intuitivebiologist

[intuitivebiologist]

i still get notes like daily somehow

hello

she ded

[intuitivebiologist]

The Ultimate EruHan Meta

Oh boy.  

So, I feel that first, I must preface this long-ass meta:

First, bless your heart if you read this.

Second, this is just for funsies. Yeah, for some reason, I find this kind of shit enthralling!  I have no idea why.  Regardless, this is not meant to shit on EruRi shippers, LeviHan shippers, or anyone in-between.  This is simply something I’ve been wanting to do.  Erwin and Hanji have a very underrated relationship, and I’ve wanted to highlight it for a long time. Years.

I also use “she” pronouns in this meta, but I think Hanji can have whatever pronouns.  Isayama has said it doesn’t matter to the story, so run wild.

This ship is incredibly important to me, and I hope to share my feelings with the fandom in a light besides incessant fangirling and stupid art.

OK.  Let’s do it.

I have read through the series thus far (right now, it’s late April of 2019) completely in Japanese, and I’ve done my best to read through English translations of each chapter as well.  Why Japanese?  Well, I’m an elitist.

Just kidding.

There’s actually a very specific reason that I prefer the Japanese to the English, and it has to do with the linguistic structure of the languages.  In English, there are certain things that we cannot change in our writing to emphasize something–the word “I,” for instance, is always “I,” and “you” is always “you.”  Right now, as I type this, I realize how limited the written English language is.  I can only show you emphasis by bolding or italicizing the words, and even then, there are things left up to interpretation.  

Japanese is quite a bit different, and though there is plenty of ambiguity used in this language (trust me, I’ve done studies lol), there are also parts that are more specific than in English.  There are, for example, numerous ways to say “I,” “you,” and other pronouns depending on the speaker, the listener, and other circumstances.  

It’s because of this that I prefer Japanese dubs and prints of anime and manga, respectively.

The last time I went to Japan, I came home with the first 14 volumes of Attack on Titan in Japanese, and this was the shit that dragged me into EruHan.

As is the case with most Americans, I assume, I saw the anime before I read the manga, but it was not until I read the manga that I started to ship Erwin and Hanji.  Why?

I’ll explain the details later, but one of the biggest reasons is that the bulk of their interactions occur in what will be season two and beyond.

However, they do have really important interactions in season one, aka chapters 1 through 33 of the manga.  Those moments serve as a great base for what to eventually expect in the latter chapters, when all of the heartbreaking shit happens. c’:

We never know for sure how Erwin and Hanji met, but we know that at some point, Erwin came to trust Hanji enough to consider her to be a competent Squad Leader, and eventually considered her as one of his right-hand men, along with Mike, and after a few years, Levi, too.  Hanji’s squad has a specific focus:  to study Titans as closely as possible.  It seems like a pretty dangerous job, but Hanji is a dangerous person in general.  

Erwin is generally known as a strategist both in canon and in the fandom, but for a strategist to do their job, they have to have facts to base their plans on.  As we learn later, Hanji is the source of those facts.

One of the most glanced-over scenes in the entire first season is when Erwin and Hanji are leading the Corps back to the wall after failing to secure Annie in her Titan form.  Hanji questions Erwin’s decision to send Levi off only after making him refill on gas and blades; Erwin reveals that his plan was based on Hanji’s information in the first place.  

In other words, Hanji is someone that Erwin trusts implicitly.  

But, we see the same thing with Hanji toward Erwin when they corner Annie in Stohess.

If you recall, Erwin and Levi are with Nile and the other Police soldiers during the rampage–Erwin left Hanji to call the shots.  Again, proof of trust in her abilities as a leader.  

However, I find it hard to believe that Hanji would have followed Erwin’s plan if it had been anyone else besides Erwin that proposed it.  Why?

Think of how much destruction the fight in Stohess caused.  It’s almost inexcusable, considering that in the end, Annie seals herself up and is useless as a test subject to Hanji and her squad.  Hanji’s first job is actually not a soldier, but a scientist; however, she trusted Erwin enough to not only agree to his plan to stop Annie at all costs, but also enough to be the one to carry out the dirty work.  

