isingthesong - Tumblr blog

[isingthesong]

i was 14 and i was walking through a mall by myself at 12am after my shift at coldstone creamery lol and a bunch of men started whistling and meowing and getting really close to me and they kept asking me questions and i kept not answering until i didn’t know what else to do so i said “i’m only 14” and almost in unison they said “we don’t care” i was so fucking scared i didn’t know what to do and they kept talking about how i looked and how my body looked and what they would do i was on the verge of tears i was all alone in a huge mall i knew i couldn’t outrun them all i felt totally hopeless until a maintenance worker came up to all of us with a huge industrial broom in her hand, i thought she was going to yell at all of us for being in the mall after hours bc she probably thought we were all friends but instead she cursed all of them out in spanish, threatened to press a panic button on her belt and then proceeded to walk me to the basement garage and waited with me until my mom got there to pick me up she had a death grip on her cart the whole time and a face of steel she looked so strong and i just kept saying thank you and she kept saying not to thank her because she had to stop them.

that was the moment i realized women were the most important beings on this planet and we have to protect each other bc nobody else is going to, she didn’t even know me, we couldn’t even communicate that well because of the language barrier, she could have lost her job for waiting with me in the parking lot but she looked out for me when she didn’t have to, she had nothing to gain from it, i’m 21 now and i tell everyone this story even though it happened 7 years ago, what she did that night helped me form and shape lot of my beliefs early on. 

[isingthesong]

HOW TO CHEER UP IN 2 EASY STEPS

WHISPER “BEEP BOOP” TO YOURSELF.

REPEAT UNTIL NOT SAD.

[isingthesong]

one thing I find hilarious is when Shakespeare quotes are used out of context

like, people are always saying “some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” as if it’s all deep and meaningful when actually it comes from a prank letter in Twelfth Night

and “This above all: to thine own self be true” comes from Polonius in Hamlet wherein the joke is that he’s an old pompous dude giving a long and rambling speech full of contradictory pointless advice to his son

“Brevity is the soul of wit” is another joke, because again, it’s made by Polonius who will just not shut up

it’s “we are such stuff as dreams are made on” not “of “, as in, “such stuff as dreams are built on”

“wherefore art thou, Romeo” doesn’t mean “where are you, Romeo” it means “why the fuck are you called Romeo, shit, I wanted to bang you but I can’t because you’re a goddamn Montague”

all these lines have acquired a kind of dignity in text that they never had in performance or are constantly misinterpreted

It’s not necessarily bad but it is kind of funny, sometimes.

[isingthesong]

[isingthesong]

[isingthesong]

[isingthesong]

Imagine if that pesky little war hadn’t existed.

Imagine if Sirius and Regulus had been close.

Imagine that their parents had still been horrible.

But then imagine Orion and Walburga croaking shortly after the brothers graduate from Hogwarts.

Imagine there being a huge legality dispute because the goblins don’t know which brother is the heir. Sirius is the eldest but he was burned from the tapestry but that’s not technically the goblin-approved technique of disowning a family member but it has been traditional but…

Imagine them sorting it out and eventually agreeing that Sirius and Regulus are dual heirs, something that both brother can agree to.

Imagine them entering 12 Grimmauld Place.

Imagine them immediately setting to work.

Imagine them befriending Kreacher because Regulus was always on good terms with the house-elf and he helps them clean.

And clean.

And clean.

And clean.

Imagine Sirius burying the house-elf heads (Regulus is too skirmish to do so) and Regulus removing any and all dark spells and wards.

Imagine the two throwing away antique after antique, furniture after furniture, decoration after decoration…

Imagine that the last thing that they throw out is that blasted tapestry.

Imagine the two of them essentially gutting the entire house, even knocking down walls and revealing hidden rooms because I’ve always had the headcanon that 12 Grimmauld Place was bigger on the inside.

Imagine them going on glorious shopping sprees because they have all of this gold to spend. Imagine them going to both the Muggle shops and the Wizarding shops. Imagine them buying luxurious furniture because like it or not, the two of them are actually quite suave and sophisticated when need be.

