itsbenjistone-blog - Tumblr blog

[itsbenjistone-blog]

“I’m so glad that we are deeply, deeply, in love. Perhaps I should tell her me and you tend to play for the same team?” He grinned widely.

So, I went to my parents this week… if I had a dollar for every time my mother subtly asked if I was boning my room mate, I would have enough for a new iPhone.

[itsbenjistone-blog]

rosamundarchibald:

“Oh please… It’s, uh– Okay. Maybe you’re right.” Sam sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “Yeah! See? I am good for some things. I make the world’s best chocolate chip pancakes to my poor drunken monkey.”

“Well, I don’t need anyone. I’m a free woman, who doesn’t need to be tied down by anyone. But yes, we should go out and pick people up together. How about at the Halloween thing this weekend?”

Ben shook his head, “You also make good coffee, on the off chance your up to make it.” He grinned

“That sounds great. We can get corny costumes, if you’d like.”

[itsbenjistone-blog]

@samspike: @benstoneheart i'm locking my door now bye.

@benstoneheart: :( @sampike :(

[itsbenjistone-blog]

@sampike: @benstoneheart i was sleeping, you fucking walnut!!!!

@benstoneheart: @sampike i ate ur churro

[itsbenjistone-blog]

@sampike: @benstoneheart: i'm only in my room with the door closed, ben...

@benstoneheart: wtf i yelled when i got home why didnt you answer i had to eat churros alone??????

[itsbenjistone-blog]

@benstoneheart: tfw when ur roommate isnt home and you have to cook your own dinner

[itsbenjistone-blog]

Halloween Asks

Bat: If you could transform into any kind of animal, what animal would you be?

Black Cat: Are you superstitious? If so, what are you superstitious about?

Broomstick: If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be?

Candy Corn: What food disgusts you the most?

Cauldron: What is your favorite thing to cook?

Cobwebs: One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark?

Coffin: Are you claustrophobic?

Demon: What is your worst flaw?

Eerie: One thing that always creeps you out?

Fright: What is your biggest fear?

Ghost: If you could be reincarnated, would you come back as another human or an animal? If an animal, what kind?

Gravestone: Ideal way you'd like to die?

Haunted House: If you could be roommates with anyone of your choice, who would you pick?

Hocus Pocus: What is the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?

Howel: Your favorite kind of dog?

Jack-o'-lantern: Do you have any scars? If so, how many?

Monster: What is your favorite scary movie to watch in the dark?

Mummy: Would you rather be buried or cremated when you die?

Potion: What is your favorite thing to drink? Alcoholic and non alcoholic?

Pumpkin: What is your favorite food around the holidays?

Scream: Easiest way to scare you?

Skeleton: Tell me one of your biggest secrets?

Spooky: What was your last nightmare about?

Trick or Treat: Tell me about the greatest prank you've ever pulled?

Vampire: Which one are you? Early bird or night owl?

Witch: If could have the power to cast any kind of spell, what kind of spell would you cast?

Zombie: What is one food you always overeat?

[itsbenjistone-blog]

“Don’t know how. Do you?”

They are pretty easy to cook though.. 

[itsbenjistone-blog]

“Can’t cook to save my life”

“Why don’t you make some? It can’t be that hard.”

[itsbenjistone-blog]

“It’s for work!” He protested, but grinned, “Nothing at all? You’ve yet to see my impressive collection of animal themed coffee cups, then.” Ben nodded, “Come on then, you aren’t allergic to dogs, are you?”

“Maybe it’s time to update your wardrobe? I don’t know, six sounds like enough to me. I really have no interest in holding you hostage when there’s nothing I want from you so you can relax.”

[itsbenjistone-blog]

rosamundarchibald:

“I was going to make some lewd joke about how I know meats quite well but I’m going to try really hard to refrain because I’m a classy young woman. Of course I remember. Sorry most of it was frozen…”

“Believe me, anyone who cares that much about the suits that they wear is into dick. Well, I’m flattered that the only person you want to full pay attention to is me, but you really need to get laid. For my sake and yours.”