Additionally, Hanji questions EVERYTHING.  As a scientist, it’s only second nature.  I’ve admittedly seen a lot of people shitting on Hanji for questioning Erwin from time to time, but NEVER should it be interpreted as insubordination or disrespect.  Rather, Hanji is trying to acquire more information from Erwin to gain knowledge of as many perspectives as possible.  And, by questioning Erwin, Hanji serves as a double-check system.  Levi tends to follow Erwin blindly, whereas Hanji will question him almost as a test–as if to ask, “You sure? You thought it through?  OK, then let’s go.”

When thinking of all of this in anime context, there’s one more thing I’d like to point out:

The first OVA, Ilse’s Notebook.

In this particular OVA, most of the focus is on Hanji (thank god), and it expands upon what is briefly shown in the manga when Hanji, Levi, and his squad find the journal lying around.  The OVA starts with Hanji basically drooling over the idea of capturing a Titan–and no, it’s not just because she’s obsessed with the Titans themselves, but because she’s obsessed with answering the many unanswered questions in their world, of which, the Titans are often the subject.  However, when she confronts Erwin with the idea of capturing one, he turns her down–according to the dialogue, this isn’t the first time they have this discussion, either.

But, perhaps you noticed Hanji’s argument to Erwin?  When he mentions the lives they’ve lost in the Corps?

“Without making any sacrifices, we can’t gain anything!”

Doesn’t that sound familiar?  

“Someone who can’t throw something away can’t change anything!”  

Armin said something similar–do you remember whose ideals he based his quote on?

Erwin’s.

But, maybe, also Hanji’s?

It is entirely possible that Hanji and Erwin have had the same thinking from the start, or that one of them influenced the other.  

We don’t really know for sure, since we’ve yet to receive Hanji’s backstory (Will it even happen?  Sigh), but regardless, they think similarly.  OK.  That’s a thing.

As I mentioned previously, the bulk of their very important and often overlooked interactions are from season two (i.e. the Clash of the Titans arc) and onward in the manga/anime, up until…that thing called the serum bowl that none of us like to talk about.

If you recall, at the tail end of season one, Erwin was briefly arrested by the Military Police, then released.  Once again, you’ll notice that Hanji is the one calling the shots, along with Mike.  Erwin has effectively split them up (presumably Erwin, I’m actually not sure if it’s confirmed that he was the one to send Mike’s squad to watch the 104th?), with Mike doing the physical work, and Hanji being left to the strategic end of things–to a point.  I mean, it’s not as if Erwin is completely out of commission at that point (unlike Levi lmao). Instead, he’s working on his “big” project–to overthrow the government and get those traitors out of here–from more of a behind-the-scenes perspective.  So he surely knew that things would get crazy on Hanji and co.’s end, yet he trusted her to follow through and lead the Corps while he worked separately for a while.  

He doesn’t think to check in on her, either, until the report about Wall Rose and the traitors finds him.  I’m sure he didn’t quite predict all that, especially because Reiner himself was flying by the seat of his pants lmao.  He hears that Hanji and company suffered injuries, and that Eren has been taken away, along with Ymir, so obviously, being the Commander and all that jazz, he goes to check in on the Corps soldiers atop the wall.  Until he arrives, Hanji does not move–it’s only when she hears Erwin’s arrival that she moves, and it’s to talk strategy.  

This admittedly brings up something else I want to talk about with them: both Erwin and Hanji are so goddamn willing to put everything and everyone else first besides their own well being.  

I know a lot of EruHan writers play with this trope, but we didn’t even have to add it in.  It’s there.  All the time.  

I think Erwin is especially obvious, considering how far he was willing to go to reach his goals, and his dream.  However, Hanji is the same way when it comes to obtaining knowledge.  And, both of them want to win.  They are fighting to win.  In season three, Erwin refers to himself as a gambler–the same is definitely true for Hanji, if not even more so.

So, Hanji gets her ass in gear long enough to tell Erwin what she can, and once again, using the information Hanji gave him, and not straying from it once, Erwin formulates a plan, and the Corps sets off.

Erwin did not stray from her information, used it to fuel the plan, and lost his arm in the process.

