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i would fuck pre-transition me but that furled little twink would not survive so i'd be smoking a cigarette after, visibly fading out like marty mcfly

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they hated his message

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mario party fans confused by cryptic new minigame "Am I Gay Test"

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Had an abortion and the planned parenthood staff brought out a sombrero and a fried ice cream w a sparkler in it and sang a song about how I shouldn’t feel bad because the baby was ugly

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sure hope whatever i was timing got itself sorted out by now

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farm on! its friday! don't forget to tend the crops!

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somebody laced my cigarette with unmeasurable pain and sorrow

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God I wish I could go back in time and be the person who cut peoples heads off with an axe

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getting in the car I’ve left parked in the sun all day

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top gun is great because tony scott was like “i want to make a movie about sunsets” and the us navy was like “No you’re gonna make recruitment propanganda for the navy” and val kilmer was like “the studio has tricked me, juilliard trained val kilmer, into being here, so i’m going to portray a closeted homosexual” and tom cruise was like “i’m in a ray bans commercial!”

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My pet milkfly