itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog

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Let’s talk about Lilith, okay.

Let’s talk about how she knew from the start that she was worthy, was great, was equal to anything this new universe could throw at her, and most especially equal to Adam. Let’s talk about the way she wouldn’t compromise herself or her sexuality, wouldn’t take part in sex acts she didn’t like no matter the pressure. Let’s talk about how rather than submit she ran as fast and far as her feet could carry her, and somewhere along the way she stole the name of God like Prometheus stealing fire, the greatest secret in the universe and the biggest cheat code for reality. Let’s talk about how, when God sent angels to drag her back to Adam, she laughed in their faces and used the Name to give them the finger, to banish them from her presence. They couldn’t lay a hand on her.

Let’s talk about how she chose the greatest angel of them all for her consort—not husband, but freaking consort, and no, I’m not talking about Lucifer with his gilded wings and whiny bitchface. Lilith wasn’t interested in a baby throwing a tantrum. No, she picked Sammael, not the most beautiful but the most powerful angel of them all, the angel of Death and justice, who never Fell because God needed him too much to call him on all the shit he pulled. Let’s talk about how the most dangerous, terrifying angel in all the heavenly host fell to his knees for the first woman, loved her and adored her because he saw what she was and could not look away.

Let’s talk about how their children were monstrous but Lilith loved them anyway. Let’s talk about how she refused to abandon them or destroy them, let’s talk about how she gave each and every one its own name, and when they needed a home she had Sammael carve Hell out of the earth for her, for them, so they would always have a safe place away from God and Adam.

Let’s talk about how she heard about Eve—her replacement, her rival—and instead of being jealous sent Sammael to warn her. Let’s talk about how Lilith used her consort to send Eve the apple, to give her knowledge and self-awareness because she wanted Eve to have the same freedom Lilith had found. You don’t have to be a slave, all you are is yours.

It didn’t work, but she tried.

Let’s talk about how Lilith has been used as a warning for thousands of years, the first and best Bad Girl. Be good be quiet obey or you’ll end up just like that. Let’s talk about this woman who refused to bow her head, who told the world to fuck off and snatched immortality from between the bars of her cage, made herself more than human with nothing more than will and fire. Let’s talk about a woman who took an angel for a consort without ever giving up her sovereignty over herself, who cherished her children when others called them evil. Who built her own kingdom when Earth and Heaven didn’t want her, and rules it as an Empress.

You say I’ll end up just like her? That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be.

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

LILY RABE REPRISES HER ROLE AS SISTER MARY EUNICE FOR FREAK SHOW!

Lily Rabe will be appearing on Freak Show and reprising her Asylum role as nun Sister Mary Eunice. The actress, who has appeared in every season of AHS and is currently starring in the ABC midseason series The Whispers, will shoot her scenes this weekend.

The reason for Sister Mary’s return involves Pepper and how she ended up going from the freak show to Asylum‘s institution, Briarcliff. Rabe’s appearance will be on episode 10, which is their big winter cliffhanger.

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the pumpkin king / sally

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

it's kinda sad when you look at a fandom that you used to love and realize you're done. it's even worse when you kinda knew this point would come.

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

I can't say with 100% certainty that ao3 will do something, since I never had to report anyone on that site, but since ao3 was created with the users in mind, maybe they'll be different.

what happened, are you okay?

I’m fine! I went off for a bit to read Ilona Andrews’ new book, and that always evens me out.

Okay, basically - I don’t know how many people remember this, but sometime last year there was this git on ff.net who threw a hissy fit when I told them to stop contacting me and threatened to have me banned from the site. I blocked them, reported them, and that was the end of it. I posted about it at the time, with screenshots of the conversations.

Then a little while ago they showed up on ao3 (INTRODUCING THEMSELVES AS THE PERSON I’D BLOCKED, which, what), and pretty quickly started getting pushy about wanting me to work on a project with them. I said no repeatedly and told them to stop asking. I tried extremely hard to be polite and fucking meek about it, which now makes my blood boil I wish I’d been super fucking rude, but whatever, I thought that would be it.

And then this git comments again on the latest chapter of CoD, and I stopped being meek and bluntly said no, now stop asking, I will no longer respond to your comments. 

AND WE GET THIS DELIGHT

Ha, I do not harass or bully them.

I kept asking Siavahda because it amused me to see his/her reactions each, I am already co-writing (literally co-WRITING, by your definition anyway) with someone anyway, so you could say I didn’t need him/her anyway and that my nagging was simply to get a rise.

I enjoy watching the reactions of human beings, it allows me to look down on them, they are shallow and petty and overwhelmingly choose evil. Should I have any compassion for a human being? Should I care about their opinions and grievances? No, thank you!

No, never means, no. In this world, anyway. Words are like air, and all that. Like the opinions of others.

All in all, I do not care at all.

Which is so fucking disturbing I don’t even know where to start.

(To be clear, this comment was left on my work but not in response to me - someone else stepped in to defend me, and this was a response to that person).

So I typed up an ao3 harassment report, because it’s gotten to the point where I get this sick dread feeling whenever there’s a comment notification from ao3, because I’m worried it’s this creep. And I hate reporting people; I always feel like I’m making too much of a fuss, and I don’t know, maybe I am. Most of what this person’s done has been passive-aggressive rather than outright vicious? I don’t fucking know. But it really got to me, because I don’t know why it’s SO FUCKING HARD for people to just be decent. Doesn’t every kid hear ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’? And the above comment, along with a few others, make it clear this git was deliberately trying to ‘get a rise’ out of me, which, what? Why would you deliberately try to upset someone? I can’t understand that mindset at all.

