

Monk: I’ll join her. It looks fun.

DM: -sigh- The three of you roll around on the carpet while the important people are talking.

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"I think I can kill it." - Level 3 Halfling on the topic of a Kraken

So, for some opening context my friend has just started GMing and in an effort to teach them that not everything can go to plan I tried to kill a Kraken with a level 3 halfling wizard, a bag of holding, a cape of Mountebank and a pirate ship laden with banks of cannons.. The conversation went something like this, and I’ll be skipping the middle boring bits.

GM: 3 fish people have just boarded your ship, and a sudden storm is appearing around you as you sail to the new land. You see 2 large tentacles rise out of the ocean, and a moment later, many more and a body with hideous teeth, you are fighting Kraken.

Gunslinger(OOC): Wait a second, this doesn’t seem fair, isn’t that like a CR 25 or something?

GM: Yes it is, and I’ll give you a few turns to try to escape.

Wizard(Me): I think I can kill it.

The Table: What?!?

GM: Heh heh, okay well this is a good stopping point for tonight, we’ll meet again later and conclude this.

A few days later and a few secret conversation to iron out a plan with my gunslinger friend

Wizard(OOC): Ready for me to kill a Kraken guys? SINGLE HANDEDLY

The table breaks out laughing, offering to help me make my next character.

GM: Okay, you all ready? Good. You see on the starboard side of the ship a few lifeboats and a fairly clear exit, on the port side the Sahuaquin Baron and 2 Priestesses point at the shore line and tell you guys specifically to go.

Ranger: Okay, we gotta go guys we can’t do this.

Wizard: I run downstairs.

Other players, frozen with hesitation all take a bit too long, in a good effort (failed sadly) the GM attempts to egg them onto the boats with an attack from the baron on our fighter (Our least talkative and most hesitant player)

GM: The Baron attacks, dealing 15 damage, you are unconscious. GM Evil Laughter

Gunslinger: OH dang it, we don’t got an option we have to fight.

Wizard: I inverse by bag of holding dumping out everything, grabbing the alchemist fire I have saved and put it back in the bag. I’d also like to cast locate object in search of full gunpowder.

GM: With that we’ll start initiative.

I’ll skip ahead here, the fight was interesting to say the least and near the end the ship was nearly a pile of boards, all the PCs except myself boarded life boats and we making a valiant escape effort; a majority of the crew was dead. As some of you may have guessed during this time I have loaded about 500 pounds of gunpowder barrels in my bag with what can be best called a Macgyver detonator, the GM still thinks I will fail and hasn’t focused on me yet.

GM: The ship is collapsing you have about 1 round left WIZARD, what do you do? 

Wizard: I teleport into its mouth!

Everyone: What?!?

GM: His mouth is closed.

Gunslinger: Doesn’t matter, he can teleport through.

Quick look at the rules later

GM: Okay, fine you’re in his mouth now, what do you do.

Wizard: I flip my bag inside out dumping these barrels down the Kraken’s throat and with its mouth forced open I dive out into the water below.

A heated debate about how wet gunpowder won’t go off and anything the GM can do to keep the Kraken from dying comes into play, sadly though he was debating against two Engineering students when he is business Student. We eventually come to a concensous if I kill it I won’t keep all the xp and become a level 9 suddenly.

GM: Fine, you dive out and the gunpowder will go off next round.(Likely having a secret plant to save the Kraken.)

Gunslinger: I shoot the barrels

We asked him earlier if we could use Hollywood physics, he said yes.

GM: ….. It’s dead.

Wizard: I WAS RIGHT! AHAHAHAHAH, VICTORY.

Wizard (OOC): I hope you’re not mad man, I just had to. It was there.

GM: It’s fine, don’t worry. I’m not mad. Okay you all get to shore, WIZARD washes up a little later and infront of you is a large group of women in plate armor on horses. We’ll end it here for the night.

We later found out we landed in a nation that hates men, wizards and halflings apparently. I’m sure he isn’t mad, right?

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when will white vegans shut up

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apparently porn bots are now hacking into in-use accounts (I’m assuming larger accounts) and posting while the blog owner is still active. 

holy fuck.

why are staff so incompetent

rather than fixing their obviously very flawed code and development, they’re deciding to ban tits? fucking tits?

that being said, although it’s so unlikely this will happen to me, please know that it’s not me posting these links and photos. Please dont click on the links. 

oh my god.

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The rare book library at Yale University has no windows because the walls are made of translucent marble.

Source

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Paladin™: when you’re kinda feeling cleric but also want to Stab

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How to Appeal for blog posts you can’t reach

This was probably already covered, but just in case people are still struggling with this, here’s some tips on how to go in and clean up the mess made by the incompetent staff - and Appeal to review your incorrectly flagged posts.

Note: This involves both a web browser and a tumblr app. Both are necessary for this process - there might be other ways of doing it! But this one works like this. 

So, to begin with, we need to be on a web browser - and we need to find your flagged posts. I began with my most common image-heavy tags - art tags, fanart tags, etc. I loaded them up and then used ctrl+f to search for the terms “adult content”. This makes it easy to flip through the whole page.

The thing is, when you’re just on browser and looking at your blog, the flagged posts are basically hidden from view, and it’s nearly impossible to interact with them. 

They look like this:

But see that date on the bottom? If you click on that, it brings you to what LOOKS like a dummy page…

But if you look at the url, it actually still IDs the original post.

So what we’re going to do is - we’re going to copy only the relevant part of the original post. Everything up until the ‘hey-this-post-may-contain…’ bullcrap.

Now? Now we’re going to - wait for it - email this link to ourselves! 

No, I’m serious. Trying to open the original URL on browser will just redirect, so just copy+paste the url into your email. Make yourself a nice list and email it to yourself.

Here’s what mine looked like after a comb through my SU fanart tag.

Now we’re going to go into your mobile mail app and open that up. And when you click on each link - make sure that it’s the APP opening it, not your mobile browser.

When you do this, it should bring you back to the post - this time visible! And this time, you should have the ability to appeal for it with one click - provided you have the latest version of the Tumblr app on android….

For those of you on iOS - I’m sorry, I’m not sure if this method will work. :( Best of luck regardless.

And a big thanks to @shotgunheart for telling me about this!!

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au where padme lives and raises her two children thinking that anakin died on mustafar and works behind the scenes in the rebellion

and anakin/vader thinks that he killed padme

and they both think the other is dead and vader hates the shadowy leader of the rebellion and padme hates the emperor’s black-suited attack dog

i just have a lot of ideas about this idk

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i’ve seen several people blurred who had no idea they were until somebody told them, so like, maybe if you see somebody you’re following and they got blurred you should let them know? just in case