ironcladxheart - Tumblr blog

[ironcladxheart]

Alexei hummed as the other kissed him once more, fingers tangling into the warm curls on his brother's head as he leaned into it, kissing him back slowly, gentle. He enjoyed this, knowing that the other was okay with him being there. He was happy about it, and for once, he actually felt safe with Sasha in his arms.

It was them against the world — it always had been after all.  Ever since their rescue from that hellhole only to be dropped back in, they’d been solid against those who hurt them.  Alexei was his life, his safety, the one thing in this cruel world he trusted to never maliciously hurt him.

Feeling especially affectionate, he kissed Alexei again.

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Sasha was warm against him, gentle, and so he felt comfortable enough to let his guards drop around his brother, brushing his fingertips over the other's back. "I love you too, Sasha." he mumbled, leaning into the touch to his cheek.

He kissed Alexei back, stroking his hands up Alexei’s chest gently.  ”I love you.”  Sasha murmured, a hand coming up to rest on his brother’s cheek.

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Alexei closed his eyes as the other kissed his skin, smiling lightly at the way the other left a mark on him. It would've made him mad before, but now it was okay and he liked it. Gently, he pulled his brother closer to him, nails lightly scraping over his scalp, carefully tipping his head up to kiss him.

"Yeah?"  He asked with a smile, leaning into the hand running through his curls.  Shane kissed just under Alexei’s jaw, mouthing at his skin and leaving a mark.

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Gently, he brushed his fingers through the other's hair. "Hmm. Good. 'Cause I'm not sleepy yet." he said, humming lightly, just enjoying the comfort the other brought him.

He smiled into the skin of Alexei’s neck and held closer to him with a soft hum.  ”It doesn’t have to be, no.”

[ironcladxheart]

Alexei pulled Shane close, closing his eyes for a moment, humming at the way the other touched his back. "Soon is not now, is it?"

"Mm."  He curled up into Alexei, nuzzling under his jaw.  "I don’t need much sleep either, you know that.  But we should sleep soon anyway."  Shane’s hands snuck up the back of Alexei’s shirt, merely resting there.  

[ironcladxheart]

"I love you too and yeah, I know. I don't need much sleep though. Give me two hours, that should do the trick." He mumbled back, drawing his brother in closer.

[ oneironcladheart ]

"<I love you but we have to go to sleep soon if we expect to wake up at a decent hour and keep moving.>”  Sasha murmured, kissing just under Alexei’s ear.

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"Без перевода."

\

“Как вы думаете, что я лучше? Я собираюсь не пропустить вас ни на что. Я люблю тебя.”

[ironcladxheart]

"Вы не должны. Я не хороший человек, чтобы отсутствовать."

“Я просто пропустил вас есть все.”  He said, timidly.

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"Вхат ис ит?"

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“Брат, иди сюда.”

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His gaze was anything but calm as he turned it onto Sasha, a storm going on behind those dark eyes that he almost couldn't handle himself. He closed his eyes again and clenched his fists harder, not noticing that he was digging his nails into his flesh, the pain only helping him to focus. He wasn't made for good things, absolutely not. Alexei was made for pain and hurt, not worry and ... emotions. Yet they were pulsing through him, a force he couldn't stop. He doesn't answer to Shane's words, doesn't answer to anything, but he slumps down on the nearby chair heavily, fingers twitching softly as he tries not to let it get to him too much.

He just stopped speaking, though his emotions and his worry for his brother were clear on his face.  Finally after a moment, he spoke.  ”Do you need me to go?”  He asked softly, just wanting to make whatever pain Alexei was experiencing, stop.  He knew an anxiety attack when he saw one so he knew all he could do was whatever his brother needed to ease the anxiety.

Gods, they probably punished him if he showed an anxiety attack in front of anyone.  More worry set in.

[ironcladxheart]

Oh, his brother's words didn't go by unnoticed. The name, however, made him flinch lightly, his heartbeat speeding up. He was sure they would never get to a point where he would not think about Sasha screaming his name, real or nickname, either, while he was being carried away. Alexei had lost count of how many panic attacks this memory had caused and he sure was fighting another just now. He swallowed harshly and shook his head, not able to give in and accept the apology yet. He had to hurt a bit more, first, to breathe through physical pain caused by mere memories as he tried to fight through them.

