istherewifiinhell

[istherewifiinhell]

okay. caught up again. thank fuck. goodbye forever.

[istherewifiinhell]

[istherewifiinhell]

I think any marriage needs its running jokes, ones that you can repeat with variations, or make callbacks too.

One of my favorite bits is describing the romcoms I watch to my wife as though I have never heard of a narrative in my life.

"She runs a small plane company, and he's from a major airline trying to shut her down, so it's really anyone's guess what's going to happen."

"Get this, he's a stuffy office dork and she's a free spirit, and they end up stuck in the same cabin on a cruise. Sounds like a disaster, right?"

"They've decided to pair up and be each other's plus one at a series of weddings to feel less pathetic, but it's not like they like each other or anything."

So I told my wife that I hoped she would still enjoy me doing this bit forty years from now, and she smiled and held my hand and said that she'd never liked it, not even the first time.

[istherewifiinhell]

make a minimum of 20 posts a day, be annoying as fuck, repeat things you said a few weeks ago, destroy your follower’s dashboards, never kill yourself

[istherewifiinhell]

Alberta's disability advocate, Greg McMeekin, is calling on the provincial government to join nearly every other Canadian province and pass an accessibility act. Recommendations in support of an all-encompassing law are in a June 2023 report that was submitted to the provincial government. The report, which the government didn't publicly release, was obtained by disability advocates through a freedom of information request. Zachary Weeks, an Edmonton-based disability advocate and accessibility consultant, then shared it on his website.

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Tagging: @abpoli @newsfromstolenland

[istherewifiinhell]

why are you as an adult open-mouth coughing all over the place

[istherewifiinhell]

Baby and Mama, Yellowstone National Park

[istherewifiinhell]

[Id. assorted pencil sketches. 1. Tanuma dressed as Marty McFly in Back to the Future, looking at his imaginary wrist watch with amazement and putting his imaginary sunglasses over his head. On his head sits Nyanko sensei telling him, “We gotta go back to the future, Tanuma!” 2. Ginpachi sensei smoking, sitting on the window sill, holding a sleepy cat Ginsan on his shoulder. 3. a series of Ginpachi sensei and cat Ginsan sketchy doodles. 4. Ginpachi sensei sleeping and cat Ginsan sleeping on his face. 5. Sakamoto sitting on the floor carrying cats Takasugi, Zura and Ginsan. Sigi’s sitting on his knee, Zura is sleeping on his leg, under his arm, Gin is climbing to his shoulder. 6. Sakamoto carrying cats Takasugi, Gintoki and Zura. Sugi just climbed to the top of his head, Ginsan is on his shoulders, Zura is climbing his right arm. Tatsuma is laughing nervously while asking Mutsu for help. end id]

[istherewifiinhell]

[Text excerpts:

On set, Scorsese made one big stipulation. He ordered Dunne not to have sex for the duration of the shoot. I am gobsmacked by this, but the actor was unfazed. “It made perfect sense to me,” he says. “I knew what he meant. The character had to be boiling over with this unfulfilled anxiety. You had to see …” He pauses. “Not to be crude, but you had to see the semen build up to where it’s practically coming out of his eyes.”

One Saturday night, though, Dunne cracked and broke the rule. The next day of filming, Scorsese spotted the change and went berserk. “You’ve fucked up the whole picture,” he shouted. “I don’t think I can finish it now.”

Dunne says that he was probably being directed here, too. “Because now I’m afraid. I’m terrified. And it turns out that a certain level of fear is the same as not having sex. So [Scorsese’s] second piece of direction is telling me that I’ve ruined his movie. That’s excellent direction. It brought all the old anxiety back.” END]

whoa

[istherewifiinhell]

you're so beautifol :) may i sense you with my feelers

[istherewifiinhell]

my brother got covid because he's a college professor and there's not much he can do to mitigate exposure when he has 200+ students per lecture. he's got a baby at home, so he does his best, but.

the governmental website for covid information is now propaganda. not a joke, not hyperbole, not an exaggeration: it's genuinely the definition of propaganda. this is biased misinformation determined to push a political stance. it is being hosted on a government server. it looks like something you'd find in a "top 10 weird internet conspiracy stories (and their origins)" youtube video.

my brother called me when he saw it. he had me type it into google. for a second i legitimately thought that i had typed something wrong. we have both taught college: we have both said "a .gov site is usually a reliable resource." i just stared at my phone for a long, long time.

i thought about how when i was a kid, conspiracy theories were mostly fun and a little spooky. unserious. i remember reading some long, complicated website about how avril lavigne is dead. how bigfoot is real. it used to be funny-and-a-joke.

over seven million people (globally) have died from covid. america has the highest death rate with over 1.2 million people.

the thing is - every time a person dies from something like a mass shooting or poverty or treatable illness - we are told don't make it political. we are told it's just something that can happen. we are told it's sad but what can you do!

the president of the united states is using a government website to try to erase the very-real deaths that he personally caused due to a complete mismanagement of the pandemic. the president of the united states is using a government server to host propaganda, undermine science and medicine, and encourage distrust amongst his followers.

nothing is going to happen. nobody's gonna, like, do anything about it. it's a thursday today, and we are just going to move on from this like we have been moving on from everything else.

yesterday my brother was outside walking his dog, mask included. a guy in a truck pulls up and shouts something about covid and whatever the fuck else. my brother has a good sense of humor, described it to me as enthusiastic! i hadn't ever been catcalled before, this was new and therefore thrilling! i do see why you hate it, though. like. i have actual covid, does he want me to cough on him?

my brother doesn't get extra time off work anymore, because the cdc practically doesn't exist. my brother said i'm not exposing 200 students to covid. his boss shrugged and said: who cares? they're going to get it eventually anyway. like it isn't a pandemic.

like it's just a fucking thursday, and who cares about it.

[istherewifiinhell]

😑

[istherewifiinhell]

big salad tonight queen; though i fear i am being led down a dark and dangerous path by the foul temptress Order Burrito, whose sweet nothings fall easily upon my innocent credulous ears. woe, Order Burrito, dost thou not tire over thy hold on mine own feeble soul? dost thou not desire another vassal? allow me to pledge my fealty to big salad tonight queen... just this once....

[istherewifiinhell]

Guy who is touch starved but emotionally repressed goading you into punching him for completely normal reasons

[istherewifiinhell]

Hi it seems like you made a post but forgot to make it about me?

[istherewifiinhell]

maybe the real sex was the chess we played along the way

[istherewifiinhell]

you should be able to go to a hospital and go hello I am an addict and they give you your substance of choice for the day .