Flash-forward to Erwin in the hospital.  Beardwin.  

Wait, no omg.

Go back to when they brought him back to the hospital.

We don’t see that, right?  No, we don’t.

But you know who else would’ve been in the hospital receiving treatment for burns and possible concussion, etc.?

Hanji.

Hanji probably saw the direct results of her instructions to Erwin.

Now flash-forward to Beardwin.

Remember, back about forty years ago when you first started reading this meta? Remember what I mentioned how the Japanese language has different types of pronouns?  It also has different kinds of politeness.    

In the Japanese version of the scene where Beardwin does the creepy-ass smile, Hanji enters the room speaking pretty casually, like “hey what’s up Erwin–oh shit Pyxis is here too” might as well have been the actual translation.  Her speech goes from casual to formal the second she sees Pyxis. Of course, up to this point, Hanji had always used casual speech with Erwin, but the stark contrast to how she speaks to Pyxis, who is a pretty easy-going guy around the Corps veterans, just drives home the fact that they are familiar with one another. 

In addition, we once again see Hanji give Erwin information, and boy howdy.  Does he take it and run with it.

So begins the Uprising arc.

This is the arc that just pushed me face-first into EruHan, to be perfectly honest.

This is also the arc where the language usage is the most important.

At this point, the three veterans (Erwin, Levi, and Hanji) are split up for a little while.  Levi and Hanji are sent to watch over the 104th while Erwin does his thing (again).  However, Hanji has a little “side project”–she is still keeping watch over Pastor Nick, until the Central Police murder him.  She and Levi torture them, and that’s a thing.

Due to the heavy focus on Historia and Eren, things are kind of quiet for the vets for a while, until Eren remembers some information from a dream, and yet again, Hanji brings that information to Erwin for him to put to good use.

This is one of the most important scenes in the arc, and for this ship.

First, note how calmly Erwin receives the flustered Hanji.  He offers her food and water without question and immediately listens. (An aside:  Erwin is probably one of the most patient characters in the series.)  After explaining everything, Hanji then asks Erwin, “What should we do?” (Another aside:  Don’t forget how much these vets trust Erwin.  Ever.)

Erwin’s at least one step ahead of everyone at all times, of course, so he has an answer, but part of that answer is pretty startling: Erwin names Hanji as the next Commander of the Survey Corps.  He then promptly leaves, with Hanji staring after him (be still my heart) and is soon arrested once again.

This is a scene that I can’t help but dissect, simply because there’s just so much there.

I’m also going to be bitter for the rest of my life that the anime strayed so much from the manga in this arc generally, but that’s not the focus right now.

So, okay, remember the pronouns example I gave earlier?

Hanji uses “watashi,” Levi uses “ore,” Armin uses “boku,” etc.  Most of the characters are very consistent with pronoun usage, and most of them default to either “watashi,” simply because they are in the military, methinks.  

Erwin, however (and unsurprisingly), is one of the characters who changes his pronoun usage.  In fact, he is the one who changes it the most that I’ve seen so far in the series.  He switches frequently between just two, “ore” and “watashi,” but what does this mean, exactly?  What is there to gain from knowing the details behind his pronoun usage?

We see Erwin using “watashi” most frequently in two situations: he uses it in formal situations as the “Commander” towards people like Zackley, Pyxis, etc., and he uses it when speaking with a “softer” demeanor, such as early interactions with Eren.  

Erwin uses “ore” as a Commander might–with authority.  It also seems to be his go-to generally–in other words, if he did not have any social obligations to worry about, no public faces to protect, he would use “ore.”

So, toward Levi, Erwin uses “ore” pretty much exclusively.  After all, though he respects Levi, he has no reason to be gentle or keep face–in other words, no reason to use “watashi.”

However, toward Hanji, Erwin almost always uses “watashi.” (I should also note, he uses “omae” with “ore” and “kimi” with “watashi” accordingly.)  The speech is more familiar, gentler almost.  I wouldn’t have given it much thought if it weren’t for the one time he does use “ore” toward Hanji.

That time happens to be when he names her the next Commander of the Survey Corps.

So, why the change?