“Our friendship is one, incredibly drawn out, lewd joke, Sammy.” Ben reminded her, “Frozen. You needed me. You still do. At least you can make me pancakes when I’m hung over, or god knows I’d have moved on.” 

“For your sake? What about you, Sam? Haven’t seen any morning lurkers recently? Maybe we should go out sometime, hm? I can’t score a date without your help anyway.”

[itsbenjistone-blog]

Taste of the Night | Subplot Para

                        Ben hated going out. He hated the noise of the bar and the sound of shouting, laughter and screams that filled his ears as the music pulsed loudly through his body. He hated his coworkers and their loud guffaws of laughter. They could be back at the morgue right now, there were four funerals tomorrow that they had to get bodies to, and none of them were done. If he had any hope of becoming a coroner like he wanted to be, Benjamin knew he needed to work at this like crazy. But he also knew he needed these people. They called him friend, and he hoped one day he could say the same for them. So he downed three shots in the first fifteen minutes, following those up with two rum and cokes and some fruity drink a man down the bar bought for him and then stumbled off to the bathroom.

          Returning was the worst part. He ran his hand against the wall, head down as music counted to pound through him, finding his way to the small messy table in the corner of the bar. But it was empty. It took him a minute to realize this, sitting, eyebrows drawn together, Ben looked around the table, trying to find what it was that was bugging him about the sticky mess. Then, it dawned on him, and he dug into his pockets for his wallet, his phone. Clicking the home button repeatedly on his cracked phone, Benjamin realized that it was dead. He then checked his wallet. Only a twenty. Stumbling outside, Ben found a seat on a bird shit stained bench, putting his head in his hands and waiting for something, someone, anything, honestly.

[itsbenjistone-blog]

“I don’t own that many ties, about six, actually, But I need them for work, shirt and tie kind of gig, you know, anyway, I do hope there wasn’t a plan to bind and gag me with my own ties...”

“I think I’d consider that more weird than anything else. Who the hell needs that many ties? The only reason I can think for wanting them is to bind and gag someone. Which I didn’t mean in the kinky way.”

[itsbenjistone-blog]

“You got something against pumpkin? Where’s your holiday spirit?”

“These hands were not made for cooking..”

Killing anyone won’t get you pumpkin pancakes. Also pumpkin pancakes sound gross. Unless they’re pumpkin shaped, not pumpkin flavored.

Why don’t you cook up something yourself?

[itsbenjistone-blog]

“Well unfortunately, I’m a bit short on friends who have useful talents. Or just friends in general, actually...”

“Unfortunately I’m not much of a cook, I’m limited to the basics, but perhaps there’s someplace around that’s open or ask a friend if you have one that’d be willing to make you some? I’m afraid I can’t be of much help.”

[itsbenjistone-blog]

“Nah, just a nasty run in with someone I’ve been trying to avoid. He tried to steal all my ties, you know, so I can never be to cautious.”

“That sounds kind of ominous. Why, what happened, was it closed or did someone try to kill you? I have no interest in your ties so we’re good. I don’t even know what I’d do with them.”

[itsbenjistone-blog]

“That would be messy. Remember when I first moved out here, Met you on like craigslist or some shit, and I made you make me a five course meal? That was not fun. I will not do that again. You’re knowledge of meats is lacking.”

“He might be a dick but does he like them, is the real question. Also you know me, I hardly have time to see you, I don’t want another person in my life who I can only half pay attention too. I like full paying attention to one person.”

“Someone should write a book about the fucked up stuff you and I do for the sake of fun.”

“Yes, thanks Captain Obvious. I really had no idea. Well, I’m not sure about Armani suits but I definitely have Armani jeans. Also, some dude in my department is really hot and wears Armani suits. He’s kind of a dick but he’s single. Should I get his number for you?”