istaricelebelasse - Tumblr blog

[istaricelebelasse]

Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”

And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”

“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”

Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.

[istaricelebelasse]

new ship dynamic called schrodinger’s divorce where characters are simultaneously bitterly divorced and fondly married for twenty years

[istaricelebelasse]

I love the idea of Gil-Galad just being A Guy while Elrond and Celebrimbor are insane, actually.

Consider;

Elrond, so pissed that the indoor plants are rattling: Fuck That Courtier 👁️⭐️🗡️

Gil-Galad, wondering if he can still eat his salad if it’s sprouted ominous flowers: Yeah, what a bitch.

And

Celebrimbor, setting a jar on Gil-Galad’s desk: I have discovered a new chemical 😁

The Chemical™️: *eats through the jar, eats through Gil-Galad’s desk, sizzling as it tries to eat through the stone flooring*

Gil-Galad, seeing an Opportunity: can you move the jar a little to the left? That’s where the complaints from Lord Oropher are stacked.

Love the idea of Gil being a regular dude while his alleged cousins are the resident eldritch horror and the mad scientist next door.

[istaricelebelasse]

“Ah, Perry the Platypus! I see you found my Goose-inator 3000! As you can see, it turns anyone into a goose! With this I will turn EVERYONE into a goose and finally take over the Tri-State Area! Wait, what are you doing — WAIT OW! OW! STOP THAT!”

[istaricelebelasse]

A lighthouse and a warning, all at once.

A lighthouse monster, to greet all the ships at sea!

[istaricelebelasse]

Ugh got told this fucking week that my Smalls (who are 6! And 7! Babies!) are doing the Non Statutory end of year assessments in June. Assessments which are in a different format to the data collection assessments we’ve been doing all year. So now I’ve got to teach them how to actually not be scared of the papers.

Am Not Impressed.

[istaricelebelasse]

Being a young adult is so strange. You enter a coffee shop. The 20 year old girl waiting behind you cried all night because she just came to a new city for university and she feels so alone. That 27 year old guy over there works a job he is overqualified for, he lives with his parents and wants to move out but doesn't know what to do about it. That one 24 year old dude already has a car, a house, and a job waiting for him once he graduates thanks to his dad's connections. The 26 year old barista couldn't complete his higher education because he has to work and take care of his family. The 28 year old girl sitting next to you has no friends to go out with so she is texting her mother. That couple (both 25 years old) are married and the girl is pregnant. The 29 year old writing something on her laptop has realized that she chose the wrong major so she is trying to start all over. We are not alone in this, but we are actually so alone. Do you feel me

[istaricelebelasse]

how?? just how?

[istaricelebelasse]

We laugh at Sauron for not realising a golden-haired Aman elf with the audacity to challenge a fallen Maia with song can only be Finrod at this point, and conclude that Finrod's spell must have worked in part -- but I've never heard anyone ask how on earth did he never come up with the idea that Celebrimbor might have given the three rings to his three remaining family members!

Who made the spell this time?

[istaricelebelasse]

[istaricelebelasse]

hmmm why does my uterus hurt and why do i feel kinda off. weird. surely these are not the warning symptoms of a predictable biological process that occurs on a regular schedule. anyway. im going to wear white pants today.

[istaricelebelasse]

types of holidays celebrated in Rivendell:

Noldor holidays, which initially made the Sindar and Silvan residents cranky until they realized Elrond was part of it

Sindar holidays, which initially made some of the Noldor residents cranky until they realized Elrond was part of it

Silvan holidays, because at this point they're going to take any excuse for a party

Tra-La-La-Lally Day, created when they realized they somehow had a month with zero holidays. The festival focuses on getting drunk, singing, and lightly bullying anyone within earshot

Holidays relevant to any visitors or foster children

Numenorian holidays, because they caught Elrond celebrating alone and crying about Elros one (1) time and refuse to let him do it alone anymore

[istaricelebelasse]

Wait, isn't that the high king of the Noldor?

[istaricelebelasse]

Whenever Maglor sings for Elrond and Elros, he quite literally has a captive audience. 🙃

[istaricelebelasse]

I personally think it would be extremely funny if The Hunger Games and Mad Max took place in the same universe and America and Australia just dealt with this apocalypse very differently.

[istaricelebelasse]

[istaricelebelasse]

i took elvish in school and i fucking hated it. the teacher was like 700 years old and he'd like take us on field trips to sit on the banks of babbling brooks and watch the fall of sunlight through the leaves. my friends in spanish class were like conjugating verbs and shit and meanwhile i was in an old-growth forest being overcome with awe at the sight of a majestic stag. like uhh yeah mr autumnheart when are we gonna learn like any grammar "listen to the murmur of the wind in the treetops, and you shall find the grammar you seek" like fuck dude your pedagogy leaves much to be desired