intj-problems-blog

[intj-problems-blog]

Hi hi I'm an ENFP and my best friend is an INTJ. I never know if I'm annoying her or if she even enjoys being around me. I'm totally entranced by her but I hate thinking its a one way street. How do I be a better friend for her? Would it be stupid to ask her upfront how I can be a good friend to her specifically? #howdoiseeyourresponseonthisthing

Ask upfront!  INTJs appreciate honesty and directness so she definitely wouldn’t mind it.

[intj-problems-blog]

I am an INTJ (male), and I'm in a relationship with a E-Sish-F-P. She originally asked me out, and I found her directness charming. We've been dating for 2 years, but the hardest part has been the whole social aspect. I've learned to tolerate the whole tactile part of the relationship. However, going to parties and other massive social occasions depletes me completely. (I suffer from migraines, and sometimes I believe that to be a trigger.) do you have any advise to cope with this? -Nauta

If you still want to attend these functions with her, then maybe take some migraine medicine beforehand to stave them off.  If it’s the length of the function that’s the issue then (and I apologize to the planet for suggesting this) talk to her about taking 2 different cars/have a way to get home that is not dependent on her so that you can leave when you’re worn out, but she can stay and enjoy herself.

Tell her how you feel about the issue, mostly.  Talk with her and find a compromise, your emotional and physical needs are just as important as hers.

[intj-problems-blog]

I'm a young INTJ, my mother gets worried about me not being social enough to survive in a world of extroverts, she wants me to open up, she knows Im an INTJ but she still (to an extent) doesn't understand, i need my me time but i guess im to much in my head to even be around people.. The only other INTJ i know is my sister.. And she can act like an extrovert really well Don't know how she does it.

My advice for you is PRACTICE.

Being social, charming, and charismatic can be broken down to a science of monitoring your own body language and the body language of others and reacting accordingly.  It takes some practice to appear social if you aren’t, but the benefits to learning to do so are incredible.

What I’m saying is use the gifts that being INTJ gives you–ie. analytic thinking, planning, and adaptability–to put on a bit of a show.  It probably doesn’t come naturally to you (it may to your sister), but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn how.  Be careful not to overextend yourself, start small by touching up on small-talk topics and attempting to make some minor conversation with classmates/family/coworkers.  

Alternatively: do your own thing.  If your lack of social interaction bothers your mom, but you think you’ll be fine, go ahead and do as you please.  We’ve never really been the kind to follow the crowd anyway.

[intj-problems-blog]

I'm an INTJ whos never really enjoyed dating or any romantic relationship. It's never been my thing, and Im so reclusive I dont think anyone would tolerate dating me anyway. But theres this kid in one of my classes that Ive got an awful crush on. I dont know what to do? I dont think he remembers who I am (we went to the same elementary school) and I dont know if Id want a relationship but I just really want to be around him and I feel idiotic bc I dont really get crushes pls tell me im not crazy

Nah, you’re not crazy.  I actually have the same sort of issue with romance and the like.

Just go with your gut, my friend.  Try not to overthink these emotions too much and just enjoy his company when you can get it.

[intj-problems-blog]

INTJs “flirting”

-Submitted by metadata-anon

[intj-problems-blog]

Hello, I know this may sound weird, but I'm desperate and need help.. I am an INFJ, and I have come very close to an INTJ from a year ago .. This girl laughs at my jokes a lot, She's has told me about his life personal. her family, a lot many things. But I don't know if she loves me or something. Would give me some advice or opinion? It's a very important to me. Sorry for my english, I'm speak spanish :/

The best way to find out is to ask!  INTJs are known for their straightforward demeanor and honesty, but honestly that’s the best way to go about it for any of the types.

(Sorry if this translation is terrible, I ran it through Google)

La mejor manera de saberlo es preguntar! INTJ son conocidos por su actitud sencilla y honestidad, pero la verdad es que es la mejor manera de hacerlo para cualquiera de los tipos.