And so they know just what to get. And they decorate the house very tactfully, albeit strangely. It’s the peculiar mixture of the Palace of Versailles and a bachelor pad. But it works. And they have all of the latest technology. A simple spell allows them to grow/shrink their television when need be. Their kitchen is fully furnished and Kreacher is always on call. But so are the various restaurants in London. And when you mention that you’ll pay, you can get almost anyone to deliver. And it’s much easier for them to get there when Sirius and Regulus finally figure out a way to make the house visible.

And they take driving lessons and Sirius is finally able to get that flying motorbike that he’s always wanted and Regulus chooses a car, because as much as he loves his brother, there is no way that he’s ever getting on that metal deathtrap. And he tries to buy a sensible vehicle but the end, he splurges and buys a Porsche 911 (I’m really not that great at vehicles but it popped up on Google and looked fancy.)

And even with all of the purchases, they only put a small dent in the vast pile of gold that’s in their vault.

And the two of them sit up all night and talk and laugh and watch Saturday Night Live and Happy Days and really sappy soap operas.

But they also know how to throw on two sets of dress robes and go to formal events because they have a reputation that they’re trying to build.

And they drag James and Lily along.

As well as Arthur and Molly, when the two can get a babysitter.

Because it’s important that the brothers be seen with them.

And it’s important that that newest reporter for the Daily Prophet, Rita Skeeter, sees that the Blacks have allied with the Potter and the Weasleys. And though the Heirs to the House of Black certainly know how to be elegant and graceful, they are not nearly as pretentious or stuck-up as their predecessors. In fact, they’re two of the nicest guys that you’ll ever meet.

And they donate to a bunch of charities, and invest in some smart stocks.

And by the time they’re in their mid-twenties, not only are Sirius and Regulus two of the wealthiest people on the planet, they’re also two of the most famous. But in a good way. In a great way actually. The surname ‘Black’ is no longer associated with that pretentious phrase ‘Toujours pur.’ Instead, it’s associated with the phrase, ‘Toujours fort’. And strong they are. They know that they can’t erase their family’s horrid history. But that won’t stop them from bringing their family name into a new age - a golden age - an age where they’re respected, not feared, where blood status legit means nothing, where the two of them are laidback and adventurous but still respectable, where the most important virtues that matter are love, kindness, generosity, friendship, brotherhood…

And where Orion and Walburga are rolling in their graves.

[isingthesong]

[isingthesong]

Prompt: Every year, at least once, there is a group of muggleborns who enchant their voices to amplify all across Hogwarts; from the highest tower to the dungeons. At the crack of dawn, they then proceed to start singing “Circle of Life” from ‘The Lion King’ to wake everyone up.

A/N: I pushed this one to the top because picturing this made me laugh and I thought it’d be quite a quick one :)  Hope you like it! Not sure if the lyrics are 100% correct.

Warnings: None

Not edited

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“Ssssh be quiet Patrick.” Gillian whispered, trying to sound distressed with the amount of noise Patrick’s shoes where making on the tower stairs.

“I’m trying. Besides, that was Una.” Patrick shot a glare behind him to Una.

“No it wasn’t.” Una swatted at Patrick’s head. “Where’s Henry, isn’t he coming?”

“He’s meeting us up there.” Jonathan whispered to rest of the group from the front. “Now all of you…” He raised a finger to his lips to signal for them to be quiet. The rest of the way to the top of the tower, the only sound that could be heard was the wind lapping at the walls mixed with shoes quietly tapping on each stair as the group of 4 walked up. 

They finally made it to see the silhouette of Henry looking out at the 6am sunrise from the break in the wall which made an open window. 

“Took you lot long enough. You ready to do this?” Henry had a childish glee in his eyes. The rest of the gang group around the window with Henry so that they all had equal access to project their voices out the window. They raised their wands to their throats and a blue light glowed from the tips. Una used her spare hand to count them in: 1. 2. 3.

