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Corporate baby
Well alright it’s been past my year mark so time for an update. Hmm where do I start! It’s Feb 18 ‘21 we are current living through a monumental public health crisis with covid 19. It’s almost the year mark of the lockdown which was the day after or before my birthday? In 2020!! Anyways, I am happy to announce that I am now employed (and by my dream job site) and it’s been a year since I joined CS (I actually just submitted my year end review so fingers crossed I get a good review) and well yeah so much has happened. Ya girl is corporate now, and truthfully overcompensated for the job I do but don’t tell my boss. Saddest part of last year (2020 and apart from the pandemic) is when my previous manager left the org and right after we talked about a possible life changing promotion! So not only am I manager-less but I also have to bring this convo up to my exec during my review and hopefully this promotion wasn’t falsely promised. Anyways I miss my old manager she was the best she believed in me she cared not only professionally but on a personal level as well so it’ll be a giant challenge to replace her. Oh I’m also in grad school! Kinda crazy how I didn’t think I would go to grad school and I wanted to get my ultrasound lísiense but turns out I would’ve been making the same as I am right now. But with a masters I can hopefully be in the running for a managerial position in my current department. (Do we noticed how boring I got ) this is a combination from being home all year with little to no hangouts from friends and only focusing on my job. I digress... grad school isn’t as tough as I would’ve expected! Especially since I’m in a working professionals evening program. Sucky part is I had to take out a bunch of student loans but I hope young Biden can toss us a bone and pass some sort of loan relief. Also I just applied for altuition assistance program through my job so I hope this gets approved and helps me out a little :) Hmm what else is going on... I got another pup her name is ginger but we call her gingi and she’s dainty and cute and a bad lady bc she just peed on my bed... Um but I think that should cover it, just focusing on work and school and oh I’ve been trying to read more so hopefully I keep it up. I also hope to install the treadmill back in the house so we can start getting hot and I’ve picked up vaping bc it’s an appetite suppressant but yeah nothing dramatic. Oh I also go to the chiro now, been going since July super expensive but hopefully some of it is tax deductible. I didn’t get any stimmys but I’m hoping I can get them when I file my taxes. First time filing them as an actual adult. Wow I’m actually super boring now and talk about work school and taxes instead of my feelings. Well to end on an emotion note, I’m turning 24 next month and I don’t wanna get older and I feel old my body feels achy what if I never get to retire bc of the lack of SSID benefits... alright I think this is a good place to drop off. To future self... when covid is over do fun stuff go to emo nite get trashed I miss going so bad oh and travel!!! Alright I’m closing this out now, byeee. -E
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December update
Okay well it’s December umm let me check...23rd @3:07am. It’s one of those days where I can’t sleep and I stumbled upon this old site and guess it’s time for my (almost) yearly update. I’d like to start off with the fact that I am a college graduate and yes life does get better. Getting a degree really does open a whole new world in the job market and I’m really grateful for being able to purse higher education. Currently I’m job searching and at first it was demoralizing bc I didn’t have a plan and I applied to unrealistic job but now I have quite a few job interviews to attend to and I really hope I get one as an assistant HR manager. If I do I hope to buy a car and make grown up decisions ya know. Not much has changed same old stuff, just ran into someone really odd today and it really shook me up bc I thought I had moved on from that era in my life and I finally felt happy and a sense of belonging within my friend group. Yet run ins like that happen every so often and it’s like the world doesn’t want me to move on idk what to make of it but whatever life goes on no need to dwell on shit like that. Anyways same old mans he’s had such a rough year but I really do think that there’s light at the end of the tunnel and he deserves so much happiness and good things bc he’s such a good person. But yeah just felt like updating for some reason, I’m 22 now unemployed but hopefully soon to be employed pursuing DMS certifications but conflicted on whether or not to start school in March or September but yeah other than that everything’s cool and chill and yeah see ya next year.