[intj-problems-blog]

Thoughts on INTJ's and intimacy. I overthink relationships, obviously, but i mainly focus on what I'd be like if the other person is more cuddle and such.

It really depends on the person--I personally am a very cuddly INTJ once I’m comfortable with someone, but INTJs in general are notable for not being very affectionate.

A view on intimacy specific to INTJs comes down to a somewhat scholastic approach with a partner.  INTJs often consider verbal sparring, discussion, and talking about their beliefs with a significant other important to them--moreso than sharing that information with the outside world.  In this way, we seem to consider the exchange of such personal information sacred and convey affection less through physical means than other types.

[intj-problems-blog]

How would me, an INTJ, work with an INFP? I don't know if he likes me but I sure as hell cant figure him out. It's great.

The gist of it is that you’ll work well together and balance each other out, or you won’t work at all.

The extroverted thinking/introverted feeling dynamic between you may or may not clash depending on how they’ve developed to take into account other people.  Personal idealism and goals may get in the way when you communicate with one another, but communication and creativity is a strong suit of this pairing.

Also, check out this post.

[intj-problems-blog]

I've always tested as an INTJ and even though it fits perfectly, I also very strongly fit INFJ as well. Am I an INxJ? How do I know for sure?

It’s up to you, really!  Pick what you feel represents you most closely, and if they’re both about even then INxJ is a fine descriptor.

[intj-problems-blog]

Ask/Submit is open again!

[intj-problems-blog]

Hello followers!

I apologize for abandoning this blog for so long (at least a year) and leaving all your questions hanging, but I’m back now!  I have both the time and stability to resume modding this blog and answer your questions.

However, given that this blog has been dead for about a year, I intend to clear the ask box of all asks and requests sent.  This means that if you sent me a question or request recently, it will not be answered and I’d like you to resend it.  This is to avoid answering outdated questions and resuming punctual answers (and cleaning the overwhelming backlog).

Thank you for understanding!  I’m glad to be back.

EDIT: The ask and submit boxes are closed while I clear them out.

-Maxx.

[intj-problems-blog]

For anon: I have been in recovery from an (R)ED for nearly a year (I got in and out of it with logic and science!) and only used the online community of people using the same guidelines, which had links to scientific studies to support guidelines. I tried a therapist and a psychologist and neither worked too well. I may be going to a school counselor for depression/anxiety that hasn't been formally diagnosed.

[intj-problems-blog]

Re depression/anxiety: I'm a 100% INTJ who suffers from both, and during a time in my life when I required therapy (directly after my roommate's suicide), I found that it is best to find a therapist who understands the fact that we need to work things out rationally, and that we become frustrated when our own objectivity and ability to perfectly see and understand the problem still does not fix it. It took me 4 therapists to find a good fit like this!

[intj-problems-blog]

To that anon I suffer from depression, PTSD, panic disorder and anorexia. For me the best help was a professional and the right medication. Some days are tough but I can still get through them. A good support system is also very helpful.

[intj-problems-blog]

Anxiety/depression/PTSD/eating disorder. I mostly deal with them through extreme rationalization, ie- "this is a legitimate possibility, this is not, this is irrational, this is from the disorder." Usually once I identify something as part of a disorder, I can minimize it unless it's *really* the wrong thing for me. When it comes to how I handle eating disorders, that's usually a lot of micromanaging myself to do what's best for my body even if it doesn't feel like it's the best thing.

[intj-problems-blog]

Do you believe in dream interpretation?

For fun, I suppose, but nothing else clinical.  Anyone else?

[intj-problems-blog]

I was wondering how many INTJs there are out there with depression anxiety disorders (including eating disorders, panic disorders and REAL OCD) and how they discovered and deal with their disorders.

I do, both depression and anxiety.  They aren't that bad--not enough to medicate most days--but the only reason I got to that point was through a variety of self-diagnosis and speaking to a school counselor until I got the professional help I needed.

Anyone else?