Gillian and Jonathan were the first to brake the silence like they were tearing into a veil that covered Hogwarts with a near perfect harmony of the cant in the opening to the Circle of life. ‘Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba, Sithi uhm ingonyama….’

The chant finished and the whole group began to sing. Again, their harmonies were actually, surprisingly good. The only problem was…it was 6am…on a Saturday and the spell they cast amplified their voices to reach the entire school. 

The song was going well, heads were popping out of most of the windows around the school, until they heard the thunder of footsteps running up the stairs. They ignored it and carried on going, seeing if they could reach the end of the song before they were caught. Turns out…they couldn’t. 

Snape, followed by Lupin appeared in the entrance. The next thing that was heard amplified around the castle was…well it was many things: High pitch screams that sounded like they belonged to a girl which did in fact come from Patrick, clattering of pots and different objects hitting the floor, multiple giggles and running footsteps and shuffling.

Snape had taken it upon himself to chase Patrick around the tower. The others were just trying to avoid being caught and trying to make for the exit.

“Patrick Johnson get here now.”

“Noooo. Save yourselves. You’ll never take me alivvvve-”

The last thing heard was another scream. Then silence.

[isingthesong]

[isingthesong]

[isingthesong]

Things just transpired in my house hold that are equal parts offensive and hilarious… Here goes.

So my roommate, Dale, has a gf who does not live with us, but she’s here all the time. So Sunday when my gf was her we were on the couch and we kissed (scandalous, I know) and she saw it, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s seen us be affectionate, that’s neither here nor there.

So today she tells Dale she’s “uncomfortable” here and wants him to move out because she thinks me and my lady are going to hit on her or something, she doesn’t like living with lesbians, cause it’s not “normal”, so now I’m pissed. Then, Dale goes, “well you don’t live here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, just stop coming over”…things escalated and Dale is trying to break up with her, but she won’t leave our house….she locked herself in Dales room.

So, Dale barges in my room wearing a bathrobe and goes, “call every lesbian you know, we’re smoking this bitch out!” Then turns around and whips his robe like a cape…

And that’s the story of how there are 8 lesbians climbing through the window of Dales room…

[isingthesong]

This isn’t a Miyazaki film. It’s a gorgeous homage by a French animation student.

Glenn Germain spent five months crafting this beautiful homage to Studio Ghibli for his final project. The French animation student’s work has gone viral in Japan. We think Miyazaki would approve.

[isingthesong]

My 7 year old son was shot down by his 1st grade teacher

[isingthesong]

i bet dragons would probably think it’s really cool that we produce water in our mouths

[isingthesong]

[isingthesong]

im at my friends house, she’s pretty rich. like really rich. but we have been friends for like 12 years. But she tells me to order pizza and that she will pay. So hell yeah ll oder pizza. She said she will be right back she has to go to the store and tosses a small box at me. She said there should be enough for a tip in there. and that she wouldn’t care if i pocketed the rest, its just been sitting around anyways.

im a bit confused but figure there is money inside so whatever

what the fuck thats a lot for pizza.

WHAT THE FUCK SHE TOSSED $2,000 AT ME LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL FOR ME TO ORDER PIZZA BTCH IM BUYING ME 6 PIZZAS AND TAKING 5 HOME SO I CAN ACTUALLY EAT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE.

BITCH! THIS PIZZA DUDE GETTING THE BEST DAMN TIP OF THEIR LIFE 

YOU KNOW WHAT IM TAKING THAT PIZZA DELIVERY PERSON OUT FOR A FUCKING PARTY. YOU FUCKING TOSS THIS AT ME YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IM GOING TO GO BUY ME A HOUSE AND PAY OFF STUDENT LOANS AND INVEST IN THE STOCK MARKET AND BUY SOME GOLD AND SAVE SOME RARE WILD LIFE AND HAVE ENOUGH LEFT OVER TO NOT ONLY BE SET FOR RETIREMENT BUT TAKE THAT FUCKING PIZZA PERSON OUT FOR THE NIGHT OF THEIR LIFE.