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[insert destiel meme] the US bombed Iran

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Post-defense trip to Alaska. I’ve been in Anchorage for less than 24 hours yet the amount of men I saw at Costco with ponytails (not even counting natives’ rat tails) is simply, wow, stunning. And the number of Travis Cohle look alikes is also, giving me lots of thoughts.

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Need to document this thought before it escapes me:

There is perhaps no such thing as resilience. There is only different time one chooses to process the trauma.

But also on a separate note I defended my PhD dissertation yesterday! Husband hid the flower in the lab fridge and I discovered it before the defense lol

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Very inspired by the ESL one. Thank you. Thank you.

starting a collection of my favourite AO3 author’s notes

honourable mentions

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Little priest and Jesus pose

the character ever

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Guy who is touch starved but emotionally repressed goading you into punching him for completely normal reasons

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Enticed by the AMC ad of Stitch and thought Stitch was a cute dawg. Been looking forward to the new Lilo and Stitch movie for a month. Yesterday watched the ‘02 original movie for the first time and was shocked to find out that Stitch is a grumpy old man. Not a cute dawg. SHOCKED. Devastated. No more Stitch for me.

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Yesterday, a nice cloudy breezy Saturday, I went on a hike in Griffith park with hubby and another couple of friends. It set out to be a casual hike, something AllTrails would tell you is a moderate hike, something that a city creature like me could be peer pressured into doing, now that I have lived in California for 7 years. Except with hubby's carefree navigation, it ended up being 3 times longer than it should've been. Was I a lil grumpy towards the end with the body soreness? Yes, internally. For the most part, I pretended to be a very good Californian, outdoorsy, happy adult, and even went to a Filipino New Year Fest where I walked 10k more steps. When I got home, I took a long, hot bath and even had a bit of post-exercise endorphin high when I went to sleep.

And then at 2:30 am, I woke up from screaming bodily pain. I never wake up in the middle of the night, but the aches were bad enough to shock me out of sleep. So I stumbled around and took 3 Advils and plenty of water. (Lately, hubby thought about getting a second dog, a Newfoundland, and naming her Thumbelina. Thumbelina, Stumbelina, Fumbelina. All very cute.) Then I slid back in bed and decided to read @bonesandpoemsandflowers 's Names and Names while I wait for the Advils to kick in.

The pills kicked in in 5 mins. I was awake reading names and names until 7 am.

There are some reasons why it took me so long to catch up with Marty x Rust fanfic updates (still in the middle of it, with @palmviolet's Angel of the Morning top in my kindle library). The number 1 reason is that these writings are too good. It puts a lil fear in me, knowing that reading them will make me a less functional person for some days, knowing that the microclimate the stories create will be an invisible storm hovering over my head wherever I go for a few days or weeks. I won't be able to stop thinking about how mean and awful Marty and Rust are to each other, as in Chapter 6 of Names, which is so good, and so bad, which is so good.

So today I'm really disoriented and low-functioning. Although I won't be checking chores off my to-do list, I gotta tell @bonesandpoemsandflowers how much the Marty and Rust in her universe HAUNT me. And, of course, thank you and love you so much for writing this story. It's a terrifying and amazing emotional rollercoaster, feeling so hurt for Marty, then Crash/Rust, then Marty, then both of them, in that order. Despite the heartbreaking and potentially huge amount of repair needed in the near future, I feel optimistic that some progress, real progress, has been made. Marty has tried to summon his courage to say no to Crash/Rust. And Crash/Rust has learned to ask for what he needed. HUGE. Maybe we are taking 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Maybe the blood was actually worth it. No one is counting. They are still there, trying to make things work. As in '95, as in '12. And THAT's something.

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obligatory otp-with-sunflower drawing. powered by definitionsfading ‘s sunflower posts and writing.

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Last night, coming down with something on a snow cabin trip and tossing in uncomfortable sleep, a question came to my head: did rust go to college? if so where? Alaska or Texas? What’s school boy rust like? did he always wanna be a cop? was a degree needed/common to have for police job back in the 80s/90s?

5 hours later I have no answer yet

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Just like this

I still haven't watched Severance but congratulations to the fandom for getting a Blorbo who did end up crying, soaking wet in a suit and tie, and covered in blood at the end of the show. This is like getting a superbowl ring but for fandom I think.

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Oh yes they are. They totally are.

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Too accurate

I didn't know it was possible for a man to be shaped like a velociraptor until I met 1995 Rust Cohle

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This convo happens between me and my husband daily

let him keep his funky little ponytail I love it

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To be fair it did happen - he walked down the bridal path. Saw it with my own eyes