insomniac-sadness - Tumblr blog

[insomniac-sadness]

~LyricsArt

[insomniac-sadness]

“Would you still like me if [x]” lmao people don’t even like me how I am now

[insomniac-sadness]

The urge to become just a fucking horrible person. The urge to just destroy my own life and watch my own downfall. The urge to make everyone hate me and feel good while doing it. The urge to pretend I'm better then everyone when I know I'm the scum of the earth. I want to be so angry and mean, I want to scream at everyone, I want to make them feel how I feel when they do the same shit to me. But I'm so scared of losing everyone again. I can't stand being mean or hurtful because god damn it little me knows how revenge feels. They know what it feels like to switch the script and become the bully, they know what it feels like to watch others feel exactly what they felt. And they lost everyone. They lost everything. They wouldn't want me to do it again. But I'm so fed up, and I'm so bored of pretending I dont feel anger towards others. I'm tired of being pushed around again.

[insomniac-sadness]

"Do these symptoms interfere with your daily activities?"

Bitch these symptoms ARE my daily activities wym

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Life for me is just trying to distract myself from my depression

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im literally so bad at having a body .

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God i miss cutting, everything is worse without it.

I wish i could stay inside my room and sleep forever.

I just want to isolate myself from everything and everyone

[insomniac-sadness]

Not to sound dramatic but the trauma of living with undiagnosed selective mutism for so long has ruined me and I don't think I'll ever be ok

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„humans thrive on social interaction“ not me though you guys stay safe

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middle & high school really are just 7 straight years of government-mandated anxiety attacks

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Avpd

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avpd is like I absolutely don't want attention, it makes me uncomfortable and I fear that it will open me to criticism

but seeing other people get attention for things I care about and do makes me bitterly jealous

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if one more person asks me how I am istg I'm gonna start smashing my head against the wall as an answer

[insomniac-sadness]

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feels like I'm wasting my life but I don't know how to stop :/

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I find it so weird when people don’t have anxiety like what do you spend your time doing if you’re not just constantly worrying?? Enjoying your life???? Wild.

[insomniac-sadness]

I really feel like im losing. Like I feel so controlled by my trauma, anxiety, depression, disorders and it's overpowering me. It controls my life. Everything in my life. I feel so paralyzed and so fucked up. Why can't I just be normal. How does everyone else make it look so easy. I'm tired, exhausted, really.