"Stop." he said quietly, a mutter, not more, before his voice got louder, trying to cut off Sasha's word flow. "Стоп!" he made and his hands clenched into fists as he tried to calm back down, breathing shallowly.

Oh, Sasha was pretty sure they’d put Alexei through helll because his brother “defected” and he was no longer useful in the manner Alexei was accustomed to.  So he was sure they did something in the way of experiments and pain.  And it twisted his stomach in knots, always had.  Somehow even with the serum Shane had the tendency to get ulcers.

"I can’t even begin to make up for it, Lyosha.  But…I can and will try until I take my last breath.  I don’t care if we’re artiificially made twins, that counts, and I know I fucked up but if it takes trying to make up for it until I die, so be it.  Because you’re my twin and you’re worth more than anything."  He said quietly.  "Every day, I plan out my rescue differently, how I could have kicked whoever was holding me in the solar plexus to get them to drop me, anything that would have enabled me to do more than bite and kick and scream for you."  His voice wavered and he had to look down too.  "I cannot even begin to find the words to appropriately express how much I am sorry."

[ironcladxheart]

He'd never thought he'd see him again. He never thought he'd see his brother again, not alive, anyways. Facing him was harder than he thought. The anger was worse than he'd imagined it would be. Quickly, Alexei cast his glance down to the ground, listening to Sasha's words, the person he'd missed more than anything and never wanted to see again. It hurt him to just look at him, to see him move and talk and hear his voice - it was horrible. Not because he didn't like him, but..

He'd betrayed him.

He'd left him behind, and even though he pledged to never have done that, somehow, he couldn't believe it. It was all hard to believe, hard to take in, and Alexei found himself confused - and confusion left you wounded. 

And most of the time - wounded people attacked.

"You're right, it's not making up for it. Not making up for.. everything. " Sasha had no idea what he'd went through, what he'd endured during the time he was alone. With his brother, it had been... bearable, but without him? All those years without him just.. left nothing behind.

[ oneironcladheart ]

He didn’t know what to say to him.  What did you say to the brother you’d kept secret?  They weren’t actually twins, they were half brothers but it felt the same to him and that was what mattered, right?  He’d fought so hard to get to Lyosha but their hold was too strong and eventually he’d been sedated.  No matter what anyone would tell him, it was likely Shane would blame himself for it for a long time.

And so that left him speechless facing the one person he’d thought he’d have no matter what.  Sure seemed like he’d gone and fucked that up.

"<I have so many things to apologize for.  So many things I wish I could go back and change.  I fought so hard that day but I should have fought harder to get to you.  I’m sorry.  So sorry.  And I know if I apologize to you every day until the end of time it probably wouldn’t make up for it.  But I know I have to try.>"  They’d housed them together, probably with the hopes that Alexei would continue to help him get up to par.  This was going to get awkward real fast if he didn’t try and mend things.

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             "If that is not the great Tony Stark."

"It must be awesome being you."

           "Or wait, aren't you dead?"

[ironcladxheart]

andrew cooper by arseto adiputra

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A whole floor? What would he need a whole floor for? But, of course he'd be stupid not to take this offer. It was one he was sure one would only get once in their life, and even though Tony Stark seemed to really mean that, he wasn't sure he would.

"Then I'll better say yes now, shouldn't I?"

"Because. You don’t give a shit. And they don’t see that. They give you orders. We don’t give orders. You gotta do something, you do it. But you do it as a part of a team. They think you do it because you’re being the good little soldier. And that’s just rude. Plus, you appreciate my bar."

[ironcladxheart]

Alexei almost, almost chuckled, but then he reminded himself not to. He leaned against his desk, his hands vanishing halfway into the pockets of his jeans. "Then allow me the question, Agent, what are you doing down here?", he asked, not liking the way she was down here where usually only agents of his level were.

"My name is Alexei Kalliowski, Ma'am."

+middleofaninterrogation

Why, yes. Of course.

The famous black widow. One he knew from his files, but he had no idea why she’d come down to see him, anyways. "Anything I can do for you, Agent Romanoff?", he asked, the slight russian accent in his voice, but the tone of the low spoken words was neutral, not threatening or questioning her in any kind of way.