If you recall, that scene takes place with them talking one on one about the note that Eren has left for Hanji to read regarding his memories of a conversation between Ymir and Bertholdt.  Erwin eventually has summons–ones that he is sure will lead to his arrest, and he then names Hanji his successor.  

To me, after seeing all of their interactions, I think that Erwin definitely shows some favoritism toward Hanji and holds a soft spot for her.  After all, if you think back to the OVA, Hanji was the one to really prove herself and stand toe to toe with him.  I think he admires such stubbornness, for reasons we can only speculate now.  

When I think about how he previously had spoken to Hanji, it was always so…intimate?  Like, “I value this person and their opinions.  We are close.”  Using “ore” breaks that down and instead builds a wall between them.  It’s like he was saying, “I’m serious.  This isn’t a joke.  You have to listen to me this time.”

It’s worth noting that I’ve spoken to a few other Japanese fans about this part, both EruHan shippers and not, and everyone seems to agree that it seems like he did it for the sake of seeming authoritative, to make sure that this time, Hanji would listen without questioning him.

Of course, after the fact, Hanji questions it.

And I think that just drives my point home.

If you think back, or rather, forward in the manga, we see Hanji get handed a lot of shit–from Eren, the general populace, supposed allies.  After one particular event, where Eren grabs Hanji and treats her like a piece of trash rather than his own Commander, Hanji escapes with humor, but behind closed doors, she feels frustrated and lost.  

“Erwin, this was your one mistake…  Why did you make me the Commander…?”

Erwin did not want Hanji to double-check him.  He did not want her to question him like she normally did.  He just wanted her to listen to him and take the order, so she did.  So it’s even more natural for her to doubt it now.  She didn’t get that chance in the first place–Erwin took it away from her, and she let him, because she trusted him explicitly.  

We hear about it constantly with Erwin and Levi, but don’t forget:

Erwin and Hanji’s relationship is also built on trust.

So, let’s go back to after the political arc–they decide to go back to Shiganshina, and we have what has come to be known as the serum bowl.  Yay!  Sounds fun, right?

NO.  FUCK THE SERUM BOWL.

But it’s important to dissect for the sake of this fucking essay.  

I’m gonna skip straight to the good stuff–it comes down to a choice between saving Armin or Erwin.  Levi is pretty much set on giving it to Armin–until a soldier brings Erwin’s body back, and he’s clinging to life.  Eren and Mikasa get hysterical, they fight, and it looks like Mikasa is gonna straight up become THE Ackermann, until someone interrupts them.  

It’s Hanji, and she’s injured and all alone.  At this point, she’s lost Moblit and part of her vision, and now she could lose Erwin, too.  This person she trusts and respects probably more than anyone in the world might die.  I think it affected her on more than just a personal level too, obviously–the Commander she entrusted her life and well-being to is on the brink of death, and she is supposed to somehow take his place.  

Hanji obviously takes Levi’s side, insisting that Erwin should  be the one who gets the serum and a second lease on life.  She pulls Mikasa away, holding her closely, and tells her that she understands what she’s feeling, what it’s like to lose someone you care about.  

But, “Erwin is the hope of humanity.”

Those are Hanji’s words.  They’re heavy.  So fucking heavy.  

If you questioned the respect and trust and love in their relationship (even just platonically) before, at that point, you really can’t anymore, unless you decide to be in complete denial.

However, if you’re caught up with the manga, you know how it goes–Erwin pulls a last minute “stunt,” then retires (cough) as Armin is given the serum and transforms into a Titan.  Levi chooses Armin in order to let Erwin die as a human and not as a monster, and tries to talk himself through the choice out loud.  

Hanji, however, has her eyes only on Erwin, and she is with him until his last moments of…pre-retirement…

Okay, but here’s a thing I really want to point out.

Flocke, the dumb bastard who brought Erwin’s life back (he’s not dumb for doing that, btw), is the one who brings up the notion that it should be Erwin who receives the serum, because only Erwin had the capability of becoming a monster who could save them.  That thought scared Levi, who held and continues to hold Erwin in very high esteem, and is what essentially pressed him into giving Armin the serum instead.  

Do you think that thought scared Hanji?

