intellectus-arcane

[intellectus-arcane]

Similar spell to the ones used to reduce the damage of falls. Reduces the density at the moment of angle change within the material (where pen meets paper). Must write on paper 'gem' so it knows what material to reduce. Range ~3 inches

it's kinda fucked up we don't have real enchanted jewelry like i wanna go to micheals and buy a ring that makes my pens use 10% less ink when i wear it or something

[intellectus-arcane]

Ah the rabbit gun. Outlawed in every civilized country except the Ætheric, where it's technically considered a source of rations

Most people assume that it works via a modified version of the spell that allows a performer to pull a rabbit out of a hat, but anyone who knows anything about magic could tell you that the difference is the hat is actually just a portal spell hooked up to a rabbit enclosure, and anyone who has seen the performance could tell you the difference is that the performer takes several moments and sometimes will have to go in to the shoulder.

The rabbit gun actually works by being loaded with capsules of a two part gel containing rabbit eggs and sperm that are punctured when the magazine is inserted into the gun. Each pull of the trigger A: pumps a little gel into the chamber and B: releases the slide. The slide carries it's samples of gel through a series of seals designed to make them fertilize (Necromancy), develop (Necromancy), and grow into a nearly full sized rabbit (Necromancy and an area of enhanced time flow). At the end of this the rabbit is pushed through the large cone at the end that attaches it's payload to the energy from the planet's orbit, launching it at a speed that renders the fact that it's a rabbit entirely irrelevant.

Now to those of you wondering why they fire rabbits instead of say... a rock: congratulations on having your head screwed on straight and not being dazzled by simplified descriptions of magic. It's harder than it sounds. As your reward I shall tell you that it is rabbits because living things are easier to hook up to large sources of energy via magic, and rabbits reproduce and grow quickly. As a result we have an era of our history where it was popular among some groups to attempt each other's murder by weaponizing the shortest, most baffling lives on record

A rabbit-shooting gun from Kris Kool by Caza

[intellectus-arcane]

It feels like it's almost every day that someone comes up to me and asks

"Researcher, how do you enchant items?"

Which always baffles me because enchanting items is incredibly simple, all you need is magically conductive material such as amber ink, celeste sand,  or living silver (most bodily fluids work as well, to varying degrees. This is how most enchantments were done in days gone, and resulted in an incredibly gross competition in my third grade class) and the knowledge of the rune you wish to inscribe

Most runes are what we call C runes. This is a bit of a cheat around an old academic argument about whether they should be called "classic runes" because they are the old style of symbolic runes that have been around since the dawn of enchantment and gave us the name runes, or "common runes" because if you have an enchanted item then it's probably done with these and might have been made by your neighbor Tom. Either way C runes use symbols that cause effects. A wind symbol and an arrow might cause a cool breeze from your fan, or a fire rune in a circle might be what powers your stove top without lighting your house on fire. Either way it's simple enough and I highly recommend making a visit to your local library to check out a book on how to do your own.

The other type of runes does not have a cheat for its name, so I'm just going to refer to them as "rare" runes because I have tenure. Rare runes popped up after we entered the Computing Age, and are modeled after code. This gives them the ability to be much more complex and do things we never thought possible with precision that would baffle our ancestors! In fact, you're probably reading this thanks to the fruits of this sort of computing based enchantment via enchantment based computing! The other name for this kind of runes is "professional runes" and the difficulty curve shows why. If you're intent on learning these kind of runes I recommend taking a class.

And that's it! That's all you need! Seriously! Now go enchant things! Make your underpants smell like roses! Make your roses smell like underpants! The world is your oyster!

[intellectus-arcane]

This is simple enough item!

The simplest way for it to function would be to make a rather large ring and enchant it to slowly expand and contract (to a set minimum) based on pressure, changing it's density to compensate for the subtracted length. Too little pressure? It shrinks snugly around your finger, too slow to raise alarm. Too much? It expands, again slow enough to cause panic.

