intentional-relationship

[intentional-relationship]

Identify your expectation filter and begin to understand its impact on your relationship

Unspoken or unrealistic expectations can quietly erode connection in a relationship. They often lead to disappointment, frustration, or misunderstanding – especially when neither partner is fully aware of them. The next time you or your partner feel let down, pause and ask: What expectation wasn’t met? Was it clearly communicated? Was it realistic? Did it change over time without being…

[intentional-relationship]

The Role of Expectations in a Healthy Relationship

Acknowledging expectations is the first step toward managing them effectively in your relationship. While expectations are natural – often even necessary – they can negatively impact your connection if they’re unrealistic or left unspoken. If you expect something from your partner that lies completely outside of their abilities, how can they possibly meet that need? Unmet expectations –…

[intentional-relationship]

The Power of Expectations in Relationships

We all have expectations – some we set for ourselves, and others we place on our partners. While having expectations isn’t inherently wrong, problems can arise when those expectations are unrealistic or, worse, left unspoken. Unfulfilled expectations often become the root of conflict, not necessarily because our partners don’t care, but because our preconceived notions can distort the actual…

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Let’s Talk About Commitment - Before it’s in Crisis

Commitment is one of the most important parts of a relationship – and yet, it’s rarely talked about until it’s under threat. Don’t wait for a crisis. Start the conversation now. Commitment isn’t just about saying “I do” or making promises. It’s about consistently showing up for your partner in ways – big and small – that reflect those promises. It’s a lived experience, demonstrated through…

[intentional-relationship]

Commitment: “More than words can say”

Commitment is the foundational agreement of a relationship – the promise that says: “No matter what comes our way, I will always be here for you.” But commitment isn’t always about big declarations or clearly defined promises. Sometimes, it’s expressed quietly, through small daily actions that might go unnoticed – unless you’re paying attention. It’s crucial to recognise that your partner may…

[intentional-relationship]

Showing commitment in a variety of ways can help confirm your commitment, whether it is formally spoken or not

Commitment is the foundational agreement in any relationship—the unspoken (or spoken) promise that says: “No matter what comes our way, I will always be there for you.” We’ve all heard the phrase “actions speak louder than words,” and when it comes to commitment, that couldn’t be more true. Words may affirm love, but actions anchor it. Sometimes, though, we miss each other’s signals – not…

[intentional-relationship]

Commitment can be clear when we say statements like, “’till death do us part,” but the way in which we show commitment to our partner is much less clear

If you took an assessment or are working through aspects of your relationship, or just reading this blog, not only are you likely to be committed to strengthening your relationship, but you are likely to be committed to your partner. Maybe you formally committed to each other by accepting a proposal six months ago or by exchanging vows at your wedding 46 years ago. Maybe it’s something less…

[intentional-relationship]

It’s critical to nurture closeness and intimacy in your relationship, but don’t forget to maintain your own sense of independence and identity

It’s critical to nurture closeness and intimacy in your relationship, but don’t forget to maintain your own sense of independence and identity. Communicate effectively with your partner to find an appropriate balance for your relationship. Application Start small. If you and your partner decide you are overly connected – schedule time to do activities independently, even if for just an…

[intentional-relationship]

Balance between “I” and “We” may not always be equal and it will change throughout your life together but have the conversation and negotiate an equitable outcome

Couples exist on a spectrum between “I” and “We”, but the key is to strive for a healthy balance that strengthens your relationship. Working toward or maintaining balance between togetherness and separateness requires healthy communication. Talk to each other about what balance feels like for each of you. It won’t always be equal and it will change throughout your life together but have the…

[intentional-relationship]

Discuss possible outcomes that provide a equitable balance between "I" and "We"

Working toward or maintaining balance between togetherness and separateness requires healthy communication. Talk to each other about what balance feels like for each of you. It won’t always be equal and it will change throughout your life together but have the conversation and negotiate an equitable outcome. Take time with your partner to discuss the following: How much time, on average, do…

[intentional-relationship]

Working toward or maintaining balance between togetherness and separateness requires healthy communication

Talk to each other about what balance feels like for each of you. It won’t always be equal and it will change throughout your life together, but talk. Maybe you and your partner are engaged or newly married and you are happy, in love, and feel more connected than ever – you’re more on the “we” end of the spectrum. Perhaps you recently welcomed your third child to the family and you have gone…

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There is no perfect way to balance being together and apart from your partner: Balancing “I” and “We” requires communication

We all know that one couple who does everything together – he tags along to book club, she comes to watch the game. They share every leisure activity and rarely attend activities independently. Conversely, you know that other couple that seem to live completely separate lives – different friends, hobbies, and ways of spending their free time. We can recognise this variety and acknowledge there…

[intentional-relationship]

Consider spending an upcoming date night taking a personality assessment to learn even more about each other

Personality tends to remain stable throughout life, so don’t expend energy in your relationship trying to change your partner’s personality, instead put in effort to understand each other’s personality as well as your own. Application: Begin acknowledging aspects of your personality, as well as your partner’s in everyday life. For example, if one of you is high on social (extroverted) and the…

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Personality tends to remain stable over time: The idea of changing yours or your partner’s is a misconception

Personality is simply understood as the set of characteristics that lead to consistent patterns of feeling, thinking and behaving. It is one of those things in life that can’t change and it tends to stay stable over time.  Some might argue you can change aspects of your personality, or your partner’s if you try hard enough. However, this is largely a misconception. What you can do is begin to…

[intentional-relationship]

Your personality frames how you approach life and for some couples, having very different personalities can bring challenges

There are many personality theories and concepts that can help couples understand their own personality and that of their partner. Couple Checkup uses SCOPE to help individuals see how high or low they score on each of the five factors of personality (Social, Change, Organised, Pleasing and Emotionally calm). With SCOPE, it is possible to score high on all five factors (or low), and it isn’t…

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We barely have time for each other: Pick a reasonable time and decided on just how often you will “check in”

I’m busy. My wife is busy. We work full-time, we drive the kids here and there, we try to keep up relationships with our family and friends and after all of that, we barely have time for each other. But this month will be different; we are making a commitment to “check in.” A “check in” is a place in time allocated to communicating with your partner. This “check in” isn’t for discussing…

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Insight into personality can help when you and your partner work on strengthening relationship skills

Personality is simply understood as the set of characteristics that lead to consistent patterns of feeling, thinking and behaving. It is one of those things in life that can’t change and it tends to stay stable over time. Some might argue you can change aspects of your personality, or your partner’s, if you try hard enough. However, this is largely a misconception. What you can do is begin to…