And I guess secretly I am a delicate little flower, because sometimes I just want to cry that people like this EXIST. People who think upsetting someone else on purpose is FUN. 

So, it’s not so much what was said, as that it was said at all, if that makes any sense? I don’t know. And I’m so mad because there’s all these parts of me that are trying to pretend it wasn’t a big deal and that I’m being too sensitive and all this other bullshit that I’m sick of having in my head.

Et voila! An emo little essay/rant-thing for you. Sorry about that.

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

Oh, my god, it’s Noel Fisher!

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

DIVORCED. BEHEADED. DIED. DIVORCED. BEHEADED. SURVIVED.

You know what happens to his queens! Everyone knows what happens.

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

Catherine Howard

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

In response to this:

Ha, I do not harass or bully them.

I kept asking Siavahda because it amused me to see his/her reactions each, I am already co-writing (literally co-WRITING, by your definition anyway) with someone anyway, so you could say I didn’t need him/her anyway and that my nagging was simply to get a rise.

I enjoy watching the reactions of human beings, it allows me to look down on them, they are shallow and petty and overwhelmingly choose evil. Should I have any compassion for a human being? Should I care about their opinions and grievances? No, thank you!

No, never means, no. In this world, anyway. Words are like air, and all that. Like the opinions of others.

All in all, I do not care at all.

This person--this troll--just sounds like an attention whore. They love harassing people not because they enjoy watching human reactions (you know, there's a legitimate career field for this, by the way), but because they enjoy the attention.

I don't think you're being too sensitive, though I do think you are feeding into the negativity this person is trying to produce. Never feel like you're doing something wrong when you're reporting someone who is harassing you in any situation, because you're not being a delicate little flower. You're showing strength by reporting that person and not allowing them to shake you.

what happened, are you okay?

I’m fine! I went off for a bit to read Ilona Andrews’ new book, and that always evens me out.

Okay, basically - I don’t know how many people remember this, but sometime last year there was this git on ff.net who threw a hissy fit when I told them to stop contacting me and threatened to have me banned from the site. I blocked them, reported them, and that was the end of it. I posted about it at the time, with screenshots of the conversations.

Then a little while ago they showed up on ao3 (INTRODUCING THEMSELVES AS THE PERSON I’D BLOCKED, which, what), and pretty quickly started getting pushy about wanting me to work on a project with them. I said no repeatedly and told them to stop asking. I tried extremely hard to be polite and fucking meek about it, which now makes my blood boil I wish I’d been super fucking rude, but whatever, I thought that would be it.

And then this git comments again on the latest chapter of CoD, and I stopped being meek and bluntly said no, now stop asking, I will no longer respond to your comments. 

AND WE GET THIS DELIGHT

Ha, I do not harass or bully them.

I kept asking Siavahda because it amused me to see his/her reactions each, I am already co-writing (literally co-WRITING, by your definition anyway) with someone anyway, so you could say I didn’t need him/her anyway and that my nagging was simply to get a rise.

I enjoy watching the reactions of human beings, it allows me to look down on them, they are shallow and petty and overwhelmingly choose evil. Should I have any compassion for a human being? Should I care about their opinions and grievances? No, thank you!

No, never means, no. In this world, anyway. Words are like air, and all that. Like the opinions of others.

All in all, I do not care at all.

Which is so fucking disturbing I don’t even know where to start.

(To be clear, this comment was left on my work but not in response to me - someone else stepped in to defend me, and this was a response to that person).

So I typed up an ao3 harassment report, because it’s gotten to the point where I get this sick dread feeling whenever there’s a comment notification from ao3, because I’m worried it’s this creep. And I hate reporting people; I always feel like I’m making too much of a fuss, and I don’t know, maybe I am. Most of what this person’s done has been passive-aggressive rather than outright vicious? I don’t fucking know. But it really got to me, because I don’t know why it’s SO FUCKING HARD for people to just be decent. Doesn’t every kid hear ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’? And the above comment, along with a few others, make it clear this git was deliberately trying to ‘get a rise’ out of me, which, what? Why would you deliberately try to upset someone? I can’t understand that mindset at all.

And I guess secretly I am a delicate little flower, because sometimes I just want to cry that people like this EXIST. People who think upsetting someone else on purpose is FUN. 

So, it’s not so much what was said, as that it was said at all, if that makes any sense? I don’t know. And I’m so mad because there’s all these parts of me that are trying to pretend it wasn’t a big deal and that I’m being too sensitive and all this other bullshit that I’m sick of having in my head.

Et voila! An emo little essay/rant-thing for you. Sorry about that.

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

Esterhazy Palace, Hungary.

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

When you’re watching a new episode of your favorite show and someone tries to get you to do something:

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

....what?

Just finished typing up an abuse/harassment report to ao3. It’s stupid how emotionally wrecked this crap makes me. Why is it so fucking hard for people to just be decent to each other?

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

ZUHAIR MURAD Spring/Summer RTW 2015

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[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

a haiku about kingdom hearts:

oh my fucking shit

heal me god fucking dammit

for fuck’s sake donald

[itsjohnlockbitches-blog-blog]

book meme: [2/10 series/books] → stardust by neil gaiman

Still, he was alive, and the wind was in his hair, and the cloud was scudding through the sky like a galleon at full sail. Looking out over the world from above, he could never remember feeling so alive as he did at that moment. There was a skyness to the sky and a nowness to the world that he had never seen or felt or realised before.