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Awkward
Dec 19, 2017 @4:53am. Yes I’m aware I have only been updating yearly and on December for some weird reason idk. I feel like fall quarter just hits me like a train and I have a lot to vent. Well first thing id like to touch base on is the fact that making new friends in college has been so hard for me. I somehow blame it on my relationship that has distanced me from persuing a peer to peer relationship but what if it’s actually me. Idk it’s my third year, it’d be cool if I did have some new friends but I’m just trying to be happy. I’m stressed about school well not stressed but just defeated bc of ls4 like I didn’t even try. But oh well. Hmmm well something I am excited about it getting my birth control out of my system. I hope that finally regulates my body and I finally shed the pounds I blame on the birth control. Notice how I said I since I’ve been eating a shit ton and not excersizing but I always have to find someone/thing to blame. Also I’m 20 almost 21 in three months and I’m planning to go to Vegas so we shall see if that works out even tho I don’t have high hopes. Okay in a few weeks it’ll be my two year anniversary with my bf and I’m honestly content with us. We don’t fight we just bicker we make up we spend a whole bunch of time together and we’re in a stable situation. I’m just scared that stability doesn’t make me too comfortable or make me bored and want something new. Anyways I titled this excerpt / update awkward bc that’s how this stage in my life feels awkward. Mostly because I don’t know where I belong or who I am or who I’m trying to be. Society makes you choice a career path and forces you to grow up and you don’t even have time to grow as a person and figure out who we are. Because of this I believe that my life now is just awkward. I’m not happy I’m not sad well actually I fluctuate but predominately I’m just awkward I’m just there I’m existing but just there. Idk how to describe it but I have put some thought in going to therapy and maybe talking to someone would help. Ive mostly thought and been told that my upbringing has been pretty untroubled and I’ve made myElf believe that even though there has beeensome bumps in the road that I might have not addressed properly and that’s prohibiting me from growing and evolving as a person. Maybe I’ll try it and I’ll see how I feel. I’m not sure but for now all I can say is that I feel...awkward. Till next time. -e
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Grateful
Apparently I only update when I'm sad so here we go again. It's finals week I need to wake up at 5am for work and it's 2:12 so that's great. Got into a fight with current bf and it was all bc he thought I was cheating on him with someone I was studying Chem with. Apparently he has a delusional idea that I can only text him and that I shouldn't study with other people, crazy to think people like that still exist. Anyways really stressed out bc of Chem it's been quite a challenging roller coaster of a quarter but if I do decently on the final I should pass. Another class to worry about is anthro bc the first midterm was horrible and the essay was also horrible and now it's all in the hands of finals. So yeah if I have to retake it that'll be a pretty demoralizing step backwards. Not the end of the world tho. It'll all be good, god had good plans for me he will not let me fail. Well anyways relationship= shitty, don't get me wrong we were so good for so long but was it a fluke? Idk well see. I'm just ready for winter break going to work at Human Resources from the 12-22nd then I get to spend time with my family. I'm looking forward to that. All in all life is great I'm healthy I go to a great school and most of all I'm grateful. God has a plan, everything happens for a reason. In god I trust
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How to move forward
His trust issues are tearing this relationship apart, it's falling and apart right before me. And there's nothing I can do to stop it. Help
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Hugee Update
Spring quarter @ Ucla Sunday April 3,2016 Okay well obviously I'm in college now and I just turned 19 and to answer old me's question no not much is different just the independence in college and the stress to perform well. Anyways let's start from senior year of hs bc I that's where shit started to hit the fan. I started dating this guy my senior year and that lasted about 1yr and 2 months I believe and then something happened that turned everything around but I'll touch upon that later. Um he was my first I was in love everything was great but towards the end we started fighting more and more and eventually the love subsided. During my second quarter of college rose and Carlos started visiting me and that's when I started talking to Carlos more and as you can guess we started hooking up. The instant that happened I broke up with Gus and told him I had feelings for a Ucla guy bc I couldn't tell him it was the one person I told him not to worry about. Anyways I told rose and she freaked out and point of the story is we don't talk anymore and yeah. Rose eventually told Gus that it was Carlos so he freaked out and well it wasn't a good time but now him and rise are best friends and they go out to the beach and to eat and well i wish them the best honestly. Carlos said the L bomb two months in and I wasn't ready but I said it back and now it's 3 months and I still think I'm not at that level yet but yeah. I'm honestly really happy with him although he does have some flaws but I'm willing to work with him to make us work. We've both sacrificed so much to make this work so I'd be a huge let down if we lost all of our friends for nothing you feel? But yeah I got really close to Yazmin and Julie so they're amazing for putting up with me umm my roommates are really cool and they both like Carlos so that's great. School has been good so far not so sure about this quarter because of my ls1 class but I hope it's like stats all over again and I get an A in the end lol. Anyways that is my huge update on how life's going and I'll hopefully update more often... laters
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So.. Beto wants to bang me and rose is banging Mario and I'm addicted to cigarets oh and I bombed the ap calculus test. You could say like is great rn .-.
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Today's talk with Beto totally changed my perspective in life. Like how can someone with such little time on this earth experience so much pain and suffering? Just wow I've learned a lot today and I actually cried... Like me crying doesn't happen very often( especially in school). But his struggle was seriously too real, something I wouldn't be able to overcome if it was me in his shoes. Much respect to him, his positive outlook in life and he even made me laugh! A GENUINE LAUGH. A laugh I haven't experienced during school, and I thank him for letting me learn from his experience and make me treasure the positive things I have in life. Thankyou Beto
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But we didn't see a movie so I was upset that making out wasnt an option :(
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