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Paper Girls #13

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Does he always just stare like that?           You get used to it.

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Lost Rewatch - 2x01 Man of Science, Man of Faith

“See you in another life.”

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PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN (2020) dir. Emerald Fennell

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thank you.

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When (if!) you get a chance, can you talk about the humorous but poignant awesomeness that is Michael/Holly? As much as I love Jim/Pam, I've seen compelling arguments that Michael/Holly's relationship is just as touching and unique - if not even more so. I would love to hear your never-not-brilliant thoughts and insights! xoxo

This is SUCH a good question!!! So good!! that I kept getting overwhelmed by it and putting off answering it because I didn’t think I could answer it very well!!!!

I’ve never consciously thought about Michael and Holly before!! like as a couple. and so this is great because it made me start to think about why I liked them. Here’s what I’ve got. I don’t know if it will be interesting or fun but I hope so!

not a relevant gif i just like it

The first thing that makes them great is- I think at least- just the relief and joy that comes from the fact that the show ends with Michael finally being loved the way he’s always wanted. I’ve been thinking about why we love it so much when a character’s needs are met both physically- re: this post- and emotionally and spiritually. I say “thinking about it” like it’s not super obvious WHY we love it hahaha but still- it’s so satisfying and right. And maybe I do need to say it because TV showrunners are often surprisingly unwilling to give us the catharsis of letting characters achieve what they truly want or need in favor of suspense or drama and, my point is, the office doesn’t do that! It gives Michael his happy ending! It gives him the deepest desire of his heart- to love and be loved- and it doesn’t do so ironically or make fun of him for it and it doesn’t say that getting it somehow makes Michael worse. It doesn’t, it makes him better.

So that’s the first thing. It’s a joy to watch Michael be happy and loved especially after he spent so long alone and then with Jan being unhappy and unloved. 

The second thing that I think is great is that Holly is not the Normal to Michael’s Weird. She’s not the straight man to Michael’s comic act. And that’s so great, especially because it would have been easy to have made her that way. Holly is frequently as weird and quirky and even sometimes as inappropriate as he is and, look, I still think they balance each other out, but not ALL of Michael needs to be “normalized”. The natural and good flip side to his deep wells of inappropriateness and lack of respect for boundaries and social norms is that he is very authentically himself. He takes delight in things, he wants to please people and the expression of that is often inappropriate or ridiculous but it’s still genuine. The humor comes from the fact that he thinks he’s hilarious and clever when he isn’t, but alsop he’s not a hypocrite or a fake and he’s not smug. And, he has these weird, beautiful flashes of clarity and brilliance. So it’s lovely that holly wasn’t used to “fix” anything about him, for her sake and his! She’s funny like he is, they have the same weird and dorky sense of humor, they enjoy the ridiculous and being ridiculous and don’t really care what people think. And with her, Michael’s jokes become sweeter and have more of a context. Together, both of them are less inappropriate and mean than they are separately. Their humor is more about the joy they find in each other.

But THAT SAID, what is also great, the third thing, is that their relationship does make them better, especially Michael. When Holly first starts working at Dunder Mifflin, Michael likes her right away and of course is completely ready to barge straight ahead with all of his Michael intensity and inappropriateness and 1000-miles-per-minute approach and at first you fully expect it to crash and burn like everything else Michael does. But then it doesn’t? Jim talks to him and gives him advice- “no you can’t ask her if she wants to get married right now, no you probably shouldn’t ask her out the first weekend at her new job”- and Michael actually follows it. He shows some restraint for maybe the first time in the show. He bites back his inappropriate jokes (at least at the beginning) and gives her (and them) some space and time. And it WORKS. The romance unfolds fairly naturally considering this is Michael. He doesn’t propose marriage within the first two weeks even if he wanted to. He’s growing up. 

And the fun thing about it is that Michael is still right. He does like Holly right from the start; it is pretty much love at first sight. He’s not exaggerating the way he feels about her. But even if you do fall in love with someone like that- and I fully believe that it’s possible- a certain amount of restraint and patience is good. It makes it better! It makes him better. And we really see that with Michael and Holly. We also see him learn to let her go and grow beyond his jealousy and fear. He takes a while and isn’t great at it but he succeeds overall. The scene at the picnic when Michael is decent to AJ and hugs Holly goodbye without pressuring her is a great moment of growth, and so is the scene when he washes her Woody doll after trashing it in a moment of petulance. He acts out and is jealous and is immature but he doesn’t want to hurt her so he changes it and fixes the problem.

One of my favorite Holly/Michael examples of how they make each other better is Holly helping Michael realize how terrible Todd Packer really is. It’s such a satisfying moment and not just because it’s so nice to see Michael realize that about him!! Todd and Michael’s “friendship” was so horrible, obviously, for so many reasons but largely because Todd took advantage of Michael’s need for approval and enormous desire to be liked and to be funny and used it for his advantage. Not that Michael isn’t responsible for what he did or said obviously, but just. Todd dragged him down hard. And ultimately, Michael isn’t like Todd. Underneath the layers of inappropriateness, he’s always genuinely cared and has learned how to care more; he doesn’t want to be cruel; he wants to be loved. Todd may want that somewhere in the depths of his twisted soul but he doesn’t want it nearly as openly as Michael. So for Holly to be the one to point out that Todd is a disgusting, misogynistic jerk and for Michael to be able to see it because with her he’s found something so much truer and realer and more beautiful is so !!! I’m so!!! The bit Holly pulls about ranking funny people where she puts Michael right under his comedy icons and then Todd all the way down at the bottom is so revelatory for him. You can see on his face that for so long he’d tied up his self-worth in the opinions of people like Todd and now that mistaken belief is undone and his self-worth is safe with Holly who isn’t going to hurt him, who understands him, who makes him better.

As for what Michael gives Holly- it’s less explicitly beneficial maybe, but not any less beautiful. He gives her the gift of being loved unconditionally, immediately, and greatly and for, like, no reason haha. I love Amy Ryan and I love Holly and think she’s great!! but Michael’s immediate love for her and conviction that she’s better than anyone he’s ever met doesn’t make a ton of sense except in the way of all love stories. Erin’s whole bit about Holly not being that great or special is funny because it’s kind of true. She’s not that special. But Michael thinks she is. He’s willing to give up everything for her and in the end does give up his whole life to start another one with her. And that’s. Love transforms everything while also revealing who or what something really is. And Michael and Holly’s love story is about seeing people in both the kindest and the truest light, your understanding of them illumined and not obscured by the fact that you love them. 

Cute Moments

 when he goes to Nashua to get closure and sees her sweater and then cuts off one of her sleeves and puts it in his coat pocket - that is just. I die. It’s so funny. It’s so poignant. It’s so Michael.

Michael about Holly when he first meets her: “I would not be surprised to find out that she had worked in a bakery before coming here. She has that kind of warmth. I’m pretty sure she’s baked on a professional level.”

(That is just adorable.)

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MIDSOMMAR 2019, dir. Ari Aster

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MISS AMERICANA (2020), dir. Lana Wilson

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not to keep putting harry potter on your dashes in 2019 but i just got the part where harold and his friends destroy government property and was like “sick” (click for hopefully better quality smh) [redbubble] [speedpaint]

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it’ll pass

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FLEABAG S02E01 dir. Harry Bradbeer

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Fleabag - season 2 episode 2

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It’s God, isn’t it? Yeah. Damn! Damn… You know the worst thing is…

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—Are you a lesbian? —Not strictly.