Though we never hear one way or the other, I really don’t think so.

When has Hanji ever feared the Titans?  

No, it’s not even just that–Hanji saw the Titans as equals.  She saw them as just a different kind of human, really.  

Think back to Sawney and Bean, wayyyyy way back.  Think about how she recognized their personalities, respected them, and loved them as the way that they were.  And she had no idea what the truth behind them was.  She had no idea at that time that they were humans.  

Think about how she treated Eren as a Titan shifter (before he started being …whatever he is now).  She respected him, was kind to him, and she didn’t even know him.

I think it’s safe to say that  her relationship with Erwin would not have really changed.  She would have probably respected him even more than before.

…There’s honestly so much more I could say about the ship on micro-levels, but I wanted to hit these big points because not only are many of them lost in translation, but they are highly underappreciated.  I get tired of seeing them left out of the main fandom, when it’s such a delightful, wholesome ship that has plenty to work with in both canon and AUs.

But, if you’re interested in hearing the smaller things, hmu.  I think about this ship all the damn time.  Everyone should have some level of appreciation for it.  

–Cat

[intuitivebiologist]

Did you hear? Yams said that Levi, Hanji, and Erwin are in a “flat relationship.” So basically that they care about each other equally! I really hope everyone will shut up about the shipping already.

It really frustrates me that we can't hear this from WIT, though. The anime creators don't seem to understand this at all. They can't even understand what them being comrades seems to mean..

[intuitivebiologist]

sincerely-petra replied to your post “// I got a call from a job agency saying they’re interested in my...”

A job that pays you justice ��

@sincerely-petra

// god i hope so

this current job, like- between the slight pay raise and the hours, my paychecks are twice what they were at target

but i thought i’d start getting paid a decent amount when i was hired on after being a temp, but no pay raise. i got a promotion recently and it’s a lot more stress for $1 extra an hour 

i’m feeling like i’m back in target again with feeling like i’m wasting my time somewhere with absolutely nothing to show for it; no experience, no good pay, no learning, nothing 

[intuitivebiologist]

// I got a call from a job agency saying they’re interested in my resume and they told me they think I’m being underpaid!! got a meeting this friday!!

If I do get a better job you may expect me on here more often

[intuitivebiologist]

// BTW, I know I haven’t been on recently. I’m busy with work and don’t have the energy to waste time on here when I could be doing other things (even if those things are as equally as lazy as reading comics, drawing, watching anime, video games, etc...)

I’ve been applying for new jobs recently and a lot of the jobs that I’ve been looking into are 35 hours a week or less (and still pay more overall than my current job, orz...). If I manage to get one of those jobs you can probably expect me on here more often. We’ll see.

[intuitivebiologist]

Dark eyes widened slightly at the sight of the blond standing there in just his pants, Levi’s tongue darting over his lips as he took in the sight. Stepping forward, he moved near on autopilot, determined to taste that warm skin, to feel it under his hands.

[intuitivebiologist]

Isayama Poses with Wedding Ring in New SnK Story Guidebook

The new SnK Story Guidebook, released yesterday in Japan, contains the first photo of Isayama Hajime showing off his wedding ring! Isayama shared on his blog back in December 2018 that he got married in 2018.

Source of above photo: @suniuz

Related News: Isayama Hajime || Photos: Other Archival News: Isayama Hajime

[intuitivebiologist]

I do not like anything about this face and my enthusiasm for Snk has been steadily declining… I still get angry looking at this torture Isayama makes him endure.

He probably lost his eye or both. Who tf knows.

[intuitivebiologist]

High heels won’t make you much taller Ravioli

[intuitivebiologist]

// as far as i can tell i just have one other thing to reply to and i’ll get around to it in a bit

if you think i’m missing smth you can let me know

[intuitivebiologist]

“I don’t know!” She repeated again, running her fingers through her hair. Gn... Maybe they should be quiet. She looked toward the doorway. There had to be guards outside, but the Jaegerists were... Strangely secretive and quiet. Would they even tell them to shut up?

