intentionalnoise

[intentionalnoise]

The First Week: Introspection

Technically I’ve been here for two weeks actually, but this has been my first week of classes post-introduction. We all know that the first day of classes is all about going over the syllabus and making introductions.

The first lesson I had to learn was how to use Canvas. Canvas, for the uninitiated, is a “Learning Management System”, LMS for short. If you’ve used Blackboard at any point in your education, it’s basically the same thing. My professors are universally working to integrate this platform into their teaching methods along with Zoom. 

Put simply, everyone is figuring things out right now, professors and students. My professors are overwhelmed and exasperated by the shift, they’re used to handing papers out in person and being able to be in the same room as their students. Organizing assignments, modules, and discussions on Canvas is a frustrating process for all involved with permissions being messed up, old versions of documents being uploaded by mistake or documents missing entirely, confusing directions being given, and so, so many web links to readings/viewings/shared drives/etc. 

For their part, all of my professors are trying their best. No one has given up. My department is small compared to others, and my department from undergrad even smaller. Other departments have lecture classes with more students than our undergraduate, graduate, doctoral, faculty, and staff populations combined. There is no option for my department’s professors to give up on or phone in their classes, because the students are not anonymous, we will all see each other regularly, and have many more classes together in the future. So adapting to the digital world has been hard, but it is encouraging to see the effort being put into it and I can’t wait to be in classes once we’re on the other side of this pandemic.

As for the students, the state of the world has left us with mixed responses. Many people are tired, anxious, have trouble focusing. There are definitely challenges to having online classes, and I have to wonder if online learning was always this difficult for the thousands of people going to college online in years past, or if this is new. I think that part of the problem is that online learning is forced at the moment. There were certainly confounding factors which made distance learning a better, if not the only choice for individuals in the past, whether it was due to financial barriers, transportation issues, scheduling difficulties, or any number of other reasons.

I know someone who got their degree online, and that was a great experience for them. They honestly preferred the format, and it allowed them to travel and work while still earning their degree on time from a respected institution. I, on the other hand, don’t believe that I ever would have willingly enrolled in online classes. I would much rather have classes in person, and the university experience is important enough to me that I lived in dorm housing during all four years of undergrad, and plan to live in an on campus apartment for the duration of my graduate studies. Sidebar, I definitely would not be able to afford an apartment in the area around my university, so on campus is must be.

All this being said, I’m coping with Zoom classes rather well. Better than most of my peers from what I have seen and heard. Yes, I would much rather have my classes in person. I would much rather be able to see all of these individuals outside of tiny rectangles on my laptop screen. I haven’t hugged someone in 7 months, I’m dying for a handshake right now. Communication is harder, people have a force of presence that is lost in the digital format. Cross talk happens because we can’t effectively read the body language of the people we’re speaking to, and there is an element of improvisation that happens in person when making witty quips when the professors pauses to take a breath or wipe down a white board. There are no whispered conversations with the person seated next to you, you don’t get to see the tchotchkes and baubles decorating their bags and laptops. No informal conversations with the professor before and after class, no running into each other in the hallways or hanging out in the atrium, or by the food court. To be sensational for a moment, these are the interactions that make up humanity, when all of the little quirks and characteristics and idiosyncrasies the inform ourselves and others of who we are are on display. People in the arts, especially ones so heavily based on interpersonal interactions and communications as theatre, are struggling at a time like this, because of all of the things that we’re missing. This isn’t to say that students and professionals outside of the arts aren’t struggling, or can’t struggle, but I think that those in the arts are, on average, taking this the worst. 

But for all that, I say that I’m coping well. Because I show up for class with a smile. I try to make those witty remarks based on something professor has said (really mixed results, comedic timing can be hard online ya’ll). I’ll frequently raise my hand to share some insight or ask a question. I’ll even be the first one to speak up when a question is posed to the class. This isn’t who I am though. I’m a classic extroverted-introvert, I like to spend time with others for a while and can be very chatty and engaging, and after a certain point I would like to just leave and go be by myself. And my Zoom classes are happening where I would normally go to be by myself, so my worlds are colliding right now. But I want to put up a front of excitement and willingness to engage in the hopes that it reassures my professors and my peers that there is someone who, for all the troubles in the world right now, is happy to be there. 

And maybe I want to remake myself. Like so many people, going to undergrad changed me as a person. I don’t like the person that I was when I started college, but I liked the person that I was by the end a lot more. I think that I was well-liked and respected by most people in my department by the end, and knowing where I started I’m not sure how things ended up that way. I’ve grown since then of course, and I like myself even more, so I have been thrilled by the opportunity to present my new more awesome self to my peers in graduate school. If I was liked and well respected by the end of undergrad even after all of the growing I had to do along the way, how amazing is graduate school going to be? Who’s to say? It’s not a sure thing. 

What made me likeable in undergrad may be undesirable in graduate school. I think that I know better now how to interact with others like a mature adult, and how to seem agreeable, but I could be wrong. This is part of why I have interacted with others the way that I have so far this school year. Being known as the guy who makes Zoom classes better may translate to being the guy who makes people feel better outside of class. It may help earn respect from others later down the line, or make me memorable in the future (please hire me I was great to you in graduate school). Or maybe I’ll make an ass of myself. We’ll see.

This is only part one of how to win friends and influence people, the very personal please like me as a human being portion. However, I’m not going to graduate school to make friends, though that can be an important factor after graduating. The purpose of going to graduate school is to learn and hone a craft, which will help me earn respect for the quality of my work. I’m sure that someone, somewhere, at some time said something along the lines of, “You can get hired because people like you, or you can get hired because you’re good at what you do”. Well, I’d like to be both good at my job and well-liked. 

More on that another time when I go over what I’ve learned so far. I think that I’ll be sticking to topics relating to sound design and technology, but the occasional soft skills lesson or an introspective post like this one may come along from time to time. Maybe in discussing the design process of a show, we’ll see. 

[intentionalnoise]

An Introduction

Hi. My name is Aerik. I’m a first year graduate student at UC Irvine studying sound design. I’m originally from Maryland, so it was was a big move coming to California, especially during a pandemic. However, I’ve been thinking about going to graduate school for a few years now, and the entertainment industry is shut down right now anyhow so in that context there has never been a better time for it.

I’ve never had a blog or journal before, and I’m still not sure that I’ll enjoy having one, but I wanted to have some place to collect my thoughts for further reflection. I could always do this in a more private format, but maybe my musings can help someone who stumbles across them. In an ideal world I’d post every day that I have classes, but that may get spread out to every few days, or once a week. 

Format is yet to be decided really, but content will very specifically avoid talking about individuals or my department to prevent any issues for myself, my program, or my peers. I want to write about the things that I’ve learned, thoughts that I have about shows that I’m working on, or any research that I’ve done for or was inspired by my classes. Writing about how difficult it might be to work with someone or critiquing work outside of the appropriate venue can only serve to cause trouble. There may even be the occasional copyright issue, like working on a small production which the producer might not have the rights to use.

All in all, this should be a way to document the things that I learn over the course of the next few years. This might be technology or art, interpersonal skills and text analysis, everything that I find significant enough to write about. Here’s hoping for the best.