The hard way would be to make it telepathic to control it's size based on the wearer's feelings of want and then panic and to store the extra material in a pocket dimension, but that's a bit like making an underground grow bunker so you can plant tulips

cursed ring but the “curse” is that it’s just a biiiit too tight so when you try to take it off you get kinda scared that you’ll never get it off but like it’s fine it comes off eventually

[intellectus-arcane]

Hello! I am a researcher at the Avalon Institute of Magic (and other higher learning) A.I.M, the best place to learn almost anything of worth!*

We have started this blog as part of a grant aimed at raising the magical literacy level of the population, so feel free to ask me about any old magic you come across in your day to day or what we're doing in our labs and I'll try to explain it best I can!

[intellectus-arcane]

so, there's this patch of grass on my lawn that is always green. it's not a different type of grass, and it's not like it gets any special attention that the rest of my lawn doesn't. what's up with that? is it dangerous?

I suppose it depends on what you mean by always green! And dangerous!

Is it year round? Does it move? Is it a mound? Is anyone around you getting sick? Has anyone disappeared recently?

Some plants thrive, magically or no, where others do not because they are being given resources the others aren't! For example: if the patch moves and people are getting sick then you might be dealing with predatory plant life! Like a vampiric terrarium turtle. If it doesn't move and someone has disappeared recently then their corpse might be buried there! Contact your local authorities!

Both could be described as "always green" and both could be described as dangerous

[intellectus-arcane]

i found this cool oil lamp that seems to never die, even when underwater. is this a science, or a magic? 🔥

I'm going to be honest with you: it could be science? I don't know that it's not! They're a department over and they're constantly doing weird stuff.

Here is a way to check if a fire is magical or scientific:

A standard flame needs three things to exist; fuel, oxygen, and for the fuel to have reached it's ignition point... So heat, I guess.

Magical flames require practically none of that! They require only mana and will continue even in anaerobic environments or without fuel!

So there are some questions you can ask yourself.

Is the flame being provided with fuel? Since you said it was an oil lamp there's a solid chance that it is

When you place the flame underwater is the flame protected and being given air? This might be a glass container or even an enchanted bubble! It's possible that the flame is standard combustion and the lamp is magic!

Does it need lit by standard means? A match? Lighter? Flint?

Where could it be getting mana? Contrary to what some flim flam men might have you believe there is no such thing as something that runs forever. If it IS magical then it must be getting it's energy from somewhere.

If it is a miraculously nice lamp it might be attuned to run off of ambient magic. In which case it will run effectively forever, but it may interfere with other magical objects.

It also may be attuned to a large power source. In which case it will likely have begun to weaken or even gone out after several days to a few weeks. This is likely if you found it in the shop of a dealer, as they like to advertise they never go out (due to environmental factors)

Lastly it may be powered by you. There are unfortunately no shortage of harmful enchantments out there, and if it runs off of you this certainly would be one of them. Slowly draining you if mana untill you die of exhaustion. Fortunately this is the one with an easy test! Simply find a friend who you can pass ownership easily between and pass it back and forth a few times. If the flame changes as ownership does then it is definitely a cursed object harmful enchantment! All you need to do then is hire a layer to draft paperwork to transfer ownership to a plant you don't need! Most lawyers will do this for cheap, and some will give out prewritten ones for free! (Though they still charge for notary services)

(You are probably safe if it doesn't, but if you still begin to feel abnormal tiredness then it may be passed on a different way, and you should contact your local Curse Breakers.)

[intellectus-arcane]

i want to be a vampire, but i don't have any vampire friends to turn me. if i catch a bat and get it to bite me, will i turn into a vampire??

Ah! Fun fact! There is actually no connection between bats and vampires!

Bats are flying mammals that mostly eat bugs and fruit (barring one STILL UNRELATED exception)

Vampirism is a powerful enchantment that gives the bearer incredible power in return for the need to feed on blood

I'm aware of a certain famous vampire that gained notoriety by being able to change into a bat to gain access to the balconies of her victims; HOWEVER, that was an unrelated ability!

If you are truly set on becoming a vampire and have no one available/willing to pass it on through means of contagion then the way to do so would be through contact with a powerful entity capable of granting enchantments strong enough to warp your entire biology. I will leave the names and means unsaid, as if you are capable of finding those without my assistance then I'm fairly certain the institution's legal team can excuse my roll in potentially empowering a maniac

P.S. do not let wild animals bite you. You don't know where those have been