“Death is death, yes. That titan was just laying there, it looked dead-- Steam was rising from it and it wasn’t moving. But then the steam turned around and began to re-absorb into the body. And then Zeke just walked out, naked, from its stomach. Obviously that titan somehow kept him alive. I don’t know how. Maybe it was one he was able to control? He was screaming at some point before we got to you-- The little boy that we captured accidentally ingested some of Zeke’s wine and was feeling shocks. I’m guessing he was able to turn the others in the forest into titans? Since it was just you...”

(Angst starter) this is all my fault.

“I wouldn’t say that. You were passed out, but when I found you– You certainly managed to kill Zeke back there.” She sat with her left leg curled up to her chest, her back leaning against the stone of some prison cell as she stare down at her right leg, bandaged up from being shot at. She should have known they could catch them while they were on horses, but she’d at least wanted to try. …At least she hadn’t gotten them both killed. And Levi had actually gotten treatment. Who knew Zeke could show mercy.

“He came out of a titan’s stomach completely alive and regenerated, but he said he’d actually died. You did kill him, Levi. This isn’t your fault. There’s… There’s some even stranger things going on.” 

[intuitivebiologist]

She nodded along, turning her head to stare out at the horizon. She’d never get sick of that view. That’s what freedom truly looked like. She smiled strongly, and at Moblit’s voice, she turned her head with her brows raised. He called her name. Not ‘Commander,’ not ‘Hange,’ but Zoe. It took her by surprise, but once she made eye contact, she smiled, her eye squinting as her cheeks pressed upward from the grin.

“We should come here more often and research together,” she told him, though at his words, again her attention was diverted. She looked down with his vision, and there it was. A star. She’d seen them before. This one wasn’t moving, however; dead? She reached out and grabbed it, handing it over to Moblit to inspect.

“Isn’t it so strange how things like this can be created? I always thought titans were the strangest thing someone could see, but I don’t think that anymore. I can’t help but wonder what’s out there, deeper. I’ve heard stories so far about giant mammals that look like fish, as big as titans. I haven’t seen any of that, yet... But I wonder what else could possibly be out there.”

Trip to the Beach

intuitivebiologist‌:

“Isn’t it beautiful? There’s so much more to learn, even if we’re stuck on this tiny little island for now,” she sighed, gripping Moblit’s shoulder and putting the animal back into the water for the time being. “I have to say– I think I’ll miss titans. I wish we could have kept one little friend to experiment on or something. But that wouldn’t be right, knowing what they really are and all. But at least there’s this.”

She drifted her fingers around in the shoreline, feeling the soft, wet sand on her fingertips. She still couldn’t believe it, honestly. How long had she wanted this, since she was a child? She’d made the mst impossible dream happen. Well. She, not really. All she did was invent a guillotine to kill titans– With Moblit, of course. Erwin was the one that really paved this path for them. Erwin and Eren and the others. She’d really just been along for the ride.

“Don’t you just feel… Free? It feels like a dream sometimes.”

“I do feel free, sitting here with you. Surrounded by all these things. I would have never dreamed about such things before. It’s amazing!” She would miss titans, wouldn’t she? Her curiosity, her love for exploring the world how they were one of the reasons he had stuck by her as long as he had. He admired her strength, her wisdom, even if it came with her getting lost in her work from time to time.

Though, he does wish that he could see the shore without the blurriness from his damaged sight.  Looking out towards the water, feeling the joy in his chest as he looks at it. He doesn’t mind that much, it’s still breathtaking even with his blurred vision. Does Hange feel the same way, not being able to see it completely but still overjoyed by what she does see? The way she runs her fingers through the sand picks up strange creatures that they’ve never seen before, and the excitement in her voice… She does.

“Zoe.” Her name feels strange, but he doesn’t feel like he should call her anything else right now. “Thanks for bringing me here.” He places the pink shell back in the water of the shore. Noticing something as he does.

“There’s a star in the water…”

[intuitivebiologist]

Sheesh. Teenagers... They always had to make things more dramatic than they had to be, didn’t they...

“I know, even Eren, even Eren... My point is, what does it matter? We don’t live in a time where everyone’s constantly dying anymore. We’ve killed all the titans and as far as we know we can succeed in having a more peaceful future. That’s what Onyankopon’s saying, anyway-- So now is your change. You can talk to her and tell her your feelings. Why not?” 

