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sold

a super normal deer

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doomed by the narrative but not to death. doomed to survive. doomed to stay alive inside the story. doomed to never escape the narrative, not even through death. you are allowed no exit. there is no way out for you and there never was. you couldn’t die if you wanted to. the narrative has a hold on you and it won’t let go. death is too sweet a doom for you. the story has something much worse in mind. there is no way out.

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in a doctor's office being shown a chart with different types of man-made horrors on them while the doctor asks whether each of them is beyond or within my comprehension

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do i piss you off platonically. are you mad at me forever as a friend

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just made a new oc called guy whose life sucks

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im aware this is an insane thing to say but i fucking. love characters that are just cockroaches. and i dont mean like. gross i mean they just do not fucking die. they can survive anything. they will outlive EVERYONE because they just will not die no matter what be it because they have a reason or because they literally cannot stop surviving the odds i love it i love it

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love when a random secondary oc grips you by the neck for like three hours like Ok ive had three thoughts about you in my life but sure you can be developed now

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thought about my OC yesterday, thought about my OC today, will think about my OC tomorrow

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nothinggg better than torturing an emotionally repressed character until every single trauma they've ever refused to process starts spilling uncontrollably out of the cracks. like a matryoshka doll situation of repressed trauma and baby you better believe i'm going in there with a hammer

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One last treat before the night ends.

I hope you haven't forgotten where we left off. :)

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'how do u get attention for your OCs' literally just never stop talking about them, creating them, creating things FOR them, sculpting their world, and sharing it with others. just pour your heart out into and you will gain genuinely interested people.

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Break, failure, ghost, and midnight for Bella for the ask game because I've been struck by sudden brainrot

OH FUN

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Easy. She's experienced this to a degree before, when her adoptive mother was murdered by Envy. The easiest way to break Bella or force her to bend her knee to you is to threaten her loved ones while being too powerful for her to rip to shreds. Harm or kill her family, she's mentally done for.

And it's ugly. Back when severe turmoil was a consistent thing for her, she would cut in horrific quantities all over her body. At its worst, she'd hole up in her room, refusing to see anyone but Kiddo, refusing to eat because she'd have no appetite. At one point, after her adoptive mother's murder, she started sneaking out (huge nono for House history trauma reasons) at night and inciting fights in the city. She was desperate for any quick outlet to relieve herself of such intense anguish.

Kiddo has 100% seen her at her worst. There's probably some other OG house residents who have too, but Kiddo has seen it at its most raw. He's held her as she's scream-cried and bled from the most recent self-harm wounds, he's braved her early sanity lapses despite the high likelihood of being seriously injured, he's risked unknown damage to himself while embracing madness to help her fight with Insanity when they were still struggling with the fusion of their souls. There is NOTHING he wouldn't do for her, and no breakdown too intense for him to be at her side for.

failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

There might be something I've forgotten after 10 years of her going through one horror after another, but tbh I don't think anything I might be blanking on compares to how she's failed herself. She used to do herself so dirty with her self destructive tendencies, the severity just simply pales anything else I could come up with.

And ofc everyone that lives in the House knows Of it, if not physically there for that era. I don't know if I'd say she's moved past it, but she's been clean from self harm for *does math* roughly a decade, if not exactly that long? (screams and sobs because oh my god the passage of time, I'm so proud of my GIRL)

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

God, does she have many of those. Her father haunts her, not literally. His murder (and previously her mother's presumed murder) broke her at the ripe age of FIVE. She's been hurting herself over it from then until she stopped a decade ago. The only thing that had her clean (for a handful of years I'm not gonna bother to math out rq) was Blake begging her to find a healthier way to cope. That ended up being her Promise(tm) to her parents that she'd never EVER let another loved one die. Which,,, sometimes did just as much if not more harm to her than herself. But ultimately did unquantifiable amounts of good too.

Lucifer haunts her too, no doubt. After 5 or so years of living in fear, making plans like a doomsday prepper, being hypervigilant and keeping everyone she even mildly cared about as close as she possibly could, you don't just.. unlearn that forever, let alone forget it or move on from it completely. Especially when the way it ended gave,, no closure. It just Was Over, unexpectedly.

And those preparations, that paranoia, her promise, and the occasional bouts of self-harm are how she lived with her ghosts. She carries them with her with infinitely more grace and self-preservation now. Her promise is going strong, and now she has the confidence of a fully realized demigod (as well as the actual godly ancestor that Makes her such) to help her live with them too.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

Oh you fucking bet your ass she does. Lucifer and everything to do with him especially keeps her up. Some of the things the Sins did before becoming House refugees themselves still mess with her. She is RIDDLED with PTSD and by extension nightmares and anxiety. But she's long since learned how to live with them by now.

A great example of this was Kiddo's kidnapping at 14 which resulted in her and Insanity being cursed together. The two of them CANNOT sleep without each other now, at all, ever. They HAVE to sleep in the same bed, holding each other.

On nights she can't sleep, she lays in his arms, listening to his breathing & heartbeat and sometimes testing if he'll sleep mumble to her. Kiddo has always been and will always be her safe place. If she really can't bear to just lay there awake, she'll probably try listening to music, or she'll let him know she's getting up to go check in on their kids. Thankfully she's formed some healthier habits over the last decade.

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oc asks: not-so-nice edition

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

hunt: Who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert?

mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

nightmare: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself?

pain: What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

torture: Has your OC ever been tortured? Would your OC ever torture someone else?

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?