Not that there was any convincing him. She could tell what the problem was. He was scared. Sure, that was expected, and she could empathize. Even if it wasn’t Mikasa, admitting interest in someone is a terrifying prospect. But still... 

“Obviously you won’t be able to get over her if you haven’t after all these years. So you might as well act on it.”

intuitivebiologist‌:

“You sound like you’re trying to make excuses to not act on it,” she replied, as bluntly as she could. She gave him a head-tilt. Men did really confuse her sometimes. They could be so… Wishy-washy. Of course this was true of all people, but she’d met so many silly, immature men in her life. At least Jean had a reason to be immature. He was still a teenage boy, even if he’d gotten so tall. 

“I won’t tell you what to do, but you asked me for my help, didn’t you? If you want my help, you shouldn’t take it back and say that you don’t want to hurt her feelings by dying and that you’d rather keep it inside once I offer to give you some help. Besides, why does that matter? If you die now, she’ll still be upset. Whether or not she’s interested in you romantically, you’re still her comrade that has been with her since the start. Even if she wouldn’t cry for you like if it were Eren or Armin, she looks out for the rest of you just as much. When you’re older, you notice stuff like that.”

It was cute; she’d even noticed Mikasa occasionally warily looking out for Levi when his leg was still healing so long ago. She was more caring for others than she liked to pretend. A lot like Levi. It really shouldn’t be a surprise that they are distantly related…

“So? Do you want my help, or not?”

“I did ask for your help, Commander. I just think it’d be more logical to ignore these feelings than to act on them. I know that’s not ideal, that I should want a chance at something. But I…” He bites his lip, he’s so afraid but he doesn’t know how to express it.  He’d love for Mikasa to return his feelings, for them to go on sweet dates under the moonlight and share innocent kisses in the dark where no one could see them.

Jean wants those things, but he doesn’t feel like he can have them. He doesn’t feel like he should have them, to be happy for a small period of time when there’s so much death happening around them. The issues with Marley… Was there time? Was there any right when people around the world were dying right now?

“I know she looks out for all of us. I know that she cares for all of us. We’re practically family. We’ve been through so much together, grown together, see things we didn’t want to see together. I wouldn’t want anyone from our squad to die, not even Eren!” He takes a breath, not having realized how fast the words flew off his tongue. Biting his tongue, he should really be more disciplined than this by now. Shadis had taught him better, hadn’t he?

[intuitivebiologist]

“Not since this morning when I had tea with Onyankopon,” she admitted, reaching up to pick at her lip in thought. Talking about her own health at a time like this... As if he wasn’t in a far worse state. No matter how exhausted and hungry she was, Levi was... he would never be the same person, that was for sure.

Still, she didn’t want to argue with him. He had at least somewhat of a point. She was completely and utterly exhausted. She couldn’t deny a bed, even if she wanted to. She climbed into the bed beside him, a wave of relief splashing over her once her head hit the pillow. Hahh..

“The most we can hope for is that they don’t kill us, I think...”

"Don’t ever do that again."

Well that was obvious. 

He wasn’t going to be able to join the front line of the fight any time soon, and the thunder spears were obviously not going to be in his kit of weaponry for the rest of his life. Even if before she had told him time and time again that thunder spears were not a toy, that they should be used carefully, he did feel like he had the situation under control, he had never expected Zeke to kill himself off like that. 

The guilty weighted heavy on him, she saved him again, after something he stupidly did. How could he even apologize properly for what happen. “Yeah. I ain’t got enough fingers to fucking do one of these things again, ya shouldn’t worry.” 

He couldn’t even apologize properly, what an idiot. 

“…Sorry…an’ thanks.” 

[intuitivebiologist]

👏MOMJI👏AT👏IT👏AGAIN👏WITH👏THE👏POWER👏OF👏BEST FRIENDS!!👏

[intuitivebiologist]

Wait for it… #attackontitan #shingekinokyojin #leviackerman #snk115 #artofdio #wip https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu4q_PchHu6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